How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?
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This statement is filled with so much ignorance it astounds me.I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though
) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
I work full time and have never experienced the job of being a SAHM although I am not so ignorant to think they would have enough time to add activities in their days. At least not the good moms:) The ones that *really* do their jobs is the ones that *pour* their attention onto their children and maintain their household. Prompts to all of the SAHM's out there!!
Really do their jobs? I am my child's mother, not his playmate. It is not my "job" to keep him entertained 24/7. The notion of constantly gving into your child's wants and demands is relatively new to parenting, and can be directly linked to why a lot of children are incredibly dependant and needy.
Oh, and my household is plenty maintained by 9 am. You said it yourself, you're not a SAHM, nor have you ever been. Do not make blanket generalizations about what it is to be a SAHM, and what constitutes a "good" or "bad" SAHM.0 -
I was a stay at home mom, and I kind of miss it at times.
I think because my husband is injured and stays at home that I resent him.
But with both kids in school, its not as bad. I try to schedule myself off weekends.0 -
Oh god, believe me, I've been there done that. It was called 18 months to about 32 months, and it was not fun. Every kid is different, and I know mine is not the norm. He definitely has days though where I'm lucky if I can get diddly squat done.
Mine is three.
Actually, I've picked up loads of new hobbies while being a SAHM. Granted, I have one child, and he's ridiculously independant, but still, it's inaccurate to assume that all SAHMs have no time for anything other than cleaning, cooking, and child rearing.I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
Do you even have kids? I'm not trying to sound rude but seriously who would be taking care of the kids and household while you are "taking advantage of new hobbies"?
How old is your "ridiculously independent" lil one? Mine is 3 and between dads 14 plus hour shifts and park time, teaching him about food, what little exercise i get and sleep there isn't much time for anything else at the moment. Maybe when he is better at taking care of himself and me not teaching him about life outside I might be able to work in a hobby with my household chores. I do read but its for like 10 mins til I pass out from exhaustion at night. haha
After reading several responses to what this girl posted, I'm starting to think I'm just lucky. It's not that I don't participate with him, it's that my child wants to do everything himself. When he plays outside, he wants to do so alone. I read a book and monitor him. When it's crafts time (fingerpaints, model dough, coloring, etc.), I give him the tools and he goes to town. I'm simply there for cleanup afterwards. When it's building time, I'm there to ensure he cleans up his mess. He simply loves doing things by himself, and he can do the same thing for hours on end.
*shrugs* All I'm saying is, not at SAHM are exhausted at the end of the day. I cook, I clean, I do daily household chores, and I raise my child to the best of my ability. And come 9 pm, I still have loads of energy to do whatever. And, I've been able to do numerous DIY projects, and have taught myself a number of new crafts, while being a stay at home parent.
now I am just jealous. mine would take those building blocks and throw them at the tv haha. or hes screaming at the top of his lungs about being outside unless i am out there with him. we read ALOT but there is only so many times i can read if you give a cat a cupcake.0 -
That's awesome, so great!!Mine is three.
After reading several responses to what this girl posted, I'm starting to think I'm just lucky. It's not that I don't participate with him, it's that my child wants to do everything himself. When he plays outside, he wants to do so alone. I read a book and monitor him. When it's crafts time (fingerpaints, model dough, coloring, etc.), I give him the tools and he goes to town. I'm simply there for cleanup afterwards. When it's building time, I'm there to ensure he cleans up his mess. He simply loves doing things by himself, and he can do the same thing for hours on end.
*shrugs* All I'm saying is, not at SAHM are exhausted at the end of the day. I cook, I clean, I do daily household chores, and I raise my child to the best of my ability. And come 9 pm, I still have loads of energy to do whatever. And, I've been able to do numerous DIY projects, and have taught myself a number of new crafts, while being a stay at home parent.
I think if all I had were my 3rd child, that's how it would have been for me.
Each child is different in personality:)0 -
I've lived both sides of this fence. Currently SAHM, but earning my degree to go back to work. I miss making money and feeling like I can take care of my own financially, but I will soooooooooooooooooo miss being here at home w/ the little one when I go back full time. I love staying at home with him. They are only this young once. Truly, if I were rich I'd adopt and never go back!0
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I work from home so after work I want to do anything BUT stay at home. I just want to go somewhere!0
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I'm a SAHM. I do not envy my husband for "escaping" every day. Our little boy is such a sweet happy little joy, there's nothing to escape from! I actually feel bad for my husband that he misses out on his sweet smile so much every day!
I love staying at home! That's what being a mom means. I am lucky enough to be in a family that financially allows me to stay at home. I know not every family has the luxury, so I am grateful we do. Sure, I could work full time, but why pay someone else to raise my kid for me? That's my job, I don't want anyone doing it for me!
