Dads- if you're son wants a baby doll....?

Mina133842

So, my 21month old son is a little obsessed with babies, since my friend dropped by with her newborn son a month or two ago... His Sunday School teacher gave us a "Baby Jesus" wrapped "soap opera style" (where the lid of box is wrapped to easily separate from the box, ie- lift and no tearing of wrapping paper is involved) which he then carried around for a while and rocked and played with for a day and a half before Baby Jesus' head came off (think cheap $1 store baby doll, with stuffing already visible when doll was received)..so when my sister asked what he wanted for a gift, I suggested a Cabbage Patch boy doll - and hubs was a little weirded out by it.. I don't think it's a big deal, I grew up with 4 brothers, 2 of which had to help take care of us "little kids"- and figured they had practice at being Dads - what's the big deal?! right? Would you be okay if your son had a "doll?" I told my husband "he was just pretending to be a Daddy- like you." I don't know if he's just a little homophobic, or what?!

chivalryder

I would be a little weirded out by it, but I'd be cool with it.

Let the child have what he really wants to have, if it is a positive and beneficial thing!

GeorgieLove708

I'm a mom, not a dad, but... My son doesn't specifically have a doll of his own, because we had a daughter first and already have 10 baby dolls, but he plays with them all the time. My husband doesn't have a problem with it. If I had to venture a guess... I doubt he's homophobic, but he was probably raised in a house where "boys don't cry" and "that's women's work" were common phrases. At least that's been my experience among guys who have a problem with their sons playing with baby dolls, toy kitchens, etc.
Adding, try to help him feel better about it, but don't cave just because he doesn't understand. Playing daddy is an important and normal part of growing up.

theloppi

I don't see how this is unusual behaviour at all. I know my brothers used to play dolls with me when I was little! I don't think it's any indication of his sexuality either way (he is only very young after all). I think some people just buy into the whole 'boys like blue, girls like pink' dogma that all these toy companies push on us.

sarah44254

It sounds like something he'd enjoy and it is not dangerous/harmful (like if a kid enjoyed playing with knives or something).

It is outside of the norm I suppose, which might be why your husband is off-put by the idea.

BinaryPulsar

I have two daughters. But, I used to work with babies. Some Dads were weird about the boys playing with dolls. But, it's very healthy for boys to want to mimic being a Dad. It's an important aspect of healthy development. I don't understand what the problem is (ignorance, I guess). Maybe if more boys played with dolls, we would have better fathers in this world.

eatathome

I agree with you: get him the dang baby doll. I thought this was considered a "normal" thing for like. . .decades (didn't they have the "My Buddy" doll in the 80s?). Little boys should learn to be more nurturing anyway.

workhardplayhard

Well honestly I would probably put his John Deere Tractor and football next to him but if he chose the baby doll no worries

eatathome

Also, I think your son is more secure in his masculinity than your husband.

trojanbb

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

eatathome

I think your son is also more secure in his masculinity than MaxBiker.

BinaryPulsar

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

GeorgieLove708

I know a father who have two daughers and one son. That son played with the dolls and what the hell..even gave the son a hand me down bike from one of he girls.. it was pink.

He is the most feminin boy i have ever met.

Why confuse the kid. boys should be brought up as men. Girls can get away with being raised a girl or even tomboyish - girls can still pull it off some how. Boys not.

And my husband (and many others) grew up playing with baby dolls and is very much a "manly man". That has nothing to do with what toys you play with as a child. Beginning the process of learning to be a good, involved parent does start in childhood though.

djc315

Boys grow up to be dads, right? So what is wrong with them playing with dolls.

Pink and blue are just colors, why is it okay for a girl to like blue but if a boy likes pink he's labeled feminine? And sometimes even confused?


Let the kid play with what he or she likes to play with, as long as it isn't harmful to themselves or others. Those things DO NOT make an individual gay or straight. Come on people.

Contrarian

Let kids play with whatever toys they want. There are no girl toys and boy toys. Just toys.

rockerbabyy

I agree with you: get him the dang baby doll. I thought this was considered a "normal" thing for like. . .decades (didn't they have the "My Buddy" doll in the 80s?). Little boys should learn to be more nurturing anyway.

QFT
i dont really get the whole "boys only like blue and race cars" "girls only like pink and baby dolls" thing - my youngest wanted to be a boy pirate for halloween this year, and she rocked it. she wanted a Sportacus birthday party one year, it was awesome and she was thrilled. she loves legos and tonka trucks. she also plays barbies and baby dolls and princess tea party dress up. my oldest daughter loves to climbs trees and dig up worms and play barbies and polly pocket...
both of my girls are interested in many things, and i feel i would be a horrible parent if i limited them only to what some in society feel are "girly" things.

