credit score is a deal breaker when dating? really??

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  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
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    I'm no longer in the dating scene, but absolutely it is a deal breaker. I could never foresee myself taking on someone else's poor choices and habits. I believe in love, but I am not willing to drown in debt because I'm blinded by my emotions.
  • sirabe
    sirabe Posts: 294 Member
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    What happened to falling in love with the person? If you are only looking for credit scores/money then you may be dating the "devil" as I will always believe that money is the root of all evil!

    To me, a good credit score does not mean the person has a lot of money, just that they're responsible with it.

    Agreed. if yo uare planning to build a life with this person, it may be difficult to do with a bad credit score. Buying a house, renting an apartment, sometimes getting a job will look at your credit score. and can reject you based on it.

    While it is not a deal breaker, it is something to think about.
  • falcon367
    falcon367 Posts: 116
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    OK, I get that finances are essentially important in a relationship, BUT ... exactly how does this credit score get brought up in a conversation and who runs the credit check on your would be mate? LOL ...

    Would it be disappointing? ... sure, but a deal breaker only if you saw a pattern of abuse. In this economy, I know of prominent business men who have lost everything and are living on the edge of existence. :(
  • AntWrig
    AntWrig Posts: 2,273 Member
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    OK, I get that finances are essentially important in a relationship, BUT ... exactly how does this credit score get brought up in a conversation and who runs the credit check on your would be mate? LOL ...

    Would it be disappointing? ... sure, but a deal breaker only if you saw a pattern of abuse. In this economy, I know of prominent business men who have lost everything and are living on the edge of existence. :(
    Well said.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    I think a first date is the last place any questions that imply a long-term relationship should be asked...I would run screaming for the hills...marriage, children, credit score - these things are way too serious for a first date...I don't even know you yet, don't delude yourself into thinking I have even begun to consider keeping you around...
  • JannerTone
    JannerTone Posts: 30 Member
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    My credit score is rubbish, I am 48 and have NEVER had a loan, overdraft, bought items on installments etc, etc, consequently when I looked into possibly buying a house with my partner we were refused because I had never let myself get into debt........lol.

    On the bright side though, I still don't owe anybody any money so things are good :o)
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    I couldn't agree more! I fell in love with a man whose credit score I didn't know. Right before our marriage, he "revealed" the trouble he was in. I called off the marriage, worked with him to get him on track. I later married him, and for 20 years suffered the consequences of his financial irresponsibility. We are now divorced, and he is still a mess with his finances. Unfortunately, it cost me dearly in the divorce.

    As cruel as this article may make it sound; there is truth to it. Of course, there are exceptions, like those who don't use credit cards or borrow at all. Or others who have suffered because of a financially irresponsible partner/ex and are working hard to make their way back up the credit score ladder. But it isn't something to be taken lightly.

    Well said. I don't think it is something which needs to be brought up on a first date, but if things are serious and headed towards marriage, then it really needs to be discussed, instead of blind siding an unknowing spouse.
  • snowboardn
    snowboardn Posts: 43
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    If someone has really bad credit and/or has other issues like didn't graduate from high school/college I would say that indicates someone who has bad habits and an inability to follow through. The exception being if they live in the US and have bad credit because of a medical problem. This has nothing to do with how much money they make. Some people who make very little money are very good with it and some people are horrendous no matter how much money they have. It points to poor decision making/planning skills which will undoubtedly seep into other parts of their lives. So unless it's medical yeah definitely a deal breaker.

    Definitely this...

    The credit score by itself doesn't say much except they had some issue with paying a bill in the past (their fault or otherwise) but a bad credit score on top of other things, maybe an SR-22, only getting a GED and not going to college... A string of bad choices on top of a bad credit score can definitely be a deal breaker, especially if they are say 35... Having a bad credit score and being in your low 20's isn't the end of the world but being in your upper 30's... It takes what, 7 to 11 years for bad things to get off your credit history?... So you are telling me you will be almost 50 before you can buy a house... yea deal breaker...
  • snowboardn
    snowboardn Posts: 43
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    My credit score is rubbish, I am 48 and have NEVER had a loan, overdraft, bought items on installments etc, etc, consequently when I looked into possibly buying a house with my partner we were refused because I had never let myself get into debt........lol.