My husband would never resent that I don't contribute to the family's income, because it's my job to do the shopping, stay on top of bills and keep the house clean and chores done. That's the plan we agreed on when we decided to try for a baby, and it's worked perfectly from day one.
Ideally, I'd want my husband to work from home so he could take breaks and have lunches with us, but I guess you can't have it all!
^This. I have been a SAHM for 6 years, we now have 2 kids, and even though it is the "toughest job I've ever loved," it is also the one I love the most. The things I see every day are beyond value. He likes getting out of the house every day, and our arrangement works just fine for us. We have one of the best marriages I personally know of, because we both have what we want.
Is it all wine and roses?? Absolutely not! We just relocated for his job - I have been isolated and lonely, he has been working crazy hours - it is definitely not perfect. But in the big picture, I still have to admit that I would not change a thing.0 -
I was (am) an LPN and loved my job. It was an adjustment to become a stay at home mom, but i wouldn't trade it for the world. My husband and I feel that its very important for a child to have someone home with them, even more so when they are young. Once she is in school, i will be heading back to school myself. I will ONLY work when she is in school. I'm a mom first! That is the most important thing. The more that she has the love of both of her parents, the less likely she will end up a topless dancer *fingers crossed*0
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I'm a stay-at-home dad, and I love it. Hard work, but super rewarding.0
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This statement is filled with so much ignorance it astounds me.I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
I work full time and have never experienced the job of being a SAHM although I am not so ignorant to think they would have enough time to add activities in their days. At least not the good moms:) The ones that *really* do their jobs is the ones that *pour* their attention onto their children and maintain their household. Prompts to all of the SAHM's out there!!
Really do their jobs? I am my child's mother, not his playmate. It is not my "job" to keep him entertained 24/7. The notion of constantly gving into your child's wants and demands is relatively new to parenting, and can be directly linked to why a lot of children are incredibly dependant and needy.
Oh, and my household is plenty maintained by 9 am. You said it yourself, you're not a SAHM, nor have you ever been. Do not make blanket generalizations about what it is to be a SAHM, and what constitutes a "good" or "bad" SAHM.
Never called anyone a bad SAHM, actually said prompts to all SAHM's. To each their own. All I could say is if I had the opportunity to stay at home w/ my children I wouldn't ignore them. I do not give my children all of their WANTS I give them their NEEDS which is love, guidance and attention. What is the point in being a SAHM when you really are filling the role of a babysitter? *** THIS IS NOT DIRECTED TO OTHER SAHM'S-I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HARD WORKERS AND RESPECT THOSE WHO SAHM TO RAISE THEIR CHILDREN0 -
I was, I am and proud of it. It has worked for our family. I still have a business that I own and run from home but honestly I make my hours and work around my family's schedule. If you can do it and have the encouragement and support of your partner and the inclination to be at home with your children then go for it!0
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*grabs popcorn*
This is gonna get good0 -
Like. There isn't a like button!0
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You are not even worth my time.
This statement is filled with so much ignorance it astounds me.I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
I work full time and have never experienced the job of being a SAHM although I am not so ignorant to think they would have enough time to add activities in their days. At least not the good moms:) The ones that *really* do their jobs is the ones that *pour* their attention onto their children and maintain their household. Prompts to all of the SAHM's out there!!
Really do their jobs? I am my child's mother, not his playmate. It is not my "job" to keep him entertained 24/7. The notion of constantly gving into your child's wants and demands is relatively new to parenting, and can be directly linked to why a lot of children are incredibly dependant and needy.
Oh, and my household is plenty maintained by 9 am. You said it yourself, you're not a SAHM, nor have you ever been. Do not make blanket generalizations about what it is to be a SAHM, and what constitutes a "good" or "bad" SAHM.
Never called anyone a bad SAHM, actually said prompts to all SAHM's. To each their own. All I could say is if I had the opportunity to stay at home w/ my children I wouldn't ignore them. I do not give my children all of their WANTS I give them their NEEDS which is love, guidance and attention. What is the point in being a SAHM when you really are filling the role of a babysitter? *** THIS IS NOT DIRECTED TO OTHER SAHM'S-I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HARD WORKERS AND RESPECT THOSE WHO SAHM TO RAISE THEIR CHILDREN
So sorry to disappoint all those looking for a war of the words, but I'm not even going to stoop to such a level.
Oh, and it's "props", not "prompts".0 -
I personally couldn't do it. I need to be occupied through the day otherwise I get bored, and depressed.0
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Mine is three.
