husband put pressure on me

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  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    We're allowed to tell loved ones to stop smoking or not do other bad habits but losing weight is sacrosanct. Maybe this is why we have such a horrific problem in this country.
    Obesity is becoming it's own victim group.
    The "F" word is now FAT.
    And yes, it's no wonder why our nation has become so fat and getting fatter.
    This whole attitude is absurd.

    Good one. You hit the nail on the head. Today It's all about finding a reason to be offended; of being a victim.

    Political correctness is just another means of oppression.
  • danceym
    danceym Posts: 20 Member
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    Why are you on this site? If you need to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, ignore your husband. But YOU logged on to this website.

    ...says the skinny person

    lol that is what I was thinking , no offense to the skinny girl. :)
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    sorry you are feeling pressure. however, the reality is there; men are visual creatures.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    Why are you on this site? If you need to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, ignore your husband. But YOU logged on to this website.

    ...says the skinny person

    lol that is what I was thinking , no offense to the skinny girl. :)

    oh skinny-bashers, green is not your color.
  • Reeny1_8
    Reeny1_8 Posts: 277
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    My husband used to be like that but I told him I could very easily lose 155 pounds over night. That put an end to it. Now we work out together and watch what we eat together and he recognizes how hard it







    Love the "but I told him I could very easily lose 155 pounds over night." :drinker:
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    My husband told me two weeks ago that if I don't lose weight he's going to divorce me. I am a size 10. He wants me back down to a size 4. He says as far as he's concerned, since I'm not the same size, I'm not the same woman, and he doesn't look at me and see his wife. We stay home because he is embarrassed to be seen with me in public. When we run into his old friends at the store, he won't even introduce me.

    But I'm not doing this for him. He can go straight to hell. I'm doing this for me. And when I'm thin and hot again, I'm going to divorce his shallow *kitten* and find a real man that will love me for me, and not just to have a trophy on his arm. And yeah, I'm going to wait until I'm thin again, because if I left him now, he'd be happy about it, and I want that *kitten* to regret losing me. I have been a good wife, and he has no problem admitting that the only reason he's unhappy is because he doesn't like the way I look.

    Just make sure you get half the assets. :flowerforyou:
  • AniyahsMommy324
    AniyahsMommy324 Posts: 104 Member
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    My fiancé doesn't really pressure me to lose weight, but he does tell me he's like me to lose weight to be healthier and get back to a healthy weight that I was before I had our daughters so that we can have more children with hopefully uncomplicated pregnancies. And he wants me to because he knows I'm unhappy at this weight. He supports me more than pressures me, but sometimes it does feel like he's pushing a little too much. But I know he means the best.

    By like some previous posters have said, you can only lose the weight if YOU want to! No matter what anyone else says to you, you'll only start when you are ready.

    Good luck! :)
  • TallGlassOfQuirky
    TallGlassOfQuirky Posts: 282 Member
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    My ex husband never put pressure on me to lose weight, but he did make it clear that he did not find me attractive until I did lose weight.

    That being said, you can only lose weight for YOU. Not for anyone else.

    Yes, giving your family the gift of a healthy, happy you is a wonderful thing to do, but when it comes down to it, it's your body and only you can decide what you want to do with it.

    I hope you do get fit and healthy, and I hope your husband loves you as you are, supports you while you work on this, and appreciates you no matter what.

    Good luck!
  • gaynorv
    gaynorv Posts: 33 Member
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    Hi there we all need to go on the journey to a fitter lighter self for our selves ... I'm sure your husband is only trying to help but the key is believing in yourself and keep on trekking even when it gets tough .... It will be worth it ... Says she on the 4th day of her diet lol
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
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    Why are you on this site? If you need to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, ignore your husband. But YOU logged on to this website.

    ...says the skinny person

    lol that is what I was thinking , no offense to the skinny girl. :)

    What the heck?!? The "skinny girl" lost 55 pounds. Why are you two bashing on her? Am I allowed to "lololololol" at your comments once you hit YOUR goal weight?