    On the bright side though, I still don't owe anybody any money so things are good :o)

    That really is piss poor... not on your part.... but the fact that you are responsible with your money but you don't have any credit history pretty much disqualifies you.

    I will recommend what everyone will... get a credit line with visa or mastercard... put gas or groceries on it once or twice a month... Pay it off a month after and not the whole thing so that you have some kind of debt on it for at least a year. So at the end of February you pay off January's balance. By the end of the year you should definitely have a better credit score... and 3 years from now you should have one at least near 700 if not over.
  • vendygirl
    vendygirl Posts: 718 Member
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    Credit scores are just as insane as the stock market. The little things can make it drip or go up. The system REALLY needs to be changed. One last payment and your are hosed? Might be an exaggeration but still. You never borrowed money so you don't have a credit score which means it is bad.... Yeah that makes TOTAL sense. You are responsible with your money and didn't NEED to borrow money so you are punished? This is hogwosh.
    Yes it is an indicator of how well you handle money but not necessarily currently. A lot of kids do stupid things when younger. Also not everyone can help how much effing debt they managed to get while getting an education. It is ridiculous how much money it cost to attend school, even a local community college these days.

    It is something to consider when getting married, I see lots of people where one handles are the money because the other is crap with managing it. Well learning to manage money starts early. My parents taught us at a very young age that if wanted something we had to save up and get it when we could afford it. They gave us our first bike but if we wanted a different one they made US save up the money and buy it with our own money. That meant doing chores, paper routes, babysitting etc. I never felt I needed another bike but let me tell you I worked my butt off to buy my first CD player.

    This article was a bit extreme.
  • Spokez70
    Spokez70 Posts: 548 Member
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    What happened to going out on a date to have fun and enjoy someone's company? You have plenty of opportunity down the road to find out if someone is financially responsible and on the same page. If you're spending time together and getting to know one another, surely you will get an indication of how this person handles money and credit and whether or not it meshes with how you handle yours.

    My thoughts exactly- but maybe because my wife and I were both teenagers when we met so neither of us had any credit history good or bad.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    Sadly it is a valid question if you are looking for a long term relationship in the U.S. I can see both sides of the argument if you are incapable of change. If you can change and escape this financial slavery by leaving the country then you are free to love financially irresponsible people.

    Like many mentioned a sudden large medical expense can ruin any persons credit history no matter how responsible they are.

    Now if they just racked a ton of debt buying stuff on credit that they couldn't afford, then that is someone you might have to worry about in a partnership.

    So if someone puts a lot on emphasis on staying financially sound all the time, then getting in a relationship or investing time with someone they don't think they can develop a long term relationship because of finances might be a good idea for both parties to avoid the heart ache later.

    But it is pretty sad that the financial slavery has become such an effecting factor on love.
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
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    Bad credit is a deal breaker for me. It's not about how MUCH money you have - it's about being responsible. My husband is a financial planner, so it was definitely something he was looking for as well. I don't remember when we first discussed credit, etc., but it definitely came up in other ways when talking about values, fiscal responsibilities, and so on.

    I grew up in a household where bills didn't get paid. I won't live that way as an adult.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    My credit score is rubbish, I am 48 and have NEVER had a loan, overdraft, bought items on installments etc, etc, consequently when I looked into possibly buying a house with my partner we were refused because I had never let myself get into debt........lol.

    On the bright side though, I still don't owe anybody any money so things are good :o)

    That really is piss poor... not on your part.... but the fact that you are responsible with your money but you don't have any credit history pretty much disqualifies you.

    I will recommend what everyone will... get a credit line with visa or mastercard... put gas or groceries on it once or twice a month... Pay it off a month after and not the whole thing so that you have some kind of debt on it for at least a year. So at the end of February you pay off January's balance. By the end of the year you should definitely have a better credit score... and 3 years from now you should have one at least near 700 if not over.

