How do you feel about stay-at-home parents?

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  • anewnam715
    anewnam715 Posts: 17
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    I've been a SAHM for 3 1/2 years, there are days when I'm ready to pull my hair out, but there are other days when I feel really lucky to be able to stay at home with my daughter. As far as being envious...HELL YES. My husband only gets glimpses of some of the issues I deal with during the evenings and weekends. My daughter is 4 1/2 so we are in the "testing my boundaires and pushing Mommy's buttons" stage.

    It's definitely not for everyone. And there's nothing wrong with that.
  • manda1978
    manda1978 Posts: 525 Member
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    i stayed at home till our daughter was 6mths old, then went back to work 3 days a week, Now I work full time as does my husband.

    3 days a week was great and I'd love to go back to that but financially I have to work full time. I couldn't be a SAHP 7 days a week, I'd go insane.
  • AnahitaCanDoIt
    AnahitaCanDoIt Posts: 448
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    I'd love to work part time...2 days one week, 3 days the next. I'm fortunate in where I live and the type of job I have I could do it...I just can't afford to make 50% of my wages! It's a dream of mine to do it...and I've done both the SAHM and worked when my 2nd was 19mos.
  • Heather_Rider
    Heather_Rider Posts: 1,159 Member
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    This is not intended for the OP but at some of the comments...

    Why do people assume that Stay at home parents are trapped inside??

    As mentioned in my other post, im a stay at home parent, and at that, im like a total 1950's betty crocker wife and mother.. seriously.

    I also home school one of my daughters. (the other chose school.. i just missed having the kids here, and asked if anyone wanted to be home schooled!) they are 13 & 15 years old.

    We do field trips, outings, learn new things. We build things, exercise together daily. We pick something and study on it for a week, write about it, we try to find it in the wild (be it a bird, or a tree...) we take pictures of it, then edit the picture (art) We go to walmart and buy some cloth and a frame, some paint or other materials and frame it... WE HAVE FUN above everything else, but we are NOT stuck inside! lol (and never were when they were little either!

    If you take your kids out, and take them out often.. then they learn how to act!

    Anyhoo, thats my two cents on that. =) lol
  • LelliAmi
    LelliAmi Posts: 327 Member
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    I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

    LOl - you really do not know much about how the real world works do you?
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I'm currently a partial SAHM because once winter sports season picks up I will be back out doing games, but during the day, it is really challenging. I miss being able to talk to people and not saying that I am resentful towards my spouse but rather kinda envious because he gets out I don't. I have been looking for a full time job and just haven't heard back. I also go to school because we have no daycare that will take him (around here the daycares are either too expensive, or they wanted him to be 18 months before they would take him I know I called and asked), he has no grandparents or family that could watch him either. Until my 9 month old gets older, I will probably be stuck at home or a job offer comes through that pays more then what I make now.

    Side note, my mom was a sahm and i think it made her depressed and anxious, and I don't want for my son to have a mom like that.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

    LOl - you really do not know much about how the real world works do you?

    seriously
    ONE! ONE deranged soul! AH HA AH HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it.
    Have you raised teenagers yet? In my experience, they are a lot like toddlers. Only bigger. :wink: :laugh:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I think that it's fine if one of the parents stays home while their kids are little, but I hate when parents still do it when their kids are teenagers. It's like they're using parental responsibilities as an excuse not to get a job. Teenagers are pretty independent and don't usually need much supervision, so there's nothing keeping you at home 24/7 other than yourself. With younger kids, it's understandable. But most families need 2 incomes nowadays just to pay the bills and everything. Even part-time work is better than nothing. I'm not trying to offend any stay-at-home parents out there, so if I do then I apologize. That's just how I see it.

