Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?
Replies
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Sometimes when you have a regular habit of binging on an unhealthy food, such as my relationship with potato chips, for example, it's easier to swear off it in the short term so you can relearn how to control yourself with that food. This shouldn't last forever, but in the short term it might be better for you, sometimes you need to be successful for awhile so you know that if you fail it's not the end of the world.
When someone is making a lifestyle change, that does impact their relationships, because they often formed habits with those people that will need to change. Talk to your partner and tell her you want to make sure you form new habits together that will keep your relationship strong- when getting into any new hobby or lifestyle it's easy to get so enthusiastic that you neglect other areas of your life. Maybe you guys could take a fitness class together or have a night a week where you cook a new healthy recipe together? If you feel neglected or like you need those routines to help feel connected, you might need to replace them with something new, but you CAN do it. I'm sure your partner has no intention of getting rid of you because she wants to lay off the wine. She may not be aware at all of how these changes are impacting your feelings.0 -
I guess you should make sure the two of you are connecting. A person's relationship with food/wine shouldn't affect their relationships with people! But you don't want to seem insecure so be careful.
Well, that's why I am asking you guys about it here before I overreact to her face. I want to make sure I'm being reasonable, since I have a tendency to get super emotional and fly off the handle at everything. Sux being a woman sometimes
maybe she can cook and buy all the things and you can eat and enjoy them and then yall can dessert it up together.
GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:0 -
This is kind of making me nervous, to be honest. I mean, if she can just reject the things she used to love like that, what will she do to me? She says she loves me, but I have to admit that seeing her reject all the things we loved together (WIIIIINE
) makes me wonder if she will just shove me away, too.
This is a huge leap that is frankly silly. Food is not people. We don't fall in love and have sex with cheese
pls explain emotional eating and the millions of people that turn to or away from food because of the mental and emotional challenges that they cannot control in their lives.0 -
Put on your favorite music, light candles, prance around in a sexy outfit.. accessorized by a lovely glass of wine. She'll come around.0
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I guess you should make sure the two of you are connecting. A person's relationship with food/wine shouldn't affect their relationships with people! But you don't want to seem insecure so be careful.
Well, that's why I am asking you guys about it here before I overreact to her face. I want to make sure I'm being reasonable, since I have a tendency to get super emotional and fly off the handle at everything. Sux being a woman sometimes
maybe she can cook and buy all the things and you can eat and enjoy them and then yall can dessert it up together.
GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:
I dont add people. only superheroes.0 -
This is a little crazy. Cutting out things she loved from her diet is so much easier than cutting out things she loves emotionally. I mean, you're not equivalent to a bottle of wine are you?
I wouldn't worry unless she actually gives you reason to believe she genuinely would break up with you or something. Otherwise, you're just over-analyzing.
But if you're really concerned, talk to her and let her know. People avoid this all the time, but it inevitably comes down to getting your opinion out there in the end, every time. Sooner > later!
Maybe part of the problem is that I love wine so much that I think of cutting it out of my life as basically the same as cutting her out of my life. This is a huge breakthrough. Thank you so much!!0 -
false alarm today 0 -
do you have pics of you and your gf today? that would help me better help you.
Obvious troll is obvious. NO.
im not a trol. im actually a vrry helpful person my helpful only comes out after i see the beautiful glory of women together, tho why doesnt ne1 believe me. your probably ugly anyway!
You're probably jealous that I'm into women because I have a mardi gras parade happening in my pic. Sheesh...MEN.
ur just scared that i will turn u strat!!!0 -
Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?0
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I guess you should make sure the two of you are connecting. A person's relationship with food/wine shouldn't affect their relationships with people! But you don't want to seem insecure so be careful.
Well, that's why I am asking you guys about it here before I overreact to her face. I want to make sure I'm being reasonable, since I have a tendency to get super emotional and fly off the handle at everything. Sux being a woman sometimes
maybe she can cook and buy all the things and you can eat and enjoy them and then yall can dessert it up together.
GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:
I dont add people. only superheroes.
Girl......catwoman ain't got nothing on me!0 -
I have threesomes with my Happy Clover cocoa swiss roll cakes and Magnolia langka and cashew ice cream. When I check the fridge and freezer, they are always there waiting. Even when I have headaches, I cannot reject the scandalous invitations of my lovers.
See, this is how I feel about food, too. Thank you for your understanding, even though you are a guy. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
I guess you should make sure the two of you are connecting. A person's relationship with food/wine shouldn't affect their relationships with people! But you don't want to seem insecure so be careful.
Well, that's why I am asking you guys about it here before I overreact to her face. I want to make sure I'm being reasonable, since I have a tendency to get super emotional and fly off the handle at everything. Sux being a woman sometimes
maybe she can cook and buy all the things and you can eat and enjoy them and then yall can dessert it up together.
GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:
I dont add people. only superheroes.
Girl......catwoman ain't got nothing on me!
i'll put something on you.0 -
Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?
Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.
