Do you feel like the weight will cure your "ugliness" ?

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Replies

  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
    Wow. This is all so sad. I'm a very attractive person. I'm just a little heavier than I'd like to be. I bet none of you is actually ugly. Just because you don't look like <insert bony model here> it doesn't mean you're not beautiful. :flowerforyou:
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
    I feel like I'd feel more optimistic with clothes since I have such an awkward body/fat placement that clothes my size now will still fit me dumb, and losing those problem areas will give me more confidence with my wardrobe. But with feeling pretty.... nah. I can't stand my huge filipino goomba nose.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    Well, I never felt ugly. I just felt fat. So yes, once I got rid of all the excess fat, I felt better, happier with more energy. More confident and positive.

    New clothes helped too. Feels great to wear cute stuff again instead of trying to hide my belly!
  • many_splendored
    many_splendored Posts: 113 Member
    I just feel so insecure and unattractive all the time and I used to say "Okay, when the weight comes off I'll be prettier." But those two times I lost 20 pounds? I still felt.. Ugly. Do you feel the same? Maybe I'm just insecure all the way around.

    This is a hard one - and I admit, I was worried about this same thing when I first considered attempting major weight loss, that it would turn out I actually had bad features that the fat was hiding. Part of what finally changed my mind was someone who was attracted to me saying "Look, you ARE attractive, that's just simple fact." Since he didn't put any conditions on my attractiveness based on my weight, I came back to the loss process with the thought of "I *am* beautiful, and this is just helping me maintain it" instead of "WHAT IF I LOOK LIKE A FREAK WHEN I'M SKINNY!"

    To get back to the point, I think it would help you to find a good support system - someone who knows that you struggle with your self-image and understands that, but is still willing to build you up. No point in being around negative folks, ya know?
  • _Katastrophic
    _Katastrophic Posts: 98
    I never feel ugly
  • Healthydiner65
    Healthydiner65 Posts: 1,552 Member
    Maybe you should get help with these issues. Loving yourself is essential for your happiness!
  • sophayz
    sophayz Posts: 592 Member
    working on your body is one thing , working on your body image is a whole different story , i know i lost 69 pounds (yay almost 70!) and i had a boob job and i still feel disgusted with myself and see myself as a fat *kitten* ... its all in the head and i know and everybody tells me but it just wont really get into my head ... with time maybe :flowerforyou: we have to remember that we are beautiful
  • NocturnalGirl
    NocturnalGirl Posts: 1,762
    Generally speaking, weight loss tends to help with confidence, but it won't change your features. You need to accept yourself and love yourself from the beginning, not wait till you lose weight. You are not ugly, nobody is ugly. Try pampering yourself, wear pretty clothes, etc; there are simple things that can enhance your confidence. I don't think I'm ugly, not at any weight, but I do realise that my main reason to lose weight is to feel better about myself and more confident, I have no idea whether that will happen but I'm not sure that's a good enough reason.
  • Lisasfit
    Lisasfit Posts: 7
    Beauty is only skin deep! Confidence is beautiful and everyone is beautiful in their own way. Don't compare yourself to others! I've learned this lesson, even though I still struggle with how I look. You are all beautiful no matter what! :)
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
    i love my ugliness
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
    I go through periods of bad self image. I have really bad psoriasis and it's worse in places you guys don't want to see. Even if I would look nice in a swim suit I wouldn't wear one becasue of the psoriasis. But I am getting rid of my chipmunk cheeks and that was one of my goals.
  • MyM0wM0w
    MyM0wM0w Posts: 2,008 Member
    Do you feel like the weight will cure your "ugliness"?

    No.
  • SLRamirez2012
    SLRamirez2012 Posts: 297
    It sucks that we all feel this way, but at the same time, I feel it too. I just cried to my husband last night about it.. he doesn'twant me to get too skinny, and loved me before..and I feel I will never be good enough for him... and he tells me that I am the best looking woman that he has ever been with.... I just don't see it
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    beauty is who you are.

    the rest is BS.

