school says granddaughter too fat

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  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    Just for the record, we are now 9 pages in and the OP hasn't posted since the original post.

    (That wasn't directed at any one person or at the conversation in general but lots of people keep giving advice to the OP who hasn't responded)
  • chelseabuns88
    chelseabuns88 Posts: 77 Member
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    [/quote]

    'Isn't there a theory that the simple act of observing something in action, changes that action.

    So maybe seeing those numbers would change something for some people. Maybe not all, but it might for some. I know I changed my behavior when I saw a certain number on the scale. Maybe it holds the same for other people.

    So maybe seeing that number will cause some people to buy fresh food and make some effort to feed their kids right, even if it doesn't entirely succeed.'
    [/quote]

    I think this is quite a naive outlook in all honesty, believing that people are oblivious to their behaviour and lifestyle choices until an outside force intervenes seems somewhat ridiculous (to me, at least).. for a very small minority this may be the case but in reality it's not so easy. People list a wide variety of reasons for poor diets; convenience/value for money being at the forefront.. a letter from school wont change that.

    Maybe it's just because I've worked with children and as an outsider I have observed multiple manipulative behaviours centred around food. As I said before, old habits die hard; for parents.. Parents set themselves up for a fall the moment they 'reward' their child with some chocolate or a trip to the drive-through..

    This is all beside my original point anyway, I wasn't attempting to get involved with a debate about whether it's right or wrong.. I was genuinely shocked that people aren't able to use their visuals to establish whether someone (of any age) is roughly a 'healthy weight' or not and for the OP if her granddaughter is truly happy and healthy then what is the point dragging the poor child to the Dr's to be poked and prodded?

    As a final note I find it bordering insanity that everyone needs to be told what to do ALL the time, in every area of life (buy this, watch this, eat this, believe this, etc).. does everyone have their brain switched to idle or something?
  • 04ddt67
    04ddt67 Posts: 2
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    I think a home visit is out of line as a first notification because this note gave the impression that the parent/guardian is doing something wrong and can lead to defensiveness rather than open communitication. A home visit also may be overheard by the child. I don't think the school should be pointing fingers about the problem but should start with a genuine discussion about the health of the child and ask the parent about the childs lifestyle before jumpting to conclusions. However, there is no reason why you couldn't meet with the nurse at the school to see what she has to say. If the conversation turns into accusations from the nurse you could end the discussion and advise you will contact her doctor.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I think a home visit is out of line as a first notification because this note gave the impression that the parent/guardian is doing something wrong and can lead to defensiveness rather than open communitication. A home visit also may be overheard by the child. I don't think the school should be pointing fingers about the problem but should start with a genuine discussion about the health of the child and ask the parent about the childs lifestyle before jumpting to conclusions. However, there is no reason why you couldn't meet with the nurse at the school to see what she has to say. If the conversation turns into accusations from the nurse you could end the discussion and advise you will contact her doctor.

    Home visits are offered as a convenience. Schools are not social services. They aren't trying to intimidate you. A home visit should be scheduled when the child isn't home or arranged so that the child cannot overhear a private conversation. This is not about accusations; schools and other child professionals don't investigate child abuse and neglect, they call social services for this. There's no difference in offering a home visit or a visit at the school. The parent has the right to say, "No, thank you, I can come see you." I personally wouldn't want people coming to my home and would rather get myself to the school, but a parent dealing with a baby, a toddler, and online schooling for instance may feel very differently. The schools don't keep profiles on who has what life circumstances. I'm sure they sent the same letter to each child's parents that fell outside the normal guidelines.
  • marthadztx
    marthadztx Posts: 337 Member
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    Absolutely ridiculous!
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
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    That is just uncalled for... Since you said you're keeping an eye out as you don't want them going down your road, I assume that means she is eating healthy food. If she has no jiggle, and is active, and eating well, then they need to go by THAT and not the damn number on the scale. Maybe she's active enough that she already has some muscle development.
  • emtjmac
    emtjmac Posts: 1,320 Member
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    my 2 year old is 37 pounds... if I get a note like that... well, let's just say that school is going to regret it.

    So you are going to punish a school for giving you their honest feedback about a health issue your child?

