How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?
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Actually, I've picked up loads of new hobbies while being a SAHM. Granted, I have one child, and he's ridiculously independant, but still, it's inaccurate to assume that all SAHMs have no time for anything other than cleaning, cooking, and child rearing.I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though
) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
Do you even have kids? I'm not trying to sound rude but seriously who would be taking care of the kids and household while you are "taking advantage of new hobbies"?0 -
I'm going to be a SAHM for about 6 months after my son is born. The first 3 months are paid, but the last 3 are "work at home months." I'm looking forward to it, but I know it's going to be hard and a big adjustment.0
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I used to be a single mother for 3-4 years working non-stop and all that jazz.
I got remarried and I was able to stay at home for the last 4 years with my son.
I am grateful for the time I have got to spend with my littlest one but as for ever doing it again.....
No F**king way!!! I love my kids but I loved my sanity more. And I have been hit with guilt about money whenever I want to go out and shop. We share all finances and my husband has told me not to feel guilty because of all the mom stuff I do that makes up for it.....blah, blah, blah,.
When you are used to being the only breadwinner, it is very hard to swallow when you no longer bring in any income at all. I still do everything I did before I got remarried but some of us women were just not made to be at home. I am much happier when I am productive outside the home.0 -
I am a SAHM, and I am so thankful to have the ability to do so. My DH works third shift and some crazy hours at that, so not having a job outside the home definitely helps with us having family time and alone time together. I love the time with DS, not so much all the cooking and cleaning that goes alone with it, but I am definitely getting better! And DH is very appreciative of what I do, which definitely helps on the rough days when DS is acting crazy.0
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I wasn't a SAHP, but I stayed home to do "home stuff" for about 6 months. Worst thankless 6 months of my life. I LOVE having a job. Staying at home is hell if you ask me.0
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My situation is little unique. I was a SAHM for the first 2 years on my daughter's life and loved it. Then I became a mix out of SAHM/WAHM/WOHM. I'm self-employed and whenever I have clients (which really can wary from month to month), I turn into WAHM/WOHM. I enjoyed the first two years but now I would really like to work. I think I would be a better mom being WOHM. I need the interaction with people, not just playdates with other moms, but in a professional manner. Being SAHM/WAHM/WOHM and a student has really drained me so I'll be at home only until my daughter goes to school next year.
Yes, sometimes I do envy my husband for working OOH but I am the one who gets so many memories with our DD that he doesn't. There are pros/cons to both I guess.0 -
My wife and I are both self employed and work from home most of the time so we actually were both SAHP and I wouldn't have changed it for anything.0
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I loved it!!! I would do it again! My three kids are all in sports and when I was at home they were able to do other activities as well.0
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I am a stay at home dad... And... I love it........2 wonderful children. They keep me quite busy...0
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I never got the chance to when I was raising my boys, now grown men 28. and 27. I have adopted 2 girls one is now 6 and the other one is 3 I have been staying home for almost 2 years with the youngest, She had a lot of issues when we got her and to help her adjust I started staying home. I LOVE it, I love being able to be here with her and give her the balance she needs right ow and she is SO much company, I also like the freedom of being able to pick my 6 years old up from school and to have a schedule I can bounce around to spend time with the girls. I also have 4 grandkids, 2 I keep every day for half of each day, the other two I keep when their parents need me to. However.....I do miss my ME time, time with adults and talking with adults, my independence and my own money. Even though I monogram, sew and make hairbows and other little girl items I find it very hard to put the time into it that I need to. I guess with everything positive we have to sacrafice something.0
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I dont have kids, I'm only 18, but I dont think I would ever be able to be a stay at home mom. It would be nice if I had a husband who could financially support me and my future children, but I think I would still want to work, at least a few days a week. I would want time to be around other adults and just get away for awhile.
No disrespect to stay at home moms or dads, if you can afford to not work then good for you. It just wouldnt be for me0 -
I'm a SAHM, I have been for 12 years. I love it, it gets lonely at time's, especially now that my children are all at school, but I am glad that I have been able to be a full time parent. I study now and I have been looking for a night job as well to help contribute to the household income a bit more, though I have dabbled in freelance graphic design and art for about 10 years or so but my main concern is still my children.
Sometimes the money can be an issue, but I cook and clean and look after everyone when they are sick, deal with the finances, make sure we have everything we need. I run the house. My husband helps out sometimes but his job is to be the working parent and that's what he excels at and loves. He wouldn't dare resent me for not bringing in a wage because I do so much that just wouldn't get done if we both worked fulltime.
