Women and Body Shaming

crisanderson27

It't done for exactly the reasons Pu stated. Those women are not happy with their bodies. When you are OK in your own skin then you develop a 'more power to them' attitude.
The brutal truth is - women that say those things will never look like the source of their ridicule. Not without hard work and dedication. Whether its gaining weight, losing weight, becoming more fit. And I think they know that. It is a way to justify themselves and de-value something they are not. That way there is no need to put in that hard work.

You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me


You are so wonderful
To me
You are so wonderful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so wonderful
To me


You are so beautiful
To me
You are so beautiful
To me
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
To me

Why is it I hear you singing this in your best 'Biz Markie' voice??

http://youtu.be/uZrxP-wvutI

chocl8girl

Shame on you women and your bodies. Your sexy, beautiful bodies! Everytime I see a woman its hard coming up with a word besides "yummy"

heh heh heh...you said "it's hard"


:P

gingerveg

It's funny because just this morning I was thinking about how positive most of the guys on here have been towards women. Women who think all men are dogs should really spend some time on here to see how that isn't always so. You guys give men a good name. So thanks!

I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.

For the record, I am surrounded by some extraordinary men. They are not all in the best shape but laziness does not only refer to physical laziness. They are hard working, intelligent, well spoken, thoughtful, feminists who are a pleasure to hang out with. So in my world only decent guys exist because I don't associate with jerks anymore.

So yeah let's hear it for the men on this site. All in all they're a pretty cool lot.

Priincess_Natalie

SoDamnHungry

I agree. Honestly I think most men promote the stereotypes and shaming between women. Take for example the man who's signifigant other is alittle insecure with herself... Is he reassuring her that he likes her looks, or is he turning his head to check out the girl that just walked by? Commenting during a movie about how attractive that actress is? Afraid to go out in public with her because she isn't society standard "hot"

I don't think most men do things like this. And men that do are ones that should be dumped. Why would anyone stay with a man who won't go out in public with her?

And why isn't he allowed to comment on an actress's attractiveness? If he's not allowed to say anything nice about another girl, his girlfriend is the one with a problem.

amandasierweyant

I agree with eringbragh, the men have been very supportive on here...i think it's cause they've walked our walk so to speak... thanks guys!!:) you definitely give the other guys some pretty high standards

elebel82

I always think that body shaming offline is something that mostly happens between thinner women. I'm clearly fat and therefore not worth shaming. I can only think of one instance where it happened to me and it was snickers when we had to get on the scales in my first week of highschool.

In contrast I can think of many body shaming incidents by makes. From my dad calling me fat names when I was 4 "so that I would get used to it for school" before I even knew I was fat (these days I'd have been one of the skinny ones), the boys singing "earth moves under my feet" as I jumped rope in primary school, my most recent boyfriend tellin me 2 weeks in the he'd like how I looked better if I were 20kg lighter, the older guy at work telling me to fix my diet and lose some weight cos i have great boobs but my body lets me down,the calls from guys as they drive past "keep walking fatty!", or the "my friend thinks you're hot - snicker -" or one of my gay "friends" tellin me that I shouldn't have sex cos it's "disgusting" (not cos I'm a girl but because of how I look)

Not saying that it's all men, or that it's them more often, just that it does happen, mostly in a group mentality, whereas I personally never get it from women. That's all.

ErinGBragh

I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.

Very true! A lot of the guys I knew in college were nerdy, out-of-shape guys who thought they deserved hot chicks. Their standards were ridiculous considering they gave zero effort when it came to bettering themselves. They were the ones who barely gave us, their female "friends", the time of day if there was a game to play. Then I met my husband, who is healthy and likes to do things like hike and go running. He's the most awesome husband in the world (of course, I'm biased!)!

Edit: Oh, and those guys I knew in college are still mostly single and still gamers with dumb "standards"!

bridgelene

I totally agree but you have to see it from a chubby girl's point of view. We need quotes and positive affirmation like this because we deal with people be mean to us for no reason all the time. And truth of the matter is most guys dont want (or dont admit to wanting) the chubbier girl because they dont wanna be out in public with them because they will be made fun of (i know this cause ive been the peson getting made fun of) So yea body shaming is dumb on both account (girls hating on the fatties and fatties hating on skinny women) but it's just to make us feel better and wanted. My philosophy is noone should be skinny of fat. Be comfortable and if someone else doesnt look like you who gives a ****? Dont hate on them for that

Having started at 290+ and now in the mid 270's I disagree that you are trying to justify it. You say yourself, how it makes you feel so why do that to someone else? It makes you NO BETTER than them to do the exact same thing. Hold yourself to the standards you wish others would hold themselves to, especially if you're hoping and expecting it of them.

