Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?

iWaffle

Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

How much further along are you on your journey than your partner? Maybe they need to crack down on the diet more than you do. Perhaps they feel threatened that you're getting in great shape and they're stalled on the couch watching Seinfeld reruns. Maybe your partner is afraid you're getting all fixed up so you can dump them. Your partner could be riddled with insecurities about you getting in shape and they might not be telling you about it. Perhaps they don't fully understand that they're feeling this way and they're subconsciously acting out on this fear. Even if they're in great shape too that doesn't mean they have the same amount of confidence.

I do understand the abstinence from wine. It's much harder to make good eating decisions if you're not totally sober. Wine is more than social lubricant. It relaxes your mind and lets you make choices that you wouldn't make without it. Choices like bad food. Some people can handle having an occasional drink but others are just one sip away from diving head first into a vat of wine and eating all the cheese.

yoovie

GorillaNJ

hope she does not lose the taste for fish taco!!!!1

Thesoundofwolf

Communication is the key.
Education is the door.

Open it.

FitBeto

Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du
Yeah

Chief_Rocka

Just tie her up

MizSaz

If you can't talk to a partner about your feelings, either they aren't or you aren't much of a partner.

Frankly, everyone does this differently, Most of us are here because we're calorie-counters, but there are plenty of people, who in order to reach their goals, went low-carb, keto, paleo, vegan, or whatever else is out there right now. What you consider to be 'fine in moderation' may be almost 'trigger foods' for her. Example- I know it's ok to eat McDonald's in moderation, but I personally don't do it because it makes me want to eat more garbage. Talk to her. Find out what motivates her, and try to make your plans work in harmony,

1ConcreteGirl

I guess the question is actually how long do you think she will be able to stick with all the things that she's sworn off? Also, why did she start this anyway? Is it just a New Year's Resolution or do you think that maybe seeing you live a healthy lifestyle has made her want to as well? If that's the case then it could mean she's trying to be better for you. There are a lot of variables but at the end of the day, the only thing you can do is be the bigger person and love her if you love her.

GREAT response! This makes me feel super hopeful! A lot of "resolutioners" fall off the wagon, I know. Thanks for this!

Windy_

Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

I'd never quit you...

LaurieEReid

I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

I know it is probably overreaction on my part, I just can't help but think that if you love something or someone, you would find a way to keep it/them in your life, you know?

I agree with the first person. I can try to give up potato chips [my kryptonite] cold turkey but there is no way that translates to my commitment to my hubbie. You have to be supportive. Don't be a creep and try to get her to drink wine with you. Drink your small glass of wine and bring her a big glass of ice water.

katynic12

First I think people should REALLY read what you wrote before giving advice.

Second, you really should talk to her instead of asking strangers on here. We don't know anything about your relationship so any advice we give probably won't help. I personally don't think she will leave you just because she is getting rid of unhealthy foods in her life. If you support her in her choice to do this and work to find new healthy things to share (replacing wine) then she will most likely feel loved, supported and closer to you for it.

MoreBean13

Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

I'd never quit you...

Hello? Dibs.

1ConcreteGirl

do you have pics of you and your gf today? that would help me better help you.

Obvious troll is obvious. NO.

ArtemisRuns

I guess you should make sure the two of you are connecting. A person's relationship with food/wine shouldn't affect their relationships with people! But you don't want to seem insecure so be careful.

Crankstr

Why are you posting about our life on the interenet?

MoreBean13

First I think people should REALLY read what you wrote before giving advice.

Second, you really should talk to her instead of asking strangers on here. We don't know anything about your relationship so any advice we give probably won't help. I personally don't think she will leave you just because she is getting rid of unhealthy foods in her life. If you support her in her choice to do this and work to find new healthy things to share (replacing wine) then she will most likely feel loved, supported and closer to you for it.

I have a pretty good idea what will help. Thanks for assuming I can't read. This girl needs a real woman, not some fly-by-the-wayside dieter.

1ConcreteGirl

BAHAHA!

I know you're kidding, so this made me smile.

Crankstr

Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

I'd never quit you...

Hello? Dibs.

excuse you.

Windy_

Hi guys, I'm new here and really into the whole lifestyle change thing. I don't believe in calling this a diet. But my partner recently started her own "resolutioner" diet, and she has sworn off like ten things. She's not eating cheese or drinking alcohol anymore. She's completely cut off all kinds of "bad" foods, which I think are totally fine to eat in moderation.

This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE ) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too. Anyway, has anyone ever had to deal with rejection from a dieting partner? Should I talk to her about my feelings or will this just go away on its own?

I'd never quit you...

Hello? Dibs.

We can share, no?

songburd808

i think you should just express your concerns to her. a relationship is meant to have open communication. personally, i think cutting out foods is very different from cutting out a person so i don't think you have anything to worry about--but i don't know your partner. You shouldn't feel hesitant to bring up the question. If she laughs and goes, ' that's so silly!' than hurrah you can stop worrying. if she reacts any way differently than assuring you that you have nothing to worry about, THEN you should worry.