Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?
Replies
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I don't trust anyone who gives up cheese.
This is probably the root of my problem.:indifferent:0 -
Communication is necessary for a successful relationship. Talk to her, no one here is your girl, so it's all guesses. If you have a problem or concern talk it out.0
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pls explain emotional eating and the millions of people that turn to or away from food because of the mental and emotional challenges that they cannot control in their lives.
I don't see how that applies even remotely to the OP's story. Sure, people can have emotional attachments to food that are healthy or unhealthy, but food is an inanimate object that can't reciprocate love or dump you.0 -
Wow. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has done nothing but start to make healthy choices and you are by extension wondering if you are one of those.
I mean this with absolute respect, but you might want to seek counseling. Everything is not about you. It's a little disturbing that you've created this little story in your head about how this might play out. Extremely insecure and a little neurotic.
Just be happy that she's joining you on the journey to good health and life.0 -
I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?
Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.
I do KIK. We can talk.
So much support and motivation!! This is awesome! PM me, ladies!0 -
The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't.
This.
And YEAH you need to talk with her about this. If this is your partner, aren't you interested in how she feels/thinks about things? Don't you want to know why she feels her food approach will be the most helpful, at least for now?
It appears that your real question is "how would I know if she was going to dump me?" You might feel better if you had some insight on how she reaches "cut-off" decisions. And if you want her to share that, or share her thoughts on where YOU stand on the "keep/discard" listing...you're going to have to talk with her. Not a bunch of people on a forum, who aren't you or her.
Also, your fear doesn't indicate a lack of support. It's just a fear. Now man up and 'fess up and get it sorted out. Better now than later, and definitely better to be forthright, rather than letting a bunch of passive-aggressive behavior creep in.0 -
Wow. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has done nothing but start to make healthy choices and you are by extension wondering if you are one of those.
I mean this with absolute respect, but you might want to seek counseling. Everything is not about you. It's a little disturbing that you've created this little story in your head about how this might play out. Extremely insecure and a little neurotic.
Just be happy that she's joining you on the journey to good health and life.
I admit that I am a little neurotic. Which is why I brought this to you guys to see if it's something I should worry about before confronting her about these issues. What I am hearing is two totally different responses, so I'm not sure how to take that though...0 -
I hear that all lesbians love performing for dudes. They may like the ladeez, but what really turns them on is having **** in the room.
I just want to second this - OP I don't know you very well but have you thought about spicing it up with a voyeur? I'm not being creepy we're probably not in the same area but maybe you could get someone else in - (in a non participating role!!!) - to sort of remind her of why she's with you in the first place and kind of relight that fire? I've heard a LOT about lesbian bed death from my one friend who is interested in gay things (she's straight but took a sexuality class).0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
ditto
relax. express your concerns to her. open a dialog.0 -
Definitely overreacting, and honestly just a bit egotistical... You assume your choices are the "right" way and hers are "wrong". So if she does this differently than you, suddenly you are worried for her soul basically... Its like marrying someone and years later becoming a vegetarian and getting divorced because you dont understand how your partner can keep eating meat when it is SO obvious to you it is the way to go. Everybody thinks to themselves that they have the answer (finally! until the next revelation comes along and we find the "new" right answer!) but its pretty self-centered to project your vast wisdom to the world and think less of someone who doesnt think the way you do.
What if, right now, she is questioning you? Wondering how you, if you really loved her, could continue drinking wine and eating cheese when you know it is not what she wants? Wondering if you are going to choose the wine and cheese love over love for her? Would you take that seriously? Or would you think she has a point? What if next week you find out you have a gluten allergy and cut out all gluten and she looks at you wondering how you can just cut out something she needs in her life - is she going to be next?
Turn the situation around a bit - you are really off base here. People are different. People are at different places at the same time, even in relationships. Being in love doesnt mean agreeing on everything, or living a single life stuck together making the same choices on everything. I dont personally like chocolate, but if someone asked me to marry them, I certainly wouldnt hold the fact that they are addicted to chocolate against them! or forbid them from having it in the house!
Enjoy your differences... it makes you more interesting. The day you are in sync about everything and anything, you will have absolutely NOTHING to talk about anymore. Who wants that?!0 -
I guess the question is actually how long do you think she will be able to stick with all the things that she's sworn off? Also, why did she start this anyway? Is it just a New Year's Resolution or do you think that maybe seeing you live a healthy lifestyle has made her want to as well? If that's the case then it could mean she's trying to be better for you. There are a lot of variables but at the end of the day, the only thing you can do is be the bigger person and love her if you love her.
this. There are some people who go to the extreme for their weightloss and some who do moderation. It doesn't mean that she can dump you just as quick. don't equate her feelings with foods with her feelings with you0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
I know it is probably overreaction on my part, I just can't help but think that if you love something or someone, you would find a way to keep it/them in your life, you know?
Things are not people. Lose your sun glasses . . . well damn that sucks, but hey life goes on. Lose your kid and the world will be taken apart stone by stone until you find them again.