I think *healthy* is ideal. That can be a wide range. But no matter what, a woman (actually, ANYONE) should be comfortable with herself beyond valuing only the shape and appearance of her/their body. That is only a PART of who (s)he is.

And trust me.....from me being 290+ all the way to my partner of 9+ years being anorexic and in the low 80lbs, neither is a walk in the park (physically easy). She had trouble finding clothes that properly fit as well....especially clothes that looked like adult clothes. (She is thankfully in recovery now....going through a difficult time lately, especially as she recently lost her mother to pancreatic cancer, but she has a strong outpatient treatment team that is helping her, in addition to friends and me)

THANK YOU, OP for a great post! I hope people will take it to heart! :drinker:

gingerveg

I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.

Very true! A lot of the guys I knew in college were nerdy, out-of-shape guys who thought they deserved hot chicks. Their standards were ridiculous considering they gave zero effort when it came to bettering themselves. They were the ones who barely gave us, their female "friends", the time of day if there was a game to play. Then I met my husband, who is healthy and likes to do things like hike and go running. He's the most awesome husband in the world (of course, I'm biased!)!

Edit: Oh, and those guys I knew in college are still mostly single and still gamers with dumb "standards"!

Yup it seems the most judgmental haven't been there and they don't know what it takes and lack the motivation. So many people are unhappy in their relationships so I am so glad to hear you have a good one too

AllTehBeers

Yup, totally mens fault that girls feel insecure about themselves and hence need to put down other girls lol

As for the other part...

*edit for space*

LOLOL

amber1533

I agree. Honestly I think most men promote the stereotypes and shaming between women. Take for example the man who's signifigant other is alittle insecure with herself... Is he reassuring her that he likes her looks, or is he turning his head to check out the girl that just walked by? Commenting during a movie about how attractive that actress is? Afraid to go out in public with her because she isn't society standard "hot"

I don't think most men do things like this. And men that do are ones that should be dumped. Why would anyone stay with a man who won't go out in public with her?

And why isn't he allowed to comment on an actress's attractiveness? If he's not allowed to say anything nice about another girl, his girlfriend is the one with a problem.

This!
My husband and I talk all the time about actor's/actresses that are pretty/hot/gorgeous whatever! It's not like he is going to go sleep with them! And if he checks out a chick walking by in a skimpy skirt and revealing top who is not going to look? TBH I usually notice before he does. The fact is, if your guy is with you then he is with you for a reason, pretending that someone is not attractive would just make it worse for me.

As for shape shaming women I will never understand it. Ones shape does not make you anymore/any less a woman. So why put down someone else to make you feel better. I have actually stopped being friends with people who post those seriously ridiculous pictures of Marilyn Monroe that say men prefer her over someone smaller. Some men might. but not everyone! We all have our preferences and pretending that we don't or putting down others preference just makes it worse!

Zangpakto

Men like meat and dogs for bones?

Does that mean I'm a dog? Like wtf....

I just don't like em too big as I am small myself, that is one saying that annoys the crap outta me...

Its the fat acceptance movement thingy that made those weird stupid idiotic sayings... Wanna stay in fat camp, then sure, keep telling yourself all men prefer chubby girls and that instead of being skinny, you need to be fat to be loved... That saying seriously is messed up man...

BinaryPulsar

Thanks for this thread!

sissiluv

Men like meat and dogs for bones?

Does that mean I'm a dog? Like wtf....

I just don't like em too big as I am small myself, that is one saying that annoys the crap outta me...

Its the fat acceptance movement thingy that made those weird stupid idiotic sayings... Wanna stay in fat camp, then sure, keep telling yourself all men prefer chubby girls and that instead of being skinny, you need to be fat to be loved... That saying seriously is messed up man...

I don't think it's so much as 'fat acceptance' as it is 'mental health acceptance'. Body shaming geared to people of any gender, sex and size can lead to a host of long term mental health problems including depression and eating disorders. That our society propagates the notion of 'ideal beauty' as an unrealistic mold that not everyone can fit into, which then is photoshopped so it's even MORE impossible for people to fit into, also feeds into the host of issues that body-shaming in turn carries into.

It probably likewise has something to do about busting myths regarding body size. As far as health goes, thinner doesn't necessarily mean healthier, just as having some extra chub likewise doesn't automatically make that person unhealthy. People are complicated and the 'fat acceptance' is more about realizing this and accepting that not everyone can fit into a generalized mold of health and body proportions.

