Those of you who have or have had a B**chy teenage girl
fullofhope76
Posts: 92
in Chit-Chat
Does it ever get better? Mine is going to be 17 on Dec. 21st. I can't talk to her about anything without feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. She screamed at me last night on the phone and when I talked to her this morning about it and really expected an apology she just kept up the b**ch act and acted like she was better than that. This is the type of relationship that if it wasn't my daughter, I would be walking away from it.
So I want to know, does it get better? Will she wake up one day and realize that she should be nicer to me? I feel like crying right now. She is my only child. My Mom and I have a great relationship and one day I want to have that with her, but right now I just want to have time away from her. I feel bad for even writing that.
So I want to know, does it get better? Will she wake up one day and realize that she should be nicer to me? I feel like crying right now. She is my only child. My Mom and I have a great relationship and one day I want to have that with her, but right now I just want to have time away from her. I feel bad for even writing that.
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Replies
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Bump...please anyone....0
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She's a teenager. She'll get over it.
The most important thing is not to crowd her, but also not to let her be the master of all she surveys. Sometimes you've got to be "mean mom" and kind of stop with the fluffy parenting and put on your hard hat. She needs to be reminded that she lives in your house and would not survive without your support.
When I went through my rude phase, my parents completely shut down their "fluffy" sides. Every time I was a b*tch, they'd remind me that I could move out and try to get along without them. That went a long way to bring me back to earth and restore some humility.0 -
I don't have a teenage daughter, but I was one and I was EVIL. I lied to my parents about everything I snuck out, I stole their cars, I skipped school, and I was a total ***** to everyone and my mom most of all. After high school was over and I had my first son (I was 19) I realized how important my mom was to me and she and I are very very close today. And I have to add don't give up on her, and don't let her get by with more than she should. She will look back one day and respect you so much more for having a back bone and laying down the law for her. My parents never grounded me or anything for my evilness, and now that I can look back and see all the mistakes I made I wish they had been just a little harder on me.0
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At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.0
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She's a teenage girl. She is trying to separate from you. Not that it gives her a right to be rude or disrespectful, but it's going to happen. You have to pick your battles to save your own sanity. YES, it will get better. I was awful as a teenager, and now I can't imagine life without my parents, and I am so thankful for everything they have done for me.0
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Honestly, there's probably something more going on and it's just easier to "let it out" on you. My daughter has issues with her father and was afraid to speak up to him, so I got the brunt of her frustration when she got home.
I'd try to understand what's going on in her life and how it's affecting her. Sure, there's always those "teenage hormones", but it seems like there's more going on. Talk to her, mom.
ETA: She's probably going to fight the idea of opening up to you. Just let her know that you're there to listen *without judgement* when she's ready to vent.0 -
My sisters a *****y teenage girl, well all 3 are/were and I have smacked my fair share of faces and put them many times in their place.I respect them and they respect me, its different when it comes to family, but thanks to them I have skill in this area. Girlfriends don't back talk me and they've taught me to take no **** from any woman. Women can say boohoo men are jerky but I think women can definitely be 100% as evil, if not evil-er.0
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Listen to her. Her point of view. Don't think you're always right.
As a teenager that's all I can say.0 -
Do you remember being a teenage daughter? I do. I was a raging lunatic witch!
I'm not now. (stop laughing).
I had a wonderful relationship with my mother, after and sometimes during, my teenage years. She *should* grow out of it if you stick with her and continue being a supportive mom.
Sometimes children lash out and are jerks just because. Might be a reaction to something you've done, might be she's just a jerk right now.
Just be her mom as best you can.0 -
At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.
And you know this because you have experience being a teenage girl?0 -
Honestly, there's probably something more going on and it's just easier to "let it out" on you. My daughter has issues with her father and was afraid to speak up to him, so I got the brunt of her frustration when she got home.
I'd try to understand what's going on in her life and how it's affecting her. Sure, there's always those "teenage hormones", but it seems like there's more going on. Talk to her, mom.
^^^ This
I have a 15 yo daughter and most of the time she is pretty good, but when she's not it's time to sit her down for a long talk and figure out what's going on. I usually get the raw end of the stick cause I'm the Mom, but once she vents what's really bothering her, she is better.0 -
I have two B****y teenage girls 16, and 13 and I really hope it gets better before I lose my composure and end up slapping one of them across the face. I have no advice except that it is a stage and by the time they are midway through college they should grow out of it. I try to reason with my girls but for the most part they just don't want to listen to a thing I say, it is almost as if the fact that it is coming out of my mouth makes it stupid and not worth listening to. If you find a cure for it please share with the rest of us.0
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Been through it & it does get better!
