Why Don't Men Change their CLothes????

MoreBean13

I know men aren't expected to be as neat as women. Obviously there are exceptions, but my husband OMG wears the same clothes over and over and over again. He doesn't even wait a week, he might wear the same outfit to work three times in a week. He works in a very visible profession. He has plenty of clothes but is too lazy to look in his closet to pick anything else out. It is so disgusting because he is repeating clothes before I have a chance to wash them. It is also a bad reflection on me. I mean as a wife, if your husband is walking around looking crazy then people will think you don't take care of him. He gets mad every time I bring it up. When we go on vacation I have to pack all his clothes by the outfit, because if I don't he will wear the same thing everyday of our trip. Help, what can I do to get him to break this disgusting habit.

Same reason why women don't shave their legs everyday.

WOAH. I think you forgot the word 'some'- as in "some women don't shave their legs everyday."
I shave my legs every single day. There's probably less than 20 days total since I went through puberty that I have not shaved my legs. I even bring a razor and shave in the river on camping trips.

TyFit08

So, here's what we've learned in this forum.

1. The OP posted a thread looking for advice, but then insulted anyone who criticized her.
2. Her husband is a slob/ man-child which she admits, and that means she has motherly issues because she takes care of and encourages this.
3.The fact, that she thinks most men are like her husband shows she doesn't know too many men, and that her husband is actually the exception to the rule.

As for me, I have OCD, my house stays immaculate, including my car and even my dog is always clean and no stinky doggy breath as I feed him minty milkbones.

I have no problem with criticism. But a particular poster insulted my marriage and me. You can express your views without doing that and most people have. We don't have to all agree, but just because this is the internet doesn't mean manners and common respect don't apply. I don't think most men are like my husband, though its clear based on the posts here that he is not alone. I do think in general it is accepted and expected for men to not be neat, hence the humor in a character like Felix in the Odd Couple which is still perpetuated in the media today. The fact is, it bothers me. He knows it. He does it anyway, thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I've gotten some good tips, a few laughs and a chance to vent. If I was with someone who has OCD like yourself, I would probably be posting about it too because just like being a slob, that drives most people bonkers too.

JennyLisT

I would judge you for your whiny, self-pitying attitude long before your "slobby" husband.

Don't jump people for criticizing your marriage after you've done it for 5+ pages.

I know that I wear some clothes (mostly jeans and work slacks) twice before washing them. I'll wash them if I have a particularly sweaty/messy day, but there's no need to waste time and water otherwise.

mmapags

Maybe your husband feel that you were a supportive loving woman when dating but then he married you and suddenly you decide it's your job to fix and criticize him? It's like the old cartoon Pogo used to say, "we have found the enemy and it is us!". Examine your own heart and motives.

Iron_warrior33

So, here's what we've learned in this forum.

1. The OP posted a thread looking for advice, but then insulted anyone who criticized her.
2. Her husband is a slob/ man-child which she admits, and that means she has motherly issues because she takes care of and encourages this.
3.The fact, that she thinks most men are like her husband shows she doesn't know too many men, and that her husband is actually the exception to the rule.

As for me, I have OCD, my house stays immaculate, including my car and even my dog is always clean and no stinky doggy breath as I feed him minty milkbones.

I have no problem with criticism. But a particular poster insulted my marriage and me. You can express your views without doing that and most people have. We don't have to all agree, but just because this is the internet doesn't mean manners and common respect don't apply. I don't think most men are like my husband, though its clear based on the posts here that he is not alone. I do think in general it is accepted and expected for men to not be neat, hence the humor in a character like Felix in the Odd Couple which is still perpetuated in the media today. The fact is, it bothers me. He knows it. He does it anyway, thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I've gotten some good tips, a few laughs and a chance to vent. If I was with someone who has OCD like yourself, I would probably be posting about it too because just like being a slob, that drives most people bonkers too.

Sorry, but i don't feel my post was insulting or disrespectful in anyway, simply restating what you previously stated. You stated that most men are not neat, meaning they messy. You're exact words. "I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem." Let's not forget, "Unfortunately there are a lot of Man-Childs out there, they disguise themselves as men while you are dating. Then when you get married, the full man-child comes out and you are standing their like wtf." Which is insulting to most men. As far as my statement about the motherly issues, Hmm when you compare how your mother took care of you to how you're taking care of your husband, yes that's motherly issues.

bettacheckyoself

I want a man that likes to snuggle............

TyFit08

Pick his clothes out for him. Make 5 outfits - label them Mon - Tue etc. Done. End of problem. Next post.