    But i know what you mean. In some ways I feel sooooooo mcuch more confident- like in public or whatever. But in other ways, I feel just as insecure about my figure- mostly when it comes to men that I really really really want to find me attractive and they are looking at models with air brushed photos... I just can't compare to that. I can't. I'm real and human and i'll never be picture perfect.

    So yes. And no. And in the end, I just want to say, that what makes you beautiful is who you are. Because the people who love me for who I am are the people I want to share myself with. Now i get all sorts of attention from men who couldn't care less about the things that I think make me awesome- they just think I'm cute. I don't want to be with someone who only likes me because they think I'm cute. I won't be cute when I'm 80 (unless I'm ernestine shephard! LOL!)

    ETA: fyi I lost 50 lbs on MFP and am basically at my GW and am now focusing on body composition...so I speak from having already lost the weight.
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
    I was unaware that I was ugly! :sad: None of you are ugly, by the way!!! It's all mental f**kery! If you don't think you are the hottest piece in the room, no one else is going to think so either.......

    :flowerforyou:
  • gingerveg
    gingerveg Posts: 748 Member
    working on your body is one thing , working on your body image is a whole different story , i know i lost 69 pounds (yay almost 70!) and i had a boob job and i still feel disgusted with myself and see myself as a fat *kitten* ... its all in the head and i know and everybody tells me but it just wont really get into my head ... with time maybe :flowerforyou: we have to remember that we are beautiful

    Yes, this does sound like a body image issue.
    Good luck OP
  • SugarBaby71
    SugarBaby71 Posts: 3,630 Member
    I used to think that I was 'okay'. Three kids and 15 years later I hated myself for 'letting myself go'. My husband constantly reminded me that I had gotten fat and was not attractive to him. Since losing about half the weight I want to lose I've all of a sudden become attractive to him again. The thing is, now I don't believe him and I don't believe if others say it either.
    I thought I would feel better and more confident, but the truth is, I don't. I look in the mirror and I still see the old me... I still head to the plus sized department at the store... I am hypersensitive to any criticism (husband kindly gave me his input yesterday as to why he thinks I've been gaining weight again) -I mean I always was super sensitive, but I'd basically say "f--- you" and hit the food. Now I feel alls sorts of shame and when I hit the food there's all sorts of other guilt associated with it.
  • Aviflora
    Aviflora Posts: 85 Member
    I think it all starts with a positive mentality. Most people lose weight for their health and/or for their body image, and there's no shame in that. However, I think you're relying on weight loss to change how you see yourself... You're just going to disappoint yourself.

    You gotta love who you are, and you gotta love your body. :)

    As for myself... I never considered myself ugly. Yes, I have my off days, but all in all, my confidence has soared even higher since losing some pounds. :)
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
    Happy = beautiful.
  • keith0373
    keith0373 Posts: 2,154 Member
    It will only help this face so much, but I can live with it.
  • c0ffee_l0ver
    c0ffee_l0ver Posts: 23 Member
    This kind of breaks my heart and I find it sad that only a handful of people responded with YOU ARE NOT UGLY. Having body image issues is a serious problem and losing weight or getting a makeover won't fix the underlying unhappiness. I tried losing weight to make me happy because I thought I was ugly. Then I realized that I'm really not and worked on being happy and loving myself. Because I love myself i want to take care of my body which resulted with natural weight loss. Keep in mind that you are not ugly-- nay sayers be damned! :-)
  • BrittKnee_Rae
    BrittKnee_Rae Posts: 111 Member
    Oh my, You are not ugly at all!! It is all in your mind! and yes it takes a while for your eyes and mind to catch up with the reality of losing weight!! But even at my heaviest, I viewed myself as "big and beautiful"!! Not vain, but a very confident big girl.. Self conscious in some ways, sure! But I can relate in the fact that the more weight I lose the more confidence I lose!! So weird I know!! I still find my self attractive. But not as confident and bold as I used to be!! -_-
  • sdavis448
    sdavis448 Posts: 193 Member
    I hope so??

