school says granddaughter too fat

Mokey41

Going to a doctor isn't always the answer either. Some doctors are too dense to realize there's an issue too. Our doctor tells my 6' 280 lb husband that he's fine, never mentions that if he were 50 lbs lighter he might be able to breath and not be constantly complaining about sore knees and ankles. Pretty sure if I took an overweight kid in to him that he'd dismiss it especially if the parent was making all the noises of not thinking there was an issue. Obesity is one of those things that a lot of people *****foot around because saying anything is so poorly received which is what started this topic in the first place.

cathdrew2

The average 4-year old doesn't read yet so unless the adults at home told her what was in the note, she would never know. I can imagine it would be a surprise to many adults to receive that note. I can imagine an adult getting defensive because they take it as an attack on their dear child or an attack on their own parenting. In the end, the point of the note is to draw attention to a concern not condemn you as a parent or attack your child.

Kids shouldn't have to think about weight, only about making healthy eating choices and getting exercise. Visit the pediatrician with the note in hand - see what their response is. Try to move past feeling offended and accept the home visit: what can it hurt? You might learn something. At the worst, you just pacify the school and that's not such a bad thing either. The school is trying to be helpful (coming from a former elementary school teacher). Childhood obesity is an epidemic and as parents, in many cases we have the cure. Allowing her to grow into that weight is usually recommended rather than a diet. The average child watches 4 hours of TV or other electronic devices each day - can you encourage outdoor play for some of that instead? Maybe enroll her in non-competitive soccer or dance?

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done and I second guess myself at leat 10 times a day. Try to accept this as the helpful suggestion it was intended to be. Best wishes to you and your family!

shrinkingislander

I work in the school system (elementary) and while we do not screen for weight, we do really promote healthy eating/nutrition (free fruit program for snacks etc. ) and the kids are asked to track their activity levels (number of minutes and what kind of activity) and parents sign off in their agendas each week.

As for the note, going home and the effect it may or may not have on the child's self esteem; if you are concerned about that you don't have to show it to the child. Usually notes sent home are sealed in an envelope or folded, so the child cannot read them. As a parent/grandparent use your discretion on what information a child needs to know. Case in point, my daughter always struggled academically in elementary school, and I would get notes home telling me what grade level she was performing at and when she was in grade 3 but reading at a grade 1 level, I didn't give her those details from the notes because she would not have fully understood and why risk making her feel dumb.

akylios

Parents who have obese children know they have obese children. This program is not "for the greater good" it's a boneheaded idea that is based off a bad scaling system. Since my daughter's pediatrician is perfectly happy with her, the school sending a note saying she is fat is not going to do anything but make her uncomfortable about her weight. This is out of line.

Myself being a fat kid who was routinely tortured for it, I can straight up tell you that if this program make even one set of parents step back and realize the **** they are putting their kids through, then I say good for the school. If your pediatrician tells you your kid is healthy, then there is no need for concern. However, I can understand the sentiment that it might upset the kid to tell them they are fat. I havent read any information on what the kid knows from the original poster. I would like to know what they have been told, and whether it came from the school officials, or whether it came from the parents after they opened the letter (if the kid knows anything at all). From what I have read, the child in question is 4 years old. At that age, my guess is they snuck in a weighing in inbetween nap time and macaroni sculptures and never even told him/her what it was about. By the end of the day the child could have forgotten all about it and the only thing they would have to remember it by is a sealed envelope that they are told to deliver to his/her parents that they cant even read.

If my parents had gotten this letter and realized I didn't need a 4th helping of porkchops and gravy, or a metric crapton of pizza every other day, perhaps I wouldn't have gone through all the stuff I went through. It seems like you have this in hand though, simply ask them not to weigh your daughter anymore and let the school try to get through to some parents that might actually need a wake up call

EpilogueOfYouth

I just double checked those measurements on a BMI scale and it says she's overweight. As long as I've used it, the BMI chart has always been right for me. I think it's mostly right, unless you have excessive muscle. And at four, you can hardly be a body builder.
Obesity is a massive problem, and due to societys distorted perspective of body shape, people are beginning to become more and more relaxed about what is considered fat and what isn't.
I definitely wouldn't ignore the letter.
You shouldn't put your granddaughter on a diet. Just ensure she gets enough exercise. Take her to the playground, make sure she goes outside to play and doesn't live in front of the tv, and that will keep her weight consistent and she'll grow into it

mysugarbearrocks

My son was teased in School for being thin even harrased about being anorexic because he was tall and thin. over 75% of the kids in that grade School were overweight. Kids get teased for weighing too much, not enough, hair style it dont matter. She is probably going to thin out when she has a growth spurth. Just teach her how important it is to be active each day. Schools should focus on teaching kids and providing healthy lunches. Take away recess and pe and serve sugary and high calorie foods is not going to help students at School. Maybe all the students brought home a similar letter of some kind?

Lisa760

I would say no thanks to the home visit but take the letter and granddaughter to her own doctor for discussion.

Yep.

victoriavoodoo

The school is probably just following some policy they are told to follow; if it wasn't in the nurse or teacher's job description to weigh the kids and send ones outside a certain range home with notes I doubt they'd do it.

