Women and Body Shaming

AllTehBeers

I totally agree but you have to see it from a chubby girl's point of view. We need quotes and positive affirmation like this because we deal with people be mean to us for no reason all the time. And truth of the matter is most guys dont want (or dont admit to wanting) the chubbier girl because they dont wanna be out in public with them because they will be made fun of (i know this cause ive been the peson getting made fun of) So yea body shaming is dumb on both account (girls hating on the fatties and fatties hating on skinny women) but it's just to make us feel better and wanted. My philosophy is noone should be skinny of fat. Be comfortable and if someone else doesnt look like you who gives a ****? Dont hate on them for that

You see those comments because that's where you are at in life. I've been skinny, fat and muscular. I've gotten nasty comments no matter how I've looked. That's what the OP is getting at. No matter what we look like we should never bash on another body type to make ourselves feel good.

This.

Camandes

Someone wants to get laid.

No more than usual - and there's only one girl for me

ErinGBragh

It's funny because just this morning I was thinking about how positive most of the guys on here have been towards women. Women who think all men are dogs should really spend some time on here to see how that isn't always so. You guys give men a good name. So thanks!

ethieman

LOVE this thread! I've been thin and am currently fat, but, as another poster said, "It's MY body and I rock it!" I've had many men and women tell me that the sexiest thing about me is my confidence, I dare say that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear, no matter her size or shape.

I walk around the locker room in my skivvies and squeeze my body into a swimming suit 4 times a week to then march to my swimming lane in front of the university swimming team and masters swimmers. Life is too short to be miserable in the only skin you get in this lifetime. We need to stop teaching our young girls and encouraging women to increase their self worth by decreasing the worth of others. We need to uplift and empower ALL women so we stop looking so ridiculous and petty!

The only thing you have control over is your own actions, and if you don't have something nice to say, keep your trap shut!

AllTehBeers

It's funny because just this morning I was thinking about how positive most of the guys on here have been towards women. Women who think all men are dogs should really spend some time on here to see how that isn't always so. You guys give men a good name. So thanks!

Absolutely. Most guys here, even if a certain body type isn't their personal preference, won't hate on women who have bigger or smaller bodies.

sissiluv

Funny, most of the body shaming I've gone through came from both sexes and started before I even knew what 'fat' meant. Now that I've gotten older, it only comes from douches on the internet (male, btw) who post my picture from my profile when I'm in the middle of a 'debate' with them. Thankfully I'm not ten anymore and it doesn't effect me as much as it used to.
(it also turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was your typical fit eight year old who probably ran amok at least an hour a day. Two years later I'm terrified of leaving the house and have taken to eating my emotions while staring mindlessly at the TV. Needless to say I gained a LOT.)

I've written about this before. When you hear something like this day in, day out, constantly on a year to year basis it WILL over-ride your confidence and self-esteem, then smash them to itty bitty bits. Body shaming is a form of verbal abuse after all.
Moreso, we have this thing called a negativity bias. I'm sure you've noticed how the negative tends to stand out so much more than the positive, even when you're a healthy non-clinically depressed person? That's that at play and it just compounds it when all you're hearing IS negative. Eventually one will probably start to believe what they're hearing full-heartedly, as long as it comes often enough.

Of course I'm sure you're not talking about it as though it's a daily event, said multiple times a day sort of deal. Nonetheless thought I'd add my two cents.

AllTehBeers

Maybe women do it, but men don't. We don't go around saying, "that girl is fat, that girl is skinny, that girl has no boobs, that girl has no *kitten*" etc... no one cares.

If you're one of those girls who is self conscious, thinking to herself, "They think i am fat, they think i am skinny, they think i have no boobs, they think I have no *kitten*" Truth is, if you really knew how little someone thought of you, you'd probably be offend.

LOL love this.

zombiekookie

Positive body images, FTW. I find it funny that these girls are stating they say these things about skinny ladies to make themselves feel better about their current weight, when you are probably on this site to lose weight. Though, this problem is else where.

Besides, humans come in different sizes. A woman is not defined by her shape or appearance. Usually it's your sex or gender identity that makes you a woman.

CoderGal

Someone wants to get laid.

No more than usual - and there's only one girl for me

like

MaraDiaz

Maybe women do it, but men don't. We don't go around saying, "that girl is fat, that girl is skinny, that girl has no boobs, that girl has no *kitten*" etc... no one cares.

If you're one of those girls who is self conscious, thinking to herself, "They think i am fat, they think i am skinny, they think i have no boobs, they think I have no *kitten*" Truth is, if you really knew how little someone thought of you, you'd probably be offend.

