Those of you who have or have had a B**chy teenage girl

Cindy873

I'm not sure how I survived the teenage years with my daughter, but I can tell you I have no desire to ever experience that again!! It was a long and difficult time in our lives. Frankly, it was hell. We honestly didn't reach a point of mutual respect and open communication again until she moved out and was able to gain a little perspective and maturity. Since then, she has actually thanked me for being consistent in my expectations. I about fell over when she told me I was a good mother and she admires me - TOTAL opposite of the stuff spewing out of her mouth during the teenage years! Hang in there. I think there should be some sort of major award or prize for getting through those years! :drinker:

nexangelus

My daughter is a lot like me...she can be moody, *****y, and everything else that goes with being human...she is 13...I recall what a terrible teen I was...am not looking forward to this ride!!!

n0ob

my sister was a nightmare for my mom from 13-17. To this day my biggest fear in life is raising a teenage daughter...

Rachelle1016

As a previous teenage girl, I'll tell you, it gets better. But not right now. Honestly, right now is going to suck. Just be patient, and leave her room to be human.

starjumper12

i'm 30 and i'm sure i left my horribly teenaged phase... at least a couple of years ago

generally i think they grow out of it when they start to do things on their own, for themselves. they get some control over their own lives and stop feeling like you're out to ruin them. of course, my brother is 27 and hasn't left that phase yet. *sigh*

JustJennie1

Zero children here however I was once a teenage daughter and sadly, I was also *****y to my mom a LOT. When I was like that my mom would glare at me and yell "ATTITUDE!" LOL. Looking back now it's kind of funny but then? Not so much (she actually still does that to me if I'm in a bad mood and snapping at her LOL).

Any way she's a teenager and they go through these kinds of phases where parents aren't cool and they hate them. Like someone else posted make sure you let her know that it is still YOUR house and like it or not she's going to abide by the rules that you set. Sometimes you have to be a hardass in situations like this. Yes, she'll be even more b!tchy but in the end she'll thank you for it and when she gets a few years older you will have the kind of relationship with her that you want.

Good luck!!

(On a side note: this is one of the reasons I don't have kids and I completely respect those who do)

slcostel

I was terrible as a teenager. My mom has this theory that nature makes us that way as teenagers, that way when we move out, it will be a relief and won't hurt so much.

We're super close today though. She was always firm with me and wouldn't take any BS from me. 17 is NOT mature; once your daughter moves out and matures some, she'll quit being evil and will turn back into a normal person.

Erienneb

Oh man I was awful at 17. And I was fairly well behaved...didn't drink no drugs home by curfew. But my mom was kinda nuts. I had to call to check in every three hours because "no one can stay in the same place doing the same thing longer than that", my curfew was like 10 o'clock.

I was mean, I would snap at her or walk away or instigate. Now that I'm older we get along better but I really don't think anything could have helped. She was wrong in a lot of ways and I was wrong in just as many. It got better once I started getting some out of high school experiences. Ihave always paid my own bills so that helped a lot too.

andreanicole686

I have a 3 year old like that's hahaha x

Yikes! I hope you nip that in the bud before it gets worse.

FlyByJuly

At 17 she really should have grown out of that phase by now. Could be she's just a jerk. All the adult jerks in the world were children once too, you know.

I was thinking the same thing...17 seems to be a bit old for this behavior. My daughter went thru her rebellious stage at 14. It lasted about 6 months. Her attitude took a turn for the better as she approached 15 and would be needing my permission to get her learner's permit for driving.

JustJennie1

Girlfriends don't back talk me and they've taught me to take no **** from any woman.

Is that because you slap them across the face?

Seriously you might want to re-read what you write before you hit "post reply" because you sound like an *kitten*.

harvo

Be consistant and stern. Layout punishments for actions and stay to those. She will either learn to respect you or play the game either way you are the adult and you are in charge. As I tild my ex step daughter when her and her mom were having issues and she was 18..her words were I am an adult now my repsonse was "age does not make you grown, being responsible for yourself does and until you get out of moms house and quit having her pay any of your bills you are not grown and you need to change your attitude! I love you but get over yourself"

CADreaming09

Don't have kids, but when I was a teenager, I was not the nicest to my mom and really hurt her. But now we have a good relationship. I still get immature sometimes, but nothing like it was when I was in high school. And I didn't do anything bad, no drugs, sex, drinking, I was just not very nice to her. I do regret it and your daughter will too.

rachelrb85

I was the B**chy teenage girl at that age. Thankfully, I grew out of it a little when I was 18, especially going to college and having some independence. By the time I was in my early 20s I felt horrible for the way I treated my mother, and now we are like best friends (I'm 27).

