Do you feel like the weight will cure your "ugliness" ?

thedreamhazer

losing weight wont cure ugliness. Know what will cure ugliness? Taking the time along the way, while you are losing weight, to build up your self-love, confidence, esteem, discipline, will power, determination, sense of self and personal pride. Spend the time proving to yourself that you are capable of beautiful powerful things.

Eventually it will start to change your inside to match your outside.

Or you could just bank on the scale fixing all your problems by showing you some magic number. Yeah you weigh the number you want, but you ignored all the mental things you were supposed to be handling and you didnt get stronger so now youre this droopy weak thing that weighs a perfect 110 pounds....

personally I prefer becoming more awesome everyday on my own terms.

So true. I was lucky enough to know from the beginning that more than I needed to go to the gym to fix myself of ugliness, I needed to work on stopping the negative self talk. You can't try to fix the inside by changing the outside. You can weigh that perfect *whatever* weight, but if you're still calling yourself fat and ugly at every turn then you're never going to feel good.

Those corny things like complimenting yourself, writing yourself kind notes, thinking of two things nice for everyone one thing negative that you say about yourself -- they actually work. But changing the way you talk to yourself takes just as much effort as going to the gym or dieting -- and most of the time it takes even more.

bridgelene

......And I do not believe that anyone who can look in a mirror and legitimately use the word "hate" to describe what they see is in a position to be able to tackle weight loss and fitness in a healthy way.

So true!

cloe31

I think we all feel that way sometimes. Some days I feel like I am one hot sexy mama and some days not so much. What worked for me to get my self esteem a little higher was that every time some one gives me a compliment I say Thank You. At first I never believed them but because I said Thank you so many times my brain is starting to catch on.

Start small pick something you love about yourself and each month of two add on that.
You can do it.
You are very attractive and you should let know one tell you different including yourself.

StaceyJ2008

I think that the years of garbage I have gone through with relationships as well as daily encounters with random people have made me feel unattractive. Sometimes I think that when the rest of the weight comes off I will feel better about myself but the fact is I have lost over 100 pounds and I still see that extremely large girl when I look in the mirror.

I am still in the middle of the emotional process of losing weight. I think at first I didn't want to go through this leg of the journey but it is helping my self image bit by bit. It takes a while but as every pound or inch comes off, I try to think of a time in my life where I was put down or I felt bad about myself and I make peace with that moment and let it go like that weight. It does help.

It also helps to write it all out.

AmberLee2012

Sometimes I think you have to fake it til you make it as far as confidence goes. Start saying positive things to yourself in the mirror today like the fact that you have beautiful eyes or a pretty smile and go from there. I used to have the when I weigh this much I will finally be happy and pretty attitude, but it doesn't work out so well, because your happiness is conditional on weight loss. You can always find that one body part that you are unhappy with and end up focusing in that even when you lose the weight you want. You just have to own your look and start acting confident and proud. I swear it takes time but it really does work. Age may have something to do with it as well. When I was in my 20s I always felt insecure. Now that I am in my early 30s I am starting to love and appreciate me. I still have days where I feel like everything in my closet looks horrible on me, but most days, I feel like I look good and my husband reinforces that I look great everyday. A good man can do a lot for your self-esteem too, but mostly, it's about flipping your attitude. You get one body and one life and there is no sense in spending it unhappy. Make the changes to get healthy and fit, but love you starting now.

xPeaceLuvVeggiesx

Always.

gonnamakeanewaccount

I definitely feel that once I get to my goal weight, my self-esteem issues will disappear. I already like my face. I have pretty blue eyes, pale skin, and black hair. I really do like the way my face looks, so once my body gets up to par, I don't see why I would still feel ugly.

Natihilator

I used to think that losing weight would solve SO many of my problems, that my confidence would sky rocket, and I'd get all the opportunities for whatever I wanted that I didn't get when I was obese.

