Guys, be honest,....
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You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
On topic. No...I don't, depending on how you define overweight. I know guys who have a preference for a larger weight range than my own, or 'body type' if you will (a few for example have found the body type pictures in this thread attractive, I didn't)...and some who prefer thinner women than I do. None that I know of think obese women are 'hot' in any way, shape or form.
There's a reason the 'fetish' for obese women is considered a fetish...it's far, far out of the norm, and has more to do with mental, emotional and/or sexual issues or differences than any typically labled 'attraction'.
Oh no
Fetish as a psychological term is one of the things the DSM has been steadily working on/trying to change in its next publication because it's this generation's homosexuality (same with the movements towards removing transgender/transsexuality being removed as a facet of body dysmorphia). A fetish does NOT necessarily stem from mental, emotional and/or sexual issues, and is better thought of as a "kink" or "taboo" for being "outside of the norm" or "alternative." The original definition of fetish was simply a sexual attraction for a body part outside of sexual characteristics, and the term has kind of taken on a life of its own. Really! A straight woman being attracted to large muscles in a man is technically a labeled fetish! Does that seem weird?
Fetishes of many kinds can be healthy and consensual and safe... and to label it as an "issue" isn't quite fair!0 -
The general psychology is the exact same, however. Back when heavier people were considered attractive. Being overweight in a generally poor economy (for example, the feudal system) implied they had the money to eat well. That made them ideal partners from a procreation standpoint, as the child would have a safe, sanitary home and everything they needed to survive their youth.Yeah I don't think shes knows that the preferred has changed over all those years.
Its actually only recently, compared to how long humans have been here, that skinny has been preferred.
In this current society, overweight is not synonymous with rich. The two most conventionally attractive things are physical fitness and wealth - biologically that translates into the ability to bear a healthy child and the means to care for it.
Barring social conditioning that can lead to outside-of-the-norm preferences, people are subconsciously sexually attracted to people who would make good parents. That's just how it is.0 -
Well, of course everyone is going to have different preferences. I'll just say this...I'm 5'9", and when I was 140, I would get casually asked out, on the bus, in coffeeshops, whatever. Now, 6 years older, married, and in the 240s, I still get asked out casually and hit on in bars, social situations, etc. I actually think I may get it more because I'm much more relaxed about being in social situations now that I'm off the market.
Honestly, I don't know if the guys who hit on me when I was thin would hit on me now, and vise versa. But only one matters to me now, and he's loved me through thick and thin.
LOVE!0 -
our weight DOES change our thinking...you ARE NOT the same at the two different sizes--self image changes most as our health changes.I understand where the op is coming from. I've been single for 7 yrs now and have been heavy and thin. Amazing how guys lined up to ask me out when I was thin. I am the same person either way but as the weight increased the dating opportunities decreased. It's funny because guys tell me what a great personality I have and what a great catch I am for 'someone' but never them. The funny part is that a number of these guys were the ones asking me out when I was thin (they have deployed more than once since we first met and seem to forget I remember them). I know we all have our preferences but it seems that I hear so many comments made by guys about heavy girls. I've actually quit trying to date because the negativity I get, it gets old.0 -
On topic. No...I don't, depending on how you define overweight. I know guys who have a preference for a larger weight range than my own, or 'body type' if you will (a few for example have found the body type pictures in this thread attractive, I didn't)...and some who prefer thinner women than I do. None that I know of think obese women are 'hot' in any way, shape or form.
There's a reason the 'fetish' for obese women is considered a fetish...it's far, far out of the norm, and has more to do with mental, emotional and/or sexual issues or differences than any typically labled 'attraction'.
Fat people are not a fetish. Some people fetishize fat people. There is a difference. There are many people attracted to fat people who do not fetishize them, just like there are people who are attracted to trans* people who do not fetishize them.0 -
Look guys, the first impression can be HEAVILY skewed just based on the way someone carries themselves..
Example:
Hot woman, nice butt.. what have you
If she had a bad odor about her like she didn't bathe properly, or didn't brush her hair
Hot woman=Significantly less hot
Example 2:
Larger lady, maybe even 'obese' category
Dressed in well-fitted, clean fashionable clothes, who took care of herself
Automatically boosts hot points despite weight range
Same goes for men, that's always what I notice. HOW THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES, visually.
