Women and Body Shaming
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Lol!
I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.
Very true! A lot of the guys I knew in college were nerdy, out-of-shape guys who thought they deserved hot chicks. Their standards were ridiculous considering they gave zero effort when it came to bettering themselves. They were the ones who barely gave us, their female "friends", the time of day if there was a game to play. Then I met my husband, who is healthy and likes to do things like hike and go running. He's the most awesome husband in the world (of course, I'm biased!)!
Edit: Oh, and those guys I knew in college are still mostly single and still gamers with dumb "standards"!
This made me laugh because the whole post that youre in agreement with is about how it's not okay to shame women, but then you go on to shame men.
Personally I hate 80% of people, so shame on all of them for multiple reasons, not just physical.
Wait, isn't this you basically shaming us for shaming men who shame women? Shame on you, who shames 80% of people! What a shame.
VKaylor, I'm totally confused about why you think this is shaming men. We were saying they are mostly decent and discussing good qualities.....so confused...ah well, shamageddon will do that to a person I guess. Carry on towards the shameapocalypse.
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I think everyone is beautiful I really admire strong looking women no matter what shape their body is0
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I have to admit that I wouldn't want to hear my man say this because I don't want to get a mental picture? So I would never say something like that to him, but I wouldn't say that type of thing in general.... however I did hear him say that to a friend of his while I was there !0 -
I have to admit that I wouldn't want to hear my man say this because I don't want to get a mental picture? I would rather him say it to anyone but me.
LMAO! This isn't me, but I know people like this. I hate double standards. If I say some guy is hot and I'd do him, then whoever I'm dating has the right to say that about a girl.0 -
And by "all" you mean youVKaylor, I'm totally confused about why you think this is shaming men. We were saying they are mostly decent and discussing good qualities.....so confused...ah well, shamageddon will do that to a person I guess. Carry on towards the shameapocalypse.
I think we've all agreed on calling it shameception. Thank you very much! curses I already feel so damn ashamed for shaming you... 0 -
what is beautiful to one person may not be so to another. it makes no difference to me. if you are happy with the way you look... then you should accept it ...and if you are not, keep working towards perfection. you will however be working forever.... because there is no one perfect. ask anyone person out there. they may say they are happy with themselves but if we were all perfect... there would be no MFP!!!!!!0
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Women: B!tches be crazy.0
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It's funny because just this morning I was thinking about how positive most of the guys on here have been towards women. Women who think all men are dogs should really spend some time on here to see how that isn't always so. You guys give men a good name. So thanks!
This is very true. Even more among the men I am friends with on here. There are really high quality people around here and its best just to focus on that.
And OP though you're not on my friends list I've always noticed you being cool. This is one more cool thing and I dearly appreciate it. Thank you. It's a needed message. Just hope it sinks in.0 -
i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is0 -
i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is
^ Thank you. No one can MAKE you FEEL anything (except physical pain of course..lol). It is up to you what you take away from what others say and do.0 -
Yup.Thank you.
I would like to add to the STFU list comments like..."ewwww" and "gross".
Absolutely this.
I have seen some of the WOMEN on here be brutal in body shaming others.
There's a few that come to mind almost instantly.0 -
Maybe so, but being a decent human and not trying to belittle others for how they look should be standard practice.i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is
^ Thank you. No one can MAKE you FEEL anything (except physical pain of course..lol). It is up to you what you take away from what others say and do.0 -
^ Thank you. No one can MAKE you FEEL anything (except physical pain of course..lol). It is up to you what you take away from what others say and do.
Maybe so, but being a decent human and not trying to belittle others for how they look, should be standard practice.
Why do people feel better about themselves by belittling others? That makes me sad.0 -
What irritates the hell out of me is when women bash their own body around other women. The way you see yourself is often different from what others see so sure....they might not realize that the woman next to them looks similar or bigger....or even smaller and having a hard time gaining. It's ridiculous. I would never sit there and criticize my weight or looks around another woman because who knows what they think of themselves already.
We all have our own views of what we should look like or how we want to look. I understand some women/men don't want to "have too much muscle" but don't sit there and talk about how bad it looks or try to talk me out of going for my ideal body. =/
Wish there wasn't so much emphasis on the 'look' but rather just fitness and health.0 -
If you have to ridicule or get nasty to someone else in order to feel better about yourself.. then you are just like everyone else who does the same to you.
You really do get out of life what you put in. All those trying to justify why someone would body shame another are just proving the point that their negative actions invite negative actions from others.0 -
I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.
Very true! A lot of the guys I knew in college were nerdy, out-of-shape guys who thought they deserved hot chicks. Their standards were ridiculous considering they gave zero effort when it came to bettering themselves. They were the ones who barely gave us, their female "friends", the time of day if there was a game to play. Then I met my husband, who is healthy and likes to do things like hike and go running. He's the most awesome husband in the world (of course, I'm biased!)!
Edit: Oh, and those guys I knew in college are still mostly single and still gamers with dumb "standards"!
This made me laugh because the whole post that youre in agreement with is about how it's not okay to shame women, but then you go on to shame men.
Personally I hate 80% of people, so shame on all of them for multiple reasons, not just physical.
Wait, isn't this you basically shaming us for shaming men who shame women? Shame on you, who shames 80% of people! What a shame.
Difference is I admit I do it, and I don't give a *kitten* what anyone thinks of me... not offline, and certainly not online...lol0 -
I have to admit that I wouldn't want to hear my man say this because I don't want to get a mental picture? I would rather him say it to anyone but me.
LMAO! This isn't me, but I know people like this. I hate double standards. If I say some guy is hot and I'd do him, then whoever I'm dating has the right to say that about a girl.
