Do you feel like the weight will cure your "ugliness" ?

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Replies

  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Yeah. I'm pretty sure I'll feel pretty once I've lost the weight. But who knows? Maybe I'll always feel hideous. >.<
  • Dawners98
    Dawners98 Posts: 120 Member
    Here's my take on it. I was fit in high school and gained all of my weight afterward. I was a confident, happy kid, and it took me 14 years to turn into the sad, standoffish, shy, fat girl I had become - which, btw, went COMPLETELY against my personality.

    I never considered myself to be a 'fat' or 'skinny' version of me. I just considered me, ME! So, now that I've lost weight, I still internally feel the same as I had grown accustomed to feeling with all the weight. I spent 14 years feeling that way, so I figure it'll take just as long, likely, to stop feeling like that shy, standoffish fat girl.

    Losing weight is not a cure all. It is a great step in the right direction to a healthy and happy life, but it will not magically change you from one person to another. I think that part, the getting to know yourself again and see yourself the way others see you, is harder than losing the weight in the first place.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
    Maybe I'm all into sunshine, flowers, rainbows, unicorns and skipping through meadows singing "la la la la" in a happy tune, but I don't think anyone who posted in this thread is "ugly". :flowerforyou: :heart: :love:

    You're only ugly, if your heart/attitude is.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    Well first of all, I am not ugly. Weightloss isn't going to change my features.

    That being said, I have flaws which I obsess about. I will never be perfect and it pisses me off. Nnothing is ever goig to change that. But I do know that despite the low self esteem, fundamentally I'm not ugly and it's unlikely I will become so.
  • illuminaughty576
    illuminaughty576 Posts: 63
    it makes me feel "pretty" for a little but i feel like a few more pounds and i'll hopefully be a little less insecure about somethings;/
  • greenmeena
    greenmeena Posts: 118 Member
    Well, OP, that is not at all how I view you. I can safely say that each and every 'before and after' post I see, I am struck by how gorgeous everyone is. Wanna know why? Because health, and pride in taking care of one's self and body, is BEAUTIFUL. I mean GORGEOUS. Seriously. So what if you don't have a perfect VS model's nose, or you have tiger stripes, or your waist isn't what you dreamed it would be. But you are healthy, and vibrant, and you gave a *kitten* enough to take care of yourself and go on this journey.

    It is normal for a person after a huge weight loss to still see a larger person in the mirror. That does fade with time, so the helpful part is to maintain the weightloss and know that your mind will gradually adjust to the "new you". It is a studied phenomena, actually. You're normal! You're ok! And I think you're beautiful, truly!

    Look at what qualities you love. Do you love your hair? Maybe your eyes? Focus on those things; buy new eyeliner, or some yummy hair products, and focus on those things.

    xoxo
  • Kamile69
    Kamile69 Posts: 87
    me too.... :-(
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
    I think I'm pretty. I just need to lose weight so I can get my confidence back. I think confidence is half of beauty, honestly.
  • pinkgumdrop123
    pinkgumdrop123 Posts: 262 Member
    i don't feel ugly. I just feel more self concious after losing almost 40 pounds. Its weird but Ill get over it
  • believeinwhatswithin
    believeinwhatswithin Posts: 1
    I have always thought I am not the shiniest apple in the basket. I guess that is just how it is, because it never seems to change. I haven't lost to much weight that is noticeable yet, but I think I will always feel the same way. I will just feel more confident in my health, but not necessarily my looks.
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
    I definitely feel prettier when I am thinner since my face actually has some definition. When I gain weight, I tend to gain and lose fairly evenly all over, including my face, and my face tends to become shapeless and blob-like.

    Some people don't gain on their face and can still look beautiful, but I'm not one of those people.

    I second this! My face gets fat and that is when I truly feel unattractive. Only a bit over a week in and my face looks a tiny bit thinner already. I can't stand having double chins and all that nonsense.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,281 Member
    At my age, I am not concerned about being "ugly" per se....I am just concerned about the effects aging will have on what is left of my body after I finish losing weight. The fat was keeping my skin firm....now its puckered and I am not happy with the result. But its still better than being fat. And I figure I will never look like I am 20 again anyway. Just want to be healthy and look good in clothes. :)
  • SteveK279
    SteveK279 Posts: 134 Member
    I agree - those who think they're ugly really aren't. I called over to my mother the other day to say hello & have a family dinner and she said something completely innocently but which might be relevant here. She told me I used to be better looking than my brother and wondered if I would be again after I've dropped the weight
  • mystiqu3
    mystiqu3 Posts: 8
    I think you should try changing your surroundings and do something you were not able to do when you were heavier. For example, run a 5K, go rock climbing, etc. As far as feeling ugly you have to do things that make you feel attractive ,ie dressing up, pamper day, etc.
  • LMick1986
    LMick1986 Posts: 431
    This makes me really sad that so many people have this hate for themselves. I understand it though. It takes more than just losing weight to feel confident in yourself. Sometimes it takes an incident.....sometimes it may just take time to finally feel like you're something special.
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
    For the record, OP, you are not ugly. But remember that beauty isn't only on the outside - it comes from within. I know that's cliche but it is TRUE.
  • bridgelene
    bridgelene Posts: 358 Member
    It makes me so sad that so many of you are feeling down on yourselves :frown:

    Me? I KNOW I'm a sexy beast.....I do acknowledge that I have some extra, but I'm still gorgeous! :glasses:
  • VeganZombie13
    VeganZombie13 Posts: 297
    It makes me so sad that so many of you are feeling down on yourselves :frown:

    Me? I KNOW I'm a sexy beast.....I do acknowledge that I have some extra, but I'm still gorgeous! :glasses:

    haha Right on!
  • victorialkay
    victorialkay Posts: 70
    I just feel so insecure and unattractive all the time and I used to say "Okay, when the weight comes off I'll be prettier." But those two times I lost 20 pounds? I still felt.. Ugly. Do you feel the same? Maybe I'm just insecure all the way around.

