school says granddaughter too fat
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What does your granddaughter's family doctor or pediatrician say?
Using the figures you gave, according to the CDC Healthy Weight BMI Percentile Calculator for Child and Teen English Version, your granddaughter weighs more than 99% of the girls her age and height.
http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx
I'd say a visit to her pediatrician is in order and you should listen very carefully to their advice. If the doctor agrees with the school assessment, let the nurse visit. You might find it helpful for the whole family.
We too often get defensive about criticism that is meant to be constructive. Kids know nothing about nutrition. If the family isn't well versed either, where should the knowledge come from? We may not like to hear it, but sometimes we need to be brutally honest with ourselves.0 -
I think you should tell the school that you will go by your (the child's) pediatrician's recommendations, and have the child checked by her pediatrician, letting the pediatrician know what the school said. While it's true that there is a lot of variability and that the family knows the child better than the school, the flip side is as we all know obesity is a huge (no pun intended) and growing health problem in our society and the problem begins for most people in early childhood. So- it's best to be sure. Check with the pediatrician.
I think this response was well put. It is also very difficult to objectively judge things like healthy weight in people that we love.
For those who think this is out of line for a school nurse -- schools screen children for eyesight and vision problems, and check them for lice; how is this so different?
I agree. People are actually making a huge issue of the fact that schools SHOULD be taking responsiblity for weight/nutirition because the rest of us (using the big us of course) are too lazy/busy/whatever to parent our own children. I for one, don't agree, and think parent's need to take more responsilbity for their children instead of pushing it on the teachers. But right, this doesn't sound like teasing or picking on a child. Sounds like one of those basic screners that come up in school, doctors offices, etc. If your worried, take her to her physician. Besides, whats the harm in getting a FREE visit from a nutritionist. Sounds like it might be good for everyone. I would totally be open to a free visit from a nutritionist!0 -
When we got a letter a few years ago about our youngest saying that he was extremely under weight first thing we did was get him in for a check up asap. I had always figured he was just like me and my husband and our other kids and would just be tall and lanky as we were at that age. Dr. confirmed there was nothing wrong with him. He was just very active with a good metabolism that I would love to have again. Don't take offense to it just get her to the dr. and ask the professional about it. Schools around here are doing this as well and have been for quite awhile. The majority of kids in our town are obese. Muscular at the age of 4? I doubt that. Don't try and kid yourself. Get her a check up and get real answers.0
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I also agree and want to add that most parents who have obese children are in denial about it because most of the time they themselves are also obese. Just get her to the dr. and get a true professional opinion and don't get defensive about a letter from the school nurse. Don't make excuses for her either like its all muscle. yeah right. not at that age it isn't."Parents who have obese children know they have obese children. This program is not "for the greater good" it's a boneheaded idea that is based off a bad scaling system. Since my daughter's pediatrician is perfectly happy with her, the school sending a note saying she is fat is not going to do anything but make her uncomfortable about her weight. This is out of line."
This statement is not true. I work in the healthcare industry and many parents are incredibly ignorant as to how much food to feed their kids and how fat they should be. We need more education.0 -
What does your granddaughter's family doctor or pediatrician say?
Using the figures you gave, according to the CDC Healthy Weight BMI Percentile Calculator for Child and Teen English Version, your granddaughter weighs more than 99% of the girls her age and height.
http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Calculator.aspx
you're basically saying what the nurse said and missed the part where the OP mentioned the nurse is basing this on the SCALE. Yes, she might WEIGH more than other kids, but it's all in the way they carry it/how they're built.0 -
Muscular at the age of 4? I doubt that. Don't try and kid yourself. Get her a check up and get real answers.
I'm sorry, but when I was young and this age I was muscular as all hell. You could SEE the muscles and I had visible abs. I was always on the high end of the charts for my height because of this. I wouldn't doubt it in the least.0 -
my son is 4 years old about 3 feet tall and only weights 35lbs... but most kids his age around here are sitting between 35-40lbs0
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I'd take heed & think of it as a little wake-up call about something I may be too close to see.
And I'd be pleased that schools are finally taking a pro-active approach to a very big & prevalent problem (especially in the USA).
A trip to the dr to get a 2nd opinion would be all I'd need to be convinced (either way).0 -
Are you sure your not to close to her to see that she may actually be over weight? This is pretty common, just like behaviour issues, parents/grand parents don't always see because they love their children.
I'm not saying that is the case, but something to consider. I think it's great that the school is trying to be pro-active in helping it's students.0 -
Muscular at the age of 4? I doubt that. Don't try and kid yourself. Get her a check up and get real answers.
I'm sorry, but when I was young and this age I was muscular as all hell. You could SEE the muscles and I had visible abs. I was always on the high end of the charts for my height because of this. I wouldn't doubt it in the least.