That's not to say that you absolutely HAVE to be attracted to people whom you normally wouldn't be, such as a larger woman, and that you're a horrible aweful person if you're not. Typically that's not something you can help. What can be helped is a person's tolerance levels and understanding that these are still people who have emotions which could very well be hurt if someone body-shames them, regardless of their size.

As for the 'real men' thing, that's just people being silly. Much like not everyone can fit into a standardized mold set forth by the beauty industry, not everyone can, or should, fit into standardized gender roles. That doesn't make anyone less, or more, of anything and I agree, it's frustrating when people say that.

But on a less serious note, you do have the head of a dog so it would't be such a stretch of logic to say that you're a dog, bipedal or not. c;

DamnImASexyBitch

I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.

Very true! A lot of the guys I knew in college were nerdy, out-of-shape guys who thought they deserved hot chicks. Their standards were ridiculous considering they gave zero effort when it came to bettering themselves. They were the ones who barely gave us, their female "friends", the time of day if there was a game to play. Then I met my husband, who is healthy and likes to do things like hike and go running. He's the most awesome husband in the world (of course, I'm biased!)!

Edit: Oh, and those guys I knew in college are still mostly single and still gamers with dumb "standards"!

This made me laugh because the whole post that youre in agreement with is about how it's not okay to shame women, but then you go on to shame men.
Personally I hate 80% of people, so shame on all of them for multiple reasons, not just physical.

Sharkington

Lol.

@OP: I completely agree with you. :flowerforyou:

EvgeniZyntx

I agree. Honestly I think most men promote the stereotypes and shaming between women. Take for example the man who's signifigant other is alittle insecure with herself... Is he reassuring her that he likes her looks, or is he turning his head to check out the girl that just walked by? Commenting during a movie about how attractive that actress is? Afraid to go out in public with her because she isn't society standard "hot"

I don't think most men do things like this. And men that do are ones that should be dumped. Why would anyone stay with a man who won't go out in public with her?

And why isn't he allowed to comment on an actress's attractiveness? If he's not allowed to say anything nice about another girl, his girlfriend is the one with a problem.

I do not know any man that would be ashamed to go out in public with another woman. Maybe the exist but not in my circle of friends or acquaintances. Hell, I'd laugh at some insecure douchecanoe that had a girlfriend he doesn't want to be seen with.
Maybe we live on different planets.
And not to jump on the nice guy bandwagon but I do truly agree that the body shaming that goes on here is puerile, disgusting and totally unsupportive. Why the needs to make these comments - if anything, body shaming makes you UGLY. Don't do it, please.

And yes, I turn my head when I see people in the street - it can be attraction or a gesture or the artistry of a line of clothing, it can be a sexy *kitten*, or it can be something totally random, it can easily be a man or a woman. But a glance, capturing a passing instance is a nothing - I can also laugh, flirt and have conversations with friends and acquaintances. Insecurities? You own your own. Deal with them.

ErinGBragh

I think it is because they workout and they really know what kind of effort it takes to get strong. I remember when I first met my DH (he's gorgeous and has a perfect body) he was also similar. It was an epiphany for me because I realize I had been dating the laziest judgemental jerbags on the planet most notably my unhealthy boyfriend prior to my DH a.k.a. caliper fingers (always checking to see how much fat I had -yeah it gave me a wee complex). So anyway date/hang out with motivated guys and don't be intimidated by their good looks or mad muscles. These guys seem to have more appreciation for our hard work and also more compassion. Way better than the lazy guys sunning their pot-bellies at the beach while holding numbers up as fit women walk by.

Very true! A lot of the guys I knew in college were nerdy, out-of-shape guys who thought they deserved hot chicks. Their standards were ridiculous considering they gave zero effort when it came to bettering themselves. They were the ones who barely gave us, their female "friends", the time of day if there was a game to play. Then I met my husband, who is healthy and likes to do things like hike and go running. He's the most awesome husband in the world (of course, I'm biased!)!

Edit: Oh, and those guys I knew in college are still mostly single and still gamers with dumb "standards"!

This made me laugh because the whole post that youre in agreement with is about how it's not okay to shame women, but then you go on to shame men.
Personally I hate 80% of people, so shame on all of them for multiple reasons, not just physical.

Wait, isn't this you basically shaming us for shaming men who shame women? Shame on you, who shames 80% of people! What a shame.

ErinGBragh

It's shameageddon.


Yeah, but are you gettin' it? - Shameageddon it!
Ooh, really gettin' it? - Yes, Shameaggedon it!