Those of you who have or have had a B**chy teenage girl

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  • TheCaren
    TheCaren Posts: 894 Member
    There's nothing wrong with laying out some rules and letting her know in advance what the consequences are. Sit her down and let her know this is not a conversation, it's a lecture. Which is one sided, ergo, you don't want to hear her opinion.

    1. If you raise your voice to me, I'm going to ask you politely once to lower your voice, and if you persist, the conversation is over. I don't care where we are or what you want or anything else. It's done.

    2. I am only going to ask you once to do something (dishes, clean room, vacuum, whatever). I will give you a time frame it is to be done in. If you fail to complete the task, there will be consequences and you will not like them and they will be non-negotiable.

    3. You will treat me with respect in my home and follow the rules in my home, or you will not live in my home. Is that clear? You don't have to like the rules, but you WILL follow them. And when you are 18 and work and can live on your own, I encourage you to go out into the world.

    I raised four kids by the way. And they were all teenagers at once. I feel your pain. It's not just daughters.
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
    Boundaries! My daughter tried that with me exactly ONE TIME.
    In order to show her that she had a very priviledged life we exposed her to alot of harsher elements. I actually started by removing things from her room that were not entitlements and gave her 24 hours with only basic necessities, grounded to her room. Then I walked her through a couple of blocks of the worst part of a big city.
    At that point she was told that if she continued to be rude and disrespectful, priviledges would be removed and we followed through on that.
    I'm very thankful that my daughter and I discussed things through. She was always encouraged to observe and talk about absolutely anything. The answer might have been that we'd discuss it later but we would do exactly that.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Does it ever get better? Mine is going to be 17 on Dec. 21st. I can't talk to her about anything without feeling like I have to walk on eggshells. She screamed at me last night on the phone and when I talked to her this morning about it and really expected an apology she just kept up the b**ch act and acted like she was better than that. This is the type of relationship that if it wasn't my daughter, I would be walking away from it.
    So I want to know, does it get better? Will she wake up one day and realize that she should be nicer to me? I feel like crying right now. She is my only child. My Mom and I have a great relationship and one day I want to have that with her, but right now I just want to have time away from her. I feel bad for even writing that.

    You're taking it too personally. Keep your feelings under wraps. It's not about you.
  • jessicathomas15
    jessicathomas15 Posts: 46
    I'm 19 and I can tell you me and mum were kinda like that too a couple of years back. She sat me down one day and told me how she felt. We had a long talk and both cried as she explained when her mum died in her 20's she regretted the arguments they had. That made me think and I made more of an effort to be with her. She also stepped back a bit and I actually found that I missed her attention and made more of an effort then too! Good luck, just know that it will pass and it will help if you are honest with each other. I think it's normal, don't feel bad :)
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I mean... mine is 13. So I may see worse yet still... but when my daughter treats me like that, I let her know pretty quick that I won't tolerate being disrespected. Sometimes demanding respect is enough... sometimes it just makes her pissier. If she continues to be abusive to me, I just stay away from her until she gets it together. For the most part, she and I have a great relationship...

    but like I said... she is only 13. It might get worse.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    i was a jerk to my parents unil i hit about 23. then i figured out that the world didnt revolve around me. she'll come out of it, jsut keep loving her. when she yells just tell her you love her and ignore the anger. dont feed the b*tchness.
  • Galathea96
    Galathea96 Posts: 200 Member
    She needs to fear the consequences of her actions. My sister who just turned 16 is 13 years younger than I am. She has her teenage drama moments but knows better than to act like an evil witch around anyone. In my family and especially the culture I was raised in we don't take crap from children.

    My sister doesn't even dare mouth off to me and has not raised her voice to me once in her life. She knows that I won't take her crap and freely admits that she's sort of scared of me even though she has never even seen me really mad at her. When she tries any teenage drama or *****iness most of the time just taking a look at her and speaking her name once is enough to make her snap out of it. Why? I can take apart her PC, revoke her social media accounts, disable her phone and make her clean toilets for weeks.

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