    You know.. now that my daughter is in Kindergarten I actually wish MORE that I could stay home with them. Because there are activities, field trips, I wish that I could help in her classes. Everytime I miss something I get sad. I want so badly to be more active. And in todays working world it's not as easily done.
    And it's only going to get more as they get older.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    Played that gig the last 8 years of my life, am happy to have a part time job. Going back to work was my choice. My husband makes decent money, I only work part time to get me out of the house but yet still gives me time with the kids. I like that I have friends now, and I feel like my life isn't all about the kids all the time. I need me time or else I will go back down the slippery slope of being depressed and over weight again.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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    I think it's stupid to allow one person to bear the financial burden of a family when one of the family member (the wife) is fully capable of going to work.

    :huh:
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.

    Ouch! Really? Being a sahm is more of a commitment than it is anything else, just like a teacher, it takes a special person to stay home with kids all day long with no end in sight. Sick days, what the hell is that? Even a part time working mom here, I am sick I called in sick all week this week because I can barely get out of bed, this is the first day I've been able to sit up and not feel like passing out. Thank God for my mother and my husband, because I have no idea how my kids would have survived this week. But like always I'm sure I would have managed one way or another. People like you think being a SAHM we sit on our *kitten* all day behind the computer and our kids do everything for themselves, the house cleans it self, and we are nothing but a bunch of lazy sob's. I pray you never have to find out how hard it really is. You have no idea. You can't speak on something you never have known, you can cast a judgment on something you don't know which you have.
  • opus649
    opus649 Posts: 633 Member
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  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    No, not trolling, actually saying how I feel about stay at home moms. I'm not crazy about anyone who chooses not to work and to rely on someone else to take care of them.
    I cooked, baked, did laundry, wiped noses, cleaned the house, and all the accessory tasks that went along with that.
    I also prepared for the coming holiday, did grocery shopping, and an endless number of tasks I just forgot to mention.
    WHO is taking care of whom?
  • stephross88
    stephross88 Posts: 846 Member
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    I am a stay at home mom. My fiance makes enough money to support our little family and I take care of the home and our son while he works. I am old fashioned like that. I have worked before and enjoy it, but when both parents work it really leaves very little family time in my opinion. My fiance also believes that I shouldn't have to work if it isn't a necessity. I do babysit several times per month so I bring in a little cash. I just like it better this way:)
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
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  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    Another reason why I would not become a "stay at home mom" is because I don't want to rely on ANYONE to take care of me (and the kids). By allowing one spouse to work while the other "takes care of the kiddos and the house" you are allowing them (the one bringing home a paycheck) to dictate how you live your life. You might stay on top of the bills, ect, but if you are not bringing home the money, you dont' have a lot of say. You lose control of your own life if you allow someone else to take care of you. Contributing to the household (to me) includes getting a paycheck.
    If I "don't have a lot of say" because I don't get a paycheck then it's time for a divorce--that's not a partnership in my opinion. It's greed.
    No doubt! Anyone with such a one-sided marriage has NO business being married. It is a recipe for disaster.

    Both of you are in for a pleasant surprise.
    Stay at home moms make AWESOME homelives for the whole family.
    It is LOVELY to have such an arrangement.
    I hope you, too, get to take part in a family where the mother is home caring for everyone.
    It is not the ONLY model for a lovely home, but it is a great one!
    You have a false concept of what constitutes the structure of authority in a home.....it is NOT money!
  • glenette1
    glenette1 Posts: 140 Member
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    I am the primary breadwinner for my family so I work because I have to. If I didn't have to work, I could not stay at home full time. My ideal situation would be to work 3 days during the work week and "be available" at home 2 days per week.
  • cdprouty
    cdprouty Posts: 140 Member
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    My wife and I are in an interesting situation, we own a corporation (website design firm) and when our daughter was born three years ago, we decided to work exclusively from our home studio...still do to this day. And while we travel to different parts of the country to meet with clients about every 8 weeks (with our child), we love staying / working from home.

    It's been amazing to be able to share in the first years of her life. Wouldn't have it any other way.

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