Women and Body Shaming

ironanimal

Why do you care anyway?

Assuming this is aimed at me - because. Because human decency should be the norm and not the exception. Because I know far too many people that suffer a lot of insecurity issues because of this behaviour. Because I see it happen here all the *kitten* time, and this is a place where people should be able to feel comfortable in their own skin.

Harriann84

Firstly, I was always taught, if you can't say nothing nice, don't say nothing at all (From a famous Disney film).
Secondly, regardless of shape or size, people are people and they are all gorgeous. Women are all beautiful, beauty is merely a perception. What you perceive as beauty is not and will not be what another perceives of beauty.

Thirdly, I couldn't give two hoots. I am fat. I am working on it. It's NONE of my damn business what other's think of me. If they want to think I am fat cow/ sl*t for having my tits looking awesome in a corset pic/ heffa/whale or hippo etc, IT DOESN'T MATTER. Your opinion of me is none of my business. I don't need to know. I don't really care.

Hubby has asked me not to get "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig", if I feel I need to lose more weight and he sees me as a twig, then he can walk. I will stop when I am happy, not when he is happy with my body.

It drives me insane when I see or hear people body shaming in general. It shouldn't matter as long as the person is happy. If they aren't then they should be working towards changing it.

Nataliaho

At the end of the day, so much of this would be solved if people just tried to be nice to one another. It might sound trite but it is the truth. How about a little kindness and empathy. Would you like someone to say it about your mother? Then don't f@$cling say it... easy really.

I get a little annoyed when these discussions always turn to it being a woman's responsibility to have a thick skin. I'm a pretty confident and outgoing woman, my self-esteem is pretty high, that doesn't mean a guy isn't a rude loser when he decides to randomly comment on the undesirability of my appearance. Surely it's easier for someone to just keep that *kitten* to themselves than for me to smile on through?

Emphasis on the bold parts. If you dislike another person's body for whatever reason - whether it not be your taste, or it makes you a little self-conscious (which btw would be less of an issue if nobody picked eachother apart) - do you really need to tell them they're gross, lazy, have no curves etc? Can't you just say "not for me"?

Yep, not sure why that's so hard. I am a crass loudmouth smarta$$ and I manage to get by without ridiculing someone's appearance, race or sexuality.

crisanderson27

Hubby has asked me not to get "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig", if I feel I need to lose more weight and he sees me as a twig, then he can walk. I will stop when I am happy, not when he is happy with my body.

If my wife told me this, I'd tell her that if my opinion mattered so little in something so important, I might as well save her the time and trouble and walk now. Clearly it wouldn't make a bit of difference to her anyhow.

Would I expect her to shape her body to my specific preferences? No, not at all. Would I hope that my feelings on the subject had a reasonable amount of weight with her overall? You bet I would.

On the other side of that coin...if my preference for my own body was more muscular (in bulk), or more lean (in bodyfat) than hers...I wouldn't think twice about changing my goals (within reason...I refuse to be outright unhealthy) for her comfort. I live in my body, sure...but as long as I'm strong enough to meet my needs, and healthy enough to ensure quality of life, I'm fine. SHE'S the one that has to live WITH my body. And yeah...she's far more important to me than that.

Nataliaho

Hubby has asked me not to get "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig", if I feel I need to lose more weight and he sees me as a twig, then he can walk. I will stop when I am happy, not when he is happy with my body.

If my wife told me this, I'd tell her that if my opinion mattered so little in something so important, I might as well save her the time and trouble and walk now. Clearly it wouldn't make a bit of difference to her anyhow.

Would I expect her to shape her body to my specific preferences? No, not at all. Would I hope that my feelings on the subject had a reasonable amount of weight with her overall? You bet I would.

On the other side of that coin...if my preference for my own body was more muscular (in bulk), or more lean (in bodyfat) than hers...I wouldn't think twice about changing my goals (within reason...I refuse to be outright unhealthy) for her comfort. I live in my body, sure...but as long as I'm strong enough to meet my needs, and healthy enough to ensure quality of life, I'm fine. SHE'S the one that has to live WITH my body. And yeah...she's far more important to me than that.

I agree, but I think it would really depend on their reasons for having the preference. Would I give consideration to my husbands wishes? Yeah of course. Would I comply if his reasons were selfish and damaging? Nope, and it might indicate a deeper issue if he didn't want the best for me... To be honest, that particular wording: "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig" probably wouldn't engender much respect for his POV.

crisanderson27

Hubby has asked me not to get "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig", if I feel I need to lose more weight and he sees me as a twig, then he can walk. I will stop when I am happy, not when he is happy with my body.

If my wife told me this, I'd tell her that if my opinion mattered so little in something so important, I might as well save her the time and trouble and walk now. Clearly it wouldn't make a bit of difference to her anyhow.

