How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?

Moretakitty

I am a "stay at home" mom, but I also work full time from home.
It's tiring doing both at the same time, but I have been able to be with her for the 1st 3 years of her life and I wouldn't have changed anything for the world!
Now that she is 3, we are looking at preschools so I'll be alone again.

I look forward to the weekend when I can get out to go shopping, but I am not envious of my sweetie for working out of the house. Each has their drawbacks.

tracypk

I tried and I hated it. I was bored and couldn't wait to get out of the house for any reason. SO loves it and hates to go to work. He's better at it so it works for us for me to work and him to stay home.

Lift_hard_eat_big

Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.

I'm curious as to how you were raised. Did both your parents work? Or was your mother or father a stay at home parent?

jenluvsushi

I think being a stay at home parent is the most wonderful thing a parent can do but it isn't for everyone. We have these little people that we love so much and then we go out and pay other people to raise them...it's kinda sad IMO. I personally can't stay home due to financial reasons but I would if I could. I personally found that it is much harder to stay home than to go to work. I stayed home for 6 months after I had my DH and I thought I was going to lose my mind. I wish I had the temperment for it. It is the toughest job and I have nothing but respect for the parents out there that do it and do it well.

AnnaMC1977

Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.

What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.

No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.

"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.

If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.

What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.

No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.

"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.

If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.

and taking care of your children is lazy? In what world? It sounds like you might have some unresolved issues but I won't probe.

Contrarian

If it works in your family, then great. If it doesn't, then great. There are different kinds of families and none of them are wrong as long as the people in them are all content.

AnnaMC1977

Both my parents worked. I was placed in 3 yr old kindergarden, and before that I was passed around between grandparents. I grew up thinking that being a housewife was just lazy and a way to get out of working. I think it's stupid to allow one person to bear the financial burden of a family when one of the family member (the wife) is fully capable of going to work. There are lots of jobs (you need an education) that have daycares at a very reduced rate (less if you work it out to volunteer there). There is no excuse for someone to stay home all day long. Especially if the kids are in school. What exactly do you do for 6 to 8 hours? I highly doubt you are cleaning or doing other wifely duties for that long.

oregonzoo

Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.

What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.

No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.

"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.

If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.

There is NOTHING lazy about being a stay at home parent. For as smart and enlightened as you think you are that is a damned ignorant statement.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

It makes me quite sad that someone would honestly believe that someone's entire worth is based on them having a PAYING job. What does a paycheck have to do with being lazy or ambitious? What if you spend your time volunteering? What if you have a special needs child? What if you have multiple children and daycare means that your net pay is rather trivial compared to the time you're spending away from your children? There's more to life than how much money you make.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

Both my parents worked. I was placed in 3 yr old kindergarden, and before that I was passed around between grandparents. I grew up thinking that being a housewife was just lazy and a way to get out of working. I think it's stupid to allow one person to bear the financial burden of a family when one of the family member (the wife) is fully capable of going to work. There are lots of jobs (you need an education) that have daycares at a very reduced rate (less if you work it out to volunteer there). There is no excuse for someone to stay home all day long. Especially if the kids are in school. What exactly do you do for 6 to 8 hours? I highly doubt you are cleaning or doing other wifely duties for that long.

Passed around between grandparents--I don't envy you. and why do you assume THE WIFE is the stay at home parent? If you're in a loving and committed relationship why would you think 1) you have no say without contributing financially and 2) that you need NO ONE to take care of you and your kids. When you get married and decide to have children you are supposed to love your children and spouse more than you love your paycheck--I think it's assumed that you would take care of them and they would do the same. Period. That's what love is. You decide as a unit whether one parent should stay at home. I'd rather have a parent at home than passing my child around--assuming it can be accommodated financially.

AnnaMC1977

No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

VelociMama

No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

Okay, enough. We get it. You think SAHM are lazy bums, but you don't have your own kids. You've made your point time and time and time again over and over and over again. Why do you feel like you have the right to bash other people's choices in how they run their family when you don't even have one of your own?

oregonzoo

Well I certainly hope your life goes 100% to plan. And that you never find yourself out of work or in need of help.

And I REALLY hope should you ever find a partner that THEY never lose their job. I can't imagine what you would put them through.....

bushidowoman

If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.

Someone could just as easily say that it is lazy, irresponsible, and selfish to have children just to let someone else care for them and pretty much raise them while you are out doing your own thing for 8-10 hrs a day. Just so that you can have time away from your children/chase your own dreams/afford more "things"?

No, *I* would never say that--as I previously mentioned, I have the best of both worlds. I hold no judgment for either side. I'm just saying that for every judgmental point, there is an equally judgmental counterpoint.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

i'm not crazy about anyone who chooses to believe that a partnership is based on how much money you bring to the table.

BogQueen1

I work full time, and have for quite a while. I would love nothing more then to become a stay at home Mom. I don't know that that will ever happen, but if it did, I would raise my child and write children's books.

love4fitnesslove4food_wechange

oh found it...

I just don't see how it's possible these days. Even if you have a good job, having both parents work is added security in case the "bread winner" loses his (or her) job. I'm not a parent (nor will I ever be), but I would never even consider being a stay at home mom. I enjoy adult interaction way too much to focus my entire life and attention on kids.

There is hope--at least she doesn't plan to have children.

TexasTroy

I am not a parent and dont ever see myself being one. Ive been married, ive done it and its not for me and kids are not in the cards so I cant speak from personal experience but my brother and his wife decided she would be a stay at home mom and it has worked out great for them...seeing it first hand, I think it works out better for the kids to have a parent stay at home.

jenniferinfl

Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job that I've ever had. I used to be a stocker in a distribution center where I was expected to cut and stock 200 50lb cases an hour. It was grueling. I would still take that job back in a heartbeat if I could get a job that paid enough where my husband could stay home with our daughter instead.

For some personality types it may be great, but, to me it is one of the most frustrating things I've ever done.

Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, but I love her more when not every single minute of every day I'm following her path of destruction. Then my husband comes home and acts like I haven't done anything all day. Most days it makes me want to cry, just the utter lack of appreciation. He couldn't handle that stocking job I had, he started working there too and quit. He could never handle our daughter day in and day out, but, wow, would I ever love to let him try.