Guys, be honest,....
Replies
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I know. Hey! I'm single & have to deal with it!! :grumble:
I personally agree with your husband BUT you assume men in general WANT to "make love". This is not always the case.Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
which is sad.
Yeah well I really sincerly hope you find someone whos loving and caring and loves you for YOU. They are rare!!0 -
Call me old fashioned, even a liar, but I prefer overweight. Not morbidly obese, overweight.0
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Call me old fashioned, even a liar, but I prefer overweight. Not morbidly obese, overweight.
i wouldnt call you a liar! Apparantly my husband prefers this also lol0 -
I do not think those comments about men are fair. Honestly think women are a lot more shallow than men when it comes to looks. I have been a lot of different sizes (including obese) and I got the most rude comments when I was under-weight, and most of those came from women. Some of the inflammatory comments seem as if you are just projecting your own insecurities. You need to accept who you are and how you look, getting angry at the world will not make you love yourself more.
I do not think that you can say all men prefer anything because sweeping generalizations do not accomplish anything. Weight just just an attribute, like freckles or eye color and people will have preferences no one is being mean to anyone by having a preference. Anyone who does make comments about someone weight (or any other feature) are just looking for an excuse to be mean for whatever reason. And being mean has nothing to do with what you find physically attractive.0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.0 -
The hot looking guys/gals are the fantasy for most of us... and sure there are some folks who have both the body and the personality to boot.
But there's a heck of a lot more to life and love than having the perfect body.
And if we're honest, unless we looked drop dead gorgeous with a cherry on top too, wouldn't we be wondering why such a hot looking stud muffin was wanting to commit to a relationship with a FAT person!!! :noway: :ohwell: :sad:
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it's to be hoped that we are loved for who we are and not how we look. :flowerforyou:0 -
But there's a heck of a lot more to life and love than having the perfect body.
I'm willing to try it regardless.0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion0 -
well yeah its a beauty is in the eye of the beholder kind of thing
id have to see that to believe it
you're asking the wrong question... we can see a pretty face and think that's attractive (i.e. that she's pretty) even if we're not physically attracted to her body because of her size.
for example, this woman is very pretty, but she's nearly too big to be voluptuous anymore. don't get me wrong, lots of guys would find her body physically appealing at this weight, but if you add another 50 pounds, that number would go down quite a bit. she'd still be very pretty however.
of course, if she's smart, funny, and alot of fun to be around, it really would add quite alot to her appeal even with another 50 lbs.
This woman is beautiful!!!! Period. She is curvy and seems confident.
^^^^^^ This.
I have dated what I would consider a normal amount before getting married almost 9 years ago (2nd marriage), and I only really dated 2 women that I would consider a normal size or size that "society" would not consider overweight. They were 5'2 / 130 and 5'7 / 140. The firat one also got up to close to 200 while we dated and were married (1st wife). All the others were between 170 and 260 and were all hot at the time we dated to me. I will admit, I am first drawn to a pretty face and nice chest, but there has to be a good personality right after we meet too. I guess my most hot can be anywhere from a size 8 - 20 depending on how carried and I can certainly like bigger. It is a total package thing, looks, body, personality and confidence along with how they also treat me. I am 6'2 and 320 right now. Hope this helps. We are out there...
Right on point...love it!0 -
First of all, everyone has different tastes and types. There are some men who don't find women who AREN'T obese attractive! Yes, they are the minority, but they exist.
That said, you have to define "overweight". According to BMI Brad Pitt is overweight and George Clooney is OBESE. So numbers are BS.
Many men also are attracted to curves. Yes, some like skinny women with curves, but others prefer a girl with a little meat on her bones. I have actually heard men complain about thin women being nice to look at and not so nice to touch. Let's face it, boobs are fat. Women with very low body fat do not have naturally large ones.
In college I had a friend who was 5'4" and weighed close to 200lbs but was very very curvy and had extremely long hair and knew how to dress for her body. Guys LOVED her. She was often considered the hottest girl in a room full of pretty 130lb girls her height. It's not entirely about weight, though yes, there are some guys who are superficial enough to never date anyone with an ounce of pudge, but luckily, not that many.
Men are also attracted to CONFIDENCE, so a woman who thinks she is fat and is ashamed of herself and withdrawn won't be perceived as attractive where a woman with the same body who is comfortable with herself and outgoing will be. There's a lesson in that ladies...
To each his own.0 -
First of all, everyone has different tastes and types. There are some men who don't find women who AREN'T obese attractive! Yes, they are the minority, but they exist.
