How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?
love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
Posts: 6,897 Member
in Chit-Chat
You can just talk freely or use the following questions to guide you! Thanks for sharing your perspective!
If you're the SAHP (stay at home parent) ...are your envious that your spouse gets to "escape" ...even if it is for work?
Do you like staying at home?
If you're the off-to-work parent...are you resentful that your spouse stays at home? Do you care that your spouse isn't contributing to the household income?
What would the ideal arrangement look like for you?
If you're the SAHP (stay at home parent) ...are your envious that your spouse gets to "escape" ...even if it is for work?
Do you like staying at home?
If you're the off-to-work parent...are you resentful that your spouse stays at home? Do you care that your spouse isn't contributing to the household income?
What would the ideal arrangement look like for you?
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Replies
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Lived it. I would say HELL F-ING NO. Biggest mistake of my life.0
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Yes im envious he gets to escape and glad to go back to work next year.
I hate staying home0 -
I did it and would do it again in a heartbeat.0
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I was for four years. Sometimes I miss it a lot.
I would not negatively judge one who was a stay at home mom. Just like I wouldn't judge a mother who has a family but is very career orientated.
I doubt I could do it again. I need to work.0 -
I am envious of the people who are stay at home parents, and LOVE it. I, personally, do not enjoy it.0
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I'm a SAHM. I don't really get jealous of my hubby "escaping." I was a working mom up until last January (my DS was 19 months old when I quit working). I do miss talking to adults and having lunch breaks to do whatever I want, but being a working mom with all of my son's health issues was stressful and I was missing a lot of work to be home with him. I like staying at home now and I hope I am lucky enough to continue to stay at home until my son is at least in high school.0
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I am not going to say that every day is peachy keen because there are definitely HARD days (I homeschool 3 of my 4 and the other one is not old enough yet-he's 2, almost 3) but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get paid in ways other than $$...I worked outside the home for over 5 years before we had kids and I quit at the end of my pregnancy with my first child. Sure, there are times I'd love to contribute financially but my dh is so great to remind me (and anyone else who phrases it wrong) that I do work.
My job is to save $$ and raise our kids.
BTW, if I ever get the chance to go back to school, I do have other dreams, they're just as important to me as my kids. I would love to be a labor and delivery nurse when my kids grow up.0 -
I'm a stay at home mom. (4 kids, ages 17, 12, 3 and 1) There are days I love it... and days I want to cry and ask myself why in the hell and I'm staying at home when I could be back to work, friends, adults! lol But I love knowing I'm raising my kids, and with them always
My husband makes enough money to where we aren't suffering by me being home... And he WANTS his children raised by me. He wont even let our daughter go to the free childcare offered by the hospital for our doctor visits! lol So, for us it works, and we don't fight about stuff like that.
I can tell you... Being a SAHM is WAYYYYYYYYYYY harder than any other job I've EVER had. Mentally and Physically.0 -
I was very fortunate .. I didn't have to "work" . Although I was divorced (separated when our son was 2 .. divorced finalized when he was 4) .. and single the rest of the time .. I raised my son as a single parent for 14 years! I had the financial help of my parents.. however .. no one here to help me.
I don't regret a single day .. it's been wonderful and fabulous. He's 18 .. off to college .. Straight A's .. I volunteered and was active in my community and did everything that I loved .. including traveling the world with my son.
My father is Norwegian .. my mother is German .. my father, son and I are the only U.S. citizens (mom is only a legal resident alien) .. :-) All our relatives are overseas .. so traveling was wonderful .. and we still do it.
Edit: and yes .. I was a stay at home parent!! yay! I feel so lucky to have been able to do that!0 -
I really enjoy staying home, my son is so important to me and I love that I will be there for him and I know he is getting the attention and learning experiences that he deserves. Sometimes I get a little stir crazy but that's what girl nights are for, and talking to your spouse about it definitely helps. He is great at giving me a break and helping out when he gets home after work. I contribute to the household income by having two extra babies with my son and I also did passion parties for a while which helps a lot. The only thing I ever hated about staying home was the lack of income but that can be easily fixed as I have stated earlier.0
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I'm only envious that my husband goes to lunch with his parents. :-) He has a very stressful job, and I'm extremely appreciative that he works and I get to stay home with our kids and homeschool. He's not resentfuul of my lack of income, because he believes I'm the best caretaker of our kids, and I'm a total tightwad. He even calls his paycheck "our" paycheck. We know our family is way more important than any amount of money. It is a little stressful having 4 kids aged 5 and under...0
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You can just talk freely or use the following questions to guide you! Thanks for sharing your perspective!
If you're the SAHP (stay at home parent) ...are your envious that your spouse gets to "escape" ...even if it is for work?
Do you like staying at home?