Isn't that the truth!

One trick women need to learn from some men I've met is, be self confident no matter what you look like and you'll get what you want. If you're sitting there in public obsessing about whether your belly roll is showing through your shirt, you're just giving off misery vibes and no one is going to go near you anyway.

bbgughj

Nice !

Mutant13

I totally agree but you have to see it from a chubby girl's point of view. We need quotes and positive affirmation like this because we deal with people be mean to us for no reason all the time. And truth of the matter is most guys dont want (or dont admit to wanting) the chubbier girl because they dont wanna be out in public with them because they will be made fun of (i know this cause ive been the peson getting made fun of) So yea body shaming is dumb on both account (girls hating on the fatties and fatties hating on skinny women) but it's just to make us feel better and wanted. My philosophy is noone should be skinny of fat. Be comfortable and if someone else doesnt look like you who gives a ****? Dont hate on them for that

Nobody needs quotes or positive affirmations that bring other people down.

It is one thing to say "curves are beautiful" or "I'm proud of my shape"
It's a whole different thing to say "Curvy women are the REAL women" or "Men don't want sticks/skeletons/twigs"

TwistedFun

the women who make fun of thin women who have done nothing to them are perpetuating the same attitude that puts fat women into "undesirable" category. at the end of the day, if they had a choice, im sure they would prefer to be thin. anyone who says that theyd rather be overweight than skinny (or underweight) is deluding themselves.

chocl8girl

ironanimal

the women who make fun of thin women who have done nothing to them are perpetuating the same attitude that puts fat women into "undesirable" category. at the end of the day, if they had a choice, im sure they would prefer to be thin. anyone who says that theyd rather be overweight than skinny (or underweight) is deluding themselves.

I have to disagree with this; this is swinging it the other way. There is no such thing as an undesirable category; perhaps your pool of suitors diminishes at different sizes, but your self worth and value to others is not measured by the waist band on your trousers.

Some (a lot actually) people actually would prefer to be overweight than underweight. If this is something you would deny, you have no place commenting on body shaming either, as you are perpetuating the hate as much as a larger woman insulting a thinner woman.

ErinGBragh

Funny, most of the body shaming I've gone through came from both sexes and started before I even knew what 'fat' meant. Now that I've gotten older, it only comes from douches on the internet (male, btw) who post my picture from my profile when I'm in the middle of a 'debate' with them. Thankfully I'm not ten anymore and it doesn't effect me as much as it used to.
(it also turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I was your typical fit eight year old who probably ran amok at least an hour a day. Two years later I'm terrified of leaving the house and have taken to eating my emotions while staring mindlessly at the TV. Needless to say I gained a LOT.)

There are definitely a lot of sites with douchey guys. Are you getting this abuse on Reddit or a similar site? If so, there's your answer...that's where a lot of the nerdy basement-dweller guys hang out. Nerds can be the worse (CAN be, not all, because my husband is an awesome person). You should read this article, because it can be true (unfortunately seen it with some of my college "friends" who now have daughters):

http://jezebel.com/5923672/nerd-dads-discover-women-are-people-after-having-baby-girls

crisanderson27

I totally agree but you have to see it from a chubby girl's point of view. We need quotes and positive affirmation like this because we deal with people be mean to us for no reason all the time. And truth of the matter is most guys dont want (or dont admit to wanting) the chubbier girl because they dont wanna be out in public with them because they will be made fun of (i know this cause ive been the peson getting made fun of) So yea body shaming is dumb on both account (girls hating on the fatties and fatties hating on skinny women) but it's just to make us feel better and wanted. My philosophy is noone should be skinny of fat. Be comfortable and if someone else doesnt look like you who gives a ****? Dont hate on them for that

I agree. Honestly I think most men promote the stereotypes and shaming between women. Take for example the man who's signifigant other is alittle insecure with herself... Is he reassuring her that he likes her looks, or is he turning his head to check out the girl that just walked by? Commenting during a movie about how attractive that actress is? Afraid to go out in public with her because she isn't society standard "hot"

So lets see, your self esteem needs a boost, so put down an entire group of women, and lie to yourself in the process?

Right.

Seriously folks...take a moment out and look at the big picture. I'm single. I've been single for years...and it's not by choice. I HATE being single. But the fact of the matter is that women in general today just aren't interested in the type of guy I am. Fat, thin, muscular...doesn't seem to matter or modify those feelings. Additionally, the women I have been with, have all done some pretty horrible things both during and/or in the process of ending the relationship (cheating, cheating multiple times, abandoning their children in both the short and long term, the list goes on). Now, I could take this to mean that something is wrong with me, or that I'm not good enough...and trust me, years and years of this reinforcement would be enough to do it, if anything would.