I was going to say something similar. When I used to work in an office, I used to have 3 weeks worth of business suits. Each one was in the closet together with the blouse or two that went with it and possibly a scarf. All I had to do was match up with a pair of black or brown shoes. Maybe you can manage this a little bit with such a system. Shirts get dry cleaned each time he wears them but the suits could be worn a few times, depending on how "messy/sweaty" he is. hehe

I used to have my closet organized that way. It was very convenient because it took the thought out of deciding what to wear to work. We don't have the closet space now, but plan to move soon. Hopefully I can do some serious organizing. I think he doesn't bother to look through its closet because it's packed. I do agree the suits can be worn more than once before heading to the cleaners. He wears suits or business casual look to work. The suits aren't the problem, because a different tie or pocket square makes it look like a new outfit, but when he does bus cas, he will wear the same things over and over. He works in a very public profession, so that is why repeating the clothes bugs me even more. He also does this in his off time and I think if I didn't stop him he would rotate between his two fav shirts and two fav pants all the time. . Since this annoys me, I guess I have to make it as easy as possible for him to stop. That way I get what I want and he doesn't have to put any effort into something he doesn't want to put any effort into.

TyFit08

So, here's what we've learned in this forum.

1. The OP posted a thread looking for advice, but then insulted anyone who criticized her.
2. Her husband is a slob/ man-child which she admits, and that means she has motherly issues because she takes care of and encourages this.
3.The fact, that she thinks most men are like her husband shows she doesn't know too many men, and that her husband is actually the exception to the rule.

As for me, I have OCD, my house stays immaculate, including my car and even my dog is always clean and no stinky doggy breath as I feed him minty milkbones.

I have no problem with criticism. But a particular poster insulted my marriage and me. You can express your views without doing that and most people have. We don't have to all agree, but just because this is the internet doesn't mean manners and common respect don't apply. I don't think most men are like my husband, though its clear based on the posts here that he is not alone. I do think in general it is accepted and expected for men to not be neat, hence the humor in a character like Felix in the Odd Couple which is still perpetuated in the media today. The fact is, it bothers me. He knows it. He does it anyway, thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I've gotten some good tips, a few laughs and a chance to vent. If I was with someone who has OCD like yourself, I would probably be posting about it too because just like being a slob, that drives most people bonkers too.

Sorry, but i don't feel my post was insulting or disrespectful in anyway, simply restating what you previously stated. You stated that most men are not neat, meaning they messy. You're exact words. "I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem." Let's not forget, "Unfortunately there are a lot of Man-Childs out there, they disguise themselves as men while you are dating. Then when you get married, the full man-child comes out and you are standing their like wtf." Which is insulting to most men. As far as my statement about the motherly issues, Hmm when you compare how your mother took care of you to how you're taking care of your husband, yes that's motherly issues.

That comment wasn't directed at you. It was a clarification. You weren't the poster that insulted me. I may not be a fan of the motherly issues comment, but maybe you are right. I was raised my a strong single mom who didn't tolerate certain things in her home. I grew up to feel these things aren't acceptable, so I don't like when my husband does things that don't fit this value system. I do find myself mothering him, but believe me it is not on purpose. But there are some values that I value more than he does and I would like for that to be how we run our home and eventually our family. Hard to tell your children to do something when the parents don't. And the Man Child statement was a joke in response to another lighthearted comment about men not changing their clothes once they get married and men acting like children. If you found that offensive, my apologies, but again, it was a joke. Now there was no indication that the poster that insulted me was joking, the intent is crystal clear which prompted my response.

Iron_warrior33

So, here's what we've learned in this forum.

1. The OP posted a thread looking for advice, but then insulted anyone who criticized her.
2. Her husband is a slob/ man-child which she admits, and that means she has motherly issues because she takes care of and encourages this.
3.The fact, that she thinks most men are like her husband shows she doesn't know too many men, and that her husband is actually the exception to the rule.

As for me, I have OCD, my house stays immaculate, including my car and even my dog is always clean and no stinky doggy breath as I feed him minty milkbones.

I have no problem with criticism. But a particular poster insulted my marriage and me. You can express your views without doing that and most people have. We don't have to all agree, but just because this is the internet doesn't mean manners and common respect don't apply. I don't think most men are like my husband, though its clear based on the posts here that he is not alone. I do think in general it is accepted and expected for men to not be neat, hence the humor in a character like Felix in the Odd Couple which is still perpetuated in the media today. The fact is, it bothers me. He knows it. He does it anyway, thinks I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I've gotten some good tips, a few laughs and a chance to vent. If I was with someone who has OCD like yourself, I would probably be posting about it too because just like being a slob, that drives most people bonkers too.

