Cousinly Love

FitWithWit44 · April 2014

Zombie Thread!!!

The OP has a picture of a child on her profile. I guess she either got over her jealousy or moved on to someone new

TheRoadDog · April 2014

My Aunt and Uncle (1st Cousins) ran away to get married. My parents helped them and it cause a divide in our family that lasted for decades.

That was in 1952. Very controversial. They just celebrated their 63rd anniversary. They are my favorite Aunt and Uncle. They raised 3 children, have 5 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild and are still very much in love and inseparable.

seltzermint555 · April 2014

This is pretty strange, IMO.
It's one thing to have a close relationship, but to be having "sleepovers" when she lives in the same city and they are how old? I find that odd.

+1

OP, I think you know best...you know how it feels being in your relationship and whether this is something you can deal with or not. I think no matter how well you describe the situation to the rest of us, we can't truly say if it is inappropriate or not.

I have never been that close with a male cousin. I have one male cousin about 6 yrs older than me, that I was pretty close with for a few years in my mid to late 20s, mainly because we like the same music and watch the same movies...not a really "deep" connection there, but we would talk on the phone pretty often and go to family events and drink little airplane bottles of liquor to "get through" the events. Honestly at times even that seemed a tiny bit inappropriate to me, not that there was any chemistry (eww, he's a handsome guy but noooo) but the fact that we were apart from our respective spouses at the time and drinking together. Add to that, people have thought we were a married couple on more than a few occasions when getting together with family...AWK!

I guess only you can decide if it's something you are comfortable with or not. Honestly for me I don't think I would be comfortable with what you describe, whether it was a cousin or a (IMO) "too-close" female friend. It would be less about the notion of possible impropriety and more about the amount of attention and affection that was routed away from ME as the girlfriend. But I know I have issues with that, lol...I wouldn't even date a musician in the past because too much attention was going to their music. So I'm not saying I'm "correct"...just being honest!!

ScorpionQwean · April 2014

Is this in Alabama? Nothing unusual at all then.

Haha if it was then I wouldnt be so worried! But no, Massachusetts

LOL, my boyfriend from BOSTON, is the exact same way! At first, I was like HUH? So strange how he would talk on the phone with her for long periods of time, saying "baby", saying "I love you", etc... Then I put my Italian foot up his *kitten* telling him he needs to respect me, cousin or not .... he got the hint. So I feel ya when it comes to this.

When I was in my teens, I was very close w/ my cousin as well. However, I wouldn't go as far as having "sleepovers" or dropping in unexpectedly. We outgrew it as we got older; so relax for now... it's ok.

MassiveDelta · April 2014

My Aunt and Uncle (1st Cousins) ran away to get married. My parents helped them and it cause a divide in our family that lasted for decades.

That was in 1952. Very controversial. They just celebrated their 63rd anniversary. They are my favorite Aunt and Uncle. They raised 3 children, have 5 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild and are still very much in love and inseparable.

You always surprise me Road dog with your posts.

MassiveDelta · April 2014

I wouldn't be worried. My cousins xwife was VERY jealous of our relationship. Him and I are just very close. Always have been. My family hugs a lot and spends a lot of time together. That is our normal. Many may see it as odd or weird but It's not. I consider him to be one of my close friends. Don't get jealous over it. They're family. You may end up hurting your relationship with him.

I wouldn't say I'm jealous.. Then again, maybe I am. I just don't like to feel like someone is more important than I am, you know?

FYI you are jealous.

darkrose20 · April 2014

Isn't this what siblings do, too? Unless you are concerned that they are *doing* each other, then why are you taking this up on a message board with total strangers? Also, seriously. Drop it.

seltzermint555 · April 2014

Isn't this what siblings do, too?

Not usually.

Pirate_chick · April 2014

It sounds like they are just best buds

ditto.

Pirate_chick · April 2014

I wouldn't be worried. My cousins xwife was VERY jealous of our relationship. Him and I are just very close. Always have been. My family hugs a lot and spends a lot of time together. That is our normal. Many may see it as odd or weird but It's not. I consider him to be one of my close friends. Don't get jealous over it. They're family. You may end up hurting your relationship with him.

I wouldn't say I'm jealous.. Then again, maybe I am. I just don't like to feel like someone is more important than I am, you know?

FYI you are jealous.

yup jealous. They are blood you're just the gf. Get over it.

thatismesammyg · April 2014

I'm pretty sure that after a year and a half she probably doesn't need advice on this anymore.

Timelordlady85 · April 2014

My first thought is....

1) Are they really cousins? Or did he just tell you that and you are taking his word for it?

2) Sleepovers? Are you sure she's not just crashing at his pad for convenience?

3) How touchy feely are they really?

Unless you are the extremely possessive type, you should trust your instincts if its botthering you. I say this because you say he gets mad when you try to talk to him about it. Spider-senses are tingling.....

Sorry to be the devil's advocate here, but the way you describe it....

this, i was thinking the same thing.

tlcarolinagirl · April 2014

Umm, I know someone who has 2 kids with his first cousin...I mean, ick! Has caused a ginormous divide in his family as some are ok with it and some aren't...Just ick. It started out with them just being close friends and then alcohol and "one thing leads to another". I actually questioned their "close relationship" bunches of times and was told by both they are just friends/cousins. I should've trusted my instincts......now, it's 2 kids later... BUT, the kids are adorbs. **shudders**

So, I dunno. Trust your insticts.

randomtai · April 2014

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ninerbuff · April 2014

Not uncommon. My female cousins are all really close to me. Sounds like jealousy.

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