Guys, be honest,....

matthew8387

i dont want to be conceited, shallow or whatever blah blah blah but...

no i cant say ive ever seen someone that is heavy or obese and thought they were attractice. I have, however, thought that if they maybe lost some weight, they could look really good.

I look at it this way- i care about my body and i work out, and eat good food (most of the time) and i CARE about my body, now before you tell me that it's not their fault, biological problems, whatever...if they dont care what they look like, why should i find them attractive? at least some effort should be there

YAAAAA im an *kitten* but im not beating around the bush here.

charelg

Everyone is different on what is attractive. Someone that has confidence and a great personality is just as important as good looks. But of course a really overweight or obese person would always look better being in a normal weight range.

lol, no.

This might blow your mind, but men are different than women, *gasp*, and men TEND (not all the time, again outliers etc) to be more visual. So physical traits will almost always trump "confidence and a great personality".

I lol when women say women having more confidence will boost their success, no it really won't.

Men can usually judge if they want to pursue you on looks alone. (Again for the 100th time outliers etc)

EDIT: See exhibit "trophy wife" for confirmation of what I am saying.

Yes men are visual and looks are the first thing that you notice, I agree. However, you can have a beautiful barbie with 0 personality and an attractive women with a good personality, and I would say most men would prefer the 2nd option.

kmuree

Frankly, I think if you're attracted to men or women of a larger (obese or otherwise) weight, you're attracted moreso to the comfort level because you're fat too, because it's less threatening.

In example, if you got to your goal weight, are you sure you'd still be attracted to your "heavy, burly" man?

Or were you partially attracted to him because you were both heavier, meaning he got less attention and he is less apt to find a thinner partner?

If he lost the weight and got down to a healthy weight and looked damn good and got attention from the ladies but you stayed at your heaviest weight, would you feel insecure or secure with yourself? Would you still wish he was big and burly because that's what you like, or because you subconsciously know he's "safe" and won't leave you?

I think about this all the time, actually. That's why I'm saying it, not that it's literally about you.

My boyfriend was incredibly attractive to me (and still is! Hubba hubba) but as I've gotten healthier and a healthier view of what my and his weight should be (and seen healthy pictures of him 30lbs less a few years ago, and seen how it has affected him), I find it incredibly sexy that he is losing weight with me. I thought I liked broad, chubby guys.

No, I just didn't want him to get thin and find another girl because I was still fat. :laugh:

Now it's a journey for us both.

I still think broad, burly men can be sexy though. :drinker: But overall, I'm attracted to health.

Edit: Oh! I should add that no, I don't look at obese men and think, whoa, he's a fox! But if he's chubby or just burly, hell yeah I do. :laugh:

As for my boyfriend, he has always dated overweight chicks. Yet he ogles over thin, curvy women. :huh: :laugh: He says he's got the hots for me as is but I can't wait to be one of those slim, curvy honeys!

Owlie45

well yeah its a beauty is in the eye of the beholder kind of thing

id have to see that to believe it

Oh, the bitter, "any one who prefers a healthy physique based off of hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary processes is an *kitten*" person.

??????

Yeah I don't think shes knows that the preferred has changed over all those years.
Its actually only recently, compared to how long humans have been here, that skinny has been preferred.

albinogorilla

I personally have always preferred a little meat on the bones.............skinny doesn't do anything for me............

zachatta

Yes men are visual and looks are the first thing that you notice, I agree. However, you can have a beautiful barbie with 0 personality and an attractive women with a good personality, and I would say most men would prefer the 2nd option.

As sad as it is, there are many men (myself NOT included) that would be all about zero personality barbie.

Again, there are always outliers to every set of data, always.

I am just saying, women need to stop pretending that, if a women some how gets much more confident, or

she has an "amazing" personality, that her success rates will increase. More than likely it won't.

Looks for men, are not a "first thing we notice", it is more of a deciding factor.

JanaCanada

You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

please, ask your husband what he considers attractive, not here. Most likely you, he married you.

^^this. Is seems as though this is something that should be talked about with your husband. You appear to have a large degree of insecurity, rightly or wrongly, and really, the only person who can help alleviate that is your husband.

I love it when someone plays shrink and dispenses their "diagnosis" about a stranger based on one post. *eyeroll*

OP is simply posing a question that many people find interesting.

My opinion: Attraction...matters. Chemistry...is key. But love is blind....and can make Quasimoto look like Prince Charming in the eye of the beholder who loves him.

IslandDreamer64

My husband met and fell in love with me when I was 280 pounds. He told me I was hot and I believe him. We're still together. My opinion is that only shallow people can't see past the fat. Get over yourselves and give everyone a chance.