Actually, I've picked up loads of new hobbies while being a SAHM. Granted, I have one child, and he's ridiculously independant, but still, it's inaccurate to assume that all SAHMs have no time for anything other than cleaning, cooking, and child rearing.I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
Do you even have kids? I'm not trying to sound rude but seriously who would be taking care of the kids and household while you are "taking advantage of new hobbies"?
How old is your "ridiculously independent" lil one? Mine is 3 and between dads 14 plus hour shifts and park time, teaching him about food, what little exercise i get and sleep there isn't much time for anything else at the moment. Maybe when he is better at taking care of himself and me not teaching him about life outside I might be able to work in a hobby with my household chores. I do read but its for like 10 mins til I pass out from exhaustion at night. haha
After reading several responses to what this girl posted, I'm starting to think I'm just lucky. It's not that I don't participate with him, it's that my child wants to do everything himself. When he plays outside, he wants to do so alone. I read a book and monitor him. When it's crafts time (fingerpaints, model dough, coloring, etc.), I give him the tools and he goes to town. I'm simply there for cleanup afterwards. When it's building time, I'm there to ensure he cleans up his mess. He simply loves doing things by himself, and he can do the same thing for hours on end.
*shrugs* All I'm saying is, not at SAHM are exhausted at the end of the day. I cook, I clean, I do daily household chores, and I raise my child to the best of my ability. And come 9 pm, I still have loads of energy to do whatever. And, I've been able to do
numerous DIY projects, and have taught myself a number of new crafts, while being a stay at home parent.
Wow..I'm glad you don't run a daycare. I couldn't imagine letting a 3 year old go off to play by himself. Or be ""creative" by himself. How can a THREE year old "simply love being alone" ?
Wow....it's no wonder you still have "loads" of energy...sounds like you don't do much...just going by what you wrote.0 -
I stayed home with my kids till my youngest was in grade two. I loved being with them but when they left for school I went back to school too.
I haven't noticed anyone posting about the thing I hated about being a SAHM....that was the way others treated me. My husband had a management position and it required that we attend dinners or parties from time to time. These were HELL for me. People just looked over me as if I wasn't there. I started law school the year DD was in grade two and three months later when we hit the round of Christmas functions my social value had gone up exponentially. People sought me out. I am pretty sure that I was no brighter or socially adept than I'd been the year before but what a difference.0 -
I am a SAHM with 3, ages 8, 6 and 2. I worked until 3 months before the youngest was born, and was offered a buyout to take a permanent layoff. I cannot thank all the forces at work in this amazing "gift" enough! I'm still stunned daily by the things I missed with my two oldest, but being home for every crazy-beautiful moment with the youngest, and for the new experiences now with the older two has been my dream come true! My DH and I are separated for the last two years, working things out slowly so we're what we need to be, and I don't think it would be possible were I still working full time. I love it, I spend time volunteering at church and school in their classrooms, I coach their soccer teams, I am the mom that has a yard full of kids after school and weekends and actually watches them do cool things with their friends. I don't just TELL them they are my most important priority, I SHOW them.
And no, while I might miss having MONEY or getting to make those little splurges I used to when I was selling my soul daily, I don't miss it enough to give my real life up and go back before it's time. I do get "touched out" occasionally, but that's why bedtime happens at the same time each night- I just have to make it there, and it's recharge time.
Everyone values different things, and in different ways. For me, there is not much to envy if the tradeoff is missing the short time there is with my favorite people on Earth before they grow up and go their own independent ways.
I don't condemn at all those who choose or have to work, as I was one of them, and will be again, but if the winning lottery ticket were mine, I'd do this until the littlest graduated! 0 -
I stayed home with my kids till my youngest was in grade two. I loved being with them but when they left for school I went back to school too.
I haven't noticed anyone posting about the thing I hated about being a SAHM....that was the way others treated me. My husband had a management position and it required that we attend dinners or parties from time to time. These were HELL for me. People just looked over me as if I wasn't there. I started law school the year DD was in grade two and three months later when we hit the round of Christmas functions my social value had gone up exponentially. People sought me out. I am pretty sure that I was no brighter or socially adept than I'd been the year before but what a difference.
SAHM's definitely do not get the respect that they deserve; I would have befriended you during those dinners!0 -
Im a SAHM of 4. 7,5,4 and 1. I absolutely love being with my kids. Wouldnt change it for the world. Although...being at home for the last 7 yrs I think made me develope some sort of social anxiety.
But I do enjoy it. I may complain about stress and that I need a break...(because I havent had one in years...Last time I went out was mine and hubbys 2 night honeymoon almost 4 years ago) But when I say I need a break....Ill be more than happy to just even go out for a coffee.0
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