Should I date a man with kids?
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Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)0 -
I'm sorry, you don't seem mature enough to date...
You want to be a teacher, but hate kids (or so it seems). Just no. I'd never have my child taught by you...
This is a guy who, evidently had children young... as a well paying job. Has his own house. Has future, potential, ambition etc. Which is a lot more than MANY guys can say nowadays - children or not.
^ This is all just so nasty. I'd ignore it.
You thinking ahead before jumping into the relationship actually shows maturity.
I didn't see anything in the OP that suggests that you hate children.
Just because this guy has "a lot more than MANY guys nowadays" doesn't mean you need to settle.
It's all from perspective.
If a guy came on here, said he was dating a girl but she got pissy he spent time with his kids, she was high-maintenence and so on and so forth, yet said she wanted to settle down, what would you say to him?
And no, she met him on POF, I'm assuming she knew he had kids before they 'started to see each other' (which is a relationship of some kind). if she knew she were high maintenence and such, why even bother responding to someone who clearly had committments that would outweigh her? That is immature and selfish. So is continuing to speak to, and lead on such a person, knowing those facts about yourself. To actually take it further and begin to date someone, and then decide he might not be right because of HER issues, well, words escape me.
I'd say he should break up with her. I'd also say it was too bad she didn't come to the forums to ask for dating advice before she got involved with him. Which is why I think some people are being harsh. She wanted advice, not attacks on her age, character, and wording.
Exactly, we would say she isn't right for him and all of this. That is what some posters are saying, but because she is the one who is in the wrong (again, perception), she gets the brunt of it.
Maybe if she had come before leading this poor guy along the advice would be different. I, personally, have no time for anyone who does what she did. It is just plain cruel for her to lead this man along, and then decide that, despite always having these issues, she probably can't hack it. It's not fair on the guy, whatsoever.
I have been in the guys position, and it is a ****ty one to be in. Maybe that's why I am overly harsh. I know what it is like to be on the recieving end of someone like the OP. She may see no wrong in it, but to the other party, it's a lot worse than just saying "sorry, I'm too high maintence".0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
You're a nasty person, just so you know. I see no anger in her posts, it seems you have some issues and don't like that a teenager is clearly more mature and more intelligent than you.0 -
You don't meet the kids until you've been dating a long time and the situation becomes obviously serious. If you are selfish and will require him to put you in front of his kids and think you will have jealousy issues then never date a man with kids. A good man will always have his priorities straight and to me that means knowing how to balance intimacy with his so and the raising of the children with a little more focus on the raising of the kids.0
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Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
I pity the people in your life then, if you treat them in such a manner.
I won't even respond to the second part. You know, respect others if you wish to be respected and other phrases along that line.
Why would my sons biological father having, or not having, a relationship, as the case maybe, influence my view of this woman?
Whether he has a relationship or not, it wouldn't affect me in terms of views on this subject. I would care if the other half of my life decided all of these issues, or if someone I was dating, had these issues. Not anyone else.
And because you like to patronise, I'll assume you meant *persistent.0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
Oh is that so? Wow...so little you think of the people that are giving SOUND advice.
no you miss understood me, those that are just attacking her are not giving sound advise
thats why I said angry posts, so I limited it to only the angry ones silly
I don't remember seeing any real angry posts. Just ones that were straight forward and I'm not sorry if the OP took offense to any of it. She needed to hear it.
Edited to correct typo
I think you need to take a chill pill, if you think I was derecting my posts to you you are wrong I didnt even see what you wrote,
Since I am a step mom I have been posting on things like this for years and I know the bratty step kids and bitter ex's always come out and spread their anger
I also didn't see any real "anger"
Did I say that I thought you were targeting me? No. Still doesn't change what I said. When I said I'm not sorry if the OP took offense, I wasn't saying about JUST what "I" was saying..but all the people that were telling it as it was. She needed to hear it.0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
You're a nasty person, just so you know. I see no anger in her posts, it seems you have some issues and don't like that a teenager is clearly more mature and more intelligent than you.
Hahaha you havn't tipped your hand like she did, but I am willing to bet you were pre bais to this situation too.
hahaha you both suck and need to get on with your life
Wow. You're so mature. My life is pretty epic and I don't run around on the internet trying to attack and bully teenagers.0 -
I'm sorry, you don't seem mature enough to date...
