Please tell me my mom is wrong!

DawnieB1977

Your mum was maybe just trying to be nice and not making you feel bad in case you don't lose the weight? I don't know your mum obviously so I don't know the tone she said it in.

Anyway, i'm 35 and have had 2 kids and I'm now nearly as small as I was 10 years ago, so it's not true that you can't get your figure back. I'm definitely smaller than I was when I started university though as I was pretty overweight at 18 years old. I lost loads of weight at uni, but I am still thinner now than I was when I finished my MA.

stephaniern21

Ah my mom tells me the same thing! I always say "ugh I wish I looked like I did when I was 17 again" and she always says "you're getting older, your body changes" and I hate that- because I am determined to get back down! I don't think she meant it to bash you, I think they are just saying as you get older, it might be harder, and our bodies just don't work the same way... but you can get down to those 10/12 jeans again if you work hard enough! It can be done.. might be more difficult to get to, or you might see the weight sit differently in different areas now that you're older, but you can definitely do it and prove her wrong! Good luck girl!

CincinnatiDEIFan

I haven't read all replies. However, your mom is WRONG.

I am a 38 year old mom to TWO children born via C Section 11 and 9 years ago. My last college degree came in 1999 (MBA) and 1996 (Dual BSB Finance & Accounting).

I was a size 10/12 in college.

After some work this summer, I am now in a size 8!

JingleMuffin

So, I am 24 years old. When I started college at age 18, I weighed a healthy 165 lbs (I'm 5'10"). I should also add that during high school, I lost about 50 pounds to get down to that 165. Now, as a medical student, I've gotten up to 230 lbs due to inactivity and excessive eating. To make a long story short, I offered a pair of my smaller jeans to my younger sister (these jeans fit me when I was about 190 lbs) and they didn't fit her, so my mom suggested she give them to a friend. I said, "Oh, don't do that... I'm planning to be able to fit back into those soon." She replied, "Honey, we can't all be the same size as we were in college. Your body has changed." Basically, her theory is that women shouldn't aspire to be the size they were in college (for me, that was a size 10/12... nothing crazy) because as they age, their bodies somehow magically morph into something unrecognizable. I mean... I don't see any truth in her logic, but it still is really discouraging to hear.

I know that a lot of members have commented about hurtful things their moms have said to them regarding weight (either loss or gain). Is it just a mom thing? Has anyone figured out how to filter and disregard this sort of jealous, discouraging mom talk? It really gets to me.

shes wrong babe

BrainOnAStick

Oh lord. You're in medical school. Good luck. I am in my 7th (!) year of graduate school and I can't begin to adequately explain the toll taken by sitting at a desk, getting irregular sleep, eating food on the go and managing school and life stresses. Your mom probably meant well and was trying to moderate your expectations. What she probably *really* wants is to see you achieve all of your goals. As you progress on your academic, professional, physical, and other paths and eventually achieve your goals, she will be immensely proud of you. Heck, I don't even know you and I am proud of you. You're in medical school and doing the work to take care of yourself? Bravo to you!

She's your mom. Of course, she loves you and wants to see you do well and be happy. Your mom's framework doesn't work for you and that's okay. We all see the world differently sometimes. Keep up the good work anyway!

(And writing all of this just helped me think about and process some of my own infamous "mom statements." For example, in regard to my dissertation, "Are you able to do this thing?" Right. Thanks, mom!)

Good luck to you!

Defren

I'm a mom and I say your mom is wrong. I have two daughters and if they go through university (I am in the UK) and add a little weight, I would always encourage them if they wanted to drop it. I love my girls regardless and if they set out to do something I will always support them. Not all moms say dopey things :-)

Ashleyyyb93

My mum is the same. She called me horrible names with regards to my weight. My sisters are both size 4-6 and I was a 14. You can absolutely be the size you want to be!!! Go for it, your mum may not be rooting for you, but we are!! Remember that

Ashley. x

daisiemae123

I had lost a bunch of weight and was smaller than I was in college before I was pregnant with my little man. Trying to get back there and sure that I can.

mizzie1980

So, your mom says that women can't expect to be the size they were in collage, which, for you, was what? Two years ago? What on earth could have happened to your body in those two years that would magically make it so you can't get back into that size?