Mine was the epitomy of laziness. Told her if she wanted a cell phone, I would only foot the bill for a year, then she had to pay it. YEAH RIGHT! Told her if she wanted her own car, I would buy it, but SHE must pay the insurance, gas & upkeep. YEAH RIGHT! Told her to be in by curfew & she was in, but then would sneak out after I'd gone to sleep. Could NOT get her to keep a job. Could NOT get her to do ANYthing around the house. She got mad every other minute & her temper tantrums would last for daaaaaaaaays! She tried moving out once (crashed with a friend), but was back in less than a week. I was a single Mom, so it was tough. I had no one to even confer with as to whether I was being too easy on her or if I was being too tough. I just felt my way through and eventually things fell into place. When she graduated from high school last year, it was like a light bulb suddenly came on in her little brain. She got a really good job, started paying all her own bills, moved into her own place & is starting college online in January. TOTALLY different kid! Now I have the same to look forward to with her brother. Oh goody! :ohwell:
Hang in there Mom. It will get better!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I would talk with the hubby and get dad involved. I have 4 teens and they all understand that if they are rude to mom, they have to deal with a very angry dad. They really aren't sure that I wont snap and kill them . .lol0
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My sisters a *****y teenage girl, well all 3 are/were and I have smacked my fair share of faces and put them many times in their place.I respect them and they respect me, its different when it comes to family, but thanks to them I have skill in this area. Girlfriends don't back talk me and they've taught me to take no **** from any woman. Women can say boohoo men are jerky but I think women can definitely be 100% as evil, if not evil-er.
You seem like quite the catch....0 -
At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.
I have to disagree with this. I was a complete *kitten* as 17. Did lots of bad things...started then quit college. About 20 I started to figure things out, and now eventually at almost 35 I am a pretty decent person
Somewhere in my early 20's my mom and I started to really get along and become friends. There is hope!!0 -
LOL I was that bi!chy teenager growing up :blushing: but now, my mom and I get along great. It was tough at the time (for both of us) but now, we laugh about it and how because of that, we can talk easier now than ever before. I know I was bi!chy cause I was unhappy, depressed and anorexic and my mom was the person that I could take it out on knowing she'd never stop being there for me. We're similar when it comes to our temper so we'd yell, be annoyed with each other, be ok for a day, then it'd start all over again.0
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At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.
Very true. Some people are just a-holes. But if this is just a phase, it might just not be over yet.0 -
I have a 3 year old like that's hahaha x0
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I've lived thru 3 teenage girls and it does get better. Unfortunately, you may never regain your sanity. I know I left mine lying around here somewhere. Guess I should go look for it... Oh look, I found cookies!0
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I'm not sure how I survived the teenage years with my daughter, but I can tell you I have no desire to ever experience that again!! It was a long and difficult time in our lives. Frankly, it was hell. We honestly didn't reach a point of mutual respect and open communication again until she moved out and was able to gain a little perspective and maturity. Since then, she has actually thanked me for being consistent in my expectations. I about fell over when she told me I was a good mother and she admires me - TOTAL opposite of the stuff spewing out of her mouth during the teenage years! Hang in there. I think there should be some sort of major award or prize for getting through those years! :drinker:0
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My daughter is a lot like me...she can be moody, *****y, and everything else that goes with being human...she is 13...I recall what a terrible teen I was...am not looking forward to this ride!!!0
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my sister was a nightmare for my mom from 13-17. To this day my biggest fear in life is raising a teenage daughter...0
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As a previous teenage girl, I'll tell you, it gets better. But not right now. Honestly, right now is going to suck. Just be patient, and leave her room to be human.0
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i'm 30 and i'm sure i left my horribly teenaged phase... at least a couple of years ago
generally i think they grow out of it when they start to do things on their own, for themselves. they get some control over their own lives and stop feeling like you're out to ruin them. of course, my brother is 27 and hasn't left that phase yet. *sigh*0 -
Zero children here however I was once a teenage daughter and sadly, I was also *****y to my mom a LOT. When I was like that my mom would glare at me and yell "ATTITUDE!" LOL. Looking back now it's kind of funny but then? Not so much (she actually still does that to me if I'm in a bad mood and snapping at her LOL).
Any way she's a teenager and they go through these kinds of phases where parents aren't cool and they hate them. Like someone else posted make sure you let her know that it is still YOUR house and like it or not she's going to abide by the rules that you set. Sometimes you have to be a hardass in situations like this. Yes, she'll be even more b!tchy but in the end she'll thank you for it and when she gets a few years older you will have the kind of relationship with her that you want.
Good luck!!
(On a side note: this is one of the reasons I don't have kids and I completely respect those who do)0 -
I was terrible as a teenager. My mom has this theory that nature makes us that way as teenagers, that way when we move out, it will be a relief and won't hurt so much.
We're super close today though. She was always firm with me and wouldn't take any BS from me. 17 is NOT mature; once your daughter moves out and matures some, she'll quit being evil and will turn back into a normal person.0 -
Oh man I was awful at 17. And I was fairly well behaved...didn't drink no drugs home by curfew. But my mom was kinda nuts. I had to call to check in every three hours because "no one can stay in the same place doing the same thing longer than that", my curfew was like 10 o'clock.
I was mean, I would snap at her or walk away or instigate. Now that I'm older we get along better but I really don't think anything could have helped. She was wrong in a lot of ways and I was wrong in just as many. It got better once I started getting some out of high school experiences. Ihave always paid my own bills so that helped a lot too.0 -
I have a 3 year old like that's hahaha x
Yikes! I hope you nip that in the bud before it gets worse.0 -
At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.
I was thinking the same thing...17 seems to be a bit old for this behavior. My daughter went thru her rebellious stage at 14. It lasted about 6 months. Her attitude took a turn for the better as she approached 15 and would be needing my permission to get her learner's permit for driving.0
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