    Knock it off.
  • Maris_Swan
    Maris_Swan Posts: 197 Member
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    If my SO was pressuring me to lose weight, we'd have to have a serious chat.
  • fadingdragon
    fadingdragon Posts: 4
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    Why are you on this site? If you need to lose weight, lose weight. If you don't, ignore your husband. But YOU logged on to this website.
    Wow. Just lose weight. Why didn't we all think of that? Why is she on the site? To ask for feedback about an issue of concern, I would have thought that was obvious. I do not usually feel the need to respond to such nonsense but I see you have made a lot of posts and I hope they do not all spew this kind of negativity. That would be sad.
  • bbydl64
    bbydl64 Posts: 30 Member
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    I think my husband wants to keep me heavy. I would get hit on all the time when I was thin.
  • ktrn0312
    ktrn0312 Posts: 723 Member
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    The impetus & the will has to come from you. Even the most highly & self motivated person has lots of moments where you question why I am doing this. I have had more of those moments especially when you are doing all the right things and the scale is not reflecting any losses. You will not be able to stick will it or if you do then resentment can build up. You can't change someone who doesn't to change themselves. I am sure your husband wants the best for you but, you must want it more for you.
  • 65please
    65please Posts: 4 Member
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    Hello I did not expect all this I was just wanting someone in my position to talk to. Thankyou to everyone who took the time to comment . My husband and I have been together for 30 years and the last 8 he has told me 3 times lose weight all the marriage is over the last time was xmas eve that why iam feeling i need someone to talk to who is in the same position . So I lose weight or I lose my husband who I do love very much . He is saying it because he wants me to be healthy and he said I need to love myself which Iam not sure how to do. He said men are visual people. So for years I feel he hates what he sees so I hide my body from him all the time. He is not overweight or drinks alot or smokes , He is a very hard working nice man.Iam 168cm and 83kg which my bmi in overweight. I have been to jenny craig a few times I lose weight , then when i finish i put the weight back on . I read the success stories on here i am amazed how much weight people lose . I need to do this I was just wanting someone to talk about it. Yes i do want to lose weight I do not like what I see but just do not know how . I will not stick to anything for to long i guess that is my problem. As alot of you said I need to want it more. thanks again for all the imput.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
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    But threatening that the marriage over if you don't lose weight is wrong, it's emotional blackmail.

    You need to be encouraged not threatened. Wouldn't it be more effective if he were to tell you how much he loved you and didn't want to lose you early because of weight loss issues.

    I read through this forum and read about the way some guys tell their women that they want them skinny and it makes me cringe. There are ways of going about it and I really don't think this is it.

    You need to find a way that works for you.

    Do YOU want to lose weight?

    If so, what are YOUR motivations? (mine are to fit into clothes that I wouldn't have otherwise have been able to fit into and to live a long and healthy life with hubby. I want as much time with him as possible).

    If you do want to lose weight, identify the problems areas (emotional eating for me) and work on changing it gradually over a period of time. It doesn't work like *bang* magic weight loss. It is an ongoing process.

    Perhaps hubby can encourage you by exercising with you? long walks together or go on bike rides...exercise is essential and something that he can constructively help with..
  • Rhozelyn
    Rhozelyn Posts: 201 Member
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    Hi. This brings on a whole new perspective. You are not overweight to the point that your appearance would be drastically changed or to the point that your health suffers physically. A husband who is threatening to divorce you for being slightly overweight has some other issues going on. You only can look at your marriage and see what else is going on. After 30 yrs together threats like that are hurtful and serious. It's important to talk to him about all this as it cannot just be a weight issue. Is he looking for an excuse to leave and use weight as a scapegoat ? Is marriage counselling an option? Best wishes
  • genghis54
    genghis54 Posts: 123 Member
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    Brilliant, and his tonge removed!!!!!
  • genghis54
    genghis54 Posts: 123 Member
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    Start nagging him to have a manhood enlargement operation.

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