That said, you have to define "overweight". According to BMI Brad Pitt is overweight and George Clooney is OBESE. So numbers are BS.
Many men also are attracted to curves. Yes, some like skinny women with curves, but others prefer a girl with a little meat on her bones. I have actually heard men complain about thin women being nice to look at and not so nice to touch. Let's face it, boobs are fat. Women with very low body fat do not have naturally large ones.
In college I had a friend who was 5'4" and weighed close to 200lbs but was very very curvy and had extremely long hair and knew how to dress for her body. Guys LOVED her. She was often considered the hottest girl in a room full of pretty 130lb girls her height. It's not entirely about weight, though yes, there are some guys who are superficial enough to never date anyone with an ounce of pudge, but luckily, not that many.
Men are also attracted to CONFIDENCE, so a woman who thinks she is fat and is ashamed of herself and withdrawn won't be perceived as attractive where a woman with the same body who is comfortable with herself and outgoing will be. There's a lesson in that ladies...
To each his own.
IF YOU READ BACK A WAYS I COUNTED 7 MEN WHO SAID THE CONFIDENCE THING IS A MYTH.0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.0 -
My wife is slim and trim. And she loved me when I was 40 pounds heavier. I am still way overweight, but she loves me anyway. That being said...
No way she finds me attractive. She couldn't. Love may be blind but common sense is not. I owe it to her to become as attractive to her is she is to me.0 -
I still disagree about the confidence, but don't expect men to understand. When women feel they look good they feel GOOD about themselves and act differently, dress differently, relate to others differently. Just because a guy doesn't notice the difference in confidence level doesn't mean he's not going to go to talk to the girl that SMILES at him and maintains eye contact over the girl that ducks her head and averts her eyes while slouching back into the corner.0
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I don't believe the confidence thing is a myth at all.
I am attracted to women of all sizes and shapes. It is MUCH easier to be attractive if you're in shape that's a fact, works for men too. I have met many many many women and seen many on here who are overweight and knockouts... Some who wear makeup, have great personalities and the trademark giant breasts and its hot.
Just like how incredibly gorgeous girls don't have to be smart or have a personality and the rest of us have to bring something else to the table bigger girls have to work a little harder to get their sexy on. Same goes for men.
What happens in many cases is bigger girls lose confidence, let themselves go, don't try and dress up nice, don't try and put on makeup and look unhappy. That isn't all cases but I see it a lot.
Thin doesn't equal sexy and big doesn't equal unattractive. I know plenty of in shape women I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole and more than a few big girls I look at with bedroom eyes.0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
ive never met a shallow overweight woman
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?0 -
Personality can only get you so far.
That is correct.
I have what I consider a GREAT personality. But as an obese man, you know what thatgets me? A ticket straight into the friend zone. I have NO DOUBT it will be different after I lose this extra 100+ lbs.0 -
I don't believe the confidence thing is a myth at all.
I am attracted to women of all sizes and shapes. It is MUCH easier to be attractive if you're in shape that's a fact, works for men too. I have met many many many women and seen many on here who are overweight and knockouts... Some who wear makeup, have great personalities and the trademark giant breasts and its hot.
Just like how incredibly gorgeous girls don't have to be smart or have a personality and the rest of us have to bring something else to the table bigger girls have to work a little harder to get their sexy on. Same goes for men.
What happens in many cases is bigger girls lose confidence, let themselves go, don't try and dress up nice, don't try and put on makeup and look unhappy. That isn't all cases but I see it a lot.
Thin doesn't equal sexy and big doesn't equal unattractive. I know plenty of in shape women I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole and more than a few big girls I look at with bedroom eyes.
Woohoo...LOVE this, too...you men are DEAD ON!0 -
IF YOU READ BACK A WAYS I COUNTED 7 MEN WHO SAID THE CONFIDENCE THING IS A MYTH.
Depends on how you look at it.
A surplus of confidence usually isn't attractive in itself, however the lack of it can be very unattractive.
Men generally don't say: "Dude, did you see that girl over there? She's SO CONFIDENT! I'm in love!" -- that's the "myth".
In fact, an overconfident, arrogant, bragging, ultra-competitive kind of woman can be be turn off. I like quiet confidence, the kind that doesn't have to anything to prove.0 -
Personality can only get you so far.
That is correct.
I have what I consider a GREAT personality. But as an obese man, you know what thatgets me? A ticket straight into the friend zone. I have NO DOUBT it will be different after I lose this extra 100+ lbs.
my husband is about your size there are women who like big guys!!! 0 -
*lol*
I don't think that is what most of the women meant by "confidence", but I agree.
