Best response to a telemarketer.

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  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    my one aunt was fond of handing the phone to her toddler and letting him talk til the person hung up. Also fun is quietly setting the phone down and walking away....
  • Fvaisey
    Fvaisey Posts: 5,506 Member
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    I'm not sure how he does it, although I have listened while he did, he can get into a personal conversation with a telemarketer. He kept one lady on the phone for 20 minutes. She lived in Georgia, had so many children, one daughter his age, did not like her job, etc... He keeps us in stitches.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,672 Member
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    My best one:

    Me: Hello?

    Tel: May I speak with the owner of the house?

    Me: He's been murdered...........I'm detective Stadanko, who is this calling?

    Tel: Oh, I'm sorry................I'm just calling for soliciting purposes.

    Me: DON'T HANG UP..............I need to know who you are and where you work!

    Tel: Like I said, I was just calling to solicit a service..................

    Me: (slightly covering the mic) We got a trace on the line?
    Okay, whoever this is, we are on our way over to interrogate you. DO NOT LEAVE FROM WHERE YOU ARE.

    Tel: But, but.

    HANG UP PHONE

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
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    No, but I swear Antonio Banderas tried to sell me an internet/phone/tv bundle one time.
  • Deedsie
    Deedsie Posts: 348 Member
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    I say hi and let them give their canned speech. Then, I say, I'm sorry but I wasn't paying attention can you tell me again. The I wait and say it again and again until finally they hang up.
  • _VoV
    _VoV Posts: 1,494 Member
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    Me: Hello
    Them: Sales Pitch.
    Me: Oh, thank you for calling; however I have no need of these services at this time.
    Them: Trying to overcome objections.
    Me: I understand you are under a lot of pressure to sell, and appreciate that. You have a good day. Goodbye.

    WORKS EVERY TIME.

    I actually feel some sympathy for people who need to do this work. I just tell them that I never buy anything over the phone, so their time is wasted on me. Plus, I try to be sympathetic with their job. It works....mostly.
  • Chelsrf
    Chelsrf Posts: 194 Member
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    OP - Oh that's good.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    If they ask for me, I say that I'm 'my' brother and that i was killed in a fatal car accident, but my bereaved widow is here if they would like to talk to her...


    and if they try to sell me phone/cell phone deals I wait for the canned speech and ask if the phone has blue tooth and if I could use it for america and if it's free can I have more than one. I wait for responses then ask if i can use my existing headphones on it. I keep doing this until they hang up. never ever hang up on them first.
  • KittyCannibal
    KittyCannibal Posts: 165
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    Person: Is this the Krusty Crab?
    You: No this is Patrick!
    *hangs up*
  • HypersonicFitNess
    HypersonicFitNess Posts: 1,219 Member
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    Well a friend of mine told her 3 year old it was Mickey Mouse and put her on.... :)
  • aimeechantelle
    aimeechantelle Posts: 4 Member
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    "No I'm sorry they are not available"
    "Is there a friend or family member available?"
    "No afraid not, I'm just the burglar!"

    I had to just put the phone down, was in a funny mood so just fell about laughing!
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    I don't have time to read everyone's responses (sorry) but the best thing I ever did was tell a telemarketer to "hold on a sec...."

    I then:

    1. Grabbed my laundry, put it in the washer, checked to see if they were still there, "I'm sorry, just another minute.... I'll be right back"
    2. Folded a few towels, put them away in the hallway closet, went back to phone, they were still there, so I....
    3. Checked my email, and Facebook... went back to phone....

    they finally hung up ..... and NEVER called again.

    I'm pretty sure they were on the phone a good 10 minutes waiting for me to, "come right back"...

    LOL
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
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    I answer and say hello since I don't always recognize the number, once they are about 4-5 words into the conversation (long enough to say it's a telemarketing type call) and then I immediately say I am not interested and *click*.

    They do not deserve my time when they forcibly have wasted it in the past :/
  • FitnessPalWorks
    FitnessPalWorks Posts: 1,128 Member
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    I say hi and let them give their canned speech. Then, I say, I'm sorry but I wasn't paying attention can you tell me again. The I wait and say it again and again until finally they hang up.

    That's something comedian Jim Florentine would do... has anyone heard this?

    http://youtu.be/BvaIqLsPCOU

    BTW, Jim told me himself that after this call the guy got fired from his job. LOL
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
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    I was always a fan of either screaming into the phone or using a whistle.
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    I had to sell a phone over the phone, dumbest idea ever....so 1 time this guy answered, and he said he had that exact phone already, lol.
  • Nessiechickie
    Nessiechickie Posts: 1,392 Member
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    "What are you wearing?"
    Sometimes it can back fire :S

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