How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?
Replies
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I am a "stay at home" mom, but I also work full time from home.
It's tiring doing both at the same time, but I have been able to be with her for the 1st 3 years of her life and I wouldn't have changed anything for the world!
Now that she is 3, we are looking at preschools so I'll be alone again.
I look forward to the weekend when I can get out to go shopping, but I am not envious of my sweetie for working out of the house. Each has their drawbacks.0 -
I tried and I hated it. I was bored and couldn't wait to get out of the house for any reason. SO loves it and hates to go to work. He's better at it so it works for us for me to work and him to stay home.0
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Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.
I'm curious as to how you were raised. Did both your parents work? Or was your mother or father a stay at home parent?0 -
I think being a stay at home parent is the most wonderful thing a parent can do but it isn't for everyone. We have these little people that we love so much and then we go out and pay other people to raise them...it's kinda sad IMO. I personally can't stay home due to financial reasons but I would if I could. I personally found that it is much harder to stay home than to go to work. I stayed home for 6 months after I had my DH and I thought I was going to lose my mind. I wish I had the temperment for it. It is the toughest job and I have nothing but respect for the parents out there that do it and do it well.0
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Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.
What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.
No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.
"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.
If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.0 -
Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.
What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.
No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.
"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.
If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.
and taking care of your children is lazy? In what world? It sounds like you might have some unresolved issues but I won't probe.0 -
If it works in your family, then great. If it doesn't, then great. There are different kinds of families and none of them are wrong as long as the people in them are all content.0
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Both my parents worked. I was placed in 3 yr old kindergarden, and before that I was passed around between grandparents. I grew up thinking that being a housewife was just lazy and a way to get out of working. I think it's stupid to allow one person to bear the financial burden of a family when one of the family member (the wife) is fully capable of going to work. There are lots of jobs (you need an education) that have daycares at a very reduced rate (less if you work it out to volunteer there). There is no excuse for someone to stay home all day long. Especially if the kids are in school. What exactly do you do for 6 to 8 hours? I highly doubt you are cleaning or doing other wifely duties for that long.0
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Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.
What?!?! That makes no sense to me. I haven't brought home the paycheck in years and I have never once felt like my life was being dictated or loosing control of my life. I have plenty of say in how things go. We are a team, not out to get each other because once of us makes money.
No, you aren't a team. One person makes the money, the other does not.
"Making the money" is not everything there is in life. I "make the money" and hubby takes care of the kiddos. Hence, it's a team effort. Your statement makes you sound selfish and greedy.
If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.
There is NOTHING lazy about being a stay at home parent. For as smart and enlightened as you think you are that is a damned ignorant statement.0 -
It makes me quite sad that someone would honestly believe that someone's entire worth is based on them having a PAYING job. What does a paycheck have to do with being lazy or ambitious? What if you spend your time volunteering? What if you have a special needs child? What if you have multiple children and daycare means that your net pay is rather trivial compared to the time you're spending away from your children? There's more to life than how much money you make.0
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Both my parents worked. I was placed in 3 yr old kindergarden, and before that I was passed around between grandparents. I grew up thinking that being a housewife was just lazy and a way to get out of working. I think it's stupid to allow one person to bear the financial burden of a family when one of the family member (the wife) is fully capable of going to work. There are lots of jobs (you need an education) that have daycares at a very reduced rate (less if you work it out to volunteer there). There is no excuse for someone to stay home all day long. Especially if the kids are in school. What exactly do you do for 6 to 8 hours? I highly doubt you are cleaning or doing other wifely duties for that long.
Passed around between grandparents--I don't envy you. and why do you assume THE WIFE is the stay at home parent? If you're in a loving and committed relationship why would you think 1) you have no say without contributing financially and 2) that you need NO ONE to take care of you and your kids. When you get married and decide to have children you are supposed to love your children and spouse more than you love your paycheck--I think it's assumed that you would take care of them and they would do the same. Period. That's what love is. You decide as a unit whether one parent should stay at home. I'd rather have a parent at home than passing my child around--assuming it can be accommodated financially.0 -
No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.0
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No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
Okay, enough. We get it. You think SAHM are lazy bums, but you don't have your own kids. You've made your point time and time and time again over and over and over again. Why do you feel like you have the right to bash other people's choices in how they run their family when you don't even have one of your own?0 -
Well I certainly hope your life goes 100% to plan. And that you never find yourself out of work or in need of help.
And I REALLY hope should you ever find a partner that THEY never lose their job. I can't imagine what you would put them through.....0 -
If the rider of the bike in the above picture put a hitch on the back of the bike, they they would find they could cut out the middle person (my guess is you are trying to insert housewife). I'm not greedy, I just hate lazy people.
Someone could just as easily say that it is lazy, irresponsible, and selfish to have children just to let someone else care for them and pretty much raise them while you are out doing your own thing for 8-10 hrs a day. Just so that you can have time away from your children/chase your own dreams/afford more "things"?