When people talk about "never having my college/pre-baby/etc body again", they are typically talking about a MUCH longer time frame between that time and now. A 65 yo woman probably won't ever have the body she had at 18, the aging process does cause some changes over the years. BUT, that doesn't mean she can't be the same SIZE she was at that age! She can, it just won't look exactly the same.

You are 24, keep those jeans.

marycmeadows

Your mom is wrong.

I was a 14-16 in high school, and by the time I was 28, I was a 24-26. I made my lifestyle change on 1/1/11 (not as a new year's resolution, just thought I wanted to try to lose some weight)..... almost two years later, I am at 187lbs, a size 12-14, pushing a size 10, and about to complete my second half marathon. I am now 30 y/o and in the best shape OF MY LIFE!

minkakross

I'm 41, I hit 260 last year and now I'm 100 pounds down and back into a .... SIZE 10, I'm one size away from my HIGH SCHOOL size and the same size as I was in college...so you know what ... Your mom is wrong! If you want it you can be back in those pants and do be gentle with your mom when you rub it in.

AnninStPaul

I weighed 20+ pounds more in high school (30 years ago). I weighed 7lb less than I do now at my lowest, my junior year of college. I may not get back to my junior year of college, but I am sure as hell not going back to my high school weight!

It does get harder as you get older -- hormones conspire against you -- but you are no where near pre-menopause, when the hormone excuse becomes valid. And the better shape you are going into it, the better you will be going through it.

lobster888

I was going to say but some others beat me to it..she is wrong! But not only your mom but anyone who tells you you can not be the same as any period of time before, whether it is high school, college, before kids or before menopause. I had an arguement with a friend of why I couldn't be the same as when I was younger...I can and I am ... it just takes work. You have to eat right and exercise!!!

kooltray87

hahahahah Mothers say the darnest things! I've gotten down to a size smaller than I was in JR HIGH! So of course your mom is wrong. Also there are A LOT of older people here who are now smaller than they ever were in their younger years. Your body can do whatever you set your mind to!

amflautist

Yep, your mom is wrong. I'm 71 and on the way to my high school & college weight. It's taking a lot of work and determination. But I WILL be that size and that weight again!!

ChitownFoodie

I'm smaller than I was in college, and I am 30. However, I am 15lbs heavier than I was in HS.

JAllen32

So, I am 24 years old. When I started college at age 18, I weighed a healthy 165 lbs (I'm 5'10"). I should also add that during high school, I lost about 50 pounds to get down to that 165. Now, as a medical student, I've gotten up to 230 lbs due to inactivity and excessive eating. To make a long story short, I offered a pair of my smaller jeans to my younger sister (these jeans fit me when I was about 190 lbs) and they didn't fit her, so my mom suggested she give them to a friend. I said, "Oh, don't do that... I'm planning to be able to fit back into those soon." She replied, "Honey, we can't all be the same size as we were in college. Your body has changed." Basically, her theory is that women shouldn't aspire to be the size they were in college (for me, that was a size 10/12... nothing crazy) because as they age, their bodies somehow magically morph into something unrecognizable. I mean... I don't see any truth in her logic, but it still is really discouraging to hear.

I know that a lot of members have commented about hurtful things their moms have said to them regarding weight (either loss or gain). Is it just a mom thing? Has anyone figured out how to filter and disregard this sort of jealous, discouraging mom talk? It really gets to me.

Does she have a "fat body"? Maybe she uses that as an excuse for herself, so she doesn't have to try.