You can't really present confidence in a significant way.
Well, if you do, it's probably obnoxious ha.0 -
Id have to say a lot of "chubby" girls can pull off looking pretty/cute. Once they start getting too large though, then they lose any semblance of curvature and feminine figure. When they start looking so fat they remind me of (old) me, or start looking like my sister, then its just a major turn off and attraction goes out the door.
But thats just a small piece of the overall pie.0 -
There's a reason the 'fetish' for obese women is considered a fetish...it's far, far out of the norm, and has more to do with mental, emotional and/or sexual issues or differences than any typically labled 'attraction'.
"Obese" can be someone 175 pounds. If you're talking about 500 pound women, yes I can understand. I hardly think my girlfriend has a fetish for loving my body when I was 300 pounds.
yes, i think he means morbidly obese. the BMI charts that define obesity are almost complete BS. lots of women can be classified as obese who would be considered voluptuous and sexy by the majority of men.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
On topic. No...I don't, depending on how you define overweight. I know guys who have a preference for a larger weight range than my own, or 'body type' if you will (a few for example have found the body type pictures in this thread attractive, I didn't)...and some who prefer thinner women than I do. None that I know of think obese women are 'hot' in any way, shape or form.
There's a reason the 'fetish' for obese women is considered a fetish...it's far, far out of the norm, and has more to do with mental, emotional and/or sexual issues or differences than any typically labled 'attraction'.
Oh no Fetish as a psychological term is one of the things the DSM has been steadily working on/trying to change in its next publication because it's this generation's homosexuality (same with the movements towards removing transgender/transsexuality being removed as a facet of body dysmorphia). A fetish does NOT necessarily stem from mental, emotional and/or sexual issues, and is better thought of as a "kink" or "taboo" for being "outside of the norm" or "alternative." The original definition of fetish was simply a sexual attraction for a body part outside of sexual characteristics, and the term has kind of taken on a life of its own.
Fetishes of many kinds can be healthy and consensual and safe... and to label it as an "issue" isn't quite fair!
'Issues or differences'
.
I covered my butt there lol. I agree completely regarding fetishes in general. But I think we all have to agree, some go beyond the bounds of healthy emotional or mental behavior. I'm not necessarily saying that men who find obese women sexually attractive fit into that category, its not my place to judge...but I think we all agree that its well into the minority overall.0 -
Look guys, the first impression can be HEAVILY skewed just based on the way someone carries themselves..
Example:
Hot woman, nice butt.. what have you
If she had a bad odor about her like she didn't bathe properly, or didn't brush her hair
Hot woman=Significantly less hot
Example 2:
Larger lady, maybe even 'obese' category
Dressed in well-fitted, clean fashionable clothes, who took care of herself
Automatically boosts hot points despite weight range
Same goes for men, that's always what I notice. HOW THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES, visually.
You can't really present confidence in a significant way.
Well, if you do, it's probably obnoxious ha.
I love how you don't even specify "hot woman"'s body type, then proceed to specify "larger" woman's body type.
Fat and hot are not mutually exclusive. Hot does not imply thin.0 -
I am being urged by the peanut gallery to cease and desist, but I must continue at least one more time, if only to say: you are literally policing thoughts with this logic, and I can only hope you feel that, "I think men who adhere to a hetero-normative standard should be flogged" is an equally uncharitable thought you should not think.
She said it jokingly lol, but it's an opinion she's expressed more than one or two or twenty times.There's a reason the 'fetish' for obese women is considered a fetish...it's far, far out of the norm, and has more to do with mental, emotional and/or sexual issues or differences than any typically labled 'attraction'.
"Obese" can be someone 175 pounds. If you're talking about 500 pound women, yes I can understand. I hardly think my girlfriend has a fetish for loving my body when I was 300 pounds.
I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole. I've got enough strikes thank you very much.