    Do you have kids?
  • kondisen
    kondisen Posts: 1
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    Sorry to say it love, but your Grand-daughter is Obese according to her BMI index. Source: http://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhcv2/bhcsite.nsf/pages/bmi4child
    Based on graphs developed by the National Health Center for Statistics in collaboration with the National Centre for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion (2000).

    You and her mother need to rethink what you consider as healthy and normal. 44 pounds is very fat for her height. Unless she is a muscular bodybuilder? which i doubt. Stop the denial and face the truth. Get the girls eating habits under control. Lay off the fast fatty foods, cakes, snacks and fizzy drinks, and get her to start eating fruits, veg and lean meats. This child is in the 95th percentile, which means, if she continues on this path of obesity she is destined for a life of health issues such as diabetes, high blood pressure & heart problems, liver & kidney problems, joint problems etc.

    Face the truth and reality and start to make changes in her eating habits. It starts with the parents and family. Nick.
  • waskier
    waskier Posts: 254 Member
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    I am dumbfounded by the number of morbidly obese posters that are offended or shocked by the school taking an active role in educating not only the child, but the family, in proper nutrition. This should be a great thing! I wish we could have far more honest conversations about what it is to be healthy. Do those of you opposed to this approach really want this poor kid to have to go through what we are dealing with? Overweight, unhealthy, dissatisfied and trying to figure it out as adults? Maybe if we had access to proper education in nutrition as a child we all wouldn't be on here tracking our calories and exercise like fiends to achieve a healthy weight.

    My employer is actively promoting healthy lifestyles. They had us take health tests and fill out surveys to evaluate our lifestyles early this year. Several months ago I received a phone call from a company-paid Health Coach. They were calling to review my goals and help encourage and educate me in ways to meet them. They call me every month, during company hours, to check in. Is it my company's business? No. Do I appreciate it their concern, even though it can be a bit self-serving? Hell yes! I am running my first marathon a week from Sunday. Is it because of them? No. Did they help keep me on track? Yes. And to top it off, they sent me an email last week congratulating me on my success and notifying me that they were sending me $100 as a thank you for participating and maintaining my focus!

    We should all be so lucky to have an employer or school that takes an interest in our overall health. I say good for the nurse and good for the family. You are being given an opportunity to help your child. Take advantage of it and do everything you can so that your grandchild doesn't become one of us, fat and trying to figure out how to change our lifestyle as adults.
  • kiachu
    kiachu Posts: 409 Member
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    singling out a 4 year old. 44 LBS at 3 feet I don't consider that obese. I see kids everyday who weigh twice that.

    I HIGHLY doubt you've seen a 88 lb, 3ft 4 year old and didn't think they weren't morbidly obese

    I was almost 100 lbs at 5 y/o, but did not look at all obese. Just tall with good bone.

    How tall were you?
  • lovelyladyJ21
    lovelyladyJ21 Posts: 246 Member
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    This is how some eating disorders get started!!


    They say my son is obese he's 2 is 36 inches and weights 33.51 lbs. I'm sorry but if he lost the 5-10 lbs they think he should there would be nothing left of him!!


    EVERYONE'S body is built differently but they don't take that into consideration.

    But I would also be ALL for the home visit; just look at it as a learning experience. I'm all for learning more about nutrition and providing healthy meals for my family. Plus you don't have to pay for it! =)
  • leeleeloulou
    leeleeloulou Posts: 31
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    i agree that the school should be aware of this and keep in contact with parents. BUT BMI is not the only thing to go on. Things like, does the child look healthy? are they able to partake in sports activities with ease?
    I wouldn't worry too much about it now. Just keep an eye on your granddaughter, and explain to the school that you have changed the children's eating habits in line with your healthy regime now anyway. The can't say fairer than that.
    Best of luck
    Leah xxxxx
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
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    This is up there, with one of the most terrifying threads I've ever read.
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
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    My sons best friend is a gymnast, he's 10 and pure muscle, in fact he's in the top 5 of under twelves class in Britain.

    She got the same kind of letter : /
  • DrBorkBork
    DrBorkBork Posts: 4,099 Member
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    singling out a 4 year old. 44 LBS at 3 feet I don't consider that obese. I see kids everyday who weigh twice that.