If I were outwardly the b!tch I am in my head sometimes, I would hang on to those jeans and when they are too big for you, offer them to her. "Remember those jeans I decided to keep incase I was ever small enough to wear them? Well, they are too big for me now, would you like them?" hehe So Evil!

chocl8girl

Ugh! Why can't people just be HAPPY and encouraging ESPECIALLY to the ones they say they love? *sigh*

Of COURSE you can be any size that you want to be! I was a size 18 in college, have been as high as a size 26, and I am a size 12 now, smaller than I EVER have been in my adult life (I am 40 now).

gluestic14

Just like everyone else has said - your mother is wrong! From experience, since last August when I decided to start making changes to my diet & exercise, I have lost about 40lbs. That drops me down to about 145 at 6 feet tall. That is the lowest I have ever been in my ENTIRE adult life (I'm 30) and my teenage years. It can be done!!!

Also from experience, I have a mother that is like yours and although I don't know your mother I know how hard it is to hear the negativity. In my mother's case, when she see someone else succeed it points out her own flaws and she won't have any parts of that. In fact, she purposely keeps people and things like this out of her life just because she's jealous. Not that there's anything outstanding in my life to be jealous of...it's all in her own mind.

I don't know if you have something similar going on with your mother or not. People will tend to fill their heads up with "realistic" things like "you can't ever have the same body as you had in college" because they don't want to face the fact that they have done nothing to lose weight themselves. Don't let that negativity get you down!!! Prove her wrong! And if she's then open, help her with all you've learned. Flaunt it!!! You've worked hard - you deserve it! :happy:

Rowan813

I am 44 and sttill have a pair of jeans from high school. Those jeans are now too big by about a size or two. I love trying them on. My Mom thinks i am too small, but I just don't care. I am normal.

classycouture

Very wrong!

cwolfman13

Your mom is both wrong and right. Being that you're 24 years old, it shouldn't be a tremendous problem...hard work and dedication yes, but it's absolutely doable...you're only a handful of years removed from your previous weight and clothing size; to boot, at your age, you're really in your prime so it would be a good time to get started on your quest.

I'm sure what your mom is refering to is that it gets harder the older you get and it takes a lot more time and dedication. The older you get, the more work you have to do to lose weight and maintain a healthy weight. If you were in your 40s or 50s, I'd proably tell you, "good luck" and be on my way...probably wouldn't happen. People's bodies change a lot over time, even when they're fit and at healthy weights. I'm 38 and I seriously doubt that I could ever have the same body or same level of fitness that I had when I was 20. For one thing, when I was 20 I was a U.S. Marine; I was basically paid to train and work out 24/7...my goal is to get down to around 175Lb (only 23.8 Lbs to go) which was my "happiest" weight, but still 10-15 Lbs more than I weighed when I was a Marine. At my age, and given that I also can't dedicate hours on end to exercise, reaching my weight and level of fitness at 20 would be a completely unreasonable goal.

Now, something you should think about...if you're serious, now is a great time to start. As I stated earlier, you're pretty much in your "prime" right now in regards to your body's natural abilities. It will be much easier to start now than to wait...you'll have to work that much harder later on to achieve the same goals. I noticed a serious decline in my metabolism, etc after 30...then again after 35...now I'm busting my *kitten*!

Like most people, I was always "too busy"..."not a good time"...and any number of other excuses. It was always a, "I'll cross that bridge when I get there" kind of thing...but that bridge never got there, I had to go to it. In RE to finding the time to exercise and the motivation to make good decisions in RE to what you're putting in your body...there is no magic that happens...nobody wakes up one day and says, "hey...I have all this time on my hands, think I'll start working out." The fact is that nobody has the time...life only gets busier and busier which is why diet and exercise require substantial dedication and hard work. Just remember that all of that time you're spending getting fit is just one step closer to your goal...every sack lunch and healthy snack you pack is another step closer...step by step, one day at a time.

69ssrs

Mom is wrong. I am 57 years old and have lost 28lbs this year to date. 22lbs since I started My Fitness Pal. Main thing is I have lost 4 pant sizes already and counting.