I modified my response, after I realized the text was to her boyfriend...at first I thought it was to one of her friends.... I don't know why a girlfriend would tell their boyfriend that they want to make babies with another guy especially in a text message...I don't know what kind of response they were looking for from their boyfriend with saying something like that... but if it was to another girl then I would assume that they wanted someone else to agree. For the record those words wouldn't come out of my mouth...sounds like something younger girls MIGHT ** say?
**had to correct, before I pissed someone off... if this still pisses someone off...oh well, not my problem anymore.0 -
I have to admit that I wouldn't want to hear my man say this because I don't want to get a mental picture? I would rather him say it to anyone but me.
LMAO! This isn't me, but I know people like this. I hate double standards. If I say some guy is hot and I'd do him, then whoever I'm dating has the right to say that about a girl.
I modified my response, after I realized the text was to her boyfriend...at first I thought it was to one of her friends.... I don't know why a girlfriend would tell their boyfriend that they want to make babies with another guy especially in a text message...I don't know what kind of response they were looking for from their boyfriend with saying something like that... but if it was to another girl then I would assume that they wanted someone else to agree. For the record those words wouldn't come out of my mouth...sounds like something younger girls would say.
Older woman do this too..I've seen it....not pretty.0 -
I will never understand why you do it to eachother. It is an awful behaviour perpetuated largely by the media and happily engaged in by a huge number of people. If you have ever said any variation of:
- “Men like meat. Bones are for dogs.”
- “Real women have curves.”
- “That girl looks manly.”
Or anything of the sort, please GTFO and never come back. What makes a woman a woman is her own determination of her gender and nothing more.
I agree with you, but you're being unfair in putting it all on the woman. We live in a culture in which many forces are directed towards making women feel the way they do -- and don't get me wrong -- some women help way too much. But many of these problems are pervasive and some are structural. If some women get rewards from acting a certain way they're going to do it, even if the gains are short-term and don't help women as a group.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.0 -
I have to admit that I wouldn't want to hear my man say this because I don't want to get a mental picture? I would rather him say it to anyone but me.
LMAO! This isn't me, but I know people like this. I hate double standards. If I say some guy is hot and I'd do him, then whoever I'm dating has the right to say that about a girl.
I modified my response, after I realized the text was to her boyfriend...at first I thought it was to one of her friends.... I don't know why a girlfriend would tell their boyfriend that they want to make babies with another guy especially in a text message...I don't know what kind of response they were looking for from their boyfriend with saying something like that... but if it was to another girl then I would assume that they wanted someone else to agree. For the record those words wouldn't come out of my mouth...sounds like something younger girls would say.
Older woman do this too..I've seen it....not pretty.
I would never think it was impossible, just more common with the younger generation...I won't bother to explain why.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Don't worry, we won't need our bodies much longer.
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I'm by no means blaming it entirely on women; men can be just as bad, if not worse. But specifically here on MFP, most of the abuse is dished out between the women.I will never understand why you do it to eachother. It is an awful behaviour perpetuated largely by the media and happily engaged in by a huge number of people. If you have ever said any variation of:
- “Men like meat. Bones are for dogs.”
- “Real women have curves.”
- “That girl looks manly.”
Or anything of the sort, please GTFO and never come back. What makes a woman a woman is her own determination of her gender and nothing more.
I agree with you, but you're being unfair in putting it all on the woman. We live in a culture in which many forces are directed towards making women feel the way they do -- and don't get me wrong -- some women help way too much. But many of these problems are pervasive and some are structural. If some women get rewards from acting a certain way they're going to do it, even if the gains are short-term and don't help women as a group.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.0 -
Difference is I admit I do it, and I don't give a *kitten* what anyone thinks of me... not offline, and certainly not online...lol
Hey now. I never said I didn't shame people.
I especially love shaming people who are too lazy to walk over to the cart return a few feet away and instead leave it right next to my car. I do it pretty loudly, too.0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.
And when the target audience is men? What do you get on magazine covers? Often, conventionally attractive (that is, ridiculously thin) women.0 -
i understand where the OP is coming form.
on the other, no one can make you feel shame unless you're feeling it yourself. generally speaking people with healthy self esteem could hear another person saying something negative without any f*cks being given.
unfortunately too many women's self esteem is based on what other people think of them. in that sense, i think threads like "women need to stop body shaming each other" completely misses the mark on what the true problem is
And shockingly enough not everyone on a diet site has awesome teflon self-esteem. This place ought to be one that gently guides folks towards that.
Your point is right it just doesn't touch the validity of the OPs0 -
You're body is going to be with you the rest of your life, so you better like it, or it's going to be a long miserable road.
Absolutely, but you don't have a whole culture working 24/7 telling you what you should look like. It's not all verbal. Females are exposed to millions of images of desirable beauty by the time they are adults.
Men don't experience but a tiny fraction of this, but even they have some body image insecurities.
Men experience more than a tiny fraction, they are bombarded just like women and they have a whole lot of stereotypes and standards which they are exposed to from birth to adulthood.
Shaming isn't restricted to just the one gender, one gender just tends to be more outspoken about it.
Pshaw! Go stand in the checkout line at your grocery store of choice and have a look at the magazine covers, ... then come back and try to argue that men deal with the same amount of media/cultural body shaming as women.
Even in these progressive times the target audience for advertising at the checkout is women.
And when the target audience is men? What do you get on magazine covers? Often, conventionally attractive (that is, ridiculously thin) women.
what kind of male gets that kind of women? what kind of male bodies do you see on advertising? what stereotypes do tv shows, movies and books give out? what traditional stereotypes about men does society still hold standard? My point was that men experience more than a tiny fraction. It's just not made as public.0
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