Sexual Orientation Changed Through Reparative Therapy?

Erienneb

It has never been scientifically proven that you are "born gay". There are no gay genetics.
You are just born.

I believe that everyone has same-sex attractions. Some people deny them and move forward towards opposite sex attractions right away and some people don't.
That's what I think.

I also believe that reparative therapy can help some people. While there are people who feel shamed into "turning straight", I also believe that there are people who feel shame in "playing gay". I know a lot of people are saying that they don't choose to be gay and no one really does because of the drama and hardships that they will face. But there are also those people who may have "come out of the closet" at an early age, and later on want to change. If they want to make that change, why shouldn't they? And why should they feel shame in wanting that?
Don't we all have the Constitutional right to pursue happiness? If one is happy remaining gay, then thats wonderful. But if one is unhappy and wishes to make a lifestyle change and move towards "straight-ville", why should they feel shame in that?

I really think the fear and shaming goes both ways...

I agree and disagree with what you just said, haha. Yes, people can be confused at a young age and things may change but it's still not a choice, it's not like they are changing their mind about what to wear to school, sexuality is a huge thing and can change and evolve as you age and you begin to learn who you truly are. I myself came out as a lesbian at age 15, but as I got older I realized I am still attracted to men, I currently am with a man. But there was never a choice, it was never "Oh, I'm a lesbian...naah, nevermind, I'm bisexual"

I think most people could benefit from being a little more open and free with their sexuality.

And I agree with everyone about people who say "Oh, I don't agree with being gay but I will be tolerant of them". That is not something you should be proud of. You tolerate morning traffic, or a bad cold, not a group of people.

I'm dating a guy currently but I'm not attracted to other guys mostly. I choose not to consider myself bisexual because there's no point. I am what I am, and that goes for everyone. Wherever you choose to find love, that's amazing. As for the nurture vs. nature debate I think it's a little of both. Reparative therapy is crap, why *should* they change? And I LOVE what you said about tolerance. Saying "I don't agree but I deal" is the same as saying "I have to deal because it's becoming less socially acceptable to be an *kitten* and hate on someone just for their orientation". It doesn't affect you how someone else lives their lives. I just think everyone deserves to be happy with whomever they find happiness. God knows there are enough miserable straight marraiges, the divorce rate is HALF right now.

firstsip

I used to believe it was a choice but now believe that there are factors that lead to it.. while im against the lifestyle I am tolerant and accepting of those who live that way.. the biggest problem I have with these therapies is that it can lead to a lot of pressure for people to change and they may act differently but not really be changed

Yup. Those straight people and their weird lifestyle choice. I really can't understand how they live that way either. I'm tolerant of them because some of my best friends are straight, and they seem like nice enough folks. Still. I pity them because they were obviously influenced by the straight culture that surrounds them.

Just saw this. You won the thread.

rileamoyer

No expert here, I just know that every gay person I ever met has always felt attraction toward's the same sex. Though I do know sometimes kids might experiment with both out of curiosity before they finally settle in. I think that is normal too. I don't agree with forcing change on folks. We used to change lefties to righties but now we don't. Duh

FrenchMob

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Disclaimer - I don't care what sexual preference anyone is, but don't get me started on religion - those are the nut jobs.

Going4Lean

Yah, we choose to be gay because we like getting harassed and treated like crap.

stephdeeable

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

I never saw people on the street with signs that say "God Hates Straights" either...

cncrafton

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Every day is a straight pride parade. Heterosexual people dominate every single aspect of our society and are allowed and encouraged to exhibit pride in their orientation by things as simple as holding hands with their significant other in public without a second thought.

firstsip

if you are gay...good.

if you are straight...good.

But why on god's green earth do some gays (sorry but it seems gays do it more than straights) have to constantly announce their sexual orientation.

can you imagine if straight people suddenly started announcing they are straight as often as gays have to announce their choice?

and the flamboyant gays. They seem to be flaunting for the sole purpose of flaunting. it's tiring. stop it.

Look up heteronormativity. Good. Got it?

Now do you realize that, because something is not the norm, it appears to be "flaunting" to you, but you are so immersed in culture that promotes "one man + one woman," you don't realize that it's everywhere?

BoatReadyBody

"And YET, there is a real and constant fear among many LGBT people, myself included, for living an open lifestyle. I've been married for 5 years, have two kids, and I don't feel safe holidng hands with my partner. But, apparently, if I do, some dip-s#it thinks I'm flaunting it."


to the Op of this quote Nobody should have to fear teaching their childern how to love. I am sorry you do.