You want to be a teacher, but hate kids (or so it seems). Just no. I'd never have my child taught by you...
This is a guy who, evidently had children young... as a well paying job. Has his own house. Has future, potential, ambition etc. Which is a lot more than MANY guys can say nowadays - children or not.
^ This is all just so nasty. I'd ignore it.
You thinking ahead before jumping into the relationship actually shows maturity.
I didn't see anything in the OP that suggests that you hate children.
Just because this guy has "a lot more than MANY guys nowadays" doesn't mean you need to settle.
It's all from perspective.
If a guy came on here, said he was dating a girl but she got pissy he spent time with his kids, she was high-maintenence and so on and so forth, yet said she wanted to settle down, what would you say to him?
And no, she met him on POF, I'm assuming she knew he had kids before they 'started to see each other' (which is a relationship of some kind). if she knew she were high maintenence and such, why even bother responding to someone who clearly had committments that would outweigh her? That is immature and selfish. So is continuing to speak to, and lead on such a person, knowing those facts about yourself. To actually take it further and begin to date someone, and then decide he might not be right because of HER issues, well, words escape me.
I'd say he should break up with her. I'd also say it was too bad she didn't come to the forums to ask for dating advice before she got involved with him. Which is why I think some people are being harsh. She wanted advice, not attacks on her age, character, and wording.
Exactly, we would say she isn't right for him and all of this. That is what some posters are saying, but because she is the one who is in the wrong (again, perception), she gets the brunt of it.
Maybe if she had come before leading this poor guy along the advice would be different. I, personally, have no time for anyone who does what she did. It is just plain cruel for her to lead this man along, and then decide that, despite always having these issues, she probably can't hack it. It's not fair on the guy, whatsoever.
I have been in the guys position, and it is a ****ty one to be in. Maybe that's why I am overly harsh. I know what it is like to be on the recieving end of someone like the OP. She may see no wrong in it, but to the other party, it's a lot worse than just saying "sorry, I'm too high maintence".
Sometimes people want things to be okay and to work, then realize at a later time that it won't. Sadly, we don't know ourselves nearly as well as we wish we did.0 -
If you are not willing to share him with his kids and let them spend as much time together as possible I would say find someone who hasn´t children. I know how it is for children to come second to their parents. My children have to tolerate it and they don´t like it one bit and hate their fathers girlfriend, she doesn´t have children, doesn´t want children and doesn´t like children so it is mutual but never the less it´s my kids who suffer. Kids are kids and should get to stay kids/teens and get to have access to their parents as much as they want and need until they get all grown up.
This is only my opinion and it is made after seeing two children suffer and feel unloved by their father.0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
You're a nasty person, just so you know. I see no anger in her posts, it seems you have some issues and don't like that a teenager is clearly more mature and more intelligent than you.
Thanks
At almost 1am, and a 19 hour day, to someone with insomina like myself, this is just highly amusing.0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
you said your marrying a man who is not the father of your kid
ya you are or your going to be the bitter ex I was referring to earlier hahahaha! that's funny! you have problems
Ehm, why would I be bitter that I have moved on with my life, found a man who loves me, loves my son as his own, has his head screwed on, has potential and wants to be with me?
I see no issues with my life there, or any problems what so ever.0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
you said your marrying a man who is not the father of your kid
ya you are or your going to be the bitter ex I was referring to earlier hahahaha! that's funny! you have problems
So not cool. Now THAT was uncalled for.0 -
Wow. You're so mature. My life is pretty epic and I don't run around on the internet trying to attack and bully teenagers.
Again, thank you 0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
you said your marrying a man who is not the father of your kid
ya you are or your going to be the bitter ex I was referring to earlier hahahaha! that's funny! you have problems
Ehm, why would I be bitter that I have moved on with my life, found a man who loves me, loves my son as his own, has his head screwed on, has potential and wants to be with me?
I see no issues with my life there, or any problems what so ever.
the way your comming in here and how you just jumped on my comment, I doubt it!
but hey its o.k. I remember being 19 and thinking I knew everything, marrege will fix that for you, it will be the most wonderful and trying experence of your life, until then don't judge others who want to make h=good choices silly little girl
Peace I'm out!0 -
Sometimes people want things to be okay and to work, then realize at a later time that it won't. Sadly, we don't know ourselves nearly as well as we wish we did.
