Is it okay her boyfriend pushed her in anger?
Replies
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I don't think that it's acceptable at all. I was in an abusive relationship for 4 1/2 yrs and that's just how things start to excalate. Not saying that he's going to start beating her for sure, but sometimes men (or women) with anger problems start showing signs of aggression slowly. When they realize that their SO has stayed with them and forgiven them, they move on worse ways to take out their aggression. Maybe suggest some counseling to them, or just encourage her to walk away during an argument instead of staying there just so nobody gets hurt.0
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If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.0 -
Not ok.
Light up the Brett Signal.0 -
Absolutely not... Neither one should put their hands on the other.
Pushing is not acceptable, it leads to worse things.0 -
in my most humble opinion, pushing is NOT the same as hitting/beating. If she was being a *****, she probably deserved it. One day, I came at my boyf really nasty and aggressive, i got up in his face and was screaming at him and I smacked him, and he smacked me back. he's never done it again, its been years, but i sure as hell deserved it. I never held it against him.
I believe that smacking/pushing/shaking a woman is completely different than closed-fist punching her, or being truly abusive.
I have been both physically and mentally abused in my life, and i know my boyf doesn't fall under that category. I hope, for your friend's sake, she knows the same thing.0 -
ABSOLUTELY NOT! PROVOKED OR NOT! And I'm ashamed that another person justified it on this thread. Whether verbally or physically, It doesn't justify someone abusing someone else. My ex-husband did that to me once - at our son's little league ballpark. We were in an argument & he literally came off the baseball field in the middle of a game, backed me into a corner, shoved me & threw a drink on me. There were several witnesses and becuase this happened at a community park, the league directors had no choice but to call the police & file a report - even though I didn't want to. The police came & he was escorted out of the park & suspended from coaching for an entire season. I had SEVERAL people that came to me & offered to be a witness in my case if I pressed charges. I'm just very thankful neither one of my kids saw their dad do this.
And for the record, he had NEVER been physically abusive to me... we were at the height of going thru our divorce & tensions were running very high between us. But that still didn't justify his behavior for what he did.
And this goes either way - I've seen plenty of women shove their men as well!0 -
Towards the end of my last relationship my boyfriend would get really angry and pin me down on the bed so I couldn't get away or call someone for help... he was usually drunk. I HATED that feeling, just felt completely helpless. I got my hand loose one time and punched him, busted his eyebrow open, that was the last time that happened, but we broke up within a week after that.
I did my fair share of crazy things in that relationship but I don't think its acceptable. I also wouldn't think its acceptable to punch my boyfriend or push him out of anger either. Really, if either person gets so angry that they resort to violence its probably a very destructive relationship anyway.0 -
If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.
my point exactly!0 -
Pushing is better than punching.
Pushing can evolve into punching.0 -
nope. not ok0
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NO, NO, NO, NO, NO Get out before it's to late.0
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If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDING ME?!?!?
*smh* NO NO NO NO.. absolutly not in any way shape or form. This is NOT acceptable in any way..
So what is a man to do when a woman is coming at him aggressively?
I agree with you. If she's coming *aggressively*, he should at least be able to defend himself. Women can be the abusive partner, too.
The pushing her head while she's sitting...not so much. That sounds abusive.0 -
If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.
I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!0 -
Serious answer: No. My sister's fiance begged her not to tell me about shoving her like that. You know why? because I would've dismantled him. And the people that raised him. The wedding got called off and I've never seen him again.
It is never ok to put your hands on another human being in anger. Find a tree. Find a wall. Those hands better not find a person.0 -
da-da-da-da-daaaaa-dun-dadadada-da-da-da-da-da0 -
The pushing her head while she's sitting...not so much. That sounds abusive.
Yes, of course. That is abusive - no question.0 -
I don't think it is right for him to push her unless she came at him and that was his reaction. The second time around he was WAY wrong. If somebody pushed my head in an arguement, boyfriend friend whoever, they're getting punched.