LOL im not so easily offended, but i get where that was going.0 -
Now, Ok! I am not a guy, but I think it really depends on the person and I don't just mean personality... like how the person carries their weight for example. if they are proportioned for their body it tends to "look" better but saying that no guys are attracted to obese women or over weight women I think is a bit much?! I know ton's of stunning over weight and obese women and men. Technically probably more ppl then we think are classed as over weight and obese.. I know I am not stunning or hot by any means but I am .1 % from being in the obese catagory and I don't feel that is a correct "label" but maybe I am off my rocker to think that a bit of "curves" lets say should be classed as over weight... JMO... I can be wrong....0
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There's a reason the 'fetish' for obese women is considered a fetish...it's far, far out of the norm, and has more to do with mental, emotional and/or sexual issues or differences than any typically labled 'attraction'.
"Obese" can be someone 175 pounds. If you're talking about 500 pound women, yes I can understand. I hardly think my girlfriend has a fetish for loving my body when I was 300 pounds.
yes, i think he means morbidly obese. the BMI charts that define obesity are almost complete BS. lots of women can be classified as obese who would be considered voluptuous and sexy by the majority of men.
I am obese, at the weight I am in my profile picture, taken this week. I meant truly obese, based on bodyfat levels. So yes, 175lbs, 5'1, with outrageous bodyfat levels would fit within my criteria...wheras 175lbs, 5'4, with reasonable bodyfat levels, would not.0 -
Meant hot as in... what this topic is about. The OP saying the "skinnier" women being preferred.Look guys, the first impression can be HEAVILY skewed just based on the way someone carries themselves..
Example:
Hot woman, nice butt.. what have you
If she had a bad odor about her like she didn't bathe properly, or didn't brush her hair
Hot woman=Significantly less hot
Example 2:
Larger lady, maybe even 'obese' category
Dressed in well-fitted, clean fashionable clothes, who took care of herself
Automatically boosts hot points despite weight range
Same goes for men, that's always what I notice. HOW THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES, visually.
You can't really present confidence in a significant way.
Well, if you do, it's probably obnoxious ha.
I love how you don't even specify "hot woman"'s body type, then proceed to specify "larger" woman's body type.
Fat and hot are not mutually exclusive. Hot does not imply thin.
I'm about as big-girl positive as it gets, if you're happy with yourself that's amazing.
Personally I'm happier mentally when I'm doing healthy things.0 -
Look guys, the first impression can be HEAVILY skewed just based on the way someone carries themselves..
Example:
Hot woman, nice butt.. what have you
If she had a bad odor about her like she didn't bathe properly, or didn't brush her hair
Hot woman=Significantly less hot
Example 2:
Larger lady, maybe even 'obese' category
Dressed in well-fitted, clean fashionable clothes, who took care of herself
Automatically boosts hot points despite weight range
Same goes for men, that's always what I notice. HOW THEY PRESENT THEMSELVES, visually.
You can't really present confidence in a significant way.
Well, if you do, it's probably obnoxious ha.
I love how you don't even specify "hot woman"'s body type, then proceed to specify "larger" woman's body type.
Fat and hot are not mutually exclusive. Hot does not imply thin.
For you. Stop pressuring YOUR opinions on everyone else.0 -
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LOL im not so easily offended, but i get where that was going.
I'm glad.
My obese statement had far more to do with bodyfat levels than anything else.0 -
this.0 -
Not what I meant.
Fat people are sometimes fetishIZED. We are not A FETISH.
Just like:
Trans people are sometimes fetishIZED. Trans people are not A FETISH.
To make it really simple:
Hair is sometimes fetishized. Finding that person's hair adds to their attractiveness is not the same as fetishizing their hair... Get it?0 -
My coworker told me just last week," girl, you sure are losing that weight. You gonna be something when you drop that weight. You already got a pretty *kitten* face, and to have a body to match, you're husband better watch out."
Really.0 -
ive always found that people become more attractive once you get to know them and know their personality
I believe what ^he said. I have been told many times I have a pretty face, and I do believe that. Been overweight forever. I've had guys notice my face for sure, but never come up and ask me out. Yes, there have been some to flirt.
But even though I was always overweight I never had trouble getting a boyfriend (when I was single) because the guys who ended up asking me out were the ones that got to know me. I have been told over and over all my life that I have a fantastic personality.
By the way, I don't feel like my weight makes me who I am. I have many great qualities to offer. 0 -
My coworker told me just last week," girl, you sure are losing that weight. You gonna be something when you drop that weight. You already got a pretty *kitten* face, and to have a body to match, you're husband better watch out."
Really.
