Dads- if you're son wants a baby doll....?

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  • melscrum
    melscrum Posts: 27
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    I get the impression you think I was talking to you. Who's reading into stuff, exactly? :P

    You don't have a son. And if you actually realize that 'nothing is cut and dry' then you would also know it to be hypocritical to declare that followed by the statement that under NO circumstances would you allow your imaginary son to express his forming cognitive capacities in whatever manner felt right to him. Hypocrisy is gnarly man. Gnarly! Neener neener. :P
    '


    THIS. Couldn't have said it any better.
  • TheWinman
    TheWinman Posts: 700 Member
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    I know a father who have two daughers and one son. That son played with the dolls and what the hell..even gave the son a hand me down bike from one of he girls.. it was pink.

    He is the most feminin boy i have ever met.

    Why confuse the kid. boys should be brought up as men. Girls can get away with being raised a girl or even tomboyish - girls can still pull it off some how. Boys not.

    This is such a ridiculous response. I grew up with three boys and we were poor. I wore my brothers clothes when they grew out of them, I played with legos and matchbox cars. I would dig for worms and ride my bike. I'd play king of the mountain with my 3 brothers and 3 boy neighbors. I was the only girl in 6 boys. My dad worked in construction and he taught me how to fix things. Am I a masculine women? No I'm not. I do my hair, I do my make up. I wear dresses and I like to cook.

    I really hope your response was meant as a joke. Otherwise, if you have kids, im sorry. Don't you know being forced to act a certain way, offers more resistance?

    LMAO ... this thread is so pointless. Meaning was left behind somewhere after the enter key.

    No, it was left behind after your first post in this thread.
  • misslindseylou
    misslindseylou Posts: 141 Member
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    Oh, just get him a doll! I'm sure you can find a little boy doll somewhere, and it won't hurt him at all. It's just a play thing, after all.
  • TheWinman
    TheWinman Posts: 700 Member
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    If they want one, go get him one. Father's are more nurturing with babies in this day and age then ever. Father's change diapers and take care of the baby also, so why would it seem strange for a little boy to want to emulate Daddy taking care of the baby? THe toys your boy play with will have no influence on what their sexual orientation is. The only possible negative is that he may get teased by other boys who have been raised by a father with the same thought process as Maxbiker.
  • LPCoder
    LPCoder Posts: 404 Member
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    I have done child care for 15 years and I made no distinction in "girl" or "boy" toys. The kids were free to play as their imaginations allowed them. Boys who play with dolls is a wonderful thing to see. They are acting out the nurturing they get in the home and are practicing social skills. At his age it is perfectly fine for him to do this. As he gets older he will begin to emulate others he admires around him. Be thankful that he has chosen his role-model in his loving parents!
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    tl;dr Give your son the doll, who cares? Chances are it's just a phase, kids go through phases all the time. But if he does grow up to be gay, why should it even matter? He is your son and you should love him unconditionally. Period.

    Yep.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    If they want one, go get him one. Father's are more nurturing with babies in this day and age then ever. Father's change diapers and take care of the baby also, so why would it seem strange for a little boy to want to emulate Daddy taking care of the baby? THe toys your boy play with will have no influence on what their sexual orientation is. The only possible negative is that he may get teased by other boys who have been raised by a father with the same thought process as Maxbiker.
    Well said
  • tyrantduck
    tyrantduck Posts: 387 Member
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    when my brother was little, he wanted a Baby All-Gone doll like I had. my parents got him one and he played with it for about a year, then it no longer interested him. I think it may just be a short phase that some little boys go through. nothing to worry about. I think the cabbage patch doll is a great idea, they make boy cabbage patch kids, I don't see the harm in that at all.
  • BookofJim
    BookofJim Posts: 11 Member
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    Believe me, don't get him a doll, unless its a G.I. Joe, you don't to have gender confusion at that age.
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
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    I think it's great that your kid wants to play Daddy. It usually means he has a good relationship with his dad and wants to pretend to BE him. Husband said it's weird and he would not give his son a doll.
  • d_Mode
    d_Mode Posts: 880 Member
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    My Son is 21-months-old...and if he wants a doll he can have one. I will love him no matter what!
  • SorchaRavenlock
    SorchaRavenlock Posts: 220 Member
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    If they want one, go get him one. Father's are more nurturing with babies in this day and age then ever. Father's change diapers and take care of the baby also, so why would it seem strange for a little boy to want to emulate Daddy taking care of the baby? THe toys your boy play with will have no influence on what their sexual orientation is. The only possible negative is that he may get teased by other boys who have been raised by a father with the same thought process as Maxbiker.

    well said. He's likely just copying behaviour from his own dad and other men with young children around him. It's very normal for dads nowadays to be hands on with their babies, including pushing prams, feeding them and changing them. It's only natural that their sons copy this in their own game play. It's normal, healthy, modern behaviour.