I cut all the before stuff out to save room
Again, as an issue of perspective, I think after 30odd years of life, around half of which was probably spent dating, I'd assume someone knows themself well enough to establish whether they know if they can 'share' someone or not (with kids, not cheating, swinging etc).0 -
the way your comming in here and how you just jumped on my comment, I doubt it!
but hey its o.k. I remember being 19 and thinking I knew everything, marrege will fix that for you, it will be the most wonderful and trying experence of your life, until then don't judge others who want to make h=good choices silly little girl
Peace I'm out!
* coming
* marriage
*experience
*good choices, silly little girl.
Please patronise people properly.
No of course I don't have someone who loves my son, myself, is finishing university, works a full time job, supports himself etc. That is why I'm marrying him. Because he hates me, hates my son, and does nothing with his life.
Seriously.0 -
Also be weary of the anger of other posters more then likely there bratty step kids or bitter ex's
So honestly just ignore them, it is SOOOOO COOOL you are asking this now, getting into a relationship of any kind should be treated careful and with an active brain
I don't see anything 'cool' in asking an internet forum if a grown woman should date a grown man because he has nearly grown kids - the only issues being she likes attention and is scared said man might give his kids more.
No, that isn't cool. It's selfish and immature.
Oh, I have still married parents, and I'm 19, and engaged to someone who ISN'T my sons father. Go take your assumptions elsewhere.
you need to calm down, you have a lot of growing to do dear, I know 19 seems like your a big girl now but you have a lot of growing to do still,
what would have been selfish is if she just married him and demanded the time, she is asking so she can decide if it is a good idea, I commend her on this
also you need to not be Narcissistic, I wasn't derrecting my post to you dear
1. I never once assumed your post was directly pointed at me, but more my category of posting - since I was 'mean'. My post was mean, yours was open, they related. Nothing narcissistic about that.
2. Your patronising ways will get you no where in life, regardless of how much older than myself you are, you seem so much younger by adopting such a tone and assuming it gives some sort of authority.
Hahaha, it has gotten me really far life life actually.
my statement was more then likely, do you understand what that means?
Also I was wondering you said you have a kid and you were marrying a man who wasn't the father, I am wondering does the father of your kid have a lady in his life, (maybe that were your presistant anger is coming from)
you said your marrying a man who is not the father of your kid
ya you are or your going to be the bitter ex I was referring to earlier hahahaha! that's funny! you have problems
Ehm, why would I be bitter that I have moved on with my life, found a man who loves me, loves my son as his own, has his head screwed on, has potential and wants to be with me?
I see no issues with my life there, or any problems what so ever.
the way your comming in here and how you just jumped on my comment, I doubt it!
but hey its o.k. I remember being 19 and thinking I knew everything, marrege will fix that for you, it will be the most wonderful and trying experence of your life, until then don't judge others who want to make h=good choices silly little girl
Peace I'm out!
Learn to spell before you type. You only make yourself sound like a "silly little girl."
Haha0 -
yep! been there, done that, earned the frequent flyer miles.Run for the hills, honey. I was in a similar situations several years ago, and unfortunately any man with kids will always put them first, irrespective of whether their needs are actually greater in the given situation, and who will always take their word over yours even if they're talking rubbish and you're the rational, reasonable one. If, at your own admission, you are someone who needs a lot of attention, choosing someone who is already destined to put you second (or third, as there are 2 kids!) is maybe not the best idea.
Sorry if this sounds negative - but I would have saved myself several years of heartache if someone had given me this advice a long time ago!0 -
the way your comming in here and how you just jumped on my comment, I doubt it!
but hey its o.k. I remember being 19 and thinking I knew everything, marrege will fix that for you, it will be the most wonderful and trying experence of your life, until then don't judge others who want to make h=good choices silly little girl
Peace I'm out!
THIS is a perfect example to youngsters on why they should stay in school.0 -
Sometimes people want things to be okay and to work, then realize at a later time that it won't. Sadly, we don't know ourselves nearly as well as we wish we did.
I cut all the before stuff out to save room
Again, as an issue of perspective, I think after 30odd years of life, around half of which was probably spent dating, I'd assume someone knows themself well enough to establish whether they know if they can 'share' someone or not (with kids, not cheating, swinging etc).
Depends on the situation. We can be pretty good at telling ourselves something will be a certain way if we want it that way bad enough. Look at Stockholm Syndrome for an extreme example of how messed up a human can get.0
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