    I HIGHLY doubt you've seen a 88 lb, 3ft 4 year old and didn't think they weren't morbidly obese

    I was almost 100 lbs at 5 y/o, but did not look at all obese. Just tall with good bone.

    How tall were you?

    I dunno. Maybe an inch or two taller than my class mates from my school pictures. By 10 years old I was 150 lbs, but definitely obese by then. I hit my growth spurt around that time and was the tallest 5th grader in my school, but I've been 5'5.5" since then. I remember getting to 6th grade after many of my friends hit their growth spurts and thinking "WTH?" suddenly I was the shortest.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I don't see anything wrong with this. They aren't telling the child they are obese. They are offering assistance to the family. It may or may not be an issue. Individual circumstances will tell. I saw a few posts here saying how some other posters were that size at that age and that was ok. It wasn't until they were a few years older that they were obese. Um, OK, yeah. The statistics showed at the younger age that you were at risk, and you were. Before anyone asks, yes, I do have 2 children ages 4 and 6. I know that a lot more needs to be looked at then just the height and weight. Activity level, actual diets, how much sleep the child gets are just a few of the inputs that should be evaluated. Sorry, but at that height, that is a lot of weight to carry. Did they weigh with shoes on? Like others have said, that extra few pounds can skew the evaluation. My 6 year old boy is just at 40 pounds now.
  • leeleeloulou
    leeleeloulou Posts: 31
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    I don't see anything wrong with this. They aren't telling the child they are obese. They are offering assistance to the family. It may or may not be an issue. Individual circumstances will tell. I saw a few posts here saying how some other posters were that size at that age and that was ok. It wasn't until they were a few years older that they were obese. Um, OK, yeah. The statistics showed at the younger age that you were at risk, and you were. Before anyone asks, yes, I do have 2 children ages 4 and 6. I know that a lot more needs to be looked at then just the height and weight. Activity level, actual diets, how much sleep the child gets are just a few of the inputs that should be evaluated. Sorry, but at that height, that is a lot of weight to carry. Did they weigh with shoes on? Like others have said, that extra few pounds can skew the evaluation. My 6 year old boy is just at 40 pounds now.

    the first post does actually say that the school think she's obese xx
  • sunkissedrn19
    sunkissedrn19 Posts: 2 Member
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    I actually have to disagree with most of you. I think that it is great that someone is showing some concern. It is too easy to not be realistic when it is about someone we love. I think that it is great that they are offering assistance and education. Our children are getting bigger and bigger. I am a nurse and 90% of the children I see are overweight. I mean 10 year olds weighing 125+ lbs. Children are not typically outside playing like in the past. Now its all about video games and technology. Families are also "busier" and that typically means fast food. We need help as a nation.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I don't see anything wrong with this. They aren't telling the child they are obese. They are offering assistance to the family. It may or may not be an issue. Individual circumstances will tell. I saw a few posts here saying how some other posters were that size at that age and that was ok. It wasn't until they were a few years older that they were obese. Um, OK, yeah. The statistics showed at the younger age that you were at risk, and you were. Before anyone asks, yes, I do have 2 children ages 4 and 6. I know that a lot more needs to be looked at then just the height and weight. Activity level, actual diets, how much sleep the child gets are just a few of the inputs that should be evaluated. Sorry, but at that height, that is a lot of weight to carry. Did they weigh with shoes on? Like others have said, that extra few pounds can skew the evaluation. My 6 year old boy is just at 40 pounds now.

    the first post does actually say that the school think she's obese xx

    By medical standards she is. The school told the parents, not the child.
  • Gwen_B
    Gwen_B Posts: 1,018 Member
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    I used an online calculator an it indicated she was: A 4 year old (female) child who is 44 pounds and is 3 feet tall has a body mass index of 23.9, which is over the 95th percentile, and would indicate that your child is overweight.
    http://pediatrics.about.com/cs/growthcharts2/l/bl_ibw_rslts.htm?gender=2&age=4&months=0&feet=3&inches=0&inches_percent=0&pounds_100=NaN&pounds_10=NaN&pounds=NaN&pounds_percent=NaN&pounds_100=0&pounds_10=40&pounds=4&pounds_percent=0&page=5

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