Sorry, but i don't feel my post was insulting or disrespectful in anyway, simply restating what you previously stated. You stated that most men are not neat, meaning they messy. You're exact words. "I said in my post that men aren't expected to be neat and their are exceptions. Not saying every men takes it to the level of my husband, but being neat isn't an expectation of men and that is the problem." Let's not forget, "Unfortunately there are a lot of Man-Childs out there, they disguise themselves as men while you are dating. Then when you get married, the full man-child comes out and you are standing their like wtf." Which is insulting to most men. As far as my statement about the motherly issues, Hmm when you compare how your mother took care of you to how you're taking care of your husband, yes that's motherly issues.

That comment wasn't directed at you. It was a clarification. You weren't the poster that insulted me. I may not be a fan of the motherly issues comment, but maybe you are right. I was raised my a strong single mom who didn't tolerate certain things in her home. I grew up to feel these things aren't acceptable, so I don't like when my husband does things that don't fit this value system. I do find myself mothering him, but believe me it is not on purpose. But there are some values that I value more than he does and I would like for that to be how we run our home and eventually our family. Hard to tell your children to do something when the parents don't. And the Man Child statement was a joke in response to another lighthearted comment about men not changing their clothes once they get married and men acting like children. If you found that offensive, my apologies, but again, it was a joke. Now there was no indication that the poster that insulted me was joking, the intent is crystal clear which prompted my response.

Oh, ok. Sorry for the misunderstanding, since you quoted my post last, I thought it was directed towards me.

atsteele

Pick his clothes out for him. Make 5 outfits - label them Mon - Tue etc. Done. End of problem. Next post.

I was going to say something similar. When I used to work in an office, I used to have 3 weeks worth of business suits. Each one was in the closet together with the blouse or two that went with it and possibly a scarf. All I had to do was match up with a pair of black or brown shoes. Maybe you can manage this a little bit with such a system. Shirts get dry cleaned each time he wears them but the suits could be worn a few times, depending on how "messy/sweaty" he is. hehe

I used to have my closet organized that way. It was very convenient because it took the thought out of deciding what to wear to work. We don't have the closet space now, but plan to move soon. Hopefully I can do some serious organizing. I think he doesn't bother to look through its closet because it's packed. I do agree the suits can be worn more than once before heading to the cleaners. He wears suits or business casual look to work. The suits aren't the problem, because a different tie or pocket square makes it look like a new outfit, but when he does bus cas, he will wear the same things over and over. He works in a very public profession, so that is why repeating the clothes bugs me even more. He also does this in his off time and I think if I didn't stop him he would rotate between his two fav shirts and two fav pants all the time. . Since this annoys me, I guess I have to make it as easy as possible for him to stop. That way I get what I want and he doesn't have to put any effort into something he doesn't want to put any effort into.

Well, I wasn't suggesting that you put ALL the effort into this. LOL I was thinking more in the lines of you setting up the initial "system" and then explain how you set it up and how often things get washed. Then all he has to do is follow the new "rules". The easier that you make this system for him, the more likely he'll do it for you. I'd arrange his suits in whatever manner makes sense for you both. And then put a laundry basket right next to the closet so that when he changes his clothes, he can just drop his dirty shirts into the basket and you can take them to the dry cleaners for him. He'd probably like that, I would imagine. And as long as he keeps his part of the bargain by rotating his clothes and dropping dirty shirts into the basket, and you keep your part of the bargain by making sure clothes get washed/dry cleaned when needed, I think that it's a win-win.

udremeei

PLOT TWIST: OP's husband wears a uniform to work.

trojanbb

My appearance is spot on every day. Thanks.

sm1zzle

Your husband is just a slob. I change my clothes every day...clean clothes.

lol

AllTehBeers

My appearance is spot on every day. Thanks.

As long as you keep your shirt off, I agree.

chocl8girl

That is why no one wanted him......well except.

This almost made me snort my coffee. :flowerforyou:

tigersword

Thanks for those that helped and were able to make a light of a frustrating issue. I really love the hiding clothes at night suggestion and I think I will do that. But as always with MFP, there are instances where the discussion takes an unnecessary turn beyond friendly comments and suggestions on a topic that shouldn't even be controversial.

Shouldn't be controversial? You insulted all men. That is controversial enough. Implying that men who shower and wear clean clothes everyday are an exception is incredibly offensive and Insulting to the vast majority of us normal men. Sorry your husband is apparently a slob who doesn't care about hygiene, but that doesn't give you any right to insult all of us men, and then act all offended when we call you out on it.