Dennish68

I would not normally post about something so controversial, but as a gay man i feel it is my duty. This is my experience and i am going to be opening myself up because i think it is important. I have always known i was gay or "different" ever since i can remember, Even at 4 or 5 years old, i remember being attracted to boys and i really knew it at like 12 when i hit puberty. So as far as sexual orientation, I believe i have been gay my whole life. For those who commented that some people are gay because of being preyed upon as a child are just plain wrong. I know because i was molested as a 6 year old by older kids in my neighborhood. I was forced to give one of them oral sex or get beat up. I should have just let them kick my a** because i got teased all through school to the point that i had to change schools once i hit high school. The point i want to make here is that, while the molestation had an effect on how i perceived sex, it did not MAKE me gay. LIke i said, i already had those feelings before that happened. What it did do was make me view sex in an unhealthy way and as a young teen i became very promiscuous because of it. Also, It has made it tough for me to sustain a healthy, loving realtionship with other men. That also comes from having a dominant mother and a passive dad though i believe as well. If i was straight and this happened as a young boy, i would have just been promiscuous with girls instead of guys. So basically, i always have been and always will be a gay man. What happened to me as a 6 year old boy, ONLY changed my views on sex, it did not MAKE me like boys. I hope this clears things up for some people.

diodelcibo

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

I never saw people on the street with signs that say "God Hates Straights" either...

I have it was quite funny .

Elzecat

Well a lesbian girlfriend of mine told me she absolutely chose to be with women only because she'd been abused by several men in her childhood and said she would never trust a man nor would she ever want to be naked with one. I'm not saying that's everyone's experience, but it is hers.

That would only explain why she *isn't with men*, not why she would have a sexual attraction to females. At best, that explanation would mean she's asexual.

Being sexually attracted to your own gender/sex is not the same as NOT being attracted to the opposite.

Agree w/Kenneth--being abused is NOT generally going to "cause" someone to be gay. That's an old stereotype that really should have died by now I have a good friend who was abused as a child, but I am not totally sure that caused her to be who she is She has been attracted to men (at least she's told me that) but has never had a relationship, dated, or done anything sexual with either a man or a woman, and she's in her 40s. She is the only person in my life I would consider "asexual."

Heather_Rider

I stopped reading as soon as i saw "Dr. Oz"

Sorry.

Elzecat

I would not normally post about something so controversial, but as a gay man i feel it is my duty. This is my experience and i am going to be opening myself up because i think it is important. I have always known i was gay or "different" ever since i can remember, Even at 4 or 5 years old, i remember being attracted to boys and i really knew it at like 12 when i hit puberty. So as far as sexual orientation, I believe i have been gay my whole life. For those who commented that some people are gay because of being preyed upon as a child are just plain wrong. I know because i was molested as a 6 year old by older kids in my neighborhood. I was forced to give one of them oral sex or get beat up. I should have just let them kick my a** because i got teased all through school to the point that i had to change schools once i hit high school. The point i want to make here is that, while the molestation had an effect on how i perceived sex, it did not MAKE me gay. LIke i said, i already had those feelings before that happened. What it did do was make me view sex in an unhealthy way and as a young teen i became very promiscuous because of it. Also, It has made it tough for me to sustain a healthy, loving realtionship with other men. That also comes from having a dominant mother and a passive dad though i believe as well. If i was straight and this happened as a young boy, i would have just been promiscuous with girls instead of guys. So basically, i always have been and always will be a gay man. What happened to me as a 6 year old boy, ONLY changed my views on sex, it did not MAKE me like boys. I hope this clears things up for some people.

Thank you for sharing that.

firstsip

I would not normally post about something so controversial, but as a gay man i feel it is my duty. This is my experience and i am going to be opening myself up because i think it is important. I have always known i was gay or "different" ever since i can remember, Even at 4 or 5 years old, i remember being attracted to boys and i really knew it at like 12 when i hit puberty. So as far as sexual orientation, I believe i have been gay my whole life. For those who commented that some people are gay because of being preyed upon as a child are just plain wrong. I know because i was molested as a 6 year old by older kids in my neighborhood. I was forced to give one of them oral sex or get beat up. I should have just let them kick my a** because i got teased all through school to the point that i had to change schools once i hit high school. The point i want to make here is that, while the molestation had an effect on how i perceived sex, it did not MAKE me gay. LIke i said, i already had those feelings before that happened. What it did do was make me view sex in an unhealthy way and as a young teen i became very promiscuous because of it. Also, It has made it tough for me to sustain a healthy, loving realtionship with other men. That also comes from having a dominant mother and a passive dad though i believe as well. If i was straight and this happened as a young boy, i would have just been promiscuous with girls instead of guys. So basically, i always have been and always will be a gay man. What happened to me as a 6 year old boy, ONLY changed my views on sex, it did not MAKE me like boys. I hope this clears things up for some people.