I was proportional as a little kid; nothing "protruded" more than anything else but I was proportionately fat compared to the other kids, and they noticed and teased me even if my parents never did notice. Talking to her doctor certainly couldn't hurt. Then you can always send her back to school with a note of your own, saying the doctor took care of it and to butt out in the future.

msbunnie68

Personally, I would take the child to the paediatrician with the letter first. If all is well and good ask the doctor to provide a letter to this effect. Photocopy it and send that back into the school with a polite note saying thank you for your concern and then why a home visit isn't necessary as you have your paediatrician look into this matter etc etc.

Here's the kicker though... are you prepared for if the paediatrician agrees with the school nurses assessment? And if so, can the family then bite the bullet and welcome any home visit and nutrition advice the school/doctor can offer?

Sabine_Stroehm

Going to a doctor isn't always the answer either. Some doctors are too dense to realize there's an issue too. Our doctor tells my 6' 280 lb husband that he's fine, never mentions that if he were 50 lbs lighter he might be able to breath and not be constantly complaining about sore knees and ankles. Pretty sure if I took an overweight kid in to him that he'd dismiss it especially if the parent was making all the noises of not thinking there was an issue. Obesity is one of those things that a lot of people *****foot around because saying anything is so poorly received which is what started this topic in the first place.

I agree some docs are not good. But it's a start. And pediatricians are uniquely trained to monitor growth and development.

guardian419

my 2 year old is 37 pounds... if I get a note like that... well, let's just say that school is going to regret it.

Farburnfred

Something no-one has asked..how does this correlate with her birthweight/length? If she is heavier than 99% of children then maybe thats because she always has been? if you take 100 points someone has to sit at each of them..

nxd10

my 2 year old is 37 pounds... if I get a note like that... well, let's just say that school is going to regret it.

So you are going to punish a school for giving you their honest feedback about a health issue your child?

soulfulsally

Wow, I've never heard of a school doing home visits just because of a child's weight. I'd cringe if they did height and weight checks at my son's school. He's 4 yrs old, 43" tall and 38.5 lbs and according to BMI is underweight. But he eats like a champ, so I don't know what a home visit would accomplish.

RobynLB

Same thing happened with my boyfriend's son. He is not fat. He's heavy, but this 6 yr. old is built like a truck while a lot of 6 yr. olds are all skin and bones... so it puts him in the overweight category because it's based on percentiles of children that age. His family is watching that he eats less processed food / junk than his peers to make sure he doesn't get overly fat, but he isn't overly fat now so there's really not a "big" issue.

It's good that the schools are taking the childhood obesity epidemic seriously, but there are going to be some kids that get nailed unfairly based on measurements that are not 100% accurate.

nphect

Since Mass passed this I have not heard about it being implemented. This is a load of crap and the BMI scale is horribly inaccurate. I expect to get a similar one for my daughter if they are rolling this out. According to this BMI calculator, she is in the 97th percentile and Obese. Let me get a letter from the school calling my daughter obese and see how quick I jump down their throat. My daughter is taller than all the other kids and by no means even chubby. I would say send some nasty mail to the Deval Patrick to tell them to butt out.

http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx

Why in the world would you jump down their throats? Childhood obesity is becoming an epidemic in North America. Yes, the BMI scale can be horribly inaccurate but it can also be an indicator that something may be wrong. For some families, such a note might be the wake-up call they need.

If your daughter is not obese and her doctor is happy with her weight, etc, then it's not an issue for you. In that case, say thanks for the note, but our pediatrician/family doctor is on top of things and we're happy with our daughter's development.

Please don't shoot down a program that's aimed at helping when estimates are that this generation of kids will be the first to have a shorter lifespan than their parents.

Parents who have obese children know they have obese children. This program is not "for the greater good" it's a boneheaded idea that is based off a bad scaling system. Since my daughter's pediatrician is perfectly happy with her, the school sending a note saying she is fat is not going to do anything but make her uncomfortable about her weight. This is out of line.

whats out of line is creating a generation that will live shorter then the previous because feeding children cookies makes them happy.

RobynLB

I don't understand how a 4 year old girl could get that muscular though?

Growth hormones! jk. There are some oddly buff kids. My brother's kids all had six packs at 4 yrs. old. I was like, do they do abs on Barney now?

cakemewithyou

okay seriously?

she's 4 years old. i retain lots of water because i just DO NOT SWEAT. neither does my mother.
so until i was in 9th grade, i looked so large. big cheeks, big belly, big everything...then it just LEFT my body. everyone thought i had done something to lose it and i was just like..."nope...its called PUBERTY."

CarmenSRT

I would say no thanks to the home visit but take the letter and granddaughter to her own doctor for discussion.

This is the appropriate way to go. You, as a grandma, may a wee bit biased in how you see the child. The doctor may see things quite differently. If so then the letter may be his/her opening to discuss the child's weight.

hippietrailbadass

"Parents who have obese children know they have obese children. This program is not "for the greater good" it's a boneheaded idea that is based off a bad scaling system. Since my daughter's pediatrician is perfectly happy with her, the school sending a note saying she is fat is not going to do anything but make her uncomfortable about her weight. This is out of line."


This statement is not true. I work in the healthcare industry and many parents are incredibly ignorant as to how much food to feed their kids and how fat they should be. We need more education.