Would I expect her to shape her body to my specific preferences? No, not at all. Would I hope that my feelings on the subject had a reasonable amount of weight with her overall? You bet I would.

On the other side of that coin...if my preference for my own body was more muscular (in bulk), or more lean (in bodyfat) than hers...I wouldn't think twice about changing my goals (within reason...I refuse to be outright unhealthy) for her comfort. I live in my body, sure...but as long as I'm strong enough to meet my needs, and healthy enough to ensure quality of life, I'm fine. SHE'S the one that has to live WITH my body. And yeah...she's far more important to me than that.

I agree, but I think it would really depend on their reasons for having the preference. Would I give consideration to my husbands wishes? Yeah of course. Would I comply if his reasons were selfish and damaging? Nope, and it might indicate a deeper issue if he didn't want the best for me... To be honest, that particular wording: "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig" probably wouldn't engender much respect for his POV.

Agree across the board lol.

Harriann84

Hubby has asked me not to get "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig", if I feel I need to lose more weight and he sees me as a twig, then he can walk. I will stop when I am happy, not when he is happy with my body.

If my wife told me this, I'd tell her that if my opinion mattered so little in something so important, I might as well save her the time and trouble and walk now. Clearly it wouldn't make a bit of difference to her anyhow.

Would I expect her to shape her body to my specific preferences? No, not at all. Would I hope that my feelings on the subject had a reasonable amount of weight with her overall? You bet I would.

On the other side of that coin...if my preference for my own body was more muscular (in bulk), or more lean (in bodyfat) than hers...I wouldn't think twice about changing my goals (within reason...I refuse to be outright unhealthy) for her comfort. I live in my body, sure...but as long as I'm strong enough to meet my needs, and healthy enough to ensure quality of life, I'm fine. SHE'S the one that has to live WITH my body. And yeah...she's far more important to me than that.

I agree, but I think it would really depend on their reasons for having the preference. Would I give consideration to my husbands wishes? Yeah of course. Would I comply if his reasons were selfish and damaging? Nope, and it might indicate a deeper issue if he didn't want the best for me... To be honest, that particular wording: "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig" probably wouldn't engender much respect for his POV.

Agree across the board lol.

I have told him, I will stop when I am ready. He has only known me as a bigger woman. He doesn't know how I will look when I lose the weight. If he still has an issue with it, then it's his problem not mine. I am not losing weight to appease him. I am losing weight for me. To feel good about myself. If he can't deal with what comes with losing weight and getting fit (the added confidence and self esteem) then again, that is his problem. I know he isn't a shallow man, he is 44 (16 yrs my senior) and is ripped. He has a six pack and is much fitter than I am at present. Who knows, he might surprise himself with what he likes.
I just hope he's ready for change.

Nataliaho

Hubby has asked me not to get "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig", if I feel I need to lose more weight and he sees me as a twig, then he can walk. I will stop when I am happy, not when he is happy with my body.

If my wife told me this, I'd tell her that if my opinion mattered so little in something so important, I might as well save her the time and trouble and walk now. Clearly it wouldn't make a bit of difference to her anyhow.

Would I expect her to shape her body to my specific preferences? No, not at all. Would I hope that my feelings on the subject had a reasonable amount of weight with her overall? You bet I would.

On the other side of that coin...if my preference for my own body was more muscular (in bulk), or more lean (in bodyfat) than hers...I wouldn't think twice about changing my goals (within reason...I refuse to be outright unhealthy) for her comfort. I live in my body, sure...but as long as I'm strong enough to meet my needs, and healthy enough to ensure quality of life, I'm fine. SHE'S the one that has to live WITH my body. And yeah...she's far more important to me than that.

I agree, but I think it would really depend on their reasons for having the preference. Would I give consideration to my husbands wishes? Yeah of course. Would I comply if his reasons were selfish and damaging? Nope, and it might indicate a deeper issue if he didn't want the best for me... To be honest, that particular wording: "Too skinny because he doesn't want to hump a twig" probably wouldn't engender much respect for his POV.

Agree across the board lol.

I have told him, I will stop when I am ready. He has only known me as a bigger woman. He doesn't know how I will look when I lose the weight. If he still has an issue with it, then it's his problem not mine. I am not losing weight to appease him. I am losing weight for me. To feel good about myself. If he can't deal with what comes with losing weight and getting fit (the added confidence and self esteem) then again, that is his problem. I know he isn't a shallow man, he is 44 (16 yrs my senior) and is ripped. He has a six pack and is much fitter than I am at present. Who knows, he might surprise himself with what he likes.
I just hope he's ready for change.

That all seems totally fair to me. Until you are actually getting close to what he or you deems an ideal weight, the discussion is irrelevant and hypothetical. You may both end up happy at a similar point. He may see that the benefit of having common fitness goals and activities outweighs his aesthetic preferences. It may have also been a throwaway comment that he didn't really think about that much then or since