    He'll make a great father some day, unlike some of the men posting in this thread... :wink:
  • idream2bgwen
    idream2bgwen Posts: 424 Member
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    2 out of 3 of my boys had a doll and one had a purse for a while. They are not feminine at this point at all. They wanted them and I got them those things. My husband had a hard time with it. But in all honesty, they grew out of it. It's not a big deal and after a while I really think they are done with it (like most other things). Don't overthink it, seriously.
  • jilltaylor86
    jilltaylor86 Posts: 87 Member
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    I'm female and don't have children, but if I did I'd let my kid play with whatever toy they want. I strongly believe in being who you are, not following gender based stereotypes. I played with my brother's toys when I was a kid because I thought they were "cooler" than mine.
    I would care more about making my child happy instead of teaching him "you can't play with dolls because society thinks its weird". Just my opinion and good luck :)
  • SideSteel
    SideSteel Posts: 11,068 Member
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    I wouldn't have a problem with it.
  • loneworg
    loneworg Posts: 342 Member
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    My 5 year old son plays with dolls. It makes him happy so I'm all for it.
  • ObtainingBalance
    ObtainingBalance Posts: 1,446 Member
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    I would be a little weirded out by it, but I'd be cool with it.

    Let the child have what he really wants to have, if it is a positive and beneficial thing!


    Yeah, my younger brother did that when he was little - and he turned out fine. He didn't become gay or anything either. It's just a child, he likes playing with toys.
  • TrailRunner61
    TrailRunner61 Posts: 2,505 Member
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    I'm a mom/grandma, not a dad but I'll put my 2 cents in anyway.
    First of all, playing with a doll will not make your son gay.
    2nd, why on earth would anyone give a child a gift that he could choke on? Stuffing coming out and the head fell off? Shame on them for giving it to him and shame on you for letting him have that toy, even if it was a baby Jesus.
    My mother, who has alzheimers, went to a thrift store and bought a horribly, ugly, old, scary even... doll for her newborn grand-daughter. We could not give it to her as it was not safe. I ended up giving it to my dog and she loved it, until she chewed the arms off, eventually it went into the trash. I hated doing that but it was that or throw it out on day 1. Mom did not see the dog with it!
    Anyway, before the dog ate it, our 2 yr old grandson wanted to play with it so we bought a doll that is appropriate for his age. He walked around with it, had his mom wrap it up in a blanket for him, hugged it, kissed it etc. Then one day he decided that trucks were more fun. Well, now it's in the toy box, waiting for the next kid to love it.
    The good news is, he is going to have a baby sister TOMORROW and he has been taught how to be gentle with a baby. There is nothing wrong with teaching that to a little boy/girl! They also sell boy dolls.
    Let your little one play, he's just a baby. Enjoy him!
    Edited to add: Also, my son grew up with 2 older sisters who, along with their friends, dressed him up in makeup, dance outfits, made him play with dolls and anything else you can think of that wasn't 'for' boys. He grew up to be a fine young man and is a marine. He survived. :)
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    The good news is, he is going to have a baby sister TOMORROW and he has been taught how to be gentle with a baby. There is nothing wrong with teaching that to a little boy/girl! They also sell boy dolls.
    Let your little one play, he's just a baby. Enjoy him!
    Edited to add: Also, my son grew up with 2 older sisters who, along with their friends, dressed him up in makeup, dance outfits, made him play with dolls and anything else you can think of that wasn't 'for' boys. He grew up to be a fine young man and is a marine. He survived. :)

    Love this.
  • Mina133842
    Mina133842 Posts: 1,573 Member
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    well, as an update, my sister did find a boy Cabbage Patch baby- and has purchased it and is sending it to him for Christmas. I'm sure my husband will get over it - he usually doesn't care about what the boys play with too much- the toy kitchen I bought from a yard sale to re-sell in the local baby sale is in our basement and the boys play with that from time to time- it's fun to see the "food" they make us- "macaroni and cars" was a favorite, and I even have photos of them in chef hats "helping" me do the holiday baking and "decorating" (eating the bit of candy I gave them to decorate with) their mini gingerbread houses.

    I guess what was weird for me was my husband's reaction to my suggestion to my sister, since it's not about being gay to me- my boss is gay, and one of my husband's best friends is a lesbian, so that part of it didn't really occur to me that it would bother him, so I think it's more of his upbringing and lack of his father interacting with him- I'm sure my FIL would not have been pleased with a "doll," but he's no longer with us- in fact he died before our children were born. MY dad had an issue with it at first when my younger brother got one, but when he saw it in a different light (ie being a good daddy, like you) it was fine. My dad grew up on a ranch/farm in Montana, and they didn't have ANY toys, so that was a HUGE step for my dad. My husband helps out a lot with our kids, as I often work late, so the kids adore him.

    As for the comment about giving him the doll that the Sunday School teacher gave- it was really supposed to be more of a display item, and the day he played with it, I was there the WHOLE time, as he wanted my help rocking the baby with him, and putting the baby to bed, and I "retired" the doll when it ripped. The stuffing could be seen through the flimsy "jammie" thing the doll had on, and as for choking- all of the GI Joe dolls and things like that have pieces he can choke on, so those are really not an option for him.

    Thanks everyone for your thoughts, concerns, and suggestions. I appreciate them!
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