And then realizing that losing this weight won't really do any of that, because my problems are not on the outside but in my own head, was really hard for me to grapple with. Because it meant that I have to go through a process that is sosososo much harder than and not as straightforward as physically losing weight.

curvychaos

I guess I'm different. I made a pact with myself to love myself and what I look like the whole way. I've never understood why guys were physically attracted to me. My personality rocks, though. I think the whole journey is easier if you love yourself at every stage. You start throwing around "hate" and I think it harms the process. Sure, I see my belly and my thighs and think, "C'mon you guys, get it together." But I truly believe loving my body has made this whole thing so much easier.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Therapy. No matter the size I've never felt "ugly" or perpetually unattractive. Seems to me you have some serious self image issues and nothing you do to the outside will fix what's broken on the inside.

yoovie

i hope so but i doubt it will cure me i will prolly always see myself as the funny fat guy that is always in the friend zone lol

same exact thing here except with boobs. Im used to sitting in the van between my guy friends while they have 19 year old french pug looking chicks half puking in their laps and Im sitting there going... you know what - someday I'll be either slutty enough or skinny enough that someone will pull me into their lap.

then I quit dreaming and go back to planning adventures.

gpstrucker

I'm far too amazingly handsome to feel ugly.

mabelbabel1

I just feel so insecure and unattractive all the time and I used to say "Okay, when the weight comes off I'll be prettier." But those two times I lost 20 pounds? I still felt.. Ugly. Do you feel the same? Maybe I'm just insecure all the way around.

I feel much more attractive and confident when I am smaller.

I still have the same insecurities about "me" but when I am not so fat I at least have to confidence to go out and socialise which I don't/won't do again until I am a lot lot lighter!!

jubeesh

No. I have never felt attractive or even cute. Even after losing 80 lbs I still see an ugly person in the mirror. It probably doesn't help that I spend 90% of my time alone, so all I have are those thoughts.

beautybrainsbooty

when you've carried a lot of weight for a while it takes time for your brain to catch up with the image. I've lost well over a hundred pounds and I honestly feel beautiful, still chunky but so very beautiful and I love the way my body has shrunk. I understand that I have to love ME first-flaws and all-and I think that is what attracts all the attention I get. It has increased a hundred fold within the last 3 months...just keep loving on yourself and the image in the mirror. It takes time...

yoovie

when you've carried a lot of weight for a while it takes time for your brain to catch up with the image. I've lost well over a hundred pounds and I honestly feel beautiful, still chunky but so very beautiful and I love the way my body has shrunk. I understand that I have to love ME first-flaws and all-and I think that is what attracts all the attention I get. It has increased a hundred fold within the last 3 months...just keep loving on yourself and the image in the mirror. It takes time...

^ this

your brain takes longer to lose weight. youll still feel bigger than you are for awhile, im sure this carries over with ugly too.

My mom told me that if you smell good, you have clean, soft skin, hair, etc and you smile - you are a beautiful woman and someone's version of sexy.

curvychaos

when you've carried a lot of weight for a while it takes time for your brain to catch up with the image. I've lost well over a hundred pounds and I honestly feel beautiful, still chunky but so very beautiful and I love the way my body has shrunk. I understand that I have to love ME first-flaws and all-and I think that is what attracts all the attention I get. It has increased a hundred fold within the last 3 months...just keep loving on yourself and the image in the mirror. It takes time...

This. YES!

osualex

Body-wise, I feel like I will never be satisfied with how I look. So I decided to focus on function more than aesthetics. Can I run faster, can I lift heavier things? This is how I measure my progress. We are so much more than our looks.

cmpollard01

Honestly, I think a lot more of us deal with this than would like to admit. My sister and I call it "fat girl syndrome." Mind you, I'm not trying to say anyone here is fat. She and I both spent a good bit of time overweight. She lost around 80 pounds before a kidney transplant 2 years ago. She liked the way she looked, unless she looked at her stomach. The excess skin made her almost as upset as she was when she couldn't find something comfortable and flattering when she was larger. Even after she lost all her weight, she still saw that big girl staring back at her in the mirror.

I've yo-yo'd for a while, and I'm down 50 pounds from my worst. My boyfriend tells me I'm beautiful, that he loves the way the weight loss accentuates certain things. But I still look as myself as a chubby girl. Oh sure, I can tell in my face and in my body that I've shed some unwanted pounds, but I look in a mirror and can only see the flaws, not the progress.

For me, I KNOW it comes from a low self esteem-regardless of what my weight is. On my mirror at home, I have the verse "I am fearfully and wonderfully made" so I can remember that God made me and He loves me just like I am. It helps-but it doesn't cure the way I look at myself. It's something I have to work through, pray about, and work internally to change.

You are so beautiful, and I wish you the best. Hopefully we will all work past this and see ourselves as the same awesome people everyone else does!

thickstaa

I haven't started to lose any weight as yet but I am now making steps to do so. If you are losing weight with the notion that you will not be pretty until you do.....you wont feel pretty when you lose it either. It will take some work but you need to work on the inner you so it matches the outer once you've reached your goals. I think I'm a beautiful person.... and I'm the only one that matters. I am trying to lose weight for me!