LisaMarie8713

My daughter always had baby dolls... my son is attached to his shark (stuffed animal) that he calls his baby. He's five, but if he wanted a doll, i'd let him have it. Teaches him how to parent, nurture and love another human...

just my personal opinion. I had a cousin that I played with all the time, and he had a little boy cabbage patch that was his doll. I think it's perfectly normal.

juliaamilee

get him a baby! I am a mom too, I let my son play with dolls. He even ran threw the house in his sisters princess high heel dress up shoes. With his sword and cape chasing his sister. He could run in them and she couldnt. LOL She was older, so he wanted to play too. I even painted one toe every time we did nails. He was satisfied with that just wanted to be included. LOL. He is all boy now. Nerf guns and video games are the thing at the moment. He was two when he played with the baby, ran with the high heels and soo on. LOL he is 10 now

Junken_Diraffe

I make dolls, so I may be biased. But my son has a doll. It's his best friend. It's not a "baby" doll, it's a little boy, dressed in boy clothes, with crazy fun colored hair. He loves Toby. Every time I make a new doll, he hopes I'm making Toby a brother. I sell lots of boy dolls. Not as many as girls, but still lots of them. Sometimes, my son takes Toby outside to play with him. He still p,Amy's cars and trains and fishes and digs in the dirt. He includes his buddy Toby when he does those things. I think it's perfectly healthy for a boy to have a doll.

Tw1zzler

It's normal for little boys to want to play with dolls. Telling him he can't only raises questions, he'll lose interest as he gets older. My son had a play kitchen and now is a tough little hockey player!

eatathome

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

"We conclude that strongly gender-typed toys appear to be less supportive of optimal development than neutral or moderately gender-typed toys."

http://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11199-005-7729-0?LI=true

BAM

PikaKnight

I agree with you: get him the dang baby doll. I thought this was considered a "normal" thing for like. . .decades (didn't they have the "My Buddy" doll in the 80s?). Little boys should learn to be more nurturing anyway.

QFT
i dont really get the whole "boys only like blue and race cars" "girls only like pink and baby dolls" thing - my youngest wanted to be a boy pirate for halloween this year, and she rocked it. she wanted a Sportacus birthday party one year, it was awesome and she was thrilled. she loves legos and tonka trucks. she also plays barbies and baby dolls and princess tea party dress up. my oldest daughter loves to climbs trees and dig up worms and play barbies and polly pocket...
both of my girls are interested in many things, and i feel i would be a horrible parent if i limited them only to what some in society feel are "girly" things.

^ What she said. And I've known guys who admit to playing with dolls when they were young and they aren't gay. I can't believe someone actually just said that playing with dolls links boys to homosexuality. Seriously -.- I have a friend whose little boy plays with dolls. He also plays with legos, trucks, and action figures (which, come on peeps - they are dolls).

One other example would be the ventriloquist Jeff Dunham who played with "dolls" (and yes he calls them dolls) since he was a little kid. Guess he must be in the closet then, huh?

BinaryPulsar

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

Well, I've read the studies. Their legitimacy of course is unknown to me. But I think I'll trust what I did read along with my own intuition over your baseless denial.

It's not a baseless denial. I am educated in science and the scientific method. My husband has a PhD in science. I spend most of my time with scientists. And I also worked with babies and studied child development from a scientific bases as well. You are the one baselessly believing "whatever you read".

TheCaren

I'm not a dad. But my youngest boy had a baby cousin and after seeing her he wanted a baby of his own. His dad and I bought him a cabbage patch for Christmas that year. He was two and a half. He carried his little guy around the house and was very nurturing to it. While also playing with his work bench and duplo blocks and plenty of "boy" toys. He's 23 now and a fire fighter and about to have a family of his own. Nothing in the world wrong with your son having a baby of his own. Trust me. He'll outgrow it in favor of "boy toys". It seems to be ingrained in them. Kind of like the need to make EVERYTHING into a sword! LOL

AmyFett

I'm a mom and have two daughters, BUT, if it's what will make him happy, why not? Isn't that one of our main goals as parents, to see our children happy? My girls play with trucks and cars, in the mud, get gross... whatever makes them happy

eatathome

Aside from the fact that I'd love my son if he were gay or straight.

As a child and adolescent therapist, this thread depresses me. I need to go count calories or something.

djc315

Boys grow up to be dads, right? So what is wrong with them playing with dolls.

Pink and blue are just colors, why is it okay for a girl to like blue but if a boy likes pink he's labeled feminine? And sometimes even confused?

Let the kid play with what he or she likes to play with, as long as it isn't harmful to themselves or others. Those things DO NOT make an individual gay or straight. Come on people.

I never said it makes you gay. lol However, I am a firm believer in, how you are raised is a big part of what shapes you info what you become.

It wasn't just towards you. I do believe in nature AND nurture, but I also firmly believe being gay or straight isn't something you "grow into". You either are or you aren't., some people have a harder time determining if they are if they aren't, but that doesn't mean it was because of how they were raised. Just like you can't make a gay person straight, you can't make a straight person gay. It doesn't work that way.

Louisianababy93

im not a dad, but, i mean sure if there around the house cause you have a girl and he wants to play with his sister..
but, boys should be boys, mud,dirt, trucks,cars,spiderman..

on the other hand, i was raised by my grandma, and we played outside, we didnt hangout in the house all day and she would just watched us out the window or the door and we knew better not to go by the road...

mercymarque

obviouly not a dad. got two sons. NO WAY

trojanbb

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

Well, I've read the studies. Their legitimacy of course is unknown to me. But I think I'll trust what I did read along with my own intuition over your baseless denial.

It's not a baseless denial. I am educated in science and the scientific method. My husband has a PhD in science. I spend most of my time with scientists. And I also worked with babies and studied child development from a scientific bases as well. You are the one baselessly believing "whatever you read".

Ahh so because your husband has a Phd in "science" (a large field...lol) and you work with scientists... you now know the existence and legitimacy of every scientific study. Yeah got it.

SmartAlec03211988

I'll get any future son of mine a doll if he wants it.