Working or staying home both have their pro's and con's, if it's not a fiscal choice then it's personal. I have a wonderful job as a full time mum but it's not for everyone.0 -
I'm a SAHM to a 5 and almost 3 year old. I've been sahm for almost 4 years now. It was a rough adjustment at first, went from being in school and working, to not doing either of those. I am grateful that we are financially sound enough to afford it. Sometimes I envy my husband just because he gets to go out and be alone or with other people, even if it is only for work. lol. I do get out alone occasionally, but not usually for other reasons than to grocery shop (which I take my sweet time). Some days I feel like i'll go insane, but its great! I do hope to go back to school and have a career or maybe work part-time eventually.0
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I worked for many years and then decided on a break once he was born-don't regret it either.....0
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For me, it truly depends on the day. I'm currently a stay at home mom. Sometimes I love it, some days I don't. Some days I'm incredibly jealous that my husband gets to leave for the day, but then again, there's days when I wouldn't trade it for the world. I think I'm probably not the only one that feels this way!0
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I do think it is "easier" to work.You can just talk freely or use the following questions to guide you! Thanks for sharing your perspective!
If you're the SAHP (stay at home parent) ...are your envious that your spouse gets to "escape" ...even if it is for work?
Do you like staying at home?
If you're the off-to-work parent...are you resentful that your spouse stays at home? Do you care that your spouse isn't contributing to the household income?
What would the ideal arrangement look like for you?
IMO stay-at-home parent is the hardest job, brings the toughest people to their knees.
I do like to stay at home, because I am busy cultivating my children. For me toddlerhood is the HARDEST part. When it gets past that time, IMO, it's all fun. My children all have amazing wonderful attitudes. Really.
Ideal arrangement? I really, really wish I had interactive, helpful, extended family. Oh well. One day, I will lol!0 -
I worked for large corporations from the time my daughter was six months old until she was 10. At that time I became self employed and worked from home which was great; I was there when the kids got home from school, there for school holiday, there when they were ill, etc.
I'm still self employed and can work from wherever I have my laptop and the Internet which means I'm now available for grand kids as well. I'm moving interstate tomorrow to spend two weeks with family and care for my granddaughter while her parents are away. I just take my office with me.0 -
Thanks for bringing up this topic! Great topic! First, I would like to say that I Love being a sahm! I have been home for over 5 years now, and I love being home with my daughter. Watching her grow has been the best experience I have ever had in my life. I can't even imagine having to miss out on anything my daughter does. I would have to say that staying at home isn't for everyone, but it is so worth it! Thankfully, my hubby makes a decent salary, so I am able to stay home. The thought of having to drop my daughter off at daycare everyday makes me want to cry. My cousin owns a daycare, and I went to check it out. I was practically in tears seeing the babies being fed by the workers. I really feel that children need their mothers/fathers. Of couse, that is just my personal feelings. Again, I don't frown upon people that decide to go back to work after having a baby. My friend was paying 2200.00 dollars a months for her 2 children to be in daycare for 5 years. That would be the day that I would have a stranger watch my baby girl, and have to pay a huge amount of money. So, with that said........BEING A SAHM, HAS BEEN THE MOST REWARDING JOB OF MY LIFE! Believe me, it has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!!!!!!!!!0
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I'm a SAHM - aside from college, I've been home with my kids all their lives. I homeschool them now (14 and 10 yo) and just recently have I been feeling an urge to get back to the working world. I've never wanted anyone else to raise my children so we've sacrificed wherever we've needed to in order to see to it that one of their parents was always available to them. I don't regret our decision for me to stay home but at times, more often than not lately, I get lonely. I envy my husband for being able to go to work and have adult conversation...but truth be told, he hates his job and at times I think he'd rather switch roles with me. Eventually I plan to go back to school and get into career mode...but life is so short so I'm just enjoying the time I have with them now. Before too long, they'll both be gone doing their own things and I'll be wishing they were coming home for the weekends.0
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I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
I can see why you would think this. I mean after all every stay at home parent I know complains about how underworked they are. They are only running a household, taking care of children which always understand the need for mommy to go practice the tuba, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, and on and on and on. And getting up the next day to do it all over again. Plus on top of that some of the stay at homes also educate their children. So yes we SAHM should definitely pick some more hobbies to do.:huh:
(By the way, I do play piano and flute,do creative writing, and exercise and many other things, but I have to find time to do things like that after the children are asleep, not during all my "free time" during the day.)
