Is it okay her boyfriend pushed her in anger?
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I'd also like to add... I had a bf when I was about 14, we were pretty serious for that age. I used to hit him over the head with books and once stabbed him in the leg with a pair of scissors because he pissed me off so much. (Yes, I know I had major issues.) But, even though I did those things, he never retaliated. I have to give him serious credit for holding himself together, because I'm sure many men would have just instinctively backhanded someone for stabbing them in the leg, or worse...0
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If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.
I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!
I am all for men hitting back, but they don't hit first. She approached aggressively because there is no other way to approach when argueing. The only acceptable reactions to it would be to leave the situation, stand his ground or meet the approach. Anything more is wrong.0 -
Pushing leads to punching...
First-hand experience.0 -
i agree with this. i stopped play fighting (or real fighting) with my cousins around 10 when it was clear they were able to hit me harder than i was able to hit them. my aunt's advice was basically don;t start non won't be none .I think that if women are going to fight like men, they should be treated as such. But that is probably just me... the first push seems warranted...the second, no. But if I saw a girl come at her boyfriend ready to fight and he pushed her out of the way, then good for him.
I will say that, unless a woman physically attacks a man, there's no reason to lay a hand on her.
ETA: I also don't think it should escalate. I'm don't support abuse, obviously, but it's stupid that women can hit men but if a man pushes a woman to get her off then he's the bad guy
and regardless of gender, an adult resorting to violence in expressing their anger or frustrations is never cool. i dont care if it's girl on girl, girl on guy, guy on girl or guy on guy. they are all equally wrong IMO.0 -
The first time it happened- His fault.
Anytime after that- meh.
If she's accepting the behavior, whether it's right or wrong doesn't matter.0 -
Really NO ONE should be pushing or hitting in a relationship BUT I just want to address the whole 'men shouldn't hit women' thing..
If -I- come at ANYONE in aggression then -I- am fully prepared to get 'moved' - not punched in the head..just 'moved'. I have been in an abusive relationship too - he put my head through a window..I clocked him upside the temple so hard he passed out - then I left.I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!lol nice to see a woman that lives in the real world.Yea, I was taught and have passed this along to my daughter - dont' start a fight with a man, acting like a man and think you won't get hit back like a man.
I am no one's 'punching bag' and I definitely do not expect anyone to be mine.. I'm a big woman (even when I am skinny) If I were to 'attack someone' (can't see this happening but who knows?) then regardless of man or woman I would expect them to defend themselves and any man who walked away would find out what landing on his face after being kicked in the balls felt like..Don't try the 'chivalry thing' and say ' I can't hit a woman' cause THIS woman will have NO problem hitting you.I don't start trouble and then expect to not be dealt with in the same manner. Of course I also don't hit my boyfriend and he would never hit me either (smart guy).I am all for men hitting back, but they don't hit first. She approached aggressively because there is no other way to approach when argueing. The only acceptable reactions to it would be to leave the situation, stand his ground or meet the approach. Anything more is wrong.
This ^^0 -
Is it OK to have an IQ above room temperature, because I feel like I'm in the wrong forum?0
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OK, for those who are quoting my post about the legality of being the initial aggressor and debating it, please know that I based my response on the fact that the boyfriend struck TWICE, meaning he didn't feel as if his life were in danger the first time. Get a clue.
Not defending his actions, as they were wrong, however the second action does not affirm what the intentions of the first one were.
A woman shoots a man in the face. To defend himself he rushes her and tries to tackle her.
He barely makes it through surgery but lives. When he sees her in court he's overwhelmed with anger and rushes her again and tackles her.
But because he did it the second time, OF COURSE his life wasn't in danger the first.
Get a clue.
The guy should've walked away. They should probably seek counseling and/or she should consider leaving him.
Saying 'oh well that would never happen to me, I would've fought back' is HORRIBLE advice. We don't know much about the situation beyond that one event (particularly the size and skill of the guy). If that stupid Jennifer Lopez movie were real life and she trained in kick boxing for a couple months, she would've been killed.
Leave the situation, seek help.0 -
God help the man that ever pushes or strikes one of my daughters. That is all.
My husband read that and said, "Right on!" :glasses:
OK, for those who are quoting my post about the legality of being the initial aggressor and debating it, please know that I based my response on the fact that the boyfriend struck TWICE, meaning he didn't feel as if his life were in danger the first time. Get a clue.
When I quoted you I specifically referred to the phrase whoever hits first. I was not talking about this specific incident as your post seemed to be broader than that.
I do have a clue. I am very familiar with our criminal justice system.0 -
Whoa, stop. This is absuse, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. Your friend is the classice abus-ee; my mom and older sister went through this with their husbands. It is NEVER ok to hurt someone out of anger, male or female. There is NEVER an excuse, it is NOT NORMAL in any way whatsoever. The moment she starts making excuses for him, that is the worst, bc most likely she will never leave him and let it continue. Unfortunately you cannot talk to or reason with most women like this bc they are co-dependent and are not strong enough to leave the guy on their own.
