Why Don't Men Change their CLothes????

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  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Your husband =/= all men.

    All they guys I've dated have been very into cleanliness and making sure their appearance is spot on.

    I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem. Teenage boys are usually pretty disgusting and some of them grow up to be disgusting men. Like my husband. He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    I think it's some kind of old-school BS to judge a man's wife by his appearance. Men are totally capable of dressing themselves and if people really think it's a woman's job to mollycoddle her husband, I don't respect their opinions anyway, so I don't care what they think.


    Well I don't have to care what you think either. I was raised that you always take care of yourself and your family. My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look. We weren't rich by anyone standards, but we never looked broke. So its not about a woman's job, its about a family's responsibilities to one another. I would hope my husband would have a problem if I went out with him looking dirty or dingy, but we were raised differently and he doesn't value this as I do. Once I asked would his mother let him do this and she said yes and she did. I was floored because my mother would never let us wear the same outfit twice within a week.

    I like how you determine what's okay for your marriage based not on human decency and hygiene but on what's ok with your mom.
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    I wear the same jeans , a few times a week some times .
    I really don't see a problem unless your husband is also wearing his same boxer ,Briefs a few times a week, ..That will be a good time to say WTF.

    If he did that, I think we have grounds for divorce ewww
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Your husband =/= all men.

    All they guys I've dated have been very into cleanliness and making sure their appearance is spot on.

    I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem. Teenage boys are usually pretty disgusting and some of them grow up to be disgusting men. Like my husband. He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    I think it's some kind of old-school BS to judge a man's wife by his appearance. Men are totally capable of dressing themselves and if people really think it's a woman's job to mollycoddle her husband, I don't respect their opinions anyway, so I don't care what they think.


    Well I don't have to care what you think either. I was raised that you always take care of yourself and your family. My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look. We weren't rich by anyone standards, but we never looked broke. So its not about a woman's job, its about a family's responsibilities to one another. I would hope my husband would have a problem if I went out with him looking dirty or dingy, but we were raised differently and he doesn't value this as I do. Once I asked would his mother let him do this and she said yes and she did. I was floored because my mother would never let us wear the same outfit twice within a week.


    Sounds like you didn't do your due diligence before saying "I do".
  • thump418
    thump418 Posts: 251 Member
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    I will wear the same jeans, everything else gets changed everyday.
  • little_silver_bell
    little_silver_bell Posts: 79
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    That is why no one wanted him......well except.

    oh gosh lol
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Your husband =/= all men.

    All they guys I've dated have been very into cleanliness and making sure their appearance is spot on.

    I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem. Teenage boys are usually pretty disgusting and some of them grow up to be disgusting men. Like my husband. He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    I think it's some kind of old-school BS to judge a man's wife by his appearance. Men are totally capable of dressing themselves and if people really think it's a woman's job to mollycoddle her husband, I don't respect their opinions anyway, so I don't care what they think.


    Well I don't have to care what you think either. I was raised that you always take care of yourself and your family. My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look. We weren't rich by anyone standards, but we never looked broke. So its not about a woman's job, its about a family's responsibilities to one another. I would hope my husband would have a problem if I went out with him looking dirty or dingy, but we were raised differently and he doesn't value this as I do. Once I asked would his mother let him do this and she said yes and she did. I was floored because my mother would never let us wear the same outfit twice within a week.

    Interesting. Like I said in my first post, I don't have this problem. So.....
  • cynthiaj777
    cynthiaj777 Posts: 787 Member
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    If it isn't dirty and it doesn't smell (or look like it has been warn), I don't wash it. I wear my jeans multiple times before washing them. It tears them up to wash them, and I'm not rich. Oh, and I wear my bras multiple times before washing, obviously. I don't ever wear the same undies though. That's all that matters.

    BUT I will wear the same clothes to bed all week. I shower before bed, sleep then take them off. Who cares.

    I save money and save the wear and tear on my clothes.

    I do kind of understand what you are saying though. If he gets all pissy when you talk about it, then get pissy too. If he's defensive, you get defensive. I don't like that one sided BS. He can get mad because you say something about him wearing the same clothes, but you can't get mad because he is wearing the same clothes. If it were ME, I'd have a heated discussion about it, so he finally KNOWS that it truly bother me.
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    Your husband =/= all men.

    All they guys I've dated have been very into cleanliness and making sure their appearance is spot on.