Really. She was guilty of being inconsiderate, but not of being wrong. Her opinion is hers to have, and the judgment of right or wrong by comparison, yours. It's relative, not universal.
The inconsiderate part came from implying you're not attractive now, whether you are to her or are not.0 -
I can't agree with this as a blanket statement. My SO loved my body at 300 pounds, just like now at almost 70 pounds lighter. In this aspect, I wouldn't think it's a fetish, so much as acceptance.0 -
I can't agree with this as a blanket statement. My SO loved my body at 300 pounds, just like now at almost 70 pounds lighter. In this aspect, I wouldn't think it's a fetish, so much as acceptance.
Agreed, it wasn't a fetish. But acceptance and love of who you are, isn't the same as being 100% attracted to your body on a purely physical level.
There were things about my last girlfriends body that weren't necessarily on my list for 'perfection'...and other things that exceeded what was on that list. None of it mattered in the end though, I loved her just the way she was. However, it was initial physical attraction that brought us together, her personality simply sealed it. These are not things of little consequence. Had either of us been obese (NOT by that stupid BMI chart)...I doubt we'd ever have talked.0 -
Very inconsiderate. What she should have said (what she really meant) "you are too fat now that your husband should not have any worries because noone wants you" and "yeah, "you're pretty, but that stops at the neck"
lol...it does not bother me, in a round-about way, she's probably right. It does not bother me, really, just adding that women think alot like men...0 -
wow, this thread has taken a bit of a turn from what the OP was asking! yay for railroading and trolling!
i know this thread was asking the guys, but i can tell you that i've always been on the chubby scale. and i only had problems pulling blokes when i wasn't feeling very confident, but i think that's more about the person i portrayed myself as.
i think that some men (and chicks) like skinny women, some like athletic women, some like italian women, some like pasty white women, some like chubby women, some like oriental women, some like fat women, some like huge women.
i do know that psychological studies have shown that people will choose their potential partner based on how attractive they class themselves (however, there are always people who are looking for something else other than a loving relationship, and people that fit outside societal 'norms'). for example, i would rate myself at about a 6/10 on a hotness scale- i'm not hideous but i'm not going to be gracing the cover of vogue any time soon (that's 6/10 fat or thinner because i don't base my self worth on my weight). when i met my hubby i rated him at about a 5/10, but the more i got to know him the more beautiful he became to me.
i0 -
I like cheese and crackers.0
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I like cheese and crackers.
You would be so hot if you would just turn into a pile of cheese and crackers.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
this is a trap right? It feels like one...and worse yet, it feels like a trap for your husband....that the men of MFP get to help you spring on him....
see...if the men of MFP say "yes...you are right" then it gives you the tools to go back to your husband and say "you don't find me attractive, I conducted a poll and statistically you just don't." Doesn't seem to matter at all that he fell in love with you or married you...which really he did...
BUT....if the men of MFP by chance say, "I'm sorry but you are wrong, we do find overweight/obese women attractive" then it gives you the ammunition to go back to your husband and say "there are men out there that find overweight/obese women attractive and aren't afraid to admit it, but you never say it, you say thin women are hot".
see? It's a trap...and it's a sad one...because he will NEVER be right, and you will always be hurt...and quite frankly...he married you....
that should be all the answer you need.
jus sayin.0 -
You never look at an overweight or obese girl and say "damn she's hot. do you?? I've even caught my husband saying how thin women are hot, but never any that are overweight or obese.
this is a trap right? It feels like one...and worse yet, it feels like a trap for your husband....that the men of MFP get to help you spring on him....
see...if the men of MFP say "yes...you are right" then it gives you the tools to go back to your husband and say "you don't find me attractive, I conducted a poll and statistically you just don't." Doesn't seem to matter at all that he fell in love with you or married you...which really he did...
BUT....if the men of MFP by chance say, "I'm sorry but you are wrong, we do find overweight/obese women attractive" then it gives you the ammunition to go back to your husband and say "there are men out there that find overweight/obese women attractive and aren't afraid to admit it, but you never say it, you say thin women are hot".
see? It's a trap...and it's a sad one...because he will NEVER be right, and you will always be hurt...and quite frankly...he married you....
that should be all the answer you need.
jus sayin.
If I didn't love you before Miss Lauren (and I did)...this post would have sealed it.0
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