It is up to you what to do, but my advice is to have a serious sit down discussion with your friend, explain to her that this is unacceptable and she needs to leave the guy immediately. If she won't do it, there is nothing else you can do, and I would suggest you disconnect yourself from her. If the abuse gets worse and she continues to stay, and you stay her friend it will eventually start to tear you down as well. Trust me, I have been through this myself.0 -
Provoked or not (and the 2nd push on the head does not sound provoked) - definitely not acceptable behavior!
Up-in-the air on the 1st push, depending on how her approach looked (will never know), but the 2nd sounded COMPLETELY out-of-bounds! My feelings would be the same if the genders were reversed. Some people (not calling out ANYONE in particular) think that it's socially acceptable for a woman to slap a man or throw a drink in his face. I hold both sides to the same standard. </soapbox>0 -
this is one of the few times its ok to fight a woman.
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this is one of the few times its ok to fight a woman.
Yeah, maybe after the forehead push, she should've "hundred-heel"-kicked my @$$! :laugh:0 -
I had a best friend whose husband beat the crap out of her when he came home drunk. That is abuse.
When you decide to escalate an argument with your significant other and provoke a push or a shove. That is stupidity.0 -
I dunno, is it okay Lorena Bobbit chopped her husband's **** off? Perhaps...0
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Sounds like a completely toxic and emotionally immature relationship. Whether than asking who was right or who was wrong......it's more the point that any relationship that dissolves into a shoving match is doomed.0
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this is called domestic violence... lol0
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I wasn't going to reply, but I just can't sit on my hands any longer.
It. Is. NEVER. okay.
My best friend was almost killed last Christmas when her boyfriend grabbed a hold of her. He broke her nose, her jaw, shattered her eye socket, gave her a concussion, split her elbow open, pulled almost all her hair out, and broke her neck choking her. All while four other people were trying to pull him off. She had to have reconstructive face surgery, and now has permanent blurry vision and suffers from PTSD. He is now serving a 7 year prison term as a result of his actions.
It doesn't matter if a male hits a female, or a female hits a male, or any other combination. It is not okay.
Women, if you are being abused, leave. Don't wait for it to get worse. You grab your stuff and go.
Men, don't put up with it. If a woman can't respect you, leave the relationship.
It is not normal, and it is not okay.0 -
I was just wondering,my friend was telling me that her boyfriend has a terrible temper and the other day when they were arguing, he pushed her really hard, she said she was coming towards him and that was his reaction. She was then sitting down and they were still arguing, he then came towards her and pushed her head.
I personally don't think that's normal and wouldn't accept that behaviour but she seems to think that she provoked him and it was her fault. Meanwhile, their fight was about an ex girlfriend who sent him a package and now lives in the same country which he didn't mention to his girlfriend.
This all seems very strange to me, what do you think?
SURE its ok. She probably deserved it!!!
Really, this is even a question....you deserve dumb *kitten* answers!0 -
NO..!!0
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NO. This is only a path to greater problems.0
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Pushing is never okay in any relationship0
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I wish your friend well and hope the years can help her recover from at least some of the damage. He deserves much longer than 7 years; that kind of savagery indicates to me someone who is not fit to be a member of society at all, ever.I wasn't going to reply, but I just can't sit on my hands any longer.
It. Is. NEVER. okay.
My best friend was almost killed last Christmas when her boyfriend grabbed a hold of her. He broke her nose, her jaw, shattered her eye socket, gave her a concussion, split her elbow open, pulled almost all her hair out, and broke her neck choking her. All while four other people were trying to pull him off. She had to have reconstructive face surgery, and now has permanent blurry vision and suffers from PTSD. He is now serving a 7 year prison term as a result of his actions.
It doesn't matter if a male hits a female, or a female hits a male, or any other combination. It is not okay.
Women, if you are being abused, leave. Don't wait for it to get worse. You grab your stuff and go.
Men, don't put up with it. If a woman can't respect you, leave the relationship.
It is not normal, and it is not okay.0 -
My biased opinion is F*&% no. Since I do work at a prosecuting office...0
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No one has the right to push, reason,or excuse to push anybody. In no way is it her fault on how he reacted.0
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no...NEVER ok!!! One push or hit, and my bags would be packed and I would be out the door...and wouldn't have to worry about him following me because he would be knocked the F out!0
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She was just going to hug him she said
I don't buy that. Who goes in for the hug in the middle of an argument?
^^
I can understand an immediate reflex when someone is coming at you, but pushing her head? To me, it's a red flag. If they've had serious arguments before that didn't result in this behavior, I'd town it down to a pink flag.
Anyone who can't control their anger enough they feel the need to lash out with something physical is a red flag, definitely. Although I do agree that if someone came towards me, man or woman, my initial reaction would be to push them away. If he pushed me again though, he'd have 1 hour to get his things out
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Really??? I teach my son and was taught that you do not lay a hand on any woman. Period!0
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Never a really man would never lift a hand to a lady0
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God help the man that ever pushes or strikes one of my daughters. That is all.
Amen brother!!
Lay a hand on my daughter and there won't be anywhere you can hide.0
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