Is it okay her boyfriend pushed her in anger?

TylerJ76

Just break up..

tinak33

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

So what is a man to do when a woman is coming at him aggressively?

Apparently you have never watched Dr Phil He always says it is never ever ever ever ok and it is completely unacceptable for a man to put his hands on a woman. The reason being is the matchup is unfair. Men are generally bigger, stronger, tougher, etc. I dont think a man should sit and take it. I know there are women out there that try to push buttons or hit their men. I think the man should remove himself from the situation. Just like a woman should if a man is hitting her. It is never acceptable for anyone...man or woman...to put their hands on their parnter(unless it is in a good way of course) Not only that but if there are children in the mix all you are doing is showing them it is acceptable behavior.

If I pushed my boyfriend in anger he MIGHT take a step back. If he pushed me in anger, I would hit the floor.

EDIT: I would call both pushes her friend took from her boyfriend as abusive. A man (generally speaking) can physically do much more damage than a woman.

DontStopB_Leakin

You should never put hands of anger on a loved one.
Man or woman.

And a woman who thinks its ok to act like a b*tch just because you can't hit a woman..
Well that's just as cowardly as a man who would hit a woman.

^^Bingo.

If she provoked him and threatened him physically, then he was well within his right.

However, it doesn't sound like she did. If she was just yelling at him, but not getting physical in the slightest, then he's just a Chris Brown in training, and she needs to GTFO.

12skipafew99100

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

Would you rather him push her or punch her he would of push her out of his way because she got him wound up I tend to get a push every now an again when I get in his face because I o he won't hit me hahah

Seems like this kind of pushing and head pushing is not only degrading but always escalates into more and more physical aggression. As she lets the abuse go, he will become more confortable with the fact that she will take it. There is no line drawn here. It is never ok for anyone to put their hands on another in anger.

healthyformeanMona

women's violence is usually different than men's violence. Women can be abusive, but more often, the woman fights back because she is tired of his abuse, she is trying to protect her kids, she wants it to stop. In those cases, the man feels angry or annoyed, but not usually afraid. The woman is in fear when he physically assaults her. The motives are different too. With the guy, it is an issue of power and control, and comes from his own insecurities or entitlement issues. Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior--and a pattern is 2 or more incidents.

EatClean_WashUrNuts

No. Never.



And any man that does should be buried in the desert.

As for a woman...make sure you bring the handcuffs.

phillips0911

She was just going to hug him she said

I don't buy that. Who goes in for the hug in the middle of an argument?

Maybe not everyone goes in for a hug... but we do in my marriage. Pre-marriage counseling taught us that sometimes an argument that's getting heated can be stopped by simple hug. One person has to stop the anger, give a hug/kiss and say "lets calm down and talk about this, before it gets worse". It's not unrealistic to think it would have been for a hug. It does work MOST of the time. Other times, we walk away and try talking after 10-15 minutes.

If she was advancing to hit him the first time, yes push her away and then walk away before it gets worse. But not a shove for injury.

The second time he pushed her head or whatever was not okay either and didn't seem like there was a reason other than his anger.

If they can't learn to talk it out without violence it's not s good relationship for either person. She obviously presses his buttons and he obviously can't control himself.

Just my view based on the information provided.

AyaKara

If he misunderstood her coming at him as aggressive and wanted to protect himself, okay. Second push was uncalled for. The two should go to therapy together to resolve any deep-seated emotional issues that they have (in regards to the boyfriend's temper, & her own issues) & start from there in regards to getting their relationship sorted out.

MinnieInMaine

Add me to the chorus of "in no way is that even remotely acceptable".

No one ever said she came at him agressively the first time. We have no way of knowing what she was doing. Assuming she was actually just trying to touch or hug him to calm him down, it was definitely uncalled for.

If I was in the situation though,honestly I might brush it of as a misunderstanding - it's hard to say for sure not actually having been there to witness or participate. Physcial violence has been a clear deal breaker between DH and I from nearly day one. However, things do happen. We had one argument years ago where he tried to get me to calm down and listen to him by cornering me and I flippped out and kicked him in the leg. It very nearly broke us up but once we calmed down and gave it some time, we realized it was just a major misunderstanding of each others intentions/reactions and decided to move on and just make sure that didn't happen again.

But the 2nd push to her head while she was sitting down - yeah that's a big red flag moment right there. If this is a new relationship, I would encourage her to break up with him before it gets too serious to back out of If they've been together for a while, she owes him a conversation IMO. She needs to let him know this kind of behavior is unacceptable and if he continues, their relationship will end. If she doesn't put her foot down now, chances are it's just going to get worse.

