is it my fault she died?

rml_16

People in the hospital often have access to computers and the internet. Her posting in her diary says absolutely nothing about whether or not she was in the hospital. Whether you believe her or not, on the chance that you are wrong, can't you keep it to yourself? The impact of you being wrong and vocal are much greater than the impact of you being right and silent.

This right here.

And as far as the comment about her having "an interesting life" or whatever, if I told you what I've gone through in the last year, I guess you'd think I was lying, too.

Or about how my grandmother nearly died two years ago, survived and then her sister -- who was not ill, just very old -- died the very next month. Sometimes a lot of bad things happen in a short period of time. If you haven't had that experience then you are a very lucky person.

Either way, I will not chance that the OP is not being truthful. If she isn't, I was kind to someone I thought was in need and it didn't cost me anything.

BorderlineAngel

Mental health facilities are permitted to close without a backup person identified, so long as there is a crisis hotline and their patients know it, which OP said there is. People who don't know anything about the way the systems work other than how they think they should work shouldn't use that as justification to needle the OP.

Starla_

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

mamkang

so sorry to hear that, no it not your fault! there is great forum if you are looking for more support, its depressionforums.org but I can see most people here are helping you out.

DoingitWell

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

Where were you 20 minutes ago??? Nevermind, the important thing is that you are here now.

BorderlineAngel

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

FlaxMilk

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

It makes sense that she'd create a topic multiple times if she is still struggling with it. She has mentioned she is seeking professional help. If she did create a thread asking what happened to her former profile, maybe she was curious to see what others thought about her.

I think it's fine if you don't want to get involved with OP. But why not just leave it alone? No one here is hurting themselves by offering her support.

Starla_

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

Using your illness as an excuse is just wrong. It is only a crutch if you make it so.

And yes I know this because I am mentally ill and have been for the last 14 years. It is up to you to change things when it comes to your illness.

UsedToBeHusky

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

Where were you 20 minutes ago??? Nevermind, the important thing is that you are here now.

Still waiting for you to move along. I knew 30 minutes ago about the OP's old account. I am familiar with her as well. Yes, she has some mental health issues. Sure, she could very possibly be making the whole thing up. But just as you recognized that her argument could have triggered her friend's heart attack, you don't know what triggers you might set off in the OP with your treatment of her. You're truly not accomplishing anything other than making yourself look bad. Isn't there any other troll on MFP that you can protect us from?

FlaxMilk

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

She is getting help, and change with BPD is a process. I also don't think she did anything wrong in this thread. (And yes, I also knew her by her former profile and knew they were the same person.)

LilynEdensmom

No no no no not your fault.....Your friend had a heart condition, nothing you did or said would change the outcome.

BorderlineAngel

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

Using your illness as an excuse is just wrong. It is only a crutch if you make it so.

And yes I know this because I am mentally ill and have been for the last 14 years. It is up to you to change things when it comes to your illness.

I go to a psychologist every week and am on medication.. how is that not getting proper help?

Starla_

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

It makes sense that she'd create a topic multiple times if she is still struggling with it. She has mentioned she is seeking professional help. If she did create a thread asking what happened to her former profile, maybe she was curious to see what others thought about her.

I think it's fine if you don't want to get involved with OP. But why not just leave it alone? No one here is hurting themselves by offering her support.

There are other websites better equipped for mental health advice and help, sites which actually have trained people to talk with. If the same posts keep coming up here then there are obviously problems that the OP cannot deal with herself but also the people on here are unable to help with too.

BorderlineAngel do you tell your psychologist about the forum posts you make on this site? If you don't, you really should because it is like a blog, they would be able to see how you think and feel in another situation and how you cope as well.

cmriverside

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

Using your illness as an excuse is just wrong. It is only a crutch if you make it so.

And yes I know this because I am mentally ill and have been for the last 14 years. It is up to you to change things when it comes to your illness.

This.

Also, ^^this^^.

The problem is that this type of personality thrives on attention and drama. By posting on an anonymous online forum, she gets the attention. It isn't helping her. All of you who are saying, "Oh, poor her, we will support her." ...are making her worse. She doesn't need online sympathy. She doesn't need you to enable her disordered thinking. She needs to deal with her issues head-on. Only SHE can cure herself. Stop feeding into the disorder by sympathizing over and over on her multiple threads. She can get better. She needs to be in intensive therapy. This type of drama only stirs up users.

DoingitWell

I think I can move on now. It's so easy to call someone a troll when they don't defend themselves. My point was made. You have a good night. Thanks, your assistance was awesome. Bye.

UsedToBeHusky

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

It makes sense that she'd create a topic multiple times if she is still struggling with it. She has mentioned she is seeking professional help. If she did create a thread asking what happened to her former profile, maybe she was curious to see what others thought about her.

