Dads- if you're son wants a baby doll....?

plantgrrl

Every little kid wants an "invisible" friend, or whatever. That's how I see it. I never played with baby dolls myself, I thought they were "stupid." LOL Even at that age. But, my best friend was my Guinea Pig. She and I would spend hours together, I told her all my secrets and she "helped" me build stuff and "played" dolls with me.

Kids just do the toy or animal friend thing at that age. A baby doll could still be a boy, if it matters, they just want someone to nurture and play with who will always be there next to them. It's no big deal. To the two guys and the mom and whoever are against it, I just hope you find a constructive, not super judgmental way of denying your boys the dolls they request (if they request them). We just want kids to be comfortable in their own skin and not be all messed up about themselves when they get older. Don't yell at them about wanting dolls or whatever, just find a way to channel that interest into something you view as acceptable. Like those throw able squishy WWE "figures" (I'm pretty sure anything that looks like a human and is of a certain size is technically a doll...I mean the difference between "Ken" and an "action figure" is what exactly?? Pretty sure its just the aisle they're sold on and the "name" we've given them...").

Also, you have to ask yourself on the studies you've found to substantiate your thoughts on gender confusion (aka desire to cross dress, sex change or desire to "be" the other sex), if the studies reflect a propensity amongst kids with early indications of gender identity issues (which could make some sense) toward toys of the other gender--and having been conducted in a way that would indicate a non-bias sample and a large enough sample over a period of years or if it was conducted in such a way that the participants just more or less fed the desired result. That's the difficulty of psychological survey sciences amongst populations of complexed higher level animals (like humans).

One also has to ask ones self if a gender confusion issue is based in genetics or society...if it's genetic, there's really nothing you can do to prevent it, except instill such a level of self loathing about that part of themselves that they never embrace it, but they end up hating themselves. Or if it's nurture, and that happens you've only yourself to blame??

Also, how does this fall as far as girls playing with "boys" toys? How would you figure it out that your girl has a gender confusion issue? We encourage our girls to learn tom boy type stuff now and be independent and use tools and such. How are you going to "prevent" your girls from wanting a sex change or whatever? Or are we only worried about the "fragile" psyches of men? I mean girls seem pretty flexible with the toy "issue." By making our girls "independent" do we create a society with no room for "manly" men? This may be a different question all together, though interesting.

Anyhow...

Laces_0ut

probably not because baby dolls are pretty boring for boys. the only fun i got out of my sister's dolls were hanging them or hiding them from her.

eatathome

Aside from the fact that I'd love my son if he were gay or straight.

As a child and adolescent therapist, this thread depresses me. I need to go count calories or something.

Echo your sentiments as a licensed therapist as does my early childhood educator wife. My gay cousin (I am 54, he is 55) grew up playing with toy trucks, little green army men, and all the seemingly gender based toys.

There is no real evidence to support such nonsense. They are toys and they are kids. I wouldn't worry...now if he was 23, I might have concerns....

Some just dont get it.

No, we totally get that you're too hung up on outdated gender roles and stereotypes to pay attention to actual social science research and listen to people who have graduate degrees in and work in the child development field.

That's cool, you probably expect your woman to stay in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant too.

bettacheckyoself

I wouldn't deny my child anything that I could give them (if they were being a good child and without spoiling them).... anyways, wouldn't a child want it more if they can't have it? ...I don't have a child so I am not sure....

TheLittleLebowski

Hell yeah give him the doll

I think it's cute he wants to be a little daddy, if I was a dad I'd have no problem with it,
I remember playing families with one of my cousins when I was little and I turned out ok, a little odd but in a vague sense I turned out ok.

heidimaggott78

According to a Sexual Education For Preschoolers that I went to, we should try encourage gender specific toys. Eg if your boy likes dolls, rather buy him an action figure.

My husband would definitely have issues with it, so I wouldn't do it. I may not agree with him, but they are OUR children and he has a right to express his beliefs too.

VanessaHeartsMasr

My son went through a phase where he wanted a doll. So I bought him a doll for Christmas, complete with a bottle and a blanket and a baby bed. He played with it for exactly 2 weeks, and then threw it in the corner. I went through a truck phase when I was a little girl. I didn't turn out to be a lesbian. I don't see what the big friggin deal is.

Susanthecatwhisperer

I think it's a great idea. Baby dolls need a daddy sometimes.

zombilishious

Don't worry - it's normal and he will lose interest over time. My son is 19 months younger than my daughter, and he used to play with her dolls all the time. He also used to put on her tutus and dance around the house with her. By the time he was school age, those interests had disappeared in favor of sports, action figures and beating the crap out of his sister ....