Litlbeast

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

Would you rather him push her or punch her he would of push her out of his way because she got him wound up I tend to get a push every now an again when I get in his face because I o he won't hit me hahah

+facepalm+

Donnacoach

No way, no how, uh uh never!!!

Minnesota_Nice

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

So what is a man to do when a woman is coming at him aggressively?

Get the hell out of the kitchen...

BAM!

auroranflash

ABSOLUTELY NOT! PROVOKED OR NOT! And I'm ashamed that another person justified it on this thread. Whether verbally or physically, It doesn't justify someone abusing someone else. My ex-husband did that to me once - at our son's little league ballpark. We were in an argument & he literally came off the baseball field in the middle of a game, backed me into a corner, shoved me & threw a drink on me. There were several witnesses and becuase this happened at a community park, the league directors had no choice but to call the police & file a report - even though I didn't want to. The police came & he was escorted out of the park & suspended from coaching for an entire season. I had SEVERAL people that came to me & offered to be a witness in my case if I pressed charges. I'm just very thankful neither one of my kids saw their dad do this.

And for the record, he had NEVER been physically abusive to me... we were at the height of going thru our divorce & tensions were running very high between us. But that still didn't justify his behavior for what he did.

And this goes either way - I've seen plenty of women shove their men as well!

I like what you have to say here, and i would consider your case abusive because he did it in public. That really shows how little self control he must have had and that seems as though that could escalate much further. But I also believe that pushing someone is completely different than hitting them.

It's abusive because it's abusive, regardless of whether it was in public or not.

It's hard enough for women in abusive situations to get out of the mindset of 'oh he was just mad, I pissed him off, he didn't mean it, it won't happen again' without putting clauses in there "well, it was in private and no one saw, so it wasn't that bad".

I either didnt explain myself well or you misunderstood. It seemed to me, from her story, that he was unprovoked. I'm not saying abuse is ok behind closed doors i was just making a point that he already lacked the self control. My ex from many years back was perfect prince charming to me in public but once we were alone he morphed to a ****head, so therefore, ofcourse i do not believe its ok behind closed doors. I never blamed myself i just always believed he was actually going to change, luckily it only took me like 2-3 months to leave him, but he kept on calling me for almost a year after that..

There are different forms of abuse, and I really believe that physical abuse should be considered such if it is unprovoked, or, for example, if the guy is pissed because you wont touch his ****.

In the heat of the moment, in an argument, a push is not such a big deal. In the heat of the moment, in the arguement, a closed fist knock out punch, well run while you can.

i hope i made my opinions a little more clear.

Thanks for the clarification. I'm very glad you got out of your situation and are in a better place now.

Countryboy_

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.

So it's not assault if she pushes him?


Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.

Nobody said she pushed him. Read the initial post.

_skittybang

,.

ironanimal

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

So what is a man to do when a woman is coming at him aggressively?

Well, when a girl in my school tried to stab me with scissors, I hit her with a 3ft plastic craft bin. Thats the only physical confrontation I've had with a woman, though.

Dub_D

If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.

ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?

*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..

So what is a man to do when a woman is coming at him aggressively?

Well, when a girl in my school tried to stab me with scissors, I hit her with a 3ft plastic craft bin. Thats the only physical confrontation I've had with a woman, though.

Not acceptable. You should have walked away and let her stab you in the back. Poor girl..

Still_Fluffy

Why do you need to ask the question? Violence against anyone when you are not being physically threatened is cowardly and ****ish. Violence against women is unacceptable! If it continues I hope your “friend” gets out of the relationship.

JacquelineD35

Fri 11/09/12 08:39 AMQUOTE:

Sore subject for me... I was in an abusive relationship for several years, so my obvious answer will be NO its not ok.



I, too, was in one when i was much younger and i got to say, the times i would get hit were unprovoked or bec he wasn't getting what he wanted in bed. THAT IS ABUSE. having an argument and pushing your gf so she gets out of your face, is not.

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I went through the same situation as you, if he didnt get his way then it was a sure beating... If i looked to my right or left then I was accused of looking at another man and it was a sure beating. It took me partialy losing my hearing in my left ear to finally get my *kitten* out of there and the support of friends and family. Like I said it's just a sore subject for me.

Debbe2

It's an alert in the least and a red flag at face value. But I don't understand what the argument was over? His ex girlfriend lives in the same country which he failed to mention? Who fights over that? A country is a big place.