Diet + Love: Has this ever happened to anyone?

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  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    GREAT idea! I see how you got to be the inspirational story that you are. Add me!! :happy:

    I dont add people. only superheroes.

    Girl......catwoman ain't got nothing on me!

    i'll put something on you.

    We are just getting started and you're already trying to get between us! MFP is so odd.

    you can take turns being in the middle
  • akilahleemarie
    akilahleemarie Posts: 80 Member
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    hmm well lol..I would say unless you turn into a candy bar...I would not be too worried about her cutting you out of your life...especially with a 6 pack like that ;)
  • MystikPixie
    MystikPixie Posts: 342 Member
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    "Resolutions" like that rarely last, I'm surprised she's lasted 11 days when they were things she really liked having. That said, as her partner you should support her in her endeavors the way "I hope" she supports you with yours. Even if unsuccessful it can still feel worthwhile if your partner was supportive the whole time.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    ummm....

    radical changes to your diet in persuit of health is NOTHING LIKE radical change to your partnership.

    If you are seriously worried that she'll give you up the same way she gave up wine, I think you are far too insecure.


    Maybe part of the problem is that I love wine so much that I think of cutting it out of my life as basically the same as cutting her out of my life. This is a huge breakthrough. Thank you so much!!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I don't trust anyone who gives up cheese.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    You have nothing to worry about, it's just resolution stuff. Anyway, I really don't think what your girlfriend is eating has anything to do with your relationship.

    ^ she just called your gf an undisciplined quitter

    I'm kind of offended, but also kind of hoping (in this case) that it is true. Does that make me a bad person?
  • tamaranewman
    tamaranewman Posts: 5 Member
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    I haven't read all of the responses to your situation so I may be repeating what someone has already said. Your partner is not food; food is not your partner. She is on her own journey. I think the important thing is to support each other in however you proceed. My husband is very supportive in my efforts but he will eat chips, soda, etc in front of me and I don't feel he loves me any less. He doesn't do it with malice; it's his choice to eat those things. And I don't demand that he not eat in front of me. Sounds like you are a little insecure and I get that. Concentrate on YOU; be courteous and supportive of your partner. Unless you two have other issues, life should be good. Good luck.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?

    Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.

    I do KIK. We can talk. :)
    I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.
  • perfecting_emptiness
    perfecting_emptiness Posts: 49 Member
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    I've not read all 4 pages but just because she's given up some foods/drinks (and who knows for how long) does NOT mean that she's going to dump you like she did cheese. I think it's a bit silly to think that and I think you may have some abandonment issues to work through. Not trying to be mean or anything just my opinion. Everyone has issues so you aren't alone. You should support your girlfriend in her quest for health and educate her about moderation. Many people get extreme when starting a new 'diet' then lose momentum. She could really use your knowledge to help her with a lifestyle change if she's serious. Either way, doesn't matter. Talk to her about your issues or talk to a counsellor because keeping it bottled up is bad for you. However, if my partner told me they were afraid I'd dump them because I gave up a food I love I'd be extremely hurt, angry, and annoyed.


    Edited to add that if you two have the similar goal of being healthy and losing weight, I wouldn't worry. If you were being a couch potato and refused to go hiking or do anything that has to do with her new lifestyle then you might need to change that.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    You have nothing to worry about, it's just resolution stuff. Anyway, I really don't think what your girlfriend is eating has anything to do with your relationship.

    ^ she just called your gf an undisciplined quitter

    I'm kind of offended, but also kind of hoping (in this case) that it is true. Does that make me a bad person?

    no, just naughty colored.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    I don't trust anyone who gives up cheese.

    This is probably the root of my problem.:indifferent:
  • sjmitchner
    sjmitchner Posts: 121 Member
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    Communication is necessary for a successful relationship. Talk to her, no one here is your girl, so it's all guesses. If you have a problem or concern talk it out.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    pls explain emotional eating and the millions of people that turn to or away from food because of the mental and emotional challenges that they cannot control in their lives.

    I don't see how that applies even remotely to the OP's story. Sure, people can have emotional attachments to food that are healthy or unhealthy, but food is an inanimate object that can't reciprocate love or dump you.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Wow. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has done nothing but start to make healthy choices and you are by extension wondering if you are one of those.

    I mean this with absolute respect, but you might want to seek counseling. Everything is not about you. It's a little disturbing that you've created this little story in your head about how this might play out. Extremely insecure and a little neurotic.

