Dads- if you're son wants a baby doll....?

BigDnSW

Aside from the fact that I'd love my son if he were gay or straight.

As a child and adolescent therapist, this thread depresses me. I need to go count calories or something.

Echo your sentiments as a licensed therapist as does my early childhood educator wife. My gay cousin (I am 54, he is 55) grew up playing with toy trucks, little green army men, and all the seemingly gender based toys.

There is no real evidence to support such nonsense. They are toys and they are kids. I wouldn't worry...now if he was 23, I might have concerns....

BinaryPulsar

I'm pretty sure you don't.

Seriously though, why be so argumentative ? How do u know what he does or doesnt have access to !

Dude, she has a minor in biology, She knows things

You actually know nothing about me.

And "I know" because of what and how he said it.

MFPfriend

I think there is way too much reading between the lines here...

No one one said a boy playing with dolls makes him gay.

the OP asked for an opinion. She got it.. Respect others opinions lol sheesh people lol

You're absolutely right. I don't agree with your opinion on the topic. But the OP was soliciting opinions, and you shared yours. You're entitled to it even if it doens't agree with mine! LOL

Hahaha!! We all have our own opinions. Just because i wouldn't let my boy (IF i had one) play with dolls.. doesn't make me a bad parent.. or even the wrong way to do it. Its just the WAY I DO IT.

Actually, telling your son that he can't do something "because it's for girls" may not make you a bad parent, but definitely not the best parent you could be. You just isolated him from a different perspective of things. He'll probably end up confused as to why he can't play with dolls but those girls on the other side of the room can.
Want to develop well-rounded, diverse children? Let them experience everything for themselves.

california_peach

I wouldn't have an issue with it at all. My boys went through doll phases and the hey we want pink stuff too phase. Trust me when the super cute baby sitter comes over it is obvious that they find her interesting and just don't know what to do about it yet. Playing with a doll or having a pink toy does not make anyone gay.

trojanbb

I'm pretty sure you don't.

Seriously though, why be so argumentative ? How do u know what he does or doesnt have access to !

Dude, she has a minor in biology, She knows things

You actually know nothing about me.

And "I know" because of what and how he said it.

Exactly. And you know nothing regarding my ability access peer reviewed studies (this is 2013, access to science isn't some incredibly amazing thing). And you no nothing of my ability to understand and follow science. So leave those trite logical fallacies behind next time you engage in argument.

Cespuglio

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

Well, I've read the studies. Their legitimacy of course is unknown to me. But I think I'll trust what I did read along with my own intuition over your baseless denial.

And there dozens of extremely well reviewed studies proving doll use and toy use has substantial effects on child development, future parenting, etc. To think it doesn't affect sexuality is absurd.

So then how would you explain the little boys who played with Tonka Trucks and nothing but "boy" toys and grew up to be homosexual anyway?

umm really? This might be the dumbest thing I've read on this forum.

Oh so it's the dumbest thing because you don't agree with it or because you couldn't explain it in a way that fits your point of view? I simply asked a question based on your reasoning. Since you said you think the toys children play with affects their sexuality, I asked you to explain the children who play with toys that are "in accordance with their gender" and still grow up to be homosexual.

Notice how I've managed to respect your statement and opinion even though I don't necessarily agree with it.

BinaryPulsar

I'm pretty sure you don't.

Seriously though, why be so argumentative ? How do u know what he does or doesnt have access to !

Dude, she has a minor in biology, She knows things

You actually know nothing about me.

And "I know" because of what and how he said it.

Exactly. And you know nothing regarding my ability access peer reviewed studies (this is 2013, access to science isn't some incredibly amazing thing). And you no nothing of my ability to understand and follow science. So leave those trite logical fallacies behind next time you engage in argument.

Just to clarify: True, I do not know what you have access to. But, anyone can clearly see from your comments that you do not have an in depth understanding of science.

trojanbb

Pretty sure I've read a few studies linking little boys and dolls to homosexuality. Can't remember if it either was an indicator of them already having gay tendencies or if it actually played a part in their sexual development.

