credit score is a deal breaker when dating? really??
Replies
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This is retarded. I have more debt then I have income and my credit score is good.
Your credit score only tells how you REPAY debts. It doesn't tell how much overall debt you have.
A bad credit score can be caused by lots of things (even never having HAD a credit card!!! or debts!!!). I've had many friends who had never had a single debt in their life and yet had lousy credit scores BECAUSE they had no debt history!!!!
Really this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard of.
FYI: I'm talking credit score in Canada which may differ from American scores.0 -
I would be psyched to be asked my credit score. At my age, my best asset might be the size of my wallet :-) But I do find it hard to believe someone could ask that on a first date. I think being responsible with money is important, but it is one of a number of traits that one ought to figure out over the course of a relationship.0
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You're joking right?A credit score is a reflection of character.
If a lending institution doesn't trust a person with loaned money, how can I trust this individual in a serious relationship?
That's insane.
There are plenty of reasons why people have bad credit and they are not all due to making bad "choices". You all really need to get your head out of your *kitten*.
There are definitely some exceptions. And, those are explainable. But, dude, if you went through what I went through, you would understand how important it is to not assume someone else's financial irresponsibility. If you don't care, I respect that and understand it. But, I'm more fiscally conservative with my money and money problems bother me a lot. That's just how I am.0 -
I don't care what someones credit score is, if i like them i like them. they could be bankrupt or loaded i really don't care.
Only time their credit score would come in to play is if relationship got serious enough for marriage or living together and even then it would only be to assess approach to take, nothing to do with deal breaker.0 -
I can completely understand the logic behind this. I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had a crappy credit score (unless there was a justifiable reason as to why it was the way it was. For example my husband had a low credit score because he refused to pay the termination fee charged by Verizon when they renewed his contract without telling him) because it means that they're not the greatest when it comes to money, budgeting and the important things.
Also, if things progressed and you ended up married to this person who is in a huge amount of debt and has crappy credit you now assume and become responsible for your partners debt.0 -
Yes, I saw that in yesterday's New York Times.
For some people, credit score may be a deal breaker.
I think responsible fiscal practices are hot.
Fiscal discipline? :-)0 -
Well, I don't eventually want to be attached to bad credit...because once you marry it, you're in trouble too! It shows ownership and responsibility to me in addition that you are capable of taking care of yourself. Call me shady... but its pretty crucial.0
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I think it depends. Why is the score poor? Not everything is based purely on one individuals actions when it comes to their score.
Did they, for instance:
Lose a spouse that was the primary provider?
Lose a spouse that hid credit charges?
Lose a spouse in divorce?
Have their identity stolen?
Lose their house due to the Housing scams?
Lose their 6-Digit income?
These are just a few examples of what can greatly impact someone. Unless the relationship is completely open and honest on topics like this, then there should be very minimal "deal breakers"0 -
I can completely understand the logic behind this. I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had a crappy credit score (unless there was a justifiable reason as to why it was the way it was. For example my husband had a low credit score because he refused to pay the termination fee charged by Verizon when they renewed his contract without telling him) because it means that they're not the greatest when it comes to money, budgeting and the important things.
Also, if things progressed and you ended up married to this person who is in a huge amount of debt and has crappy credit you now assume and become responsible for your partners debt.
Yep and i'd be happy with that cos i would be married to the person I love. Unless they were doing nothing about it or intentionally making it worse then its just part of them and their past.0 -
I spent from the ages of 18-26 doing nothing but screwing up my credit score. I have spent the past year, trying to get better. It's going to take a long time for me make up 8 years of dumb decisions. If it keeps a woman from dating me, it's the least of my worries..0
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Bad credit score == a good chance the person is irresponsible. If you value someone on their responsibility level and maturity level, then this could indeed be a deal breaker, just as someone who is carrying 10 extra lbs around their midsection is a deal breaker with a lot of people.0
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I've been told this: "I won't marry you because of your credit score." So yeah, really. Awesome, huh?
I had a guy tell me he couldn't be with me because I'd ruin his credit score!0 -
For me, it depends on why the credit score is bad if it's a deal breaker or not. If it's bad due to student loans or an unexpected hospitalization and the person doesn't have insurance I can forgive it if they're working towards having a better score. If they've got a bad score from shopping too much or trying to live outside their means then that will probably be a deal breaker or at least a point against them.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be in fiscally secure place and having that be a trait you look for in a partner.0 -
Credit score ... tough one. I'm a future planner so is this important for my future? Yes. Would I want to have all responsibility as far as credit's concerned fall on my shoulders? No.
I believe a long lasting relationship needs to have a foundation. My credit's important to me - it should be important to him also.
With this being said, is it a deal breaker? No. If I love the person ultimately nothing will change that. Will I want and try to help that person get that credit in order? Absolutely!
Life's hard enough as it is WITH credit little lone limping through it without it ..
If the man I loved had no interest in credit or how bad it was there's a chance he wouldn't be the one for me. If he was attempting to correct possible youth errors - hey, everyone makes mistakes!