But I don't. I'm me, I choose to be strong, as happy as I can, and provide a strong, stable, responsible role model for my three children I have custody of. To use society, the media, or anything else as a crutch for your behavior, feelings of self loathing, or lack of responsibility is sad to say the least.

Now, please understand that I know this seems worded harshly, and I don't mean it that way...but there's not really another way to say it. I understand how hard it can be looking in that mirror and not being happy with what you see (I've done it...and it's tough not to hate yourself for it), or to look at seemingly happy couples and wonder why that can't be you.

But blaming others for it is selfish at best...and taking it out on them is the worst sort of hypocrisy.

crisanderson27

I totally agree but you have to see it from a chubby girl's point of view. We need quotes and positive affirmation like this because we deal with people be mean to us for no reason all the time. And truth of the matter is most guys dont want (or dont admit to wanting) the chubbier girl because they dont wanna be out in public with them because they will be made fun of (i know this cause ive been the peson getting made fun of) So yea body shaming is dumb on both account (girls hating on the fatties and fatties hating on skinny women) but it's just to make us feel better and wanted. My philosophy is noone should be skinny of fat. Be comfortable and if someone else doesnt look like you who gives a ****? Dont hate on them for that

Nobody needs quotes or positive affirmations that bring other people down.

It is one thing to say "curves are beautiful" or "I'm proud of my shape"
It's a whole different thing to say "Curvy women are the REAL women" or "Men don't want sticks/skeletons/twigs"

etoiles_argentees

the women who make fun of thin women who have done nothing to them are perpetuating the same attitude that puts fat women into "undesirable" category. at the end of the day, if they had a choice, im sure they would prefer to be thin. anyone who says that theyd rather be overweight than skinny (or underweight) is deluding themselves.

I have to disagree with this; this is swinging it the other way. There is no such thing as an undesirable category; perhaps your pool of suitors diminishes at different sizes, but your self worth and value to others is not measured by the waist band on your trousers.

Some (a lot actually) people actually would prefer to be overweight than underweight. If this is something you would deny, you have no place commenting on body shaming either, as you are perpetuating the hate as much as a larger woman insulting a thinner woman.

I agree.

etoiles_argentees

I totally agree but you have to see it from a chubby girl's point of view. We need quotes and positive affirmation like this because we deal with people be mean to us for no reason all the time. And truth of the matter is most guys dont want (or dont admit to wanting) the chubbier girl because they dont wanna be out in public with them because they will be made fun of (i know this cause ive been the peson getting made fun of) So yea body shaming is dumb on both account (girls hating on the fatties and fatties hating on skinny women) but it's just to make us feel better and wanted. My philosophy is noone should be skinny of fat. Be comfortable and if someone else doesnt look like you who gives a ****? Dont hate on them for that

I agree. Honestly I think most men promote the stereotypes and shaming between women. Take for example the man who's signifigant other is alittle insecure with herself... Is he reassuring her that he likes her looks, or is he turning his head to check out the girl that just walked by? Commenting during a movie about how attractive that actress is? Afraid to go out in public with her because she isn't society standard "hot"

So lets see, your self esteem needs a boost, so put down an entire group of women, and lie to yourself in the process?

Right.

Seriously folks...take a moment out and look at the big picture. I'm single. I've been single for years...and it's not by choice. I HATE being single. But the fact of the matter is that women in general today just aren't interested in the type of guy I am. Fat, thin, muscular...doesn't seem to matter or modify those feelings. Additionally, the women I have been with, have all done some pretty horrible things both during and/or in the process of ending the relationship (cheating, cheating multiple times, abandoning their children in both the short and long term, the list goes on). Now, I could take this to mean that something is wrong with me, or that I'm not good enough...and trust me, years and years of this reinforcement would be enough to do it, if anything would.

But I don't. I'm me, I choose to be strong, as happy as I can, and provide a strong, stable, responsible role model for my three children I have custody of. To use society, the media, or anything else as a crutch for your behavior, feelings of self loathing, or lack of responsibility is sad to say the least.

Now, please understand that I know this seems worded harshly, and I don't mean it that way...but there's not really another way to say it. I understand how hard it can be looking in that mirror and not being happy with what you see (I've done it...and it's tough not to hate yourself for it), or to look at seemingly happy couples and wonder why that can't be you.

But blaming others for it is selfish at best...and taking it out on them is the worst sort of hypocrisy.

Hearts for you!