I hope your daughter grows out of that phase. Definitely don't try to be overprotective or ask too many questions. The more strict my mom was, the more I rebeled. When she tried too hard, it was annoying to me. Let her know that you care without being too overbearing. Give her some space, give her some independence, and let her make mistakes on her own. She'll learn from them.

kzandarski

One of my daughters was terrible. It was such a relief when she graduated from high school. She moved out shortly after. She learned very quickly that life at home wasn't so bad and mom wasn't really that stupid. She is 21 now and doing wonderful with a great job. She is the most pleasant person. I love spending time with her.

I am sorry. I hope it gets better.

Karen

Dub_D

I was a b!tchy teenager. I was always getting in fights, doing drugs, etc. I treated my mom like crap. It ended when I was about 18 and moved out of the house.

MelStren

She's a teenager. She'll get over it.

The most important thing is not to crowd her, but also not to let her be the master of all she surveys. Sometimes you've got to be "mean mom" and kind of stop with the fluffy parenting and put on your hard hat. She needs to be reminded that she lives in your house and would not survive without your support.

When I went through my rude phase, my parents completely shut down their "fluffy" sides. Every time I was a b*tch, they'd remind me that I could move out and try to get along without them. That went a long way to bring me back to earth and restore some humility.

This. Except that we've told our soon to be 17yr old that we WANT her in our home. We know she can't make it alone at her age and we truely do want her in our home with us BUT we've made it perfectly clear to her that we EXPECT to be respected. She's allowed to tell us we're "stupid", "being unfair".....ect. but she has to respect us enough to NOT yell or be a ***** about it. We DO support her and we WILL take away the goodies that we provide... like cell phone, internet, taxi service to work and back....

We've also told her we EXPECT her to say "I love you" back to us if we tell her that we love her, OR "have a good day too" if we wish her a good day..... ect. She isn't allowed to wollow in her *****y'ness.

Casey45

Mine is going to be 17 in six months and w've got it going on here too. Also she is our only child. A few years ago we had some difficulties in the family and went through family counselling which helped immeasurably.

I don't bother correcting her on the phone, that's when she seems to think she can be at her worst. Like yesterday. A new low. When I got home my husband, her dad had been home and she was in a much better mood. I participated in the laughter then when she was good and relaxed, I told her I ws switching gears (you're in a much better mood now than you were on the phone earlier this afternoon. I think you need to recall that conversation and your comments, then give me an apology. It became a family discussion. My point was that nobody should talk to anybody like that. Asked her how she'd feel if she saw me or dad talking to the other one like that or to her..... she was sincere in her apology.

Guess my point is, bite your tongue for the short term, then when she is back to a sane mood again, address whatever the lates issue is.

Also, early this school year, I started keeping track of her moods/behavior in my calendar.... I note the behaviour and possible triggers. Starting to look hormonal.... with the stress of school stuff for the icing on the cake. Overall though more good days than bad. (helps that she's on the pill that reduces her periods to just one every three months..... heaven.

Last, when I start to see consistent backsliding on a given issue (example, taking out the garbage/recycling in a timely manner) I focus on that for a few days, but I warn her first (cause she hates nagging, "I know you hate nagging but be forewarned it's going to be happening cause you are slacking on your responsibilities.... keep up with it or XYZ consequence (revoke a priviledge. She *****es for sure, but steps back into line.

ahviendha

I don't have a teenage girl, but I was a *****y one. I was horrible until I left for university at age 18, and quickly grew up and thanked my mom for dealing with me for so long!

It does get better. I like to think I "came back" to my mom after 4-5 years. And now she tears up whenever we talk about how happy I am, how I've figured my life out.

LitaRose77

My mother, were she still with us, would tell you that from the moment I turned 13, I was hell on wheels. When I turned 18, it was like a switch was flipped & I was "normal" again. For 5 years, we didn't talk, mostly we screamed & cried. Many a time, I got the "If you don't like it you can leave" speech. (She realized the folly of this when she came home to find me sprawled out on the floor, the newspaper before me with several red circled listings for apartments.)

I think a large part of it, at least until I was 16, was that I blamed her for my father leaving. In my eyes, she kicked him out of my life. Sadly, at the time, I was too young to understand how much of a *CENSORED* he really is. Now, I know much better.

Point is, I did grow out of it & we became best friends afterwards. For the next 10 years, we were mostly ok. We still had the occassional argument, we were very close, but still clashed from time to time.