DO I POOP WRONG?

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  • emczech5
    emczech5 Posts: 224 Member
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    I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face and at almost 9 months pregnant I better quit laughing and run to the bathroom soon so I don't end up with tears running down my legs too.
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
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    I squatted a lot throughout Asia last year, and I tell you now I'd rather have pooper problems than squat over a hole in the ground again... if you don't have good aim or explosive anything then it's gonna end up down your leg, over your trousers and it's a delightful smell to be carrying around with you all day. The other problem is your legs can get tired if you're going for a marathon dump so you rush things along, which isn't a good thing... A good old seat and newspaper is the way forward... a nice leisurely poop to start the day right instead of balancing on the edge of doom trying to get your aim straight!

    This is my favourite post on this entire forum.

    Sir, you deserve a medal.

    I am no sir... I am a lady... But I will take your medal because I feel like I took risks with my life in these places! The best place was on trains in India... that is just a hole in the floor with the tracks going past and being thrown about by the train... forget the fact these places don't do toilet roll, it's a left hand wash/wipe job unless I've passed through somewhere with paper and nicked it... I still steal toilet roll now months after leaving...

    She doesn't know how to use the sea shells, hahaha.
  • trud72
    trud72 Posts: 1,912 Member
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    But this only applies to men. Correct? Because we all know women don't poop... or fart... or belch for that matter.

    Those are called blowup dolls.... and if they fart you need a new one

    Well thank you gorilla. I am glad someone talks sence x :love:
  • PamelaKuz
    PamelaKuz Posts: 191 Member
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    No.

    Most people do not sit on the toilet with exceptional back posture as though they are the Queen of England. Leaning forward fulfills the same positioning as a traditional squat when it comes to excretion.

    What? I thought you were supposed to, it is called the Throne, isn't it?

    Someone better contact the queen and tell her to lean forward!
  • HealthyBodySickMind
    HealthyBodySickMind Posts: 1,207 Member
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    It's Friday, and I need this thread up and running.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    It's Friday, and I need this thread up and running.

    Are you sure "running" is what you are going for here? Try prune juice.
  • MissyJessy
    MissyJessy Posts: 1,279 Member
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    I stand and put one foot up on the sink.

    Do I win?

    No. Because I poop in my microwave. That's the only thing that deathbox is safe for.

    I win

    YEAHHH Fist bump on bringing back the Deathbox term again! EFF YEAH
  • dschassie
    dschassie Posts: 192 Member
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    This is by FAR the funniest "s-h-i-t" I have seen on MFP. You can't help but read the hole darn thread and laugh so hard. I would now consider myself a well-educated pooper!
  • chrissyw63
    chrissyw63 Posts: 147 Member
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    Knowedge for life!

    I just spent a good five minutes crying from all the laughing. I guess I missed the grown up bus somewhere ... Glad I did though otherwise I'd never of known all these fancy poop tricks!
  • goddessofsewing
    goddessofsewing Posts: 110 Member
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    Please, PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one to find the videos on the original article. No need to read or watch, just scroll down to the videos and look at the expression on the guy's face: hemorrhoids and relief. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/12/03/toilet-squatting-position.aspx
  • cmpollard01
    cmpollard01 Posts: 246
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    I am crying from laughing so hard ... this thread made my entire day :smooched:

    I am in the same condition...with 3 people looking at me like I've lost my mind.

    At least now I know what I've been doing wrong all this time! :sad:
  • PottsvilleCurse1925
    PottsvilleCurse1925 Posts: 354 Member
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    *bump*
  • BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY
    BACONJOKESRSOFUNNY Posts: 666 Member
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    Thank God for this info! A TRUE LIFESAVER!
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
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    My *kitten* thanks you all. TWSS
  • determinedbutlazy
    determinedbutlazy Posts: 1,941 Member
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    I lived in China for a year and I now live in Japan... In China it was almost exclusively squat toilets and, although I HATED them, my thighs got pretty strong.
    There's less of them here in Japan, but they still taunt me from the stalls occasionally... YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO SQUAAAAT.
  • fIashforward
    fIashforward Posts: 66 Member
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    Read this a few years ago but you can't read the paper as easily if you're quatting icer a hole in the ground lol
  • tommygirl15
    tommygirl15 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    Well, that was 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back.
  • PottsvilleCurse1925
    PottsvilleCurse1925 Posts: 354 Member
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    *bump*
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
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    bump
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    While I've never actually tried to squat to poop, I've certainly tried to squat while trying to write my name in the snow. My first name is Carolyn. My thighs went into vapor lock on the upswing of the letter "l", so I ended up toppling over into the snow, getting a slight case of frost bite in a very private area. However, I got a big laugh at the gyno's office when I told him the story. I even worked the term "papsicle" into the conversation.

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