In answer to the OP, I am a SAHM. I also educate my children. I am thankful that I am the one who gets to mold their character and their minds. My husband and I agreed from the very beginning that I would be the one staying home to take care of any children that God gave to us. I wouldn't trade it for the world! There are absolutely crazy moments and sometimes crazy days, but I know that this is what is best for them. My husband works from home right now, but before he would often comment about how he loved coming home to us and having everyone greet him cheerfully and have supper ready as soon as he was. He is thankful that I am home so it makes his job easier. Then instead of us all running around like crazy in the evening we can just enjoy some family time.0 -
I'm a stay at home mom/ homeschooling mom and I love it. Not jealous of my husband going off to work because I get my escapes to the my zumba class, window shopping, lunch with friends, etc. Wouldn't trade it for the world. :-)0
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I am envious of my wife. She is there to see everything the kids do, while I am stuck working for Bossholes, and *kitten* co workers. I know her job is not easy but I rather spend my time with the kids then with some of the people I' have had to work with.0
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Thanks for bringing up this topic! Great topic! First, I would like to say that I Love being a sahm! I have been home for over 5 years now, and I love being home with my daughter. Watching her grow has been the best experience I have ever had in my life. I can't even imagine having to miss out on anything my daughter does. I would have to say that staying at home isn't for everyone, but it is so worth it! Thankfully, my hubby makes a decent salary, so I am able to stay home. The thought of having to drop my daughter off at daycare everyday makes me want to cry. My cousin owns a daycare, and I went to check it out. I was practically in tears seeing the babies being fed by the workers. I really feel that children need their mothers/fathers. Of couse, that is just my personal feelings. Again, I don't frown upon people that decide to go back to work after having a baby. My friend was paying 2200.00 dollars a months for her 2 children to be in daycare for 5 years. That would be the day that I would have a stranger watch my baby girl, and have to pay a huge amount of money. So, with that said........BEING A SAHM, HAS BEEN THE MOST REWARDING JOB OF MY LIFE! Believe me, it has its ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!!!!!!!!!!!
This is what I wanted to say!!0 -
I love being a stay at home mom!!! plus I also stay home to take care of my dad0
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I am a SAHM to 5 (three that I inherited, two that we had together) and have been for over 12 years. I can honestly tell you that the first time I could even contemplate any free time was this past August when the littlest Miller started Kindergarten. Personally, I have loved every second of my time with the kids, but I can tell you that the choices I made in their best interest were frequently contradictory to my best interests. Which brings me to how I ended up here with 60 pounds to shed, though that is a topic for a different thread. But, no refunds, no exchanges. No regrets whatsoever! 0
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p.s. Yes, I also have creative hobbies that keep my mind going. Took some online classes as well, cooking classes, sewing classes, art classes, etc. Guess most moms don't "brag" about that. haha :-D0
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I love being an at-home mom. I am a writer, so I have always worked from home. Best of both worlds.
I don't consider my husband's job as his "escape" and neither does he. He actually wishes he could be home more often.0 -
I dont have kids, I'm only 18, but I dont think I would ever be able to be a stay at home mom. It would be nice if I had a husband who could financially support me and my future children, but I think I would still want to work, at least a few days a week. I would want time to be around other adults and just get away for awhile.
No disrespect to stay at home moms or dads, if you can afford to not work then good for you. It just wouldnt be for me
I have no kids but I have no idea what will be right for my family--it's something to think about but not necessarily something you can "plan" until you know your circumstances.0 -
I feel that Stay-At-Homes should take advantage of the fact that they're home & get involved with new hobbies, learn an instrument, write a book, exercise, dance, learn to draw or paint, etc. They have a lot of time to cultivate some wonderful skills & activities that can make them truly happy, & I feel like they don't take advantage of that as much as they should (or at least, you don't hear about it).
If I became a SAHM (never will, though ) I would DEFINITELY be spending all of that time fulfilling intrinsic motives in my life! I do that now, but I would have much more time for it all as an SAHM.
I'm trying to figure out if you are joking or if you are serious. I pretty sure you'll find few SAHP who make this a reality. Personally, I spend/t my days cleaning, cooking, wiping noses and booties, teaching, meeting other mamas to talk about kids and let kids play, drinking coffee so that I can last until my husband comes home, etc......My short breaks are watching the news, FB/MFP here or there when DD is occupied by herself for few min. Learning instruments? Writing books? Yeah...not in this world lol Paining and drawing, YES. This includes flowers, shapes, and stick people :laugh:0 -
I'm a SAHM.
What can I say? While I love my children dearly, I can't help but feel somewhat envious of my spouse. He goes to the office, talks & plays with the big kids, travels, makes million dollar decisions. I miss it!
But would I want to feel the rush of dropping my kids at daycare before school, picking them up after school, trying to get dinner ready while getting homework done, baths... oh yeah and extra curricular activities? Hell-no! We are in a fortunate position that I don't have to work.
But my heart and brain misses it.0
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