AprilRN10

Get him one! My little brother had an easy bake oven!

eatrainsmile

My bro had a baby boy doll when he was a kid. It's not absurd at all. He is a straight normal 26 year old man now.

missabeez

I know a father who have two daughers and one son. That son played with the dolls and what the hell..even gave the son a hand me down bike from one of he girls.. it was pink.

He is the most feminin boy i have ever met.

Why confuse the kid. boys should be brought up as men. Girls can get away with being raised a girl or even tomboyish - girls can still pull it off some how. Boys not.

Ugh....really....genderism at its finest. Do some research.

billsica

My son has no dolls, he has action figures. I see no issue with baby Jesus action figure the OP has.
My son has a little baby action figure thats about 12inches with a baby bottle accessory, was when we has number 2.

To sum up, dolls no, action figures win. Anyone calls my kid feminine, that's what daddy's fists are for.

Nanba007

Get him a my buddy , it has zippers and button's etc..... Our son had one and hubby never freaked, don't think he even noticed it was from the doll family.

oregonzoo

Boy wants a doll, get him a doll.
He's young. I can't stand men so worried about their young boys not being "manly enough" that they can't get the child what they want. It's ridiculous.

kr1stadee

I only ready the first page and a half. Some of the responses are foolish.

Seriously, a doll linking a male to homosexuality?? That's just funny to me. I'm pretty sure that you can take 5 boys, dress them all in pink, give them girly names, lots of dolls to play with, and maybe 2 of the 5 COULD come out as homosexual. (no, I have nothing scientific to back it up, it's my opinion). The same way that you can take 5 boys, deck them out with all blue, give them manly names, lots of trucks and grunting toys, and maybe 2 of the 5 COULD come out as homosexual.

What about girls? If a little girl asked for a truck for Christmas, daddy would be proud of his girl.. does that mean she's going to come out as homosexual??

Get off it! Gender expectations should be outdated. I know of a couple homosexual people (both males and females), who have said that their childhood was not worth remembering because they were forced to be something they didn't like.

(G.I Joe is a doll....)

vim_n_vigor

There is a baby Elmo doll that has diapers, a bib and pacifiers. We got that for my son when he was that age. At 4, he still plays with it. I gave him a baby blanket and to him, it was as good as baby. My husband was good with it too, but he wasn't really ok with a baby doll.

MB_Positif

My son who is now 6 1/2 has never asked for a doll, but I know he used to play with them at his day care. He has bunches of stuffed animals that he cares for like babies. I love seeing him build up some nurturing abilities! He'll make a great husband/father someday. I have been sick for a few months and he is very sensitive and nurturing toward me.

Jeliwood

My daughter is 3. She has short hair because she wanted it cut that way. For christmas she's getting mainly dinosaur toys and cars. She loves to get in the dirt and dig and build. For her 3rd birthday she had a matchbox themed birthday with even a car cake. But, she still gets excited over her pink bathing suit tutu and her stuffed animals, and princess pajamas.

You make toys what they are. Girl toys, boy toys. Yeah, maybe they're certain colors but a young child sees it simply as a toy. If your child wants to carry around and love on a doll it's a good sign that you're doing something right as a parent because you can tell a lot by how a small child talks and handles it's dolls. (beware of a child who yells at their dolls a lot or punishes them a lot. Punishment is the right time is one thing, but if that's the ONLY way a child plays with a doll- worry.)

By the way, I'm a mom. My husband, her father, is a computer nerd. He doesn't build things. He doesn't work in the yard. He doesn't get dirty unless he has to and even then he complains. I am a candy maker- I wrap stuff up in pretty bows and I decorate my shop in bright pinks and purples. So, she gets this on her own. Neither has pushed her one way or another.

So, do you know what would happen if she turned out to be anything but straight? I'd still love her and I'd be amazingly proud that she was brave enough that she could live a lifestyle that is different from most and I'd be incredibly honored that she trusted me enough to let me know. Some parents never know that part of their children's lives. It's not my choice, and most of the time it's not theirs either. The only thing you can do as a parent is be loving and supportive because the more you try to force them to go one way the more they're going to go the opposite direction of you.

beattie1

get him a baby! I am a mom too, I let my son play with dolls. He even ran threw the house in his sisters princess high heel dress up shoes. With his sword and cape chasing his sister. He could run in them and she couldnt. LOL She was older, so he wanted to play too. I even painted one toe every time we did nails. He was satisfied with that just wanted to be included. LOL. He is all boy now. Nerf guns and video games are the thing at the moment. He was two when he played with the baby, ran with the high heels and soo on. LOL he is 10 now

My youngest son did this too (family of girls and boys). He's mid twenties now and a secure masculine hetero guy who's shaping up to be an excellent dad when the time comes - he loves playing with little kids and is quite empathic.

I say let your son play with dolls, cars, tractors, play kitchens, toy shops anything he likes, he's practicing for being grown up.