    Hi,

    I think the feelings of uglyness are stuck in your mind and losing weight has not solved the problem. Working on the real issue (which is the feelings of uglyness and insecurity) first will make you finally like and love yourself.

    Many people feel insecure but have a body that I am envous of but I also know people that are big and feel beautiful. It does not matter about someone's size but how they carry themselves.

    Have you ever thought of seeing a councellor or try to search the internet on ways to promote healthy body attitude.

    I believe everyone is beautiful and individual. And I really think that you should concentrate on things that you like about yourself. the world is your oyster, life is short so please do not waste it by hating yourself.

    So remember, love yourself, look after yourself and stay happy and healthy!!!

    You're beautiful!!


    Victoria.
  • RobinME
    RobinME Posts: 25 Member
    I KNOW exactly what you mean! I've lost 108 lbs and still all I see is the fat I still have to lose.
  • kittybabexo
    kittybabexo Posts: 34
    Yes, everytime i look in the mirror i think "when i lose weight i'll look better" :(
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
    The mental fat takes longer to lose than the physical fat.
  • pixtotts
    pixtotts Posts: 552 Member
    i worry sometimes about how i will look having lost weight...

    but i think its sad that people might be trying to loose weight to "cure ugliness" :(
  • aladams83
    aladams83 Posts: 47
    I know exactly how you feel. I keep telling myself that i'll feel better about myself... to date i've lost 55 lbs and when I look in the mirror 70% of the time I feel like I see the SAME 200 lb girl. Its so discouraging and disheartening. I'm still trying to lose 20 more lbs... hoping that it will help me JUST feel better about myself.
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
    Yes.... my weight loss in the past had been motivated by that. I told myself I was ugly and that when I lost weight I would be pretty.

    --- lost the weight later, still wasn't happy with myself.

    And then I started realizing beauty is more than skin deep. People are attracted to your personality. There might be some shallow people out there who have called you fat, but you're not worth their time.

    You're more than the number of calories you ate today, or your jean size.
    Learn to accept yourself, because you can't love something you hate.

    And you are very beautiful . Start telling yourself it 'til you believe it.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/IceyRain/view/how-to-care-for-yourself-during-a-bad-body-image-day-448223
  • twinmama1987
    twinmama1987 Posts: 566 Member
    the 2 are not related to me....
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    This is really going to sound weird, but until I started doing yoga I really didn't like my exterior, fat or thin. Now with the weight off, I like that it is easier to do yoga and barre3 and walk. not to mention wearing clothes 5 sizes smaller!

    I think Bakkasan said it best above --- "The mental fat takes longer to lose than the physical fat"..

    I adjusted to the physical fat by moving to another closet and/or giving away all my "bigger clothes". I am only buying clothes that 1) fit and 2) make me feel beautiful. I am also doing Project 333 so I don't get carried away with this.

    Celebrate the beautiful individual you as well as the people around you. And say that back to me if I have a bad moment - we all have them.
  • Galathea96
    Galathea96 Posts: 200 Member
    I don't think I'm ugly per se, however I find it hard to think I look good. It's not just about looks for me though. I'm generally not satisfied with myself. Seems like everything I do and am everyone else in my family can do better.

    The highlight was when my uncle called me ugly to my face. He told me that if he wasn't my uncle and saw me on the street, he wouldn't look twice and that I was unnatural since I don't wear make up.
  • taelardinois
    taelardinois Posts: 30 Member
    For the record, OP, you are not ugly. But remember that beauty isn't only on the outside - it comes from within. I know that's cliche but it is TRUE.

    This is true. Try to find some things that you really like about yourself, like if you have great hair, pretty eyes, or you know how to put together a great outfit. Focus on that and build your confidence up. And don't beat yourself up so much. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone's concept is different but the one thing that people always find attractive is confidence and kindness.
  • victorialkay
    victorialkay Posts: 70
    It makes me sad that only a couple posters on here said that you have to love yourself first.

    We are all beautiful people. You have to find what makes you beautiful and focus on that. Yes, there are going to be times when you think you look pretty crappy. But, I can guarantee that that will happen no matter what size you are.

    You are the only you that will ever exist. Embrace and love yourself first, accept your body for what it is and be thankful it works.

    Then you can move forward and make improvements!

    Be strong everyone! We are all fantastic! :)

    What she said!! lol!! Come on folks, why should we hate ourselve!!! What i think and what you think is beautiful will proberbly be different, which is nice!!!

    I weigh 197 pounds now but used to weigh 210 pounds, I used to get alot of attention then being bigger. I know it's because of my personality because, I like to chat and have a laugh. Yer some guys did say, I do like you but I prefer thinner girls. but what I'm trying to say is big, medium small, we all should love ourselves.

    PROMTOTE HEALTHY HAPPY ATTITUDES!!! We should have self esteem taught in schools. xx:heart:

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