I do KIK. We can talk. 0 -
Unless your partner genuinely had an intimate relationship with cheese, i'm pretty sure you're making something out of nothing and anyone who would tell you differently is just trying to get a reaction out of you for comedic purposes because the whole idea that she may leave you like she left cheese is so completely bizarre and ridiculous.
this made me giggle, but is exactly what i was going to write. don't overact and support her decisions for now . i am sure she'll go right back to her forbidden foods sooner than later.0 -
I wouldn't worry about it yet. It's still January. Just like having a fight with someone you love, you don't stay mad forever. It's unlikely that she will stick to giving up all the food/drink she loves forever either. She'll either totally go off the wagon, as many resolutioners do, or she'll learn to add them back sensibly.
But don't keep offering her the things she doesn't want right now. If so, she might see you as the reason she fails (if she does) and resent you. Just support her and if/when it does become unsustainable for her, be there to show her that it doesn't have to be all or nothing and help her learn moderation.0 -
Hey,
I recently went vegan and my boyfriend and I used to bond over cheese plates and fondue. You'll find other things to replace those things. I don't think she'll leave you if she loves you. It was upsetting to my boy at first which in turn upset ME because I felt I was doing something to improve my life. But we learned there are other things we can do to replace those things that I used to enjoy with him. She'll find new things she loves to eat just as much as she did wine & cheese and share those experiences with you. Maybe you'll find some new foods you like too!
Good luck!0 -
I guess you should make sure the two of you are connecting. A person's relationship with food/wine shouldn't affect their relationships with people! But you don't want to seem insecure so be careful.
Well, that's why I am asking you guys about it here before I overreact to her face. I want to make sure I'm being reasonable, since I have a tendency to get super emotional and fly off the handle at everything. Sux being a woman sometimes
maybe she can cook and buy all the things and you can eat and enjoy them and then yall can dessert it up together.
GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:
I dont add people. only superheroes.
Girl......catwoman ain't got nothing on me!
i'll put something on you.
We are just getting started and you're already trying to get between us! MFP is so odd.0 -
You have nothing to worry about, it's just resolution stuff. Anyway, I really don't think what your girlfriend is eating has anything to do with your relationship.
^ she just called your gf an undisciplined quitter0 -
I find this thread shallow and pedantic.
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ummm....
radical changes to your diet in persuit of health is NOTHING LIKE radical change to your partnership.
If you are seriously worried that she'll give you up the same way she gave up wine, I think you are far too insecure.0 -
GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:
I dont add people. only superheroes.
Girl......catwoman ain't got nothing on me!
i'll put something on you.
We are just getting started and you're already trying to get between us! MFP is so odd.
you can take turns being in the middle0 -
hmm well lol..I would say unless you turn into a candy bar...I would not be too worried about her cutting you out of your life...especially with a 6 pack like that
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"Resolutions" like that rarely last, I'm surprised she's lasted 11 days when they were things she really liked having. That said, as her partner you should support her in her endeavors the way "I hope" she supports you with yours. Even if unsuccessful it can still feel worthwhile if your partner was supportive the whole time.0
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ummm....
radical changes to your diet in persuit of health is NOTHING LIKE radical change to your partnership.
If you are seriously worried that she'll give you up the same way she gave up wine, I think you are far too insecure.
Maybe part of the problem is that I love wine so much that I think of cutting it out of my life as basically the same as cutting her out of my life. This is a huge breakthrough. Thank you so much!!0 -
I don't trust anyone who gives up cheese.0
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You have nothing to worry about, it's just resolution stuff. Anyway, I really don't think what your girlfriend is eating has anything to do with your relationship.
^ she just called your gf an undisciplined quitter
I'm kind of offended, but also kind of hoping (in this case) that it is true. Does that make me a bad person?0 -
I haven't read all of the responses to your situation so I may be repeating what someone has already said. Your partner is not food; food is not your partner. She is on her own journey. I think the important thing is to support each other in however you proceed. My husband is very supportive in my efforts but he will eat chips, soda, etc in front of me and I don't feel he loves me any less. He doesn't do it with malice; it's his choice to eat those things. And I don't demand that he not eat in front of me. Sounds like you are a little insecure and I get that. Concentrate on YOU; be courteous and supportive of your partner. Unless you two have other issues, life should be good. Good luck.0
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I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?
Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.
I do KIK. We can talk.0 -
I've not read all 4 pages but just because she's given up some foods/drinks (and who knows for how long) does NOT mean that she's going to dump you like she did cheese. I think it's a bit silly to think that and I think you may have some abandonment issues to work through. Not trying to be mean or anything just my opinion. Everyone has issues so you aren't alone. You should support your girlfriend in her quest for health and educate her about moderation. Many people get extreme when starting a new 'diet' then lose momentum. She could really use your knowledge to help her with a lifestyle change if she's serious. Either way, doesn't matter. Talk to her about your issues or talk to a counsellor because keeping it bottled up is bad for you. However, if my partner told me they were afraid I'd dump them because I gave up a food I love I'd be extremely hurt, angry, and annoyed.
Edited to add that if you two have the similar goal of being healthy and losing weight, I wouldn't worry. If you were being a couch potato and refused to go hiking or do anything that has to do with her new lifestyle then you might need to change that.0 -
You have nothing to worry about, it's just resolution stuff. Anyway, I really don't think what your girlfriend is eating has anything to do with your relationship.
^ she just called your gf an undisciplined quitter
I'm kind of offended, but also kind of hoping (in this case) that it is true. Does that make me a bad person?
no, just naughty colored.0
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