That said, arrogant men are repulsive to me. Far far more than funny, intelligent, down-to-earth, obese ones.
There is a big difference between confidence and arrogance.
Arrogance is often there to cover LOW self-esteem, not a good overall healthy self-esteem.0 -
Life isn't always fair. But in general men prefer a thinner woman over an overweight or obese one, and they are entitled to their preferences no matter how much it pisses people off.
I feel bad for your overweight friends who are passed over for the twig with no personality, but it'd probably be easier for them to lose the weight than for the girl to grow a personality.
but my point is men seem to be more and more shallow with looks. My husband put it a good way. He said do you really want a !@#$buddy who looks good but thats it>??? Or a woman with personality who you can make love to and actually feel good about being with. Good point
Just because men/women are attracted to someone who looks good vs someone who doesn't, does not make them shallow.
But "what looks good" is a matter of opinion
Correct.
I don't get why you are faulting men who are attracted to women who are healthy vs. obese.
Personality can only get you so far. I could have the best personality in the world and be over weight and there would be no way my husband would be with me, let alone want to touch me or see me naked.
And why is it always the thin women who are shallow and what makes a thin woman shallow? You don't think that an over weight woman who "exudes confidence" can be shallow?
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever0 -
*lol*
I don't think that is what most of the women meant by "confidence", but I agree.
That said, arrogant men are repulsive to me. Far far more than funny, intelligent, down-to-earth, obese ones.
There is a big difference between confidence and arrogance.
Arrogance is often there to cover LOW self-esteem, not a good overall healthy self-esteem.
110% AGREED!0 -
I'm 5'9.5 196 lbs and my husband tells me he thinks I'm sexy and how attracted he is to me. He's 6'1, 200 lbs. He doesn't prefer thin women, he's actually very attracted to muscular figures which I was working towards for myself, but now that I'm pregnant I was told to not lift as heavy, boo. It varies. I was 260 lbs at my heaviest, did he find me as attractive, no he didn't, we've talked about it, but I don't blame him.
Some men are attracted to obese, some are attracted to overweight, some are attracted to muscular, and some are attracted to thin.
As for the female aspect. I like muscular bodies, my husband was muscular when we started dating 8 years ago, that being said he's not anywhere near as muscular now as he was due to us moving, getting married 2 months ago, getting pregnant and everything else, BUT I find him just as sexy as I did when he had his 6 pack abs.0 -
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
You need to get out more. I know many.0 -
ive never met a large woman who was shallow. Ever
lololololollololololololololololololo0 -
IF YOU READ BACK A WAYS I COUNTED 7 MEN WHO SAID THE CONFIDENCE THING IS A MYTH.
It's not like they can see it. It's like pheromones. I have definitely noticed a difference over the years in how many men approach me based on how I feel about myself at the time. I've never been especially large and I have basically a pinup girl figure, so even at a size 12, I look pretty good. But I don't like how I look, so I tend to shrink into the background more.
Confidence is not a myth. It IS attractive. Not everyone is very perceptive as to what attracts them to the opposite gener (or same gender if you swimg that way).0 -
IF YOU READ BACK A WAYS I COUNTED 7 MEN WHO SAID THE CONFIDENCE THING IS A MYTH.
It's not like they can see it. It's like pheromones. I have definitely noticed a difference over the years in how many men approach me based on how I feel about myself at the time. I've never been especially large and I have basically a pinup girl figure, so even at a size 12, I look pretty good. But I don't like how I look, so I tend to shrink into the background more.
Confidence is not a myth. It IS attractive. Not everyone is very perceptive as to what attracts them to the opposite gener (or same gender if you swimg that way).
Keep being delusional.0 -
IF YOU READ BACK A WAYS I COUNTED 7 MEN WHO SAID THE CONFIDENCE THING IS A MYTH.
It's not like they can see it. It's like pheromones. I have definitely noticed a difference over the years in how many men approach me based on how I feel about myself at the time. I've never been especially large and I have basically a pinup girl figure, so even at a size 12, I look pretty good. But I don't like how I look, so I tend to shrink into the background more.
Confidence is not a myth. It IS attractive. Not everyone is very perceptive as to what attracts them to the opposite gener (or same gender if you swimg that way).
While confidence would definitely make someone more approachable I don't think it would make someone who was over weight more attractive to me. I am attracted to looks, physique and everything else that everyone on the earth is attracted to. You could have all the confidence in the world but if you're over weight I am just not going to be attracted to you. I can be friends with you and no, it wouldn't grow into something more over time because I am not physically attracted to you.0
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