Sexual Orientation Changed Through Reparative Therapy?

thechubner

I honestly think some people are born with the tendency towards same sex attraction - these can be brough out more by different environmental factors, however, I don't think anyone can choose whether or not to be attracted to someone. It's the same principal as with all attraction. We're attracted to people who have qualities we find appealing. These feelings can be suppressed for the right reasons (for example if you're in a monogomous relationship you might be attracted to other people, but choose not to act on those feelings in order to preserve the relationship you're in). I think some people born with same sex attraction choose to suppress it for a variety of reasons - and I think that if a consenting adult wishes to live that way (although it might seem like a sad life) that's their choice. I am in favor of banning it for children, however, because let's face it - growing up (especially during the teen years) is hard enough. This is even more so a child is struggling with being gay (which especially in the complicate and offen highly pressurized environment of highschool) it's just not fair to put even more burden on a child trying to convince them they're something that they're not.

I don't think it's possible to go from gay to straight (or from straight to gay for that matter) - I think we're born with the attractions we carry with us our whole lives. The only thing we can control is our behavior and how we act on certain feelings. I believe a gay person can choose not to act on those feelings, and even choose to start a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, but it's the behavior not the person's attraction that changes.

pyrowill

I imagine its a very hard thing to test for or study. I guess if there was an island say just of gay men, and suddenly each couple was given a one week old male baby. And raised it, would all the male babies grow up 'being gay'? I don't know. Don't even know if i care that much. Each to their own, we are all the same anyway. Except me, I'm awesome.

OllyReeves

I believe it's a combination of genetics, choice, and upbringing.
That being said, I believe someone can change their orientation if they WANT to, but why would they want to if they like what they like? That therapy crap is about forcing a change, which will obviously never work.

And this is exactly why the world is a frightening place......Just unbelievable.

Could you change your sexuality if you wanted to?

Sweet_Potato

when I said "flaunting it" I was referring to the guys who wear extravagant make up...sashay when they walk...that is flaunting. holding hands etc is not what I meant

Maybe they do that because they want to. Because they like to do that. Because they don't live their lives to please ignorant people who would like to deny them their right to do whatever they please when it's not hurting a single person.

The ones that flaunt it are a minority. For every gay person that's making a big deal about their sexuality there must be a dozen or so that are low-key and normal about it (like me), and many more that are actively hiding their sexuality because their environment is not supportive of it. You would think all gay people are flaunting if you're assuming the ones who don't are straight, but that's not the case at all.

skittles1928

Being gay doesn't stop someone from marrying a woman and having a family if he feels like he has to do it to be "normal". Even if reparative therapy allows him to do so, he'll likely still have sexual urges towards men that will leave him feeling repressed and miserable, most likely. Same for women.

cncrafton

I am gay. I was raised in a VERY conservative, Christian household, and everything about my environment, upbringing, and socialization taught me that it was a choice, and that it was wrong. I denied being gay for a few years (I just had a lot of "girl crushes"), but eventually I just knew that it was what it was and I couldn't change it. When I came out in my late teens, everyone thought I was just rebelling and would go back to 'normal' with time.

Didn't happen. I am queer and I am happy and I look forward to being a lifelong homo. :P

As an aside, I get what people mean when they say that no one would CHOOSE to be gay, but it still makes me sad. I don't want queerness to be a sad thing for anyone. I don't think there's anything more beautiful than living your truth and I hate that so many people feel that they are in between self-loathing in the closet and hatred from others when they come out. I LOVE being gay. I LOVE IT. Given the opportunity, I would not choose to be straight. I'd much rather change our bigoted, heterocentric society than change myself.

dlyeates

While I do not believe in the premise of the Reparative Therapy I also believe there are many factors that lead to a homosexual lifestyle.

And I may not agree with the lifestyle choice (term used by my gay friends.....not my "choice" of terms) I have not nor will I ever disrespect, bash or do anything negatively against anyone who is LGBT, etc. I believe that the simple fact that you are a human being (no matter if I agree or like your beliefs/lifestyle/partners/etc) that you deserve respect.