Saying this, I don't know these people and wasn't there to see the argument. So really I can't say anything, this is all he said she said. And it is only one side of the story.0 -
ABSOLUTELY NOT! PROVOKED OR NOT! And I'm ashamed that another person justified it on this thread. Whether verbally or physically, It doesn't justify someone abusing someone else. My ex-husband did that to me once - at our son's little league ballpark. We were in an argument & he literally came off the baseball field in the middle of a game, backed me into a corner, shoved me & threw a drink on me. There were several witnesses and becuase this happened at a community park, the league directors had no choice but to call the police & file a report - even though I didn't want to. The police came & he was escorted out of the park & suspended from coaching for an entire season. I had SEVERAL people that came to me & offered to be a witness in my case if I pressed charges. I'm just very thankful neither one of my kids saw their dad do this.
And for the record, he had NEVER been physically abusive to me... we were at the height of going thru our divorce & tensions were running very high between us. But that still didn't justify his behavior for what he did.
And this goes either way - I've seen plenty of women shove their men as well!
I like what you have to say here, and i would consider your case abusive because he did it in public. That really shows how little self control he must have had and that seems as though that could escalate much further. But I also believe that pushing someone is completely different than hitting them.0 -
From what you said, no. Completely not okay. She needs to get the eff out now.
But she sounds like she's defending his actions and saying she provoked it. It doesn't sound like she's going to leave, but you should encourage her to as a friend anyway.0 -
Also, in my state, the police told me if he had left any type of mark/bruise, they would've pressed charges and taken him to jail whether I wanted to or not. But because he didn't leave a mark, pressing charges would be up to me. However, shoving was considered physical abuse.
And in this case of your friend, if his temper is that bad, it could just start with shoving & escalate to something worse in the future. She should at least be careful in that matter.0 -
If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.
I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!
lol nice to see a woman that lives in the real world.0 -
Physical aggression is never okay and thus NOT justifiable. regardless if provoked or not. That's abuse.0
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Pushing is a big red flag that your friend might be in a dangerous abusive relationaship. This should not be taken lightly or written off. These things only get much worse. Don't let her distance herself from you. Let her know that this behavior is not okay and she does not deserve it. Point her to some resources for abuse victims. Remain an open and nonjudgemental friend. She may need some support.0
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even if the first push was justifiable (only they know really) - the second one certainly was not in the way that is described here
Agreed0 -
No, it's not OK.
The correct course of action, as any self respecting man knows, is to leave the hostile environment immediately.
And go and sleep with your other girlfriend to take your mind off things...0 -
Not OK. Not OK. Men shoudl keep their hands off unless asked. Especially if there's an arguement. Not OK.
Did I mention it's not OK? No excuse, he's a turd.0 -
If she was coming at him aggressively then he had the right to push her.
No. If she was coming at him with a weapon, or he was in fear for his life or health...maybe. If he just pushed her in anger, its assault and battery. She should get away from him.
Also agree with this and it's something that I've addressed already with my young daughter
"If you start a fight and want to hit like a man, expect to get hit back like a man"
This talk was in line with - it's NOT ok to hit people .... unless they're trying to hurt you or have hit you first. Maybe it's bad parenting but I told her if someone tries to hit you, give them ONE warning and walk away. They try again - lay them out.
So it's not assault if she pushes him?
Not trying to single you out, personally, but it's ridiculous that a woman get smack a man but if the man pushes her back to get her off, he's the one who gets in trouble.
I agree. Woman take advantage of this too much too. IMO when women try to fight like a man they deserve a push, maybe even a smack in the head!
lol nice to see a woman that lives in the real world.
Yea, I was taught and have passed this along to my daughter - dont' start a fight with a man, acting like a man and think you won't get hit back like a man.0 -
nope never!0
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Sore subject for me... I was in an abusive relationship for several years, so my obvious answer will be NO its not ok.0
This discussion has been closed.
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