Thank you for sharing your story, and I'm so, so sorry for what you had to deal with.

Elzecat

I stopped reading as soon as i saw "Dr. Oz"

Sorry.

I kept reading because the topic is interesting to me, but I personally discount almost everything he says or writes.

Elzecat

if you are gay...good.

if you are straight...good.

But why on god's green earth do some gays (sorry but it seems gays do it more than straights) have to constantly announce their sexual orientation.

can you imagine if straight people suddenly started announcing they are straight as often as gays have to announce their choice?

and the flamboyant gays. They seem to be flaunting for the sole purpose of flaunting. it's tiring. stop it.

Look up heteronormativity. Good. Got it?

Now do you realize that, because something is not the norm, it appears to be "flaunting" to you, but you are so immersed in culture that promotes "one man + one woman," you don't realize that it's everywhere?

^^^^^^^^

megalin9

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Disclaimer - I don't care what sexual preference anyone is, but don't get me started on religion - those are the nut jobs.

This bigoted attitude towards all people of faith bothers me as much as the bigoted attitudes of some people of faith to gay people. Not all people of faith carry around signs saying "God hates gays." Not all of us are nut jobs.

MissKitty9

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Are you people serious? This is like asking why there's a BET channel, & why don't white people have their own TV channel? Hint: EVERY CHANNEL IS A WHITE PEOPLE CHANNEL.

Likewise, every day is "hetero pride" day. We live in a hetero-normative culture.

jlapey

I was married to and have a daughter with my high school sweetheart. We divorced and I was later engaged to another man. Nice guy, too much baggage, we broke up. For the last 10 years, I've been very happily involved in a committed relationship with a woman. For me, it's not so much 'sexual' orientation as I love who I love for their individuality not their gender. When I was in the ninth grade, I was simultaneously crushing on my female algebra teacher and the boy who sat next to me in that same class. Soooo...what's my orientation?

tinak33

It has never been scientifically proven that you are "born gay". There are no gay genetics.
You are just born.

I believe that everyone has same-sex attractions. Some people deny them and move forward towards opposite sex attractions right away and some people don't.
That's what I think.

I also believe that reparative therapy can help some people. While there are people who feel shamed into "turning straight", I also believe that there are people who feel shame in "playing gay". I know a lot of people are saying that they don't choose to be gay and no one really does because of the drama and hardships that they will face. But there are also those people who may have "come out of the closet" at an early age, and later on want to change. If they want to make that change, why shouldn't they? And why should they feel shame in wanting that?
Don't we all have the Constitutional right to pursue happiness? If one is happy remaining gay, then thats wonderful. But if one is unhappy and wishes to make a lifestyle change and move towards "straight-ville", why should they feel shame in that?

I really think the fear and shaming goes both ways...

While I admire your preaching of leaving others alone and everyone deserves to find happiness, I HAVE to point out...

There is actually a steady stream of research on the biological and genetic nature of homosexuality; I don't think that needs to change the core belief of, "There is nothing wrong with being any other orientation than straight, and there should be nothing stopping people from pursuing this," but it's worth noting that the research IS there, and because something is not yet completely proven does not make it any less scientific (gravity and evolution are just theories; that doesn't make them "not real"). Edited to say: As others have pointed out, it's not necessarily FULLY biological, either. Nurture and Nature are vital parts of the formation of, well, a human as they become human.

Similarly, you're falling into that awful trap of "lifestyle." You seriously said, "If someone wants to change their lifestyle, what's wrong with that?" There is no "gay" lifestyle, just like there is no "straight" lifestyle. A sexual orientation is not a lifestyle; if, as a straight person, someone is living every choice they make based off their attraction to the opposite sex, then that would be a lifestyle--their life is styled around that key factor. Do you do that? Does anyone seriously live every aspect of their life around their orientation? No. It shapes their life, it influences their life, but unless they are literally opening the fridge and thinking, "I'm gay and I want to drink milk because I'm gay and then eat cereal with that milk because I'm gay," then it's a FACET of who they are, not their entire LIFE.