AntWrig

well yeah its a beauty is in the eye of the beholder kind of thing

id have to see that to believe it

you're asking the wrong question... we can see a pretty face and think that's attractive (i.e. that she's pretty) even if we're not physically attracted to her body because of her size.

for example, this woman is very pretty, but she's nearly too big to be voluptuous anymore. don't get me wrong, lots of guys would find her body physically appealing at this weight, but if you add another 50 pounds, that number would go down quite a bit. she'd still be very pretty however.



of course, if she's smart, funny, and alot of fun to be around, it really would add quite alot to her appeal even with another 50 lbs.

You tripping.

I would crush that with the fury of a 1000 zulu warriors.

To the OP, what you should be concerned about is how your husband views you, not other women.

VanessaHeartsMasr

My husband loves big women. I've caught him staring at many, many overweight and obese women over the years. In fact, I'm scared that he might not be as attracted to me when I reach my goal weight. Lol.

Edit to say, when he met me, I was 185 pounds and he thought I was the hottest chick in the entire world and he still did when I started on MFP at 234 pounds.

jigglewiggles

But love is blind....and can make Quasimoto look like Prince Charming in the eye of the beholder who loves him.

So true, one of my very best friends is so stunningly beautiful from head to toe, and so into fitness, yet she ended up marrying (in my opinion) an overweight, not very attractive man. He is a good man who takes great care of her and loves her very much, and she always comments on how "handsome" he is. So this statement is so true.

firstsip

You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

please, ask your husband what he considers attractive, not here. Most likely you, he married you.

^^this. Is seems as though this is something that should be talked about with your husband. You appear to have a large degree of insecurity, rightly or wrongly, and really, the only person who can help alleviate that is your husband.

I love it when someone plays shrink and dispenses their "diagnosis" about a stranger based on one post. *eyeroll*

OP is simply posing a question that many people find interesting.

My opinion: Attraction...matters. Chemistry...is key. But love is blind....and can make Quasimoto look like Prince Charming in the eye of the beholder who loves him.

Really? Have you seen the other posts OP made in this thread? :sick:

BillyD81

Skinny,Overweight or Obese it dont matter. Body shape and size isnt the only thing that attracts me to women That I find Hot.

Umeboshi

I've looked at many a fat woman and thought "Damn, she's hot".
My girlfriend thinks fat women can be hot too.
Yes, including 300lb+ women.
We're not "looking past" anything.

mjrkearney

I'm a woman who has been been with men of all shapes and sizes and I must say that my eye does tend to lean towards heavier men. Not necessarily obese but more the giant teddy bear type. Thin to the point of fragility leaves my motor cold and while lean, toned muscle may make me look your way, it won't get me to walk your way. Back in the day I wouldn't ignore someone based on body type but it took a lot more than a nice butt to get anywhere near mine.

As for men preferring more slender women, all I have to say is know your market.

vice350z

You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.

WinnerVictorious

well yeah its a beauty is in the eye of the beholder kind of thing

id have to see that to believe it

you're asking the wrong question... we can see a pretty face and think that's attractive (i.e. that she's pretty) even if we're not physically attracted to her body because of her size.

for example, this woman is very pretty, but she's nearly too big to be voluptuous anymore. don't get me wrong, lots of guys would find her body physically appealing at this weight, but if you add another 50 pounds, that number would go down quite a bit. she'd still be very pretty however.



of course, if she's smart, funny, and alot of fun to be around, it really would add quite alot to her appeal even with another 50 lbs.

You tripping.

I would crush that with the fury of a 1000 zulu warriors.

To the OP, what you should be concerned about is how your husband views you, not other women.

no, not tripping. she's definitely sexy at that weight. maybe i should have said if she added another 100 lbs. she'd still be very pretty with another 100lbs, but not sexy anymore to most men. that's the distinction i was trying to make to the OP. pretty/attractive vs. sexy/attractive.

runningfataway

I feel your question is the same among women... I don't see to many women calling overweight or obese men attractive.

Actually, I like "husky" men. Big, meaty, burly men. My husband is working on loosing 25 or so pounds. While I support him 150%, I'd be FINE if he was fine with his current weight. I think that chubby guys are hot.

I don't see why some men wouldn't be attracted to heavy women? Not that I'm a smut bunny but there's a whole fetish market and everything for large women, right?

Umeboshi

You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.

Yup, it kind of does.

vice350z

You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.

There are attractive overweight women. But you can't help but thing "damn, she's be really hot if she dropped some weight". Does that make me a ****? I don't think so.

Yup, it kind of does.

why? Just as someone's attracted to tall women vs short women...some are attracted to slim women as opposed to overweight women.