    You can charge to it a credit card every month and pay it off every month - the average daily balance will still be above zero, giving you the credit score boost, while still avoiding paying any interest on most cards. If you don't already belong to a credit union consider joining one and getting the card through them, the rates are usually better and credit unions tend to be more individualized in how they treat credit so after a few years of banking history you have a good chance of getting a loan even with no other credit history.
  • reasnableblonde
    reasnableblonde Posts: 212 Member
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    Credit scores are just as insane as the stock market. The little things can make it drip or go up. The system REALLY needs to be changed. One last payment and your are hosed? Might be an exaggeration but still. You never borrowed money so you don't have a credit score which means it is bad.... Yeah that makes TOTAL sense. You are responsible with your money and didn't NEED to borrow money so you are punished? This is hogwosh.
    Yes it is an indicator of how well you handle money but not necessarily currently. A lot of kids do stupid things when younger. Also not everyone can help how much effing debt they managed to get while getting an education. It is ridiculous how much money it cost to attend school, even a local community college these days.

    It is something to consider when getting married, I see lots of people where one handles are the money because the other is crap with managing it. Well learning to manage money starts early. My parents taught us at a very young age that if wanted something we had to save up and get it when we could afford it. They gave us our first bike but if we wanted a different one they made US save up the money and buy it with our own money. That meant doing chores, paper routes, babysitting etc. I never felt I needed another bike but let me tell you I worked my butt off to buy my first CD player.

    This article was a bit extreme.

    Having student loans won't hurt your credit. Not paying them back does. My student loans are actually the first line of credit on my record because I started college at 17 and then went onto my credit the day I turned 18. They've helped me by showing a long history of debt being "paid as agreed."
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    What happened to falling in love with the person? If you are only looking for credit scores/money then you may be dating the "devil" as I will always believe that money is the root of all evil!

    Well, ...you do fall in love with the person..BUT...bad credit = not responsible..
    so yea I cant fall in love with a irresponsible person
  • mielikkibz
    mielikkibz Posts: 552 Member
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    "How somebody treats their money is just another manifestation of how they treat the people around them."-- Suze Orman

    Credit score shows a HUGE sign of responsibility. It's pretty important. :wink:

    Depends. .my irresponsibility was marrying a man who morphed into a first class a**hole at 39 after 16 yrs of marriage, who decided he'd rather do booze, drugs, and date a 19 yr old stripper, who was 'working her way thru college'(Didn't even have her GED), cost me my house, my car, and my credit score. . I am just now where I can buy a new car, but my credit is still horrid because of him. . .can't afford bancruptcy. . . . literally, dont' have an extra $2k laying around to pay for it(that went into the new car, which I had to have, my 15 yr old one wcost me more in mechanic bills the first 5 months of the year than this one has cost me in 6 months of car payments!)
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
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    What happened to falling in love with the person? If you are only looking for credit scores/money then you may be dating the "devil" as I will always believe that money is the root of all evil!

    Well, ...you do fall in love with the person..BUT...bad credit = not responsible..
    so yea I cant fall in love with a irresponsible person

    millions of very responsible people have had their credit score damaged by the economy. A bad credit score does not automatically mean they are "not responsible"
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    I wouldn't ask someone what their credit score was and if someone asked me what mine was, I would tell them to mind their own business.

    Frankly, I don't know what mine is and don't care. My mortgage is almost paid off; I rarely buy a new car on credit and I rarely use credit cards.

    Money is not a factor in my relationship. Common goals are. Love is.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    um, well....having been married to a man who had no idea how to handle money and ended up bankrupting me..I can see the point. However, that would now apply to me since I had to declare bankruptcy after having everything in my name and him bailing on a stay at home mom with a sick baby. So I don't really think a bad credit score tells the whole story. But I would be a lot more cautious with what I do with my money and signature in the future. No co-signs, no joint bank accounts..etc. Would I EVER ask someone their credit score...hell no.

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