Either way, hell no. (Not a dad yet...but my son won't be playing with any dolls that I bought)

Wrong. There is no such study and if there is, it is not a peer reviewed scientific study.

Well, I've read the studies. Their legitimacy of course is unknown to me. But I think I'll trust what I did read along with my own intuition over your baseless denial.

And there dozens of extremely well reviewed studies proving doll use and toy use has substantial effects on child development, future parenting, etc. To think it doesn't affect sexuality is absurd.

So then how would you explain the little boys who played with Tonka Trucks and nothing but "boy" toys and grew up to be homosexual anyway?

umm really? This might be the dumbest thing I've read on this forum.

Oh so it's the dumbest thing because you don't agree with it or because you couldn't explain it in a way that fits your point of view? I simply asked a question based on your reasoning. Since you said you think the toys children play with affects their sexuality, I asked you to explain the children who play with toys that are "in accordance with their gender" and still grow up to be homosexual.

Notice how I've managed to respect your statement and opinion even though I don't necessarily agree with it.

No because you attempted to refute my logic with an absurd question that has no relevance to what I said. Never once did I say that playing with dolls is a requirement for a child to be gay...and such a claim would be the only legitimate reason for you to counter with what you said.

BigDnSW

Now if your son is 23 and his "doll" requires to be inflated...I might be concerned...I apologize. Can't a therapist have some fun??? :noway:

KaleidoscopeEyes1056

I have two daughters. But, I used to work with babies. Some Dads were weird about the boys playing with dolls. But, it's very healthy for boys to want to mimic being a Dad. It's an important aspect of healthy development. I don't understand what the problem is (ignorance, I guess). Maybe if more boys played with dolls, we would have better fathers in this world.

This. I think most people are "weirded out" by it because we live in such a hetero-normative society, where boys HAVE to like trucks and girls HAVE to like dolls. Sorry to break it to ya, doesn't always happen that way, and if your child is one of the children who likes toys that they're "not supposed to," it's fine, most children don't really understand our gender stereotypes, which might make them a bit wiser than us.

oonga

ALSO, if my future son comes to me and says he's gay (which won't be because he played with dolls, btw), I will not give a *kitten*.

well said!! :drinker:

PikaKnight

I'm pretty sure you don't.

Seriously though, why be so argumentative ? How do u know what he does or doesnt have access to !

Dude, she has a minor in biology, She knows things

You actually know nothing about me.

And "I know" because of what and how he said it.

Exactly. And you know nothing regarding my ability access peer reviewed studies (this is 2013, access to science isn't some incredibly amazing thing). And you no nothing of my ability to understand and follow science. So leave those trite logical fallacies behind next time you engage in argument.

Just to clarify: True, I do not know what you have access to. But, anyone can clearly see from your comments that you do not have an in depth understanding of science.

Okay, so...why don't you guys just take this in PMs or get back to the topic. No one here really knows anyone else and trying to validate your credentials or lack there of is just pointless.

Ayla70

When my son was 2, we went to a garage sale, and I told him he could pick something. He picked a calico 'rag' doll. He loved that thing until she fell apart, and then I used her as a template to make another doll. A couple of years later, he saw a pretty little dolly in Myers at Christmas, and he longed for her. So Santa made sure he got her for Christmas that year. He called her 'Sweet', and he slept with her, his blue bear and yellow bunny that were given to him at birth, until he was in his teens. By that stage, he never even considered them. They were just a fixture in his room.

My son is almost 20. He's happy and healthy, well rounded, and he's heterosexual, but you know what? I couldn't care less if he was homosexual. His sexuality certainly wasn't determined by having dolls. It certainly DID however, teach him compassion and caring. It also taught him to be an individual who really doesn't give a rats what anyone else thinks of him.

All children, boys and girls, should have a varied selection of toys to play with. Toys are not gender based and it's about time some of the big blokey men in this world realised that, and stopped pushing their small minded opinions on our babies.

arewethereyet

We are raised with stereotypical ideas of what is right and wrong. A baby doll feels wrong because of this.