If you can see the kid's abs, it's a pretty good indication that his/her body fat is not too high. That's now my nephew was (within normal weight) and my boyfriend's son (overweight).0 -
It is probably a standard letter they send out based solely on BMI or some other "standard"0
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tell them to mind their own business..unless she is teased to no end, it is none of their concern..teachers now adays think they mean well, and are trying to do whats best for the kids, but what they dont realize is it pisses us as parents off, and really give us no say in what to do with OUR OWN kids..its infuriating..see what a pediatrician says first, and dont take their crap..dont let yourself be bullied by what THEY want and think:mad: :grumble:0
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I am one of those people who are "solid". I have always weighed more than I look like I weigh. I weigh more than other people who are the same height and build as me. It's just the way it is for some of us.
I see a lot of kids out there who can barely play or can't play for long outside because of their weight. If your daughter is active, can do whatever she wants physically for as long as she wants to, I would ignore the comments you are getting. Of course we monitor all aspects of our children's health, but it doesn't sound to me like your daughter is in any danger. She sounds like a person like me who is just built solid.
When my son was young, I got a very intrusive letter from my son's school about his vision. He had already been seeing an opthomologist for three years by that time and the school wanted me to sign a letter that he was under a doctor's care. They were incredibly pushy about it and threatened to report me to Child Protective Services if I did not sign because my child was at risk for health problems. I told them in writing that they would never, ever again screen my child for anything without my permission. Never. Schools are not medical clinics. I could not believe this experience.0 -
Some little kids can indeed be very muscular too..my dd is a gymnast and has been since she was 2 and has always been very muscular0
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I don't understand how a 4 year old girl could get that muscular though?
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The 4 yr old girl could easily be in sports, dance or any other kind of physical activity. My niece is two and she is in dance. Muscle will add weight as we all know. Can anyone really sit here and think that this grandparent don't care about the weight if she is on this website? I think it is ridiculous that the school would even send that home. 44 lbs for a 4 yr old does not sound bad at all.0 -
She sounds a bit on the bigger side for her height. I have 8 children. At 4 years old they have ranged from 33" to 38" tall and been between 25 1/4 pounds to 30.5 pounds. Now my husband and I are quite small people and my children will always be on the smaller side. If her parents are bigger people she would probably lean the other way from mine. I would go by what the child's doctor says.
Those numbers are for my 7 oldest kids. The youngest is just a year old.
My son is a beast then! He was just at the doctors and is already at 35 1/2 inches and 32.3 pounds..... Hes not even 2 yet (just hit 22months)
With that being sad, I know my son is tall (and weighs a lot for his age) but every child is different. I was told by the nutritionist and his doctor that yes it is important to monitor weight/height, but not to really worry until the child reaches about 6-7yrs old.
I would be very upset to know know that instead of teaching my son his abc's and 123's they are throwing him on a scale trying to figure out who's "obese" or not in class.0 -
agree with jrbb03092 and PamelaKuz0
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I really don't get why anyone would be offended by this. Is not about you, it's about the child. If the child is overweight, educate yourself and do something about it. Get a dr's opinion, do what you gotta do. It's not ok for kids to be fat, people have to stop pretending it is.0
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I have a niece who is so solid, you would think she were made of metal if you solely based on weight. She is solid muscle with appropriate fat layer for a girl her age. She is also very tall, the tallest in her school, athletic, intelligent and a brickhouse! She is not fat, and she has always been high on the charts from birth. He doctor told her mom to make sure she keeps using her muscles and everything will continue to be fine!
^^this^^ and get the doctors information on your granddaughter 'on record' in case the school tries to pull a fast one0 -
I would ignore it and just talk to a pediatrician. I will say though that my 4 year old is 43lbs, but he's 3'7". He's very tall for his age but his weight is very proportionate with his height.0
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When I was in 3rd grade we did weigh ins in the beginning of the year and at the end. I remember it horrifying me. I was never a fat child but I WAS about a foot taller than everyone else. I don't remember how tall I was but I remember I weighed 78 pounds, I lied and said the scale said 63 pounds. I figured I had to weigh more than my friends because I was taller, but I didn't put together the range was NORMAL AND HEALTHY. I was in a healthy range for my height, I was active and my doctor was not worried about my size. But I was still 20-30 pounds heavier than all my friends. It STILL haunts me and I am 24 years old. I ended up developing an eating disorder in 3rd grade and had it into 6th grade. I literally stopped eating and passed out many times in 3rd grade because of it.
I do not think there is ANY reason a school should be weighing children unless it is given the okay by parents AND it should be done privately.
I would contact the school and ask them the reason they do this. Explain she has a doctor who she sees regularly (as long as she does go yearly) and you thank them for their concern but you would rather this NOT be a school issue because it isn't. But also, make an appointment with her pediatrician and see what they have to say. Don't let it slide, but, don't let the school be involved in it anymore and make it clear they do not need to be.0 -
I really don't get why anyone would be offended by this. Is not about you, it's about the child. If the child is overweight, educate yourself and do something about it. Get a dr's opinion, do what you gotta do. It's not ok for kids to be fat, people have to stop pretending it is.
I hereby co-sign this comment. In fact, we should make this comment a flyer that is mailed to every single home in North America.0 -
My 4 year old granddaughter came home from school with a letter from the school nurse saying she was" obese". She wanted a home visit to discuss proper nutriction and calorie control.
This child weighs 44 pounds is 3 foot tall.