Can any of you tell I work with money for a living? Is it that obvious?! O.o0 -
I didn't know my husbands credit score until we were already married. It sucked. So did mine. We fixed it and now have a decent car. We will probably never own a house, not because of our credit, more because of our income. I'm ok with that. If a credit score was a deal breaker for me I wouldn't have my daughter or my husband. Most of my credit mistakes were made when I was younger, so were his. Now that we are adults we know better. We have credit cards, we don't put anything on them that we can't pay for when the bill comes. We have a car loan and pay on it consistently. We have a nice house that we rent and I'm ok with that. Especially when the furnace goes out in the middle of winter and I don't have to pay for it.0
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I've been told this: "I won't marry you because of your credit score." So yeah, really. Awesome, huh?
I wouldn't consider marrying someone with a bad credit score. Because they're bad credit then becomes your problem if you want to buy a home or car or take out a loan together. Everything would have to be separate to get a good interest rate or a larger loan, then if you divorce you're stuck with it because it was only in your name... nah... not gonna risk that kind of crap...0 -
I can completely understand the logic behind this. I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had a crappy credit score (unless there was a justifiable reason as to why it was the way it was. For example my husband had a low credit score because he refused to pay the termination fee charged by Verizon when they renewed his contract without telling him) because it means that they're not the greatest when it comes to money, budgeting and the important things.
Also, if things progressed and you ended up married to this person who is in a huge amount of debt and has crappy credit you now assume and become responsible for your partners debt.
Yep and i'd be happy with that cos i would be married to the person I love. Unless they were doing nothing about it or intentionally making it worse then its just part of them and their past.
Typically if they have the bad credit score it shows that they haven't been doing something about it and that, in turn, means they are intentially making it worse... so... I'm not with you on your counterpoint.0 -
Bad credit score == a good chance the person is irresponsible. If you value someone on their responsibility level and maturity level, then this could indeed be a deal breaker, just as someone who is carrying 10 extra lbs around their midsection is a deal breaker with a lot of people.
I have quite a bad credit score, as i made mistakes when i was younger. Am i irresponsible? Well i have a full time job and then in my spare time i am trusted to run my sports clubs bar, which involves handling all the money and stocks and living on site to ensure security. Rarely have time to myself and trusted with quite a lot of money relatively. so bit easy to claim i'm irresponsible cos of previous mistakes.0 -
I'm 26 and I was irresponsible when I was 18 and got my first credit card and got my second at 20. I was young and careless and ruined my credit.
However, I'm more mature now and have repaid most of my debt and have set up financial arrangements to pay the rest and have gotten back in school for nursing.
I would be upset if someone fell in love with me and then found out my bad credit score and changed their mind about me. It's one thing to be careless and not care about fixing your problem with money but I think it shows great maturity to own up to you mess and correct it. So I do and do not agree with the article. It just depends if the person is trying to fix it or if they don't care.0 -
I'm so glad I found my Prince Charming.0
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I'm 26 and I was irresponsible when I was 18 and got my first credit card and got my second at 20. I was young and careless and ruined my credit.
However, I'm more mature now and have repaid most of my debt and have set up financial arrangements to pay the rest and have gotten back in school for nursing.
I would be upset if someone fell in love with me and then found out my bad credit score and changed their mind about me. It's one thing to be careless and not care about fixing your problem with money but I think it shows great maturity to own up to you mess and correct it. So I do and do not agree with the article. It just depends if the person is trying to fix it or if they don't care.
I agree. I too was careless with a credit card when I was 18ish ... However, I have rebuilt my credit since and have great credit now. I own my own condo, have no problems with loans or any other major purchses I care to make.
Everyone can make mistakes. But it takes the bigger person to own up to them and fix those mistakes! That's what I would look for,
Cheers!0 -
I think a first date is the last place any questions that imply a long-term relationship should be asked...I would run screaming for the hills...marriage, children, credit score - these things are way too serious for a first date...I don't even know you yet, don't delude yourself into thinking I have even begun to consider keeping you around...
I couldn't have said it better myself! :flowerforyou:0 -
When dating, no. When marrying, yes. If you were getting ready to marry someone and found they had a lot of debt or a bad credit rating, that should raise as many flags as a police record or past history of infidelity. If you marry someone with debt, that debt in most cases is now yours equally under the law. And if they typically live with debt, they tend to run up more and you'll be responsible for it. Even if a divorce court says the other party must pay for all debt incurred in the marriage, in most cases that decree has no jurisdiction over creditors. Joint and several liability.0
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I can completely understand the logic behind this. I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who had a crappy credit score (unless there was a justifiable reason as to why it was the way it was. For example my husband had a low credit score because he refused to pay the termination fee charged by Verizon when they renewed his contract without telling him) because it means that they're not the greatest when it comes to money, budgeting and the important things.
Also, if things progressed and you ended up married to this person who is in a huge amount of debt and has crappy credit you now assume and become responsible for your partners debt.
Yep and i'd be happy with that cos i would be married to the person I love. Unless they were doing nothing about it or intentionally making it worse then its just part of them and their past.