    I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem. Teenage boys are usually pretty disgusting and some of them grow up to be disgusting men. Like my husband. He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    I think it's some kind of old-school BS to judge a man's wife by his appearance. Men are totally capable of dressing themselves and if people really think it's a woman's job to mollycoddle her husband, I don't respect their opinions anyway, so I don't care what they think.


    Well I don't have to care what you think either. I was raised that you always take care of yourself and your family. My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look. We weren't rich by anyone standards, but we never looked broke. So its not about a woman's job, its about a family's responsibilities to one another. I would hope my husband would have a problem if I went out with him looking dirty or dingy, but we were raised differently and he doesn't value this as I do. Once I asked would his mother let him do this and she said yes and she did. I was floored because my mother would never let us wear the same outfit twice within a week.

    You're equating wearing an outfit once with dirtiness. Unless you're a manual laborer, a lot of clothing items could probably be worn more than once before really needing a washing.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    I wear the same jeans , a few times a week some times .
    I really don't see a problem unless your husband is also wearing his same boxer ,Briefs a few times a week, ..That will be a good time to say WTF.

    If he did that, I think we have grounds for divorce ewww

    People change underwear daily? THAT to me is WTF. I wear the same underwear 2 days in a row, then turn it inside out and I have 2 more days to go!
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    Your husband =/= all men.

    All they guys I've dated have been very into cleanliness and making sure their appearance is spot on.

    I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem. Teenage boys are usually pretty disgusting and some of them grow up to be disgusting men. Like my husband. He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    I think it's some kind of old-school BS to judge a man's wife by his appearance. Men are totally capable of dressing themselves and if people really think it's a woman's job to mollycoddle her husband, I don't respect their opinions anyway, so I don't care what they think.


    Well I don't have to care what you think either. I was raised that you always take care of yourself and your family. My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look. We weren't rich by anyone standards, but we never looked broke. So its not about a woman's job, its about a family's responsibilities to one another. I would hope my husband would have a problem if I went out with him looking dirty or dingy, but we were raised differently and he doesn't value this as I do. Once I asked would his mother let him do this and she said yes and she did. I was floored because my mother would never let us wear the same outfit twice within a week.


    Sounds like you didn't do your due diligence before saying "I do".

    Yep, i married a slob. He did a pretty good job hiding it. But now he just lets it all hang out. Now I'm a nag because I have to call out things that should be common sense.
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
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    He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    You are a reflection of your spouse?

    Are you saying that your husband's slob habits make you look bad? His inability to follow basic hygiene social standards would cause others to think poorly of you?? WOW!

    OMG Is that what a wife is supposed to feel and do? If I see a slob guy and the wife is not a slob, I never think it is a reflection on the wife. He's a big boy making his own choices, and he must be good in bed for her to put up with that sh*#.

    But what do I know...

    I am a problem solver though....
    If you want to groom him in order to up your perception of your reflection, then perhaps it is time for some outside the box thinking. At night when he takes off the dirty clothes, wait until he falls asleep then hide those clothes. When he has worn all his clothes, then you can "find" his clothes and wash them since it sounds like he never does laundry.
    To get him to shower, throw some bait in the shower - beer, pizza, fantasy football stats, naked women - then have the carwash brush ready to scour off his pigpen stench when he goes for the bait.

    Good luck!
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I'm a member of the nerd community. Often us older nerds have to remind the younger ones to change their clothes a few times a week. I get your pain.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    Maybe you're spending all his money and he can't afford enough new ones for a full work's week of variety?~

    He has a huge closet full of clothes. He doesn't have to wear the same thing twice for a month or more.. But generally will pick up what is in front of him, and that is how he repeats. I do understand repeating jeans before they are washed. A lot of people wear jeans more than once before washing them, but its everything. Just wish he would stop, but I'm a nag if I bring it up and he gets pissed. Today I just gave him a look and he knew what that look was and got pissed.

    Was just joking around about that. I definitely wear the same articles a few times before washing them. It tears up your clothes and I hate laundry. He probably has a few 'favourites' he likes and those are his mainstays. I have a few pieces I barely ever wear and they hang up indefinitely, but my favourites are always in rotation.

    Either way, if you've already said it's an issue and he hasn't addressed it, he probably won't until he's ready or until someone else comments about it. Or unless you find another way to approach it, i.e. leap on his clothes the second he takes them off and throw them feverishly into the wash before he gets a chance to re-wear them (kidding again). Either way, it's up to him to decide how he will face the world and it really is a much smaller reflection on you and a much larger reflection on him - if it's as inappropriate as you perceive it to be. It will work out... part of being with someone is dealing with the little stuff and not taking it too personally if the other is not immediately receptive to your point of view. Best of luck.