I think it's fine if you don't want to get involved with OP. But why not just leave it alone? No one here is hurting themselves by offering her support.

There are other websites better equipped for mental health advice and help, sites which actually have trained people to talk with. If the same posts keep coming up here then there are obviously problems that the OP cannot deal with herself but also the people on here are unable to help with too.

BorderlineAngel do you tell your psychologist about the forum posts you make on this site? If you don't, you really should because it is like a blog, they would be able to see how you think and feel in another situation and how you cope as well.

While I agree that she could seek out more appropriate outlets, I don't see anything wrong with her seeking support here. I'm sure your suggestion will motivate her to look elsewhere for help so that in and of itself made this thread productive. The only problem that I have with her posting here is that she leaves herself vulnerable to self-proclaimed troll destroyers that might attack her for the simple sake of their own satisfaction.

Starla_

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

Using your illness as an excuse is just wrong. It is only a crutch if you make it so.

And yes I know this because I am mentally ill and have been for the last 14 years. It is up to you to change things when it comes to your illness.

This.

Also, ^^this^^.

The problem is that this type of personality thrives on attention and drama. By posting on an anonymous online forum, she gets the attention. It isn't helping her. All of you who are saying, "Oh, poor her, we will support her." ...are making her worse. She doesn't need online sympathy. She doesn't need you to enable her disordered thinking. She needs to deal with her issues head-on. Only SHE can cure herself. Stop feeding into the disorder by sympathizing over and over on her multiple threads. She can get better. She needs to be in intensive therapy. This type of drama only stirs up users.

This exactly ^ Thankyou.

UsedToBeHusky

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

Using your illness as an excuse is just wrong. It is only a crutch if you make it so.

And yes I know this because I am mentally ill and have been for the last 14 years. It is up to you to change things when it comes to your illness.

This.

Also, ^^this^^.

The problem is that this type of personality thrives on attention and drama. By posting on an anonymous online forum, she gets the attention. It isn't helping her. All of you who are saying, "Oh, poor her, we will support her." ...are making her worse. She doesn't need online sympathy. She doesn't need you to enable her disordered thinking. She needs to deal with her issues head-on. Only SHE can cure herself. Stop feeding into the disorder by sympathizing over and over on her multiple threads. She can get better. She needs to be in intensive therapy. This type of drama only stirs up users.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch your psych credentials. I'm pretty sure alienating her won't be anymore helpful. You have no right to tell her that she can't post on a public forum or that we can't lend her support.

gertudejekyl

it could be ..... let us all reflect on this..

BorderlineAngel

Geez..
I was simply asking a legitimate question...

Shayztar

LOLZ

Of all the mental health issues, Borderline Personality Disorder seems the most fun.

Starla_

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

It makes sense that she'd create a topic multiple times if she is still struggling with it. She has mentioned she is seeking professional help. If she did create a thread asking what happened to her former profile, maybe she was curious to see what others thought about her.

I think it's fine if you don't want to get involved with OP. But why not just leave it alone? No one here is hurting themselves by offering her support.

There are other websites better equipped for mental health advice and help, sites which actually have trained people to talk with. If the same posts keep coming up here then there are obviously problems that the OP cannot deal with herself but also the people on here are unable to help with too.

BorderlineAngel do you tell your psychologist about the forum posts you make on this site? If you don't, you really should because it is like a blog, they would be able to see how you think and feel in another situation and how you cope as well.

While I agree that she could seek out more appropriate outlets, I don't see anything wrong with her seeking support here. I'm sure your suggestion will motivate her to look elsewhere for help so that in and of itself made this thread productive. The only problem that I have with her posting here is that she leaves herself vulnerable to self-proclaimed troll destroyers that might attack her for the simple sake of their own satisfaction.

To be honest I keep seeing her pop up asking the same questions and contradicting herself and new groups of people telling her what she wants to hear over and and over again for over a year now. Posting in the general threads for serious mental help shouldn't be done and people should be redirected to groups on here (which she already knows about) or other sites better equipped.

Yes mental health is a huge thing when it comes to overall health and losing weight but serious problems need more specialised support. Not the type where it is possible for anyone to make a smart *kitten* comment and potentially cause more damage to the OP.

PikaKnight

Geez..
I was simply asking a legitimate question...

Why didn't you speak to someone who lived in the same area or to your family about this? Just curious.

FlaxMilk

Of course if this were the only place she were seeking help it would be inappropriate. No one here can help her on an individual level. That's why it's not up to any of us to treat her condition. She's not asking us to. No one got very dramatic here, including OP.

UsedToBeHusky

Geez..
I was simply asking a legitimate question...