Typically if they have the bad credit score it shows that they haven't been doing something about it and that, in turn, means they are intentially making it worse... so... I'm not with you on your counterpoint.
I agree. I think people saying that haven't had to deal with the effects of it, or if they have, they've always had enough money to power through it. So, it's a minor annoyance. But, for anyone that has had to deal with it, it sucks big time. I've been divorced for two years and I'm still dealing with it. Their issues become yours. Their bad choices and irresponsibilities become your bad choices and irresponsibilities. And then, they start hiding things to avoid a fight. They have credit cards you don't even know about. They open private bank accounts and you have no idea all this is going on behind your back for years. It all comes out later. And, guess who has to clean it all up. Yeah, the responsible one. F... That! Some of you just don't get it.
I will say though, this is more about the credit score. I'm not really talking about that, so sorry I took it off topic. I'm more talking about overall financial responsibility. The credit score would reflect that to a degree. It's not the whole story, but it's part of the big picture. If someone cannot pay off their debts, it usually means they borrow more than they can pay. Which then means, they don't understand 3rd grade math. Which probably means they have a pretty low IQ.0 -
wareagle8706 and neverstray - well glad you'd both right me off for mistakes i've previously made.
i am considered very responsible with money now by people around me, but it takes time to repair the past. and if you had hidden accounts etc behind your relationship that is more issues with trust etc in the relationship then about just the credit score and irresponsibility.
I hope one day i will i meet someone who judges the whole of me, not just a score set against one part of my past.0 -
wareagle8706 and neverstray - well glad you'd both right me off for mistakes i've previously made.
i am considered very responsible with money now by people around me, but it takes time to repair the past. and if you had hidden accounts etc behind your relationship that is more issues with trust etc in the relationship then about just the credit score and irresponsibility.
I hope one day i will i meet someone who judges the whole of me, not just a score set against one part of my past.
That's the only criteria we are speaking about in this post, in case you didn't read the title.
I can judge you on other things if you want, like your profile pic... very mature and responsible looking to me..... :huh:
I can tell you right now I have had credit cards since I was 18 years old (I'm 25) and never, ever have missed a single payment. I had 3 credit cards in college and I have two now, including a few retail cards. I also have a car payment. My credit score is excellent and I have never missed a single payment on any bill I've ever gotten. I was a resonsible adult from the beginning. I don't understand why you are trying to tell me that I shouldn't expect the same level of responsibility in a mate...0 -
wareagle8706 and neverstray - well glad you'd both right me off for mistakes i've previously made.
i am considered very responsible with money now by people around me, but it takes time to repair the past. and if you had hidden accounts etc behind your relationship that is more issues with trust etc in the relationship then about just the credit score and irresponsibility.
I hope one day i will i meet someone who judges the whole of me, not just a score set against one part of my past.
Preach it brother.
I'm like you. From the ages of 17-26 I was a complete **** with credit cards and companies just kept giving me more!!!
Now I'm working my *kitten* off to set things right. I work two jobs. I have absolutely NO down time. But I am determined to get these damn things paid off. It's going to take me 8 years to correct the mistakes I made but in the meantime I've managed to buy a house, build up a good credit score and just generally set myself in a good position. The only problem now is that I have this heavy debt load but by GOLLY I am doing something about it.
I am not irresponsible NOW but I was THEN.0 -
"How somebody treats their money is just another manifestation of how they treat the people around them."-- Suze Orman
Credit score shows a HUGE sign of responsibility. It's pretty important.
In the last 24 months I have lost 50 pounds of fat...one could say it was life changing. It truley was as I now look at life in a totally different way. I was ate up with the idea of money buys happyness, all it got me was fat and misurable. I now refuse to be judged by a 3 digit number and anyone that is that close minded need not be in my circle of influence. Truth be told Im 985,000 in debt and have a credit score somewhere in the poor to average range. This maybe irresponsibile to some but to me...well its my life summed up by corperate america with a 3 digit code. A life of success and of failure, trial and errors. A life of punching a clock to owe your soul to to creditors sounds like living death to me. Whats "pretty important to me" is the idea that one should believe and invest in them selves! Take risks, live life... Come on people stop being corperate pawns! Life is more than houses and cars (I've had and have may of them), its about quality of life. In the end its the moments not the stuff that matters.0 -
That's not always true though. I know many people with GREAT credit, but it's maxed out. They just pay the minimum each month on every bill. So yes they are responsible for paying their bills, but still lousy at money management.What happened to falling in love with the person? If you are only looking for credit scores/money then you may be dating the "devil" as I will always believe that money is the root of all evil!
To me, a good credit score does not mean the person has a lot of money, just that they're responsible with it.
But I do believe that someone with bad credit at one time had good credit and mismanaged it.
And while money shouldn't be the reason for a relationship, the management of it can cause issues because someone in the relationship will feel disrespected by the other and that's where it really kicks in.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
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Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Whoa, this thread is highly unsettling. Not even going to get involved beyond these two little sentences.0
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