Cutting junk food and wine out of your life has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with pushing away a person you love.0 -
Definitely overreacting, and honestly just a bit egotistical... You assume your choices are the "right" way and hers are "wrong". So if she does this differently than you, suddenly you are worried for her soul basically... Its like marrying someone and years later becoming a vegetarian and getting divorced because you dont understand how your partner can keep eating meat when it is SO obvious to you it is the way to go. Everybody thinks to themselves that they have the answer (finally! until the next revelation comes along and we find the "new" right answer!) but its pretty self-centered to project your vast wisdom to the world and think less of someone who doesnt think the way you do.
What if, right now, she is questioning you? Wondering how you, if you really loved her, could continue drinking wine and eating cheese when you know it is not what she wants? Wondering if you are going to choose the wine and cheese love over love for her? Would you take that seriously? Or would you think she has a point? What if next week you find out you have a gluten allergy and cut out all gluten and she looks at you wondering how you can just cut out something she needs in her life - is she going to be next?
Turn the situation around a bit - you are really off base here. People are different. People are at different places at the same time, even in relationships. Being in love doesnt mean agreeing on everything, or living a single life stuck together making the same choices on everything. I dont personally like chocolate, but if someone asked me to marry them, I certainly wouldnt hold the fact that they are addicted to chocolate against them! or forbid them from having it in the house!
Enjoy your differences... it makes you more interesting. The day you are in sync about everything and anything, you will have absolutely NOTHING to talk about anymore. Who wants that?!
I never thought about it this way. Can you explain more about how I could enjoy our differences or bring that into our relationship?0 -
If it is making you that nervous I think you should talk about it constuctively (not like me who waits till i can't stand it and then break down and cry when I do finaly).
In my personal opinion you have nothing to worry about. You both have the same goal you just have different approaches to it. my guy and I are the same way. I am more like you with the moderation attitude and he is more like your woman with the nothing bad attitude. There is nothing to worry about. The only way I see this getting tricky is if you live together and want to take turn making dinner for each other. Just show her unconditional support in her approach and ask that she do the same for you. It's just a fitness change not a relationship one. It'll be okay. Just rember to keep and open communication with her! 0 -
I hear that all lesbians love performing for dudes. They may like the ladeez, but what really turns them on is having **** in the room.
I just want to second this - OP I don't know you very well but have you thought about spicing it up with a voyeur? I'm not being creepy we're probably not in the same area but maybe you could get someone else in - (in a non participating role!!!) - to sort of remind her of why she's with you in the first place and kind of relight that fire? I've heard a LOT about lesbian bed death from my one friend who is interested in gay things (she's straight but took a sexuality class).
Hmm... I am trying to be openminded here. Maybe you could suggest a sexuality class in my area??0 -
I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.
I know it is probably overreaction on my part, I just can't help but think that if you love something or someone, you would find a way to keep it/them in your life, you know?0 -
You have nothing to worry about, it's just resolution stuff. Anyway, I really don't think what your girlfriend is eating has anything to do with your relationship.
^ she just called your gf an undisciplined quitter
I'm kind of offended, but also kind of hoping (in this case) that it is true. Does that make me a bad person?
no, just naughty colored.
hehehe! I am okay with that! (don't tell my gf though...)0 -
It sounds to me like she just wants to improve herself. My bf loves beer, but I have given up alcohol (mostly cause I am a ***** about hangovers) and I am working on getting healthy. We don't have the same way of doing it, but we find other things to share. I think you should be more concerned about how you have convinced yourself she will leave you. Relax, just because people can give up things at the drop of a hat doesnt make them bad people. (I gave up smoking cause I didn't like the taste anymore, did I dump my bf who smokes? no.)
It will be fine. Just breathe and both of you guys find fit and healthy things to enjoy together.0 -
The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't.
This.
And YEAH you need to talk with her about this. If this is your partner, aren't you interested in how she feels/thinks about things? Don't you want to know why she feels her food approach will be the most helpful, at least for now?
It appears that your real question is "how would I know if she was going to dump me?" You might feel better if you had some insight on how she reaches "cut-off" decisions. And if you want her to share that, or share her thoughts on where YOU stand on the "keep/discard" listing...you're going to have to talk with her. Not a bunch of people on a forum, who aren't you or her.
Also, your fear doesn't indicate a lack of support. It's just a fear. Now man up and 'fess up and get it sorted out. Better now than later, and definitely better to be forthright, rather than letting a bunch of passive-aggressive behavior creep in.
I think it's kind of offensive that you told me to "man up." Lesbians are just as much women as any other woman.0 -
Wow. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has done nothing but start to make healthy choices and you are by extension wondering if you are one of those.
I mean this with absolute respect, but you might want to seek counseling. Everything is not about you. It's a little disturbing that you've created this little story in your head about how this might play out. Extremely insecure and a little neurotic.
Just be happy that she's joining you on the journey to good health and life.
I admit that I am a little neurotic. Which is why I brought this to you guys to see if it's something I should worry about before confronting her about these issues. What I am hearing is two totally different responses, so I'm not sure how to take that though...