Don't sweat it! Just know that your friend's death was not your fault and try to seek out some better outlets to discuss it.

FlaxMilk

Not the type where it is possible for anyone to make a smart *kitten* comment and potentially cause more damage to the OP.

I agree with this completely, I wouldn't ask a sensitive question on this forum myself. But since she did, it doesn't cost me anything to give her a response.

UsedToBeHusky

shes already posted this same topic before, under her previous name beautyfrompain, as she has already posted the majority of topics she posts.

She needs to have proper professional help, probably staying in the psych ward would have been a better suggestion than trying to deal with things on your own BorderlineAngel. eheadspace is open still if you really need it (i googled it).

As once a friend when you mention inconsistancies you get deleted or when you try to really help instead of pandering to her poor you feelings or agreeing with everything she says or you get deleted. I was.

She also created this before this profile http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821954-does-anyone-know-what-happened-to-beautyfrompain?

So yeah. Lovely to see the amount of people that like to help people on here, but when your help gets abused or you continually seeing someone abusing the system you do tend to get a little jaded when it comes to them in particular.

It makes sense that she'd create a topic multiple times if she is still struggling with it. She has mentioned she is seeking professional help. If she did create a thread asking what happened to her former profile, maybe she was curious to see what others thought about her.

I think it's fine if you don't want to get involved with OP. But why not just leave it alone? No one here is hurting themselves by offering her support.

There are other websites better equipped for mental health advice and help, sites which actually have trained people to talk with. If the same posts keep coming up here then there are obviously problems that the OP cannot deal with herself but also the people on here are unable to help with too.

BorderlineAngel do you tell your psychologist about the forum posts you make on this site? If you don't, you really should because it is like a blog, they would be able to see how you think and feel in another situation and how you cope as well.

While I agree that she could seek out more appropriate outlets, I don't see anything wrong with her seeking support here. I'm sure your suggestion will motivate her to look elsewhere for help so that in and of itself made this thread productive. The only problem that I have with her posting here is that she leaves herself vulnerable to self-proclaimed troll destroyers that might attack her for the simple sake of their own satisfaction.

To be honest I keep seeing her pop up asking the same questions and contradicting herself and new groups of people telling her what she wants to hear over and and over again for over a year now. Posting in the general threads for serious mental help shouldn't be done and people should be redirected to groups on here (which she already knows about) or other sites better equipped.

Yes mental health is a huge thing when it comes to overall health and losing weight but serious problems need more specialised support. Not the type where it is possible for anyone to make a smart *kitten* comment and potentially cause more damage to the OP.

I hope you realize that, for the most part, I'm agreeing with you.

cmriverside

I was legitametely asking a question.

By the way, look up Borderline Personality Disorder before judging. I can't help the way that I am...

Thats the thing, you CAN help the way you are. You CAN get the proper help. You are an adult, so getting the proper help you need and making sure you do the things you need to do is all up to you. As with taking advice from others.

Using your illness as an excuse is just wrong. It is only a crutch if you make it so.

And yes I know this because I am mentally ill and have been for the last 14 years. It is up to you to change things when it comes to your illness.

This.

Also, ^^this^^.

The problem is that this type of personality thrives on attention and drama. By posting on an anonymous online forum, she gets the attention. It isn't helping her. All of you who are saying, "Oh, poor her, we will support her." ...are making her worse. She doesn't need online sympathy. She doesn't need you to enable her disordered thinking. She needs to deal with her issues head-on. Only SHE can cure herself. Stop feeding into the disorder by sympathizing over and over on her multiple threads. She can get better. She needs to be in intensive therapy. This type of drama only stirs up users.

I'm sorry. I didn't catch your psych credentials. I'm pretty sure alienating her won't be anymore helpful. You have no right to tell her that she can't post on a public forum or that we can't lend her support.

On the contrary. If she can stir it up, I can serve it up. Fair's fair. No one said she couldn't post. And, I'm assuming you aren't saying I can't post, right?

PikaKnight

Not the type where it is possible for anyone to make a smart *kitten* comment and potentially cause more damage to the OP.

I agree with this completely, I wouldn't ask a sensitive question on this forum myself. But since she did, it doesn't cost me anything to give her a response.

Look, if I decide to put up a post about my personal problems, etc...I do so expecting remarks from the supportive, the blunt slap in the face peeps, the jokers, the snarkiest of the snarky and so on.....I don't expect just remarks from one or the other. That's what you get when you post on a public forum.

Maybe next time she should do a blog or talk to someone on her FL.

Better yet, she should talk to her support system in RL - like her friends and family.

lwagnitz

If you guys realize that she's posting multiple threads about the same thing for attention, why do you keep giving it to her?