No, *I* would never say that--as I previously mentioned, I have the best of both worlds. I hold no judgment for either side. I'm just saying that for every judgmental point, there is an equally judgmental counterpoint.0 -
No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
i'm not crazy about anyone who chooses to believe that a partnership is based on how much money you bring to the table.0 -
I work full time, and have for quite a while. I would love nothing more then to become a stay at home Mom. I don't know that that will ever happen, but if it did, I would raise my child and write children's books.0
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oh found it...I just don't see how it's possible these days. Even if you have a good job, having both parents work is added security in case the "bread winner" loses his (or her) job. I'm not a parent (nor will I ever be), but I would never even consider being a stay at home mom. I enjoy adult interaction way too much to focus my entire life and attention on kids.
There is hope--at least she doesn't plan to have children.0 -
I am not a parent and dont ever see myself being one. Ive been married, ive done it and its not for me and kids are not in the cards so I cant speak from personal experience but my brother and his wife decided she would be a stay at home mom and it has worked out great for them...seeing it first hand, I think it works out better for the kids to have a parent stay at home.0
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Being a stay at home mom is the hardest job that I've ever had. I used to be a stocker in a distribution center where I was expected to cut and stock 200 50lb cases an hour. It was grueling. I would still take that job back in a heartbeat if I could get a job that paid enough where my husband could stay home with our daughter instead.
For some personality types it may be great, but, to me it is one of the most frustrating things I've ever done.
Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter, but I love her more when not every single minute of every day I'm following her path of destruction. Then my husband comes home and acts like I haven't done anything all day. Most days it makes me want to cry, just the utter lack of appreciation. He couldn't handle that stocking job I had, he started working there too and quit. He could never handle our daughter day in and day out, but, wow, would I ever love to let him try.0 -
I've been a SAHM for 3 1/2 years, there are days when I'm ready to pull my hair out, but there are other days when I feel really lucky to be able to stay at home with my daughter. As far as being envious...HELL YES. My husband only gets glimpses of some of the issues I deal with during the evenings and weekends. My daughter is 4 1/2 so we are in the "testing my boundaires and pushing Mommy's buttons" stage.
It's definitely not for everyone. And there's nothing wrong with that.0 -
i stayed at home till our daughter was 6mths old, then went back to work 3 days a week, Now I work full time as does my husband.
3 days a week was great and I'd love to go back to that but financially I have to work full time. I couldn't be a SAHP 7 days a week, I'd go insane.0 -
I'd love to work part time...2 days one week, 3 days the next. I'm fortunate in where I live and the type of job I have I could do it...I just can't afford to make 50% of my wages! It's a dream of mine to do it...and I've done both the SAHM and worked when my 2nd was 19mos.0
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This is not intended for the OP but at some of the comments...
Why do people assume that Stay at home parents are trapped inside??
As mentioned in my other post, im a stay at home parent, and at that, im like a total 1950's betty crocker wife and mother.. seriously.
I also home school one of my daughters. (the other chose school.. i just missed having the kids here, and asked if anyone wanted to be home schooled!) they are 13 & 15 years old.
We do field trips, outings, learn new things. We build things, exercise together daily. We pick something and study on it for a week, write about it, we try to find it in the wild (be it a bird, or a tree...) we take pictures of it, then edit the picture (art) We go to walmart and buy some cloth and a frame, some paint or other materials and frame it... WE HAVE FUN above everything else, but we are NOT stuck inside! lol (and never were when they were little either!
If you take your kids out, and take them out often.. then they learn how to act!
Anyhoo, thats my two cents on that.
lol 0 -
I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it.0
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No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
LOl - you really do not know much about how the real world works do you?0 -
I'm currently a partial SAHM because once winter sports season picks up I will be back out doing games, but during the day, it is really challenging. I miss being able to talk to people and not saying that I am resentful towards my spouse but rather kinda envious because he gets out I don't. I have been looking for a full time job and just haven't heard back. I also go to school because we have no daycare that will take him (around here the daycares are either too expensive, or they wanted him to be 18 months before they would take him I know I called and asked), he has no grandparents or family that could watch him either. Until my 9 month old gets older, I will probably be stuck at home or a job offer comes through that pays more then what I make now.
Side note, my mom was a sahm and i think it made her depressed and anxious, and I don't want for my son to have a mom like that.0 -
No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
LOl - you really do not know much about how the real world works do you?
seriously
ONE! ONE deranged soul! AH HA AH HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!0 -
Have you raised teenagers yet? In my experience, they are a lot like toddlers. Only bigger.I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it.
:laugh: 0 -
I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it.
You know.. now that my daughter is in Kindergarten I actually wish MORE that I could stay home with them. Because there are activities, field trips, I wish that I could help in her classes. Everytime I miss something I get sad. I want so badly to be more active. And in todays working world it's not as easily done.
And it's only going to get more as they get older.0
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