RANT: I hate my teenager

misadele

Been there done that! I understand your frustration. Reallly? "You raised him it's your fault" and "I hate my teenager"
if either of these statements were remotely true I doubt you would be on here venting about your concern over the lack of ambition your " hated" teen has. Come on people really? Cut this mom some slack. She obvisously loves her kid and is trying to do a good job. So what if the hate word was used. It's just describing her intense frustration for a situation and kid that she obviously cares a great deal about.

Some parents have kids that go with the flow and some don't. My parents raised me and my sister and two grandaughters. Parenting skills the same...yet 4 different outcomes.

My two cents. Have faith in your parenting skills, be consistent and stick to your guns. Might need to let him stumble some to realize how much he really does have it made. Being a parent is hard sh**. I have four. I was really worried about my son...same thing, lazy just wanted to play and have fun. He signed up for the AF right after High School and he's on his fourth year considering training in another field to broaden his experience. Definately not the same chip eating, teenage Halo player that was in my living room 4 years ago!

Don't doubt yourself momma. You obvisously care about your kid. It will come in time. I will never forget the phone call my son made to me after he was gone for about a year, having to pay bills and follow rules on his own. He then knew that everything I had done and tried to encourage him to do was because I loved and wanted nothing but the best for him. That phone call was one that I will never forget. Sometimes when I struggle with my 17 and 15 yo...I think back and know that I am doing a good job. Hang in there! It's all for the greater good!

megalin9

For all the "hate is such a strong word" and the "it's all mom's fault" folks: congratulations on your limitless perfection. I am awed and astounded by your greatness. :noway:

I have a friend who has 3 boys. Same parents (nature), same upbringing, schools, etc (nurture). The youngest is a wildly successful pastry chef who attended J&W for his degree in culinary arts. The middle is a modestly successful middle manager for a major corporation with an MBA from Clemson. The oldest still lives at home (he is almost 40), has a FT job s a dispatcher, but no motivation, even still plays D&D. So to the perfect parents: what went wrong? The nature vs. nurture argument cannot apply because there is no statistically significant difference.

Those of us who have children, especially teenagers, know how maddeningly, incomprehensibly frustrating they can be. And those of us who are imperfect often say to ourselves: "damn I hate that kid". Do I really hate my 17 yo daughter? HELL NO. Does she make me so angry I see red? HELL YES. Do I have imperfect thoughts, such as duct taping her mouth shut? Of course. Do I do these things? NO, NO, NO. So get off your high horse and let's be real here. We all have those thoughts, obviously some are more comfortable admitting to them. Better to vent on an anonymous message board than tell her son she hates him.

To the OP: give him his passport on the way out the door. If per his temper tantrum he is "grown", than it is time for him to act grown.

So glad others are saying exactly what I am thinking.

fbmandy55

Just because someone doesn't have ambition to do great things doesn't mean they are a dumbass. I have know many smart people who didn't have ambition. Some people are content with the lives they have and don't need material things.

Apartment living is not a bad thing. Sure it's nice to own a home but it isn't for everyone. A great job isn't for everyone either. Some people enjoy their lower end jobs.

Agreed. My brother is the 'Target Cop" and make a measly $10 n hour but absolutely LOVES his job. He gets to sneak around all day spying on shoppers and has a ton of fun doing it. Plus he gets to bust people who steal.

I don't aspire to have anything crazy or be outrageously wealthy. I just want to be content. If I was single with no kids, I would be content in a little apartment too.

ilovemybuggy

The fact that you can even bring yourself to say you HATE your child hurts my heart. No parent should EVER hate their child. Shame on you.

gottaTuscany

I understand your frustration. I get you hate his choices and not him. Sometimes in frustration we say something harsh without meaning the literal sense of "I hate...". That's just human nature. I can appreciate your need to vent and looking for some support. I sort of thought that's what MFP was about, but clearly others cannot break away from their need to judge.

People don't have any idea what kind of parent you are or what your road has been like with your son. So, to make it sound like you didn't do a bang up job of raising him is ignorant. Until you walk in someone elses' shoes...

At some point, and certainly by age 18, we should be responsible for our own actions, regardless what kind of upbringing we have. Sounds like he has some growing to do. He will get there, mom. This is his time to learn by making his own mistakes. Nothing you can do, but love him enough to allow him to fall. Sometimes that is the only way to teach or for him to learn.

Let the negative comments roll.

Hang in there - Stay strong, mom. Only you know your son best.

Tommy

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