If you're the off-to-work parent...are you resentful that your spouse stays at home? Do you care that your spouse isn't contributing to the household income?
What would the ideal arrangement look like for you?
I am the working parent while my husband stays at home. I know he envies me a little bit, because he's told me so. He gets stir crazy here, which is why date nights and him going and hanging out with friends is so important. He needs to get out of the house, and I understand that.
I have no problems supporting our entire family, so long as he is taking care of the day to day household stuff. I generally have to leave him a list of things I would like accomplished during the day, but if I do, he's good about doing most, if not all of them.
For our family, this works out well. He is having to go and look for a job now, though. Insurance up at my work just sky-rocketed, and I can't afford it if he doesn't have an income. Even with another baby on the way, I can make it with what I make at my job, except for the insurance. And I don't make boat loads of money, either. I just haven't accumulated tons of debt like alot of people my own age. I don't own a credit card, and my car is paid off. That helps alot.0 -
I'm a SAHM. I do not envy my husband for "escaping" every day. Our little boy is such a sweet happy little joy, there's nothing to escape from! I actually feel bad for my husband that he misses out on his sweet smile so much every day!
I love staying at home! That's what being a mom means. I am lucky enough to be in a family that financially allows me to stay at home. I know not every family has the luxury, so I am grateful we do. Sure, I could work full time, but why pay someone else to raise my kid for me? That's my job, I don't want anyone doing it for me!
My husband would never resent that I don't contribute to the family's income, because it's my job to do the shopping, stay on top of bills and keep the house clean and chores done. That's the plan we agreed on when we decided to try for a baby, and it's worked perfectly from day one.
Ideally, I'd want my husband to work from home so he could take breaks and have lunches with us, but I guess you can't have it all!
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Did it for a short while, its not for me I like working..But if they like it and can afford it more power to them.0
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I was laid off for 4 months and loved it. It's hard work, but I would love to be able to be full time dedicated to running and managing my home. As it stands I feel very partitioned trying to stay on top of my life, it would be nice to be able to focus on the one that brings me the greatest sense of satisfaction and reward. If I could afford it I would still send my son off to preschool, he learns so much from his peers that I just wouldn't be able to give him at my kitchen table. I think that 3 hours would probably be the key to my sanity.0
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Some days I miss working outside the home and miss my job but I figure I have the rest of my life to do that, my kids are only going to be young once. I don't think staying home works for everyone or is right for everyone.
I actually think HE envies ME because I get to do things with the kids he doesn't get to do very often, like help them with homework, go have lunch with them at school, spend afternoons at the pool during summer vacation. They're small things but things that SAHP often take for granted.
I don't envy him for getting away... he works very hard so that I can be with the kids.0 -
I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM. 0 -
I'm not the sahp type. I work 25 hours a week outside of the home. It's a perfect compromise. I get to take care of the household and all my children's needs, plus I get the adult interaction. It's amazing though the amount of grief I get from either direction. You have the people who are like oh, you only work 25 hours, what do you do with all that free time? Ummm wtf is free time? I certainly don't have that. Then you get the sahms who think I'm doing some huge injustice to my kids by not being there for them 24/7. You can't win, so I don't even try. I do what works for my family.0
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I was a SAHM while my son was in infant and toddler-hood....except for the time I spent at school (mostly nights). Having only one income is tough, but I do miss the general flow of the day being SAH. Ideally, I am looking into a job that I can to mainly from home so that we get the benefits of 2 incomes with the benefits of a SAH parent. Best of the best situation: If my DH gets to work out of the home some as well. It would certainly make dealing with new babies easier with more hands on deck during the day.0
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I'm currently at home with my kids while my husband works in the mining industry. He can be gone for up to 4 weeks at a time so a full on SAHM. It's busy looking after my 2 but I also don't envy him he works long hours and does a tough job to provide for us.
Our roles were reversed previously he stayed at home with the 2 kids while I worked so we both understand just how hard each others role is and really appreciate each other. Honestly think it has made us much stronger as a couple
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I stay at home and my husband likes it that way. There are a lot of times where I miss working simply because I made decent money. I hated my job, but that extra income would make a huuge difference in our lifestyle right now.
I do like being able to stay home though. It makes eating healthy and exercising on a regular basis much more easier. Our home is a lot cleaner these days and I have time to make good, homemade meals for my family. My step son also gets a lot more "jess time" (my name's Jess). My husband seems happier too. It was me before that was the bread winner and it has done wonders for his ego to be working. I am less stressed out and he is less stressed out.
I do some work through Amazon at home to make some extra cash. It's pretty easy to get bored staying at home with a 4 year old staying with us every other week. There is only so much cleaning and cooking and working out a person can do.0 -
I have one of my friends whose a stay at home mom and she's managed a way to make money doing office type work while taking care of her four year old daughter. It saves her tons of child care costs, she can effectively schedule herself since she's her own boss. I think it's awesome and doesn't deserve any negativity it gets.