Just wanted to say that I am not trying to "preach". Just giving my opinion. Not saying that my opinion is right or wrong. Everyone has a right to their own opinion.

I also want to point out that I never said there wasn't research being done. There has been research being done on this for YEARS. I'm just saying that after so many years, it's still not proven. And because it's still not proven, we can't say it's in the genes because there is no "gay gene". I'm not saying that it won't be proven in the future. Maybe it will. But I'm not a scientist. I just know that it hasn't been proven yet.

Also, my apologies for use of the word "lifestyle". That was a misunderstanding. But keep in mind that I am also generalizing. For some people it's an absolute. But maybe for some people it is a lifestyle. Maybe for those people, this therapy is helpful. We can't know the hearts and minds of every individual. Please note my use of the word "maybe". Again. Not saying it's the same for everyone.

FrenchMob

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Every day is a straight pride parade. Heterosexual people dominate every single aspect of our society and are allowed and encouraged to exhibit pride in their orientation by things as simple as holding hands with their significant other in public without a second thought.

Sorry that doesn't cut it. Nothing is stopping you from holding the hand of your loved one while walking on the street.

tinak33

I was married to and have a daughter with my high school sweetheart. We divorced and I was later engaged to another man. Nice nice, too much baggage, we broke up. For the last 10 years, I've been very happily involved in a committed relationship with a woman. For me, it's not so much 'sexual' orientation as I love who I love for their individuality not their gender. When I was in the ninth grade, I was simultaneously crushing on my female algebra teacher and the boy who sat next to me in that same class. Soooo...what's my orientation?

You love people for who they are.

stephdeeable

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Every day is a straight pride parade. Heterosexual people dominate every single aspect of our society and are allowed and encouraged to exhibit pride in their orientation by things as simple as holding hands with their significant other in public without a second thought.

Sorry that doesn't cut it. Nothing is stopping you from holding the hand of your loved one while walking on the street.

Have you ever been beaten or harassed for doing so? Fear stops many people from showing affection in public.

FrenchMob

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Are you people serious? This is like asking why there's a BET channel, & why don't white people have their own TV channel? Hint: EVERY CHANNEL IS A WHITE PEOPLE CHANNEL.

Likewise, every day is "hetero pride" day. We live in a hetero-normative culture.

Seriously? This is the best answer you can come up with? Hardly a valid argument.

tinak33

Speaking of flaunting, what's with the pride parades? I never saw a hetero pride parade.

Disclaimer - I don't care what sexual preference anyone is, but don't get me started on religion - those are the nut jobs.

This bigoted attitude towards all people of faith bothers me as much as the bigoted attitudes of some people of faith to gay people. Not all people of faith carry around signs saying "God hates gays." Not all of us are nut jobs.

Agreed.

fishgutzy

"Therapy" suggests a malfunction, something that needs corrected.

Sexual orientation does not need to be corrected. Anything claiming it can do so is just a shaming tactic designed to shove obvious behaviors under the rug.

Funny. This is the same argument used by NAMBLA and other pedophile organizations.
I doubt very much that the "tolerant" crowd would tolerate a pervert seducing their children in the name of being tolerant of other people's sexual orientation.

lachesissss

I can't believe that Dr. Oz has found a new low, but I am continually surprised, much to my dissapointment. I am sorry, why can't we live and let live? Why can't everyone have the same basic civil rights? Why does it matter. Why do we have to box and categorize individuals, to whose benefit? The thought of radically changing someones behavior to fit a societal ideal is oppressive and dangerous. I'm sorry, but I find the whole idea incredibly distasteful and harmful.

firstsip

"Therapy" suggests a malfunction, something that needs corrected.

Sexual orientation does not need to be corrected. Anything claiming it can do so is just a shaming tactic designed to shove obvious behaviors under the rug.

Funny. This is the same argument used by NAMBLA and other pedophile organizations.
I doubt very much that the "tolerant" crowd would tolerate a pervert seducing their children in the name of being tolerant of other people's sexual orientation.

Excuse me, sir, do you know what a "Slippery Slope" argument is?

BurtHuttz

Excuse me, sir, do you know what a "Slippery Slope" argument is?

Don't bother; his inability to see the clear and bold distinction in the first place means you'll just be pissing in the wind.