Ok. If you need reassurance, just talk to her. But, not in a "are you planning on leaving me" kind of way.
You might have to join her on her journey. No wine from now on. Stuff like that. Get into her side of it. Remember, people aren't doing things TO YOU. It really is not about you. The journey is about her. She might want you to get on her bandwagon now.0 -
The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't.
This.
And YEAH you need to talk with her about this. If this is your partner, aren't you interested in how she feels/thinks about things? Don't you want to know why she feels her food approach will be the most helpful, at least for now?
It appears that your real question is "how would I know if she was going to dump me?" You might feel better if you had some insight on how she reaches "cut-off" decisions. And if you want her to share that, or share her thoughts on where YOU stand on the "keep/discard" listing...you're going to have to talk with her. Not a bunch of people on a forum, who aren't you or her.
Also, your fear doesn't indicate a lack of support. It's just a fear. Now man up and 'fess up and get it sorted out. Better now than later, and definitely better to be forthright, rather than letting a bunch of passive-aggressive behavior creep in.
I think it's kind of offensive that you told me to "man up." Lesbians are just as much women as any other woman.
hey why won't you accept my friend request/?!?!0 -
do you have pics of you and your gf today? that would help me better help you.
Obvious troll is obvious. NO.
im not a trol. im actually a vrry helpful person my helpful only comes out after i see the beautiful glory of women together, tho why doesnt ne1 believe me. your probably ugly anyway!
You're probably jealous that I'm into women because I have a mardi gras parade happening in my pic. Sheesh...MEN.
Jealous for sure. I mean, I am female and I kind of want to second his response...0 -
The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't.
This.
And YEAH you need to talk with her about this. If this is your partner, aren't you interested in how she feels/thinks about things? Don't you want to know why she feels her food approach will be the most helpful, at least for now?
It appears that your real question is "how would I know if she was going to dump me?" You might feel better if you had some insight on how she reaches "cut-off" decisions. And if you want her to share that, or share her thoughts on where YOU stand on the "keep/discard" listing...you're going to have to talk with her. Not a bunch of people on a forum, who aren't you or her.
Also, your fear doesn't indicate a lack of support. It's just a fear. Now man up and 'fess up and get it sorted out. Better now than later, and definitely better to be forthright, rather than letting a bunch of passive-aggressive behavior creep in.
I think it's kind of offensive that you told me to "man up." Lesbians are just as much women as any other woman.
hey why won't you accept my friend request/?!?!
Um. You asked for pics of me and my gf together. Not happening.0 -
Hmm... I am trying to be openminded here. Maybe you could suggest a sexuality class in my area??
Really? Are you kidding me? You don't even care enough about your relationship to get a copy of the recreation guide for your county and see what's going on at like local community centers!? She's better off without you.0 -
Wow. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has done nothing but start to make healthy choices and you are by extension wondering if you are one of those.
I mean this with absolute respect, but you might want to seek counseling. Everything is not about you. It's a little disturbing that you've created this little story in your head about how this might play out. Extremely insecure and a little neurotic.
Just be happy that she's joining you on the journey to good health and life.
I admit that I am a little neurotic. Which is why I brought this to you guys to see if it's something I should worry about before confronting her about these issues. What I am hearing is two totally different responses, so I'm not sure how to take that though...
Ok. If you need reassurance, just talk to her. But, not in a "are you planning on leaving me" kind of way.
You might have to join her on her journey. No wine from now on. Stuff like that. Get into her side of it. Remember, people aren't doing things TO YOU. It really is not about you. The journey is about her. She might want you to get on her bandwagon now.
Can you tell me more about how I can join her on her Journey?0 -
Hmm... I am trying to be openminded here. Maybe you could suggest a sexuality class in my area??
Really? Are you kidding me? You don't even care enough about your relationship to get a copy of the recreation guide for your county and see what's going on at like local community centers!? She's better off without you.
lol I'm sorry, obviously I care about my relationship; I made this post to try and save it. I just don't know where I would find that recreational guide for my country.0 -
Why aren't you supporting her decision to be healthy? If you are worry that she will cut you off like the "bad" food, I think you should talk to her. To me, it seems like you are really insecure about the relationship.
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Thanks guys, I think I got the answers I need. You guys are awesome for caring and supporting me.0
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I can't believe some of the responses--how old are the people posting!?
Rejecting a food item is in no way connected to rejecting a partner. Don't compare yourself to wine or a donut. It's a whole different ball game. What she eats is a personal choice. Her capacity to diet does not say anything about her capacity to love you. Keep them separate.0 -
I dont think its such a big deal tbh, Ive cut out lots of foods, such as proccessed, grains, sugar, and such and I have no intention of breaking up with my boyfriend just because he is sat drinking his coke and eating his pizza most nights. The foods I cut out were bad for me, despite my love for them, my boyfriend is good for me so not planning on cutting him out. So maybe Im missing the point, but it doesnt seem like you should worry. Its 2 completely different things.0
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