As far as I go, I could definitely be a stay at home dad if need be.
With my ex, I always managed to work different shifts so there was no need for a stay at home parent.0 -
I'm a stay at home mom and I do love it. I'm a little unusual because I'm an older mom - we were married for 11 years before we had kids. I worked full time right up until my oldest was born.
I have NEVER missed work in the 5+ years I've been home. My husband is really supportive and helpful with the kids when he is home. Not every day is easy, but even on the worst ones, I'd rather be home with my kids than at a job wondering what my kids are doing
Just because I love it, doesn't translate into "everyone should do it my way." My oldest son's kindergarten teacher is a working mom and she's awesome and I'm so thankful for her!0 -
I love it! I stay at home and have since my kids were babies! They are 13 & 15 now.. I actually loved it so much.. I asked my kids about home schooling.. one said yes, the other said no.. so thats what we do!
I love getting up and cooking hot breakfast for both kids & hubby (breakfast is at 5am, and 6am - no reheats! Fresh meals both times) I love packing hubby a hot lunch for work and fixing my daughter a hot meal at home. I love having hot suppers and a hot snack for my daughter when she comes home from school.. I love having fresh laundry, and warm towels when showers are over for everyone.. I make fresh biscuits and bread daily and 90% of the time, everything is home made.
Ive been called the "ultimate 1950's wife and mother" and honestly, i wouldnt have it any other way. This *IS* my job and i am so damn blessed to actually have a job that i LOVE unlike the many other people that work simply for the paycheck.. my paycheck is a loving supportive family.0 -
I'm a SAHM. I don't envy my husband anymore for being able to "escape", however, while my son was going through the terrible twos, you bet I did. Honestly, I don't love it, and I don't hate it. I do love the fact that I get to be with the kiddo all the time, but it does get very boring, very quickly. That being said, I certainly don't miss holding down an office job.
I do know, however, that my husband is completely envious of me. If it was feasible financially (my husbands makes FAR more than I ever would), he would stay at home and I would work. His missed a few milestones, and I know he hates that.
I don't judge any other mother for her choice to stay at home or not. Every mother, or father, does what's best for THEIR family, and I have absolutely no business to judge their choices, even if they differ from mine. My husbands parents both worked and he went to daycare. He turned out great. My mother was a SAHM. I turned out great (contrary to popular belief). As long as a child is raised with love, be it by one parent, two parents, or a loving guardian, that child will turn out absolutely fine.0 -
I'm thrilled that we are in a position for my wife to stay at home (and has since 1999). She would say the same (most of the time).0
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I enjoy staying home. I have a small home daycare, so I do contribute money wise but I am still there if my kids need to be picked up from school early/have days off/are sick. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have a group of friends that I go out with a few times a month and then I go to the gym every night, so no I don't feel like I'm isolated or envious of my hubby. I do miss having a "normal" job, but if we had to put 3 kids in daycare, pay for gas weekly, my clothes, etc, I would probably be making less than what I do now. It's not for everyone but it has worked for us.0
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I am blessed ! I get all the kodak moments . I will have time to go back to work once my lil one hits 6 but for now......... I GET THE BEST PART OF THEM GROWING UP ! ! ! ! BEST MEMORIES ! !! ! ! And my husband appreciates it , which is a big plus. I have an 11, 10 , 9, 4 and almost 1 year old . all my childre are different and I'm glad I can stay home and teach and learn who they are before they grow up. Anyway , Im a stay at home mom and I know I will have my turn to work outside the home so Im cherrishing every moment of this !
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I work part time so it is a little different, but I never feel like my husband sees my non-monetary contributions to the household. I think he probably resents me being home. But he wouldn't admit it because it was an arrangement that we discussed and agreed upon together.
Karen0 -
I love it! I stay at home and have since my kids were babies! They are 13 & 15 now.. I actually loved it so much.. I asked my kids about home schooling.. one said yes, the other said no.. so thats what we do!
I love getting up and cooking hot breakfast for both kids & hubby (breakfast is at 5am, and 6am - no reheats! Fresh meals both times) I love packing hubby a hot lunch for work and fixing my daughter a hot meal at home. I love having hot suppers and a hot snack for my daughter when she comes home from school.. I love having fresh laundry, and warm towels when showers are over for everyone.. I make fresh biscuits and bread daily and 90% of the time, everything is home made.
Ive been called the "ultimate 1950's wife and mother" and honestly, i wouldnt have it any other way. This *IS* my job and i am so damn blessed to actually have a job that i LOVE unlike the many other people that work simply for the paycheck.. my paycheck is a loving supportive family.
You're awesome! I need to seriously step up my sahw game.0
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