    I've lost 70 lbs(gained back 10, so at 60 over all)

    When I look in the mirror I still see ugly, 300 lbs me, most of the time anyway.

    I'm beginning to think no amount of weight loss s going to make me like myself (appearance wise)
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,078 Member
    It takes awhile for the mind to catch up with your body. I have days i feel like i am lean and days i feel heavy.
    Sometimes now i think i look too lean and ugly. Maybe i have body dysmorphia
  • toriaenator
    toriaenator Posts: 423 Member
    at the end of the day, only an interior change will make you feel better; nothing on the outside will.
  • keith0373
    keith0373 Posts: 2,154 Member
    I would say that coffee_lover is cute, but no one wants to hear that from an old guy . . .hehe
  • gailmelanie
    gailmelanie Posts: 210 Member
    Losing weight will not change your self-perception all by itself. You are going to have to do some cognitive changes in the way you think about yourself and your self-talk. If every tiime you look in the mirror you say to yourself, "God, I'm ugly!" whether you're fat or thin, your self perception won't change. I know how that is because I've done it, too. Try this: Stand in front of the mirror and find a small or single part of you that you like, that pleases you in it's appearance. Focus on that part and admire it. Notice the detail of it and remember that small beauty every time you think, 'I'm ugly." Keep doing this, widening your focus until you find the limit of what you can admire. Keep admiring that part, knowing that it is part of YOU, reminding yourself that if some part of you is beautiful, you have beauty, no matter what you weigh. This doesn't cover the FEELING of ugliness. I know that, too, from experience. You will need to do a similar exercise to change that. Ask yourself what about you or your behavior is admirable. There may be several things. Now enhance that behavior or characteristic and practice it until it's really solidly part of you and your self-perception. If anyone ever gives you a spontaneous compliment of any kind, accept it. Yes, there are people who offer false flattery, but most people don't give false compliments. They usually have nothing to gain by doing that, so accept that they really mean it when they compliment you. Now you know someone else finds something about you or your appearance admirable. Add that to your list of admirable qualities and keep those in mind every time you feel ugly. If you keep doing this you might find that it is takes more energy to denigrate yourself all the time than to accept your beauty and admirability and be all that.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Is that you in the profile picture? If so, you are already very pretty. You have to love yourself now, or you will never love yourself when you lose weight. Know that you are beautiful. Act like you are beautiful.
  • Crowhorse
    Crowhorse Posts: 394 Member
    I definitely feel prettier when I am thinner since my face actually has some definition. When I gain weight, I tend to gain and lose fairly evenly all over, including my face, and my face tends to become shapeless and blob-like.

    Some people don't gain on their face and can still look beautiful, but I'm not one of those people.
  • geekpryncess
    geekpryncess Posts: 118 Member
    I don't think any of the people on here who perceive themselves as ugly or unattractive, are. If you take care of yourself, and have self-respect and dress nice, anyone can by attractive on the outside. It's the inside that you have to work on. But just know that you're here doing something for yourself, to become healthier. Life is too short to dwell too much on these kind of negative feelings. Trust me, most people who look at you aren't thinking about how you look (ie they aren't looking at you and thinking "she/he's ugly"...!) They are worried about themselves. You can choose to enjoy who you are today, and be happy, or you can choose to worry and fret about "being ugly" and waste all that emotional energy and in the end it won't even matter and nothing good comes of it. :)

    I personally don't feel like I'm ugly, I think I'm "average/pretty" and have no issues with my looks. I have my good days and bad, but in general I feel like I'm an attractive person. It's just my weight that I hate. And that's why I'm here. Yes, I'll be more confident and happier when I'm thinner, but I am still going to be me.

    And when you really feel down on yourself, take some time to look up half of these celebrities and models without makeup. Most of them are really pretty average looking!

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