I have a few very close gay friends who know this about me and know that I love them for who they are and that who they sleep with does not factor into the fact that I love them for the person they are.

I think it takes a small minded person to say I'm not going to like someone because they are gay. The same way people say I don't like someone because they are.........Straight, female, male, Republican, Democrat, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, tall, short, etc. I'm not interested in the choices, genetic, born with, etc. arguments. I will love a person because they are here on this Earth.....the other stuff is just a small part of who they are, not the whole of who they are!!!

ericachristie85

I think we all end up somewhere on a spectrum of totally straight to totally gay with some of us landing square in the middle, some leaning one way or the other only mildly etc... I do believe our social experiences and pressures lead us more in one direction or another though.

THIS!!!

OllyReeves

Oh my goodness i've just read on and realised that the post I picked up on is the tip of the iceberg.....It really is astonishing how stupid and judgemental some people are.....It honestly beggars belief. I love reading how people are telling us they are going to be tolerant of gay people like they are doing them a favour...IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!!

Eurgh people really make me sick.

ahviendha

i think everyone's on a scale, kinsey style. but just like i didn't choose to be straight i don't think people choose to be gay. it's just the cards we were dealt.

cncrafton

And by the way, everyone who is posting that they might disagree with the 'lifestyle' but they are 'tolerant' and believe that those misguided gays still deserve respect...? Do you want a cookie? Congrats on being an almost-decent-but-not-quite person.

pyrowill

I wish I was a lesbian.

Steellotus

i like carrots, but i don't like brussel sprouts. Do I need therapy too?

Izzwoz

i like carrots, but i don't like brussel sprouts. Do I need therapy too?

Most definitely, how can you be so discriminating against the poor sprouts! It is not their fault that they flaunt their green, healthy cabbaginess in the face of the carrots at every xmas!

mikeyboy

So by this way of thinking, are bi people half way done with therapy, or influenced by too many people? Plus, who cares as long as people are happy? We should get along because we are humans, not because we are tolerant.

Ge0rgiana

I believe it's a combination of genetics, choice, and upbringing.
That being said, I believe someone can change their orientation if they WANT to, but why would they want to if they like what they like? That therapy crap is about forcing a change, which will obviously never work.

So, you choose your orientation?

PetulantOne

Dr. Oz has had too much red raspberry ketone.

^This

SUPERKBDIRECTOR

I'm happy to see tolerance on the forum. I appreciate that some people do not agree with a lifestyle choice, but are willing to publicly state they accept homosexuality as something that just is. I am no expert, and haven't formally studied the issue, and there are smarter people on here than me (and Dr. Oz) that could probably discuss this issue better. My attitude toward being gay has evolved somewhat over the years, but I've never been able to make sense of the notion that someone could *choose* their sexual identity.

I think the idea of "reparative therapy" is fear and shame-based. The name alone implies something is "broken" and needs repairing. I think there are people who may be gay but live a straight lifestyle because they are surrounded by intolerance and ignorance, or maybe simply scared of their own truth. In my opinion, that's what needs repairing. I can't imagine denying something so fundamental about who you are and trying to live a life against that.

Sir, you seem extremely intelligent to me! Very well said :happy:

tinak33

It has never been scientifically proven that you are "born gay". There are no gay genetics.
You are just born.

I believe that everyone has same-sex attractions. Some people deny them and move forward towards opposite sex attractions right away and some people don't.
That's what I think.

I also believe that reparative therapy can help some people. While there are people who feel shamed into "turning straight", I also believe that there are people who feel shame in "playing gay". I know a lot of people are saying that they don't choose to be gay and no one really does because of the drama and hardships that they will face. But there are also those people who may have "come out of the closet" at an early age, and later on want to change. If they want to make that change, why shouldn't they? And why should they feel shame in wanting that?
Don't we all have the Constitutional right to pursue happiness? If one is happy remaining gay, then thats wonderful. But if one is unhappy and wishes to make a lifestyle change and move towards "straight-ville", why should they feel shame in that?

I really think the fear and shaming goes both ways...

mikeyboy

i like carrots, but i don't like brussel sprouts. Do I need therapy too?

Hey! Sprouts are veggies too!