    Just be happy that she's joining you on the journey to good health and life.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Actually this did happen to me! I was with my SO for almost 4 years, we even got a dog together! But then he started getting all healthy and stuff- and everything changed. We stopped going to parties together, he quit coming with me to go shopping, he started spending time at the gym and ignoring me because he was more concerned with how he looked. Eventually he even quit his job--- like who does that? All because he wanted to workout. Well when that loser quit his job and couldn't buy me anything I asked for anymore.. girl I kicked that boy to curb. So watch yo self.. your partner could go down that same road. some people get really obessive when it comes to their "new" way of life. If you want to chat about it- I'll PM you my contact information- do you KIK?

    Yikes! This is scary stuff, I am sorry you had to go through that... I am sure you are better off now, though.

    I do KIK. We can talk. :)
    I KIK too. We can Three-way. I would LOVE to support you both.

    So much support and motivation!! This is awesome! PM me, ladies!
  • Stripeness
    Stripeness Posts: 511 Member
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    The only reason she'd swear you off is if you become bad for her. So don't. =)

    This.

    And YEAH you need to talk with her about this. If this is your partner, aren't you interested in how she feels/thinks about things? Don't you want to know why she feels her food approach will be the most helpful, at least for now?

    It appears that your real question is "how would I know if she was going to dump me?" You might feel better if you had some insight on how she reaches "cut-off" decisions. And if you want her to share that, or share her thoughts on where YOU stand on the "keep/discard" listing...you're going to have to talk with her. Not a bunch of people on a forum, who aren't you or her.

    Also, your fear doesn't indicate a lack of support. It's just a fear. Now man up and 'fess up and get it sorted out. Better now than later, and definitely better to be forthright, rather than letting a bunch of passive-aggressive behavior creep in.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    Wow. Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. She has done nothing but start to make healthy choices and you are by extension wondering if you are one of those.

    I mean this with absolute respect, but you might want to seek counseling. Everything is not about you. It's a little disturbing that you've created this little story in your head about how this might play out. Extremely insecure and a little neurotic.

    Just be happy that she's joining you on the journey to good health and life.

    I admit that I am a little neurotic. Which is why I brought this to you guys to see if it's something I should worry about before confronting her about these issues. What I am hearing is two totally different responses, so I'm not sure how to take that though...
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    I hear that all lesbians love performing for dudes. They may like the ladeez, but what really turns them on is having **** in the room.

    I just want to second this - OP I don't know you very well but have you thought about spicing it up with a voyeur? I'm not being creepy we're probably not in the same area but maybe you could get someone else in - (in a non participating role!!!) - to sort of remind her of why she's with you in the first place and kind of relight that fire? I've heard a LOT about lesbian bed death from my one friend who is interested in gay things (she's straight but took a sexuality class).
  • jeckalynne
    jeckalynne Posts: 102
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    I honestly don't see how swearing off foods that she has decided are bad for her relate to whether or not she will swear off a significant person in her life.

    ditto

    relax. express your concerns to her. open a dialog.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
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    Definitely overreacting, and honestly just a bit egotistical... You assume your choices are the "right" way and hers are "wrong". So if she does this differently than you, suddenly you are worried for her soul basically... Its like marrying someone and years later becoming a vegetarian and getting divorced because you dont understand how your partner can keep eating meat when it is SO obvious to you it is the way to go. Everybody thinks to themselves that they have the answer (finally! until the next revelation comes along and we find the "new" right answer!) but its pretty self-centered to project your vast wisdom to the world and think less of someone who doesnt think the way you do.

    What if, right now, she is questioning you? Wondering how you, if you really loved her, could continue drinking wine and eating cheese when you know it is not what she wants? Wondering if you are going to choose the wine and cheese love over love for her? Would you take that seriously? Or would you think she has a point? What if next week you find out you have a gluten allergy and cut out all gluten and she looks at you wondering how you can just cut out something she needs in her life - is she going to be next?

    Turn the situation around a bit - you are really off base here. People are different. People are at different places at the same time, even in relationships. Being in love doesnt mean agreeing on everything, or living a single life stuck together making the same choices on everything. I dont personally like chocolate, but if someone asked me to marry them, I certainly wouldnt hold the fact that they are addicted to chocolate against them! or forbid them from having it in the house!

    Enjoy your differences... it makes you more interesting. The day you are in sync about everything and anything, you will have absolutely NOTHING to talk about anymore. Who wants that?!

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