My 2 1/2 year old weighs 40lbs and is 3'2 and he's perfectly healthy. Ignore it.0 -
I'm a teacher and I've never heard of this.
Why are they weighing her? I'd call the principal and inquire about this and ask for some sort of rule or law that says the nurse can screen kids for that. Really, schools around me can't screen for ANYTHING unless the parents sign for it. And sending a letter home about obesity is a screening.
Referrals and IEP reports are the main duties of a school nurse. (I also work in a school) I'd guess she's an RN doing part of her job- a discussion is not a big deal- she's doing her job and trying to help, and a lot of families don't have the resources or knowledge, and would appreciate the support. The family always has a right to say no. No need to get indignant.0 -
I agree some docs are not good. But it's a start. And pediatricians are uniquely trained to monitor growth and development.Going to a doctor isn't always the answer either. Some doctors are too dense to realize there's an issue too. Our doctor tells my 6' 280 lb husband that he's fine, never mentions that if he were 50 lbs lighter he might be able to breath and not be constantly complaining about sore knees and ankles. Pretty sure if I took an overweight kid in to him that he'd dismiss it especially if the parent was making all the noises of not thinking there was an issue. Obesity is one of those things that a lot of people *****foot around because saying anything is so poorly received which is what started this topic in the first place.
THANK YOU. Yes, I agree that overall a lot of doctors don't know much about weight and nutrition, but as far as pediatricians go, monitoring growth, which includes appropriate heights and weights, is part of their job and is something they do on a daily basis - in fact, many, many times a day.
So I agree with everyone else who says that you should check with her doctor to see what s/he says.
Additionally, I'm 32, and I remember being weighed every year in elementary school. I remember (when I was old enough to have such a realization) that it was really awkward because it was during gym class and in front of everyone, both boys and girls. I don't know if they were sending home letters or anything. This was in a NJ public school.
I second the suggestion of the HBO documentary "The Weight of the Nation." It really is eye-opening.0 -
I agree some docs are not good. But it's a start. And pediatricians are uniquely trained to monitor growth and development.Going to a doctor isn't always the answer either. Some doctors are too dense to realize there's an issue too. Our doctor tells my 6' 280 lb husband that he's fine, never mentions that if he were 50 lbs lighter he might be able to breath and not be constantly complaining about sore knees and ankles. Pretty sure if I took an overweight kid in to him that he'd dismiss it especially if the parent was making all the noises of not thinking there was an issue. Obesity is one of those things that a lot of people *****foot around because saying anything is so poorly received which is what started this topic in the first place.
THANK YOU. Yes, I agree that overall a lot of doctors don't know much about weight and nutrition, but as far as pediatricians go, monitoring growth, which includes appropriate heights and weights, is part of their job and is something they do on a daily basis - in fact, many, many times a day.
So I agree with everyone else who says that you should check with her doctor to see what s/he says.
Additionally, I'm 32, and I remember being weighed every year in elementary school. I remember (when I was old enough to have such a realization) that it was really awkward because it was during gym class and in front of everyone, both boys and girls. I don't know if they were sending home letters or anything. This was in a NJ public school.
I second the suggestion of the HBO documentary "The Weight of the Nation." It really is eye-opening.
^ This.
I also second the HBO documentary watch. It's very good. There's a whole section dedicated to childhood obesity.0 -
My daughter is a stick. She is all muscle. Due to two fight schools 6 days a week. She is 40 pounds, 3 feet something. She is small. Your school nurse is on crack.0
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I would ignore it and just talk to a pediatrician. I will say though that my 4 year old is 43lbs, but he's 3'7". He's very tall for his age but his weight is very proportionate with his height.
Exactly. You son weighs the same as the OP's granddaughter, but is seven inches taller. Childhood obesity is rising at an alarming rate and it because of multiple factors. However, denial is one of these. No one wants to call their child "fat", but it is what it is. I see a lot of "solids" and "builts" being thrown around here. That is not always OK. Accept that some children need to lose weight. Get them moving more, and watch portions and the quality of the food.0 -
I think it is good that the school monitors kids for such things. Parents/grandparents who love their child no matter what often can not see the problem with them, because they see their child /grandchild them as perfect.
My son exactly your granddaugther age, and I do think 44 lb is a LOT for only 3 feet height. My son is also very muscular solid kid, and he weights not much lower as he weighs 41 lb , but he is 3 feet 5 inch. Your grandkid is 5 inch shorter and 3 lb heavier than he is , which is a lot, imho. I am not saying she is obese or overweight, but ceirtantly she is very heavy for her height, which needs attention.
If I were the parent, I would take my child to a Dr and have a discussion about the issue. Maybe you are right, and she is just excessively muscular. Maybe you can get her a body fat percentage measured to make sure that she in fact is just muscular and not overweight.
I wish my parents would have paid attention to my weight as a child, but they didn't. I was not excessively fat, but I was a bit chubby. My parents never admitted the problem, and kept saying that i am just have a solid build. I wish they had admitted the problem and had taken action in my childhood. From a chubby kid, I became chubby teenager and young adult. I had/have lots of body image problem and have a hard time to set normal weight goals for myself.0
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