Boyfriend is a Job Jumper

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  • BamBam125
    BamBam125 Posts: 229 Member
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    Sounds like he needs some structure. I assume he has no education after high school.

    Has he considered enlisting in the military? He's under 35, so that's still an option. One he couldn't easily walk away from at that.

    If I were in your shoes though, I would dump him.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
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    You're not overreacting at all. My ex-stepfather was the same way. He and my mom finally (mercifully) got divorced. Without my mom's steady income, he is now losing his house, has no savings, no retirement, and no job prospects because he's spent too much time going from job to job & "working for himself" and alienating people in the process.

    Your guy definitely needs to step back and rethink his life strategy.
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
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    I only read a few pages of the tread, so my apologies if this has already been said in some fashion.

    I completely understand your concern, uncertainty in the money department is a HUGE stressor in any relationship, and his track record during your relationship hasn't been great, but there is the positive that he continues to try to bring in his share of finances.

    I don't know his whole story, only what you've stated. I can only relate my husband's story in hopes that it will help when you sit him down to discuss your concerns.

    My husband was in the Navy for 5 years, after his contract was up, he got out so we could start our family (he didn't want to have kids while he was in the military). Unfortunately that was in 2008 when the economy crashed. It took him a while (about 6 months and 3 jobs) but he got lucky and found a job that he liked and worked there for two years. Just weeks after our son was born, he was forced to resign (in lieu of being fired). After that he floundered, jumping from job to job. He always tried to bring in money, but he definitely had an issue with not being happy or being able to stay at a job he hated or didn't feel challenged at. He even went back to school for a couple of semesters. That was a failure but it did help lead him to understand what he didn't want to do with his career life. He went through 6 jobs in a two year period before he landed his current job. I feel good that he's found something he really likes doing, challenges him, and has potential to grow with him.

    In your case, maybe you can provide him with some options if he expresses his unhappiness with his current choices. He could get financial aid to go to local community colleges and find something he really enjoys doing. And it might be worthwhile to have him go to a doctor to see if he has the adult version of ADD. But more likely than not, he's hit that early life crisis where he feels unfulfilled in his job and if it isn't fulfilling he doesn't want to waste his time with it.

    If none of that is the case, it may be time to move on.
  • Jmbean84
    Jmbean84 Posts: 261 Member
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    I'm kinda in the same boat . Only I've been with him 11 years and we have 3 kids! We aren't married and in the beginning I was naive and thought he would change once my oldest was born. Never did and here I am with 3 kids and stressed all the time about when he's gonna quit this job and tired of struggling to pay the bills. If it weren't for kids I'd have left a long time ago but now it's so hard cuz I'm not sure I want to stay but I don't want to take them away from their dad. I would leave now if I were you before things get even more complicated like my situation. He wnt change and I ish I had ad this advice before I brought kids into this world with a man that can't ( or just won't) commit to anything, ever.
  • phinphanbill26
    phinphanbill26 Posts: 574 Member
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    ounds lazy to me. A girl as pretty as you should have no trouble finding better...:wink:
  • disdatdude
    disdatdude Posts: 118
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    At least he has a job. Not everyone is happy and content sitting in their dead end job.

    He could be sitting at home watching Maury...or finding a date for when you drag him on Maury...hacking your account and getting high or sitting around naked and funky - waiting for you to come home :drinker:
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    How about sitting down & speaking to him about it? Ask him what kind of career would he like..
    He seems to be jumping from job to job because he was no direction.
    Help him get a plan together...explain yes he needs to work to pay bills etc but could he study at night towards something he would like to for more than a couple of months? Explain that you are building a life together & you want him to be happy & willing to help him figure it out. Good luck :)
  • darkthund3r
    darkthund3r Posts: 16
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    I cant believe all the ignorant people commenting on this. Do this, do that, looks like every guy wants you to leave your bf, why? So you can get in an internet relationship with them? LOL! Sounds like hes not happy with where he is in his life, it takes some people longer to find their path than others, time will tell. You have barely been together, 2 or 3 years is nothing. Some of the smartest and wealthiest people to ever live followed rocky paths to their destiny. And fyi im not sticking up for him because I switch jobs, have had the same job for 3 years.. but letting people over the internet give you advice about your real life problems is.... not a good idea. Ask your family, someone who cares about you.

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