I say give him the doll.
My son carried a 'purse' (turned out it was Dooney and Borke and I had no idea:blushing: ), clomped around in my mom's high heels and we bought him Hermis, a cabbage patch doll which he LOVED. He is straight

My best friend growing up always wore her hair super short, would ONLY play with match box cars, race tracks and dump trucks. I had to leave my dollies in my little pink suit case because they creeped her out:laugh:
She is straight.

My DD had all pink and Barbie EVERYthing.......gay :laugh:

They are what they are.

What you may be doing is setting him up to be a good daddy one day. :flowerforyou:

BigDnSW

To the "men are men" trolls on this thread: It's almost 2013. Boys can play with dolls, too. It's a normal behavior and shows nurturing qualities. Girls can play with erector sets and toy cars. Please, I beg of you, evolve already.
To the OP: Be proud of your son who is showing nurturing, caring qualities. He sounds like a great kid. I'm sure your husband understands that and is just a bit initially apprehensive. It's not him, it's the long-running societal standards that affect our thinking sometimes.

Well put and thank you!

TeachTheGirl

I have a son and he had a blue baby doll when he was little. Played with it when his sister was born because he wanted to mimic me taking care of his sister. Now she's older and can play with him, that doll has not been touched since. He much prefers legos and 'bad guys' (EVERY toy has the potential to be a bad guy) but if he asked for a doll for Christmas, I'd buy him one.

katy84o

I know a father who have two daughers and one son. That son played with the dolls and what the hell..even gave the son a hand me down bike from one of he girls.. it was pink.

He is the most feminin boy i have ever met.

Why confuse the kid. boys should be brought up as men. Girls can get away with being raised a girl or even tomboyish - girls can still pull it off some how. Boys not.

This is such a ridiculous response. I grew up with three boys and we were poor. I wore my brothers clothes when they grew out of them, I played with legos and matchbox cars. I would dig for worms and ride my bike. I'd play king of the mountain with my 3 brothers and 3 boy neighbors. I was the only girl in 6 boys. My dad worked in construction and he taught me how to fix things. Am I a masculine women? No I'm not. I do my hair, I do my make up. I wear dresses and I like to cook.

I really hope your response was meant as a joke. Otherwise, if you have kids, im sorry. Don't you know being forced to act a certain way, offers more resistance?

*Edit to say. After I re-read I realized that you wrote "girls can pull off tomboyish". I guess the first time I read it, I could've get past the first part.

Anyway. I have a question for you. If your son (if you had one) wanted to wear pink would you let him?

How about your daughter (you have 2 correct) what if they wanted to wear blue? Would you allow them?

dad106

I say get him a doll.

From a psychology stand point, people are hard wired when they are born and the types of toys played with don't make that much of a difference.

BigDnSW

PUT HIM WITH A BUNCH OF NORMAL KIDS A LITTLE OLDER THAN HE AND THEY WILL STRAIGTHEN HIM OUT REAL QUICK.

Please inform us all...and try not to use all caps...define "normal" kids. It would greatly help my practice and my wife's 34 years of award winning early childhood education.

BinaryPulsar

I'm pretty sure you don't.

Seriously though, why be so argumentative ? How do u know what he does or doesnt have access to !

Dude, she has a minor in biology, She knows things

You actually know nothing about me.

And "I know" because of what and how he said it.

Exactly. And you know nothing regarding my ability access peer reviewed studies (this is 2013, access to science isn't some incredibly amazing thing). And you no nothing of my ability to understand and follow science. So leave those trite logical fallacies behind next time you engage in argument.

Just to clarify: True, I do not know what you have access to. But, anyone can clearly see from your comments that you do not have an in depth understanding of science.

Okay, so...why don't you guys just take this in PMs or get back to the topic. No one here really knows anyone else and trying to validate your credentials or lack there of is just pointless.

I agree with you. And no I am not going to PM.