    Thanks, I'm going to need luck. I just can't wash these clothes fast enough. I try biting my tongue but it is sooo hard

    I hate laundry too. I've been sick the past week, laundry has taken a back seat. I have a lot of catching up to do... lol. Sometimes it is the small things that get on your nerves. Make sure there isn't a bigger issue that's irritating you - like maybe he isn't listening in some other way, or you have underlying stresses you haven't really acknowledged yet. If it's just laundry, feel blessed. There are a lot worse things and I would hesitate to bring it up further. Maybe buy him an Old Spice gift set for Christmas and a can of Febreeze. :laugh:
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    I wear the same jeans , a few times a week some times .
    I really don't see a problem unless your husband is also wearing his same boxer ,Briefs a few times a week, ..That will be a good time to say WTF.

    If he did that, I think we have grounds for divorce ewww

    People change underwear daily? THAT to me is WTF. I wear the same underwear 2 days in a row, then turn it inside out and I have 2 more days to go!

    Stop wearing underwear. Problem eliminated. New problem - need to wash pants more often...
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    You're equating wearing an outfit once with dirtiness. Unless you're a manual laborer, a lot of clothing items could probably be worn more than once before really needing a washing.


    That's the rationale behind underwear anyhow.
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
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    My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look.

    Well...duh! Moms and Dads are supposed to take care of children.
    OMG You married a child! I didn't understand that part of the story. I assumed you married a man!
    LOL My bad!

    Carry on!
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I'm a member of the nerd community. Often us older nerds have to remind the younger ones to change their clothes a few times a week. I get your pain.


    Gamers are the worst. (Didn't Blizzard have an in-game campaign at one time encouraging their players to shower and change clothes occasionally?)
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.

    You are a reflection of your spouse?

    Are you saying that your husband's slob habits make you look bad? His inability to follow basic hygiene social standards would cause others to think poorly of you?? WOW!

    OMG Is that what a wife is supposed to feel and do? If I see a slob guy and the wife is not a slob, I never think it is a reflection on the wife. He's a big boy making his own choices, and he must be good in bed for her to put up with that sh*#.

    But what do I know...

    I am a problem solver though....
    If you want to groom him in order to up your perception of your reflection, then perhaps it is time for some outside the box thinking. At night when he takes off the dirty clothes, wait until he falls asleep then hide those clothes. When he has worn all his clothes, then you can "find" his clothes and wash them since it sounds like he never does laundry.
    To get him to shower, throw some bait in the shower - beer, pizza, fantasy football stats, naked women - then have the carwash brush ready to scour off his pigpen stench when he goes for the bait.

    Good luck!

    I like your thinking. I will be hiding clothes tonight. There was this green fleece pullover and blue pants that he wore so much, his friends started to call it his uniform. He would put it on everyday to go to Starbucks, go to the gym or whatever errands he had to run. But the thing is he would put it on everyday. I hated it so much and was so sick of him wearing it I had almost a year ago and bought him a few pair of black sweats. He still hasn't found it. That reminds me, I have to throw it out before he does.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Your husband =/= all men.

    All they guys I've dated have been very into cleanliness and making sure their appearance is spot on.

    I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem. Teenage boys are usually pretty disgusting and some of them grow up to be disgusting men. Like my husband. He didn't really do this when we were dating, but now that we are married I guess he feels like he doesn't have to try. I think this even worse, because you are a reflection of your spouse and when your spouse is going to work with the same clothes on Friday that he had on Wednesday, it looks like his wife is on strike.
    I got married in the 21st century, so luckily, the bolded statement doesn't apply to me.


    So sorry you still live by the rules of yesteryear.



    ****STAFF NOTE: Post has been edite due to violations of guideline #01****
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/welcome/guidelines
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
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    My mother wouldn't dare have her children go outside in old dirty clothes while she was dressed to the nines. She always said we are a reflection of her. We were raised to take pride in how we look.

    Well...duh! Moms and Dads are supposed to take care of children.
    OMG You married a child! I didn't understand that part of the story. I assumed you married a man!
    LOL My bad!

    Carry on!


    Unfortunately there are a lot of Man-Childs out there, they disguise themselves as men while you are dating. Then when you get married, the full man-child comes out and you are standing their like wtf

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