How do you know someone is the one?

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  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    I have no idea this is basically a bump.
  • Countryboy_
    Countryboy_ Posts: 618
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    Please tell me. Because I'm so confused lately....

    You tie them up and weigh them down with cinder blocks and throw them off the bridge. If they float, they are not the one. If they sink and drown...they are the one. Simple.

    (What do we burn, apart from witches?)
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    When you can poop in front of them.
  • coe28
    coe28 Posts: 715 Member
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    My ex-husband was "the one". Then we got married and he was abusive and mean and treated me like crap. When I got pregnant he left me for another woman.

    Obviously my radar is inaccurate.
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    If they had a disabling illness or injury and needed to have diapers or wound dressings changed, would you care for them with love and without resentment? Even if they no longer recognized you? Would they do the same for you if the roles were reversed?

    If you really loved someone, you wouldn't want them to spend the rest of their lives looking after you when you don't even remember them. I'd want my fiance to go on without me. x

    I'm thinking back to when my mother was dying of cancer. Should my dad have walked away after 41 years of marriage? Hell no! He was honored and determined to be there for her right through it all. He would not have wanted to abandon her to avoid a few weeks of particular unpleasantness.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,473 Member
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    well,,,,it brings butterflies to your tummy every second you look at them,,,
    you walk, talk, sleep them,
    if you do not feel DEEPLY
    they are not for you.
  • BuffyEat2Live
    BuffyEat2Live Posts: 327 Member
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    Do you want to spend the rest of your life with them? Do you feel this way even on the bad days? Do they make you happy 95% of the time? Do they love you completely the way you are but are okay with your changing and evolving? Can you say the same thing about them?

    In my opinion these are the critical questions. Once you can answer "yes" to all of them, you have probably found The One for you.
  • DarkAngel262
    DarkAngel262 Posts: 118 Member
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    When you don't wonder what else is out there...
  • vvelasquez1
    vvelasquez1 Posts: 3
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    LOL!
  • vvelasquez1
    vvelasquez1 Posts: 3
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    IS there a such thing? =(
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
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    Watch 'A Bronx Tale'.

    All you need to know.
  • MystikPixie
    MystikPixie Posts: 342 Member
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    With only 3 posts in over half a hour, the answer is, there is no answer.

    ^^^ This.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    unlocks the driverside door for you while they are inside the car...duh. sheesh havent you watched "a bronx tale"?


    Thought I was the only one left that knew this was the true test!!!!!

    make that three.
    When you dont have to ask yourself if the are the one

    Pretty much this.
  • Hirgy03
    Hirgy03 Posts: 332 Member
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    If they had a disabling illness or injury and needed to have diapers or wound dressings changed, would you care for them with love and without resentment? Even if they no longer recognized you? Would they do the same for you if the roles were reversed?

    If you really loved someone, you wouldn't want them to spend the rest of their lives looking after you when you don't even remember them. I'd want my fiance to go on without me. x

    Well, we marry for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do we part. At that point, its about whether love and marriage is a commitment, or whether its about convenience. I understand your point, and I'm not pointing fingers at you or anything like that...but I've been through it, and it was in my early 30's fwiw. I hope that it showed character to stay with her, no matter what, because there is no possible way I could have NOT been by her side to look out for her, to take care of her, etc. I would hope that she would have done the same for me, and I'm pretty positive that she would have. Would I want her to be happy and move on versus devoting her life to care for me? Of course. Would the character of the person I chose to spend my life with allow for that? Nope.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    When you dont have to ask yourself if the are the one


    What gets me is when I see couples that have been together for years breaking up. Surely at some point they thought of each other as 'the one' and then they've ended up apart so what makes my situation different? Did those people always know they weren't right for each other?

    Long marriages don't necessarily mean happy marriages. There was a great article on the AARP website that I read the other day that addressed the reasons why many long-term marriages fail. I know communication, trust and intimacy are very important parts of a relationship and are the main contributors to the success of long-term relationships.

    http://www.aarp.org/relationships/love-sex/info-06-2010/naked-truth-long-term-marriages-end.html

    Like I said before, I have been with my husband for 23 years. It wasn't always easy, but we worked through everything and came through even stronger than when we started. I knew he was worth the investment and he knew I was, because we were the "one" for each other.
  • reneemosley
    reneemosley Posts: 95 Member
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    When you love them more every year .......even after 22 years.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    well,,,,it brings butterflies to your tummy every second you look at them,,,
    you walk, talk, sleep them,
    if you do not feel DEEPLY
    they are not for you.

    This is more like stalker obsession...
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    When someone cuts off the head of the Kurgan with Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez's sword and goes through the quickening.

    Wait, am I the only one who went right to the highlander reference?

    I think I <3 u....:flowerforyou:

    hahahahahha
  • charlenelockhart3
    charlenelockhart3 Posts: 76
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    i dont believe there is necesarily such a thing as "the one", I am happily married but believe there's a lover round every corner for each of us. When you decide to be with someone i think you have to make it work. it doesn't just happen. xx
  • sundaywishes
    sundaywishes Posts: 246 Member
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    I feel like all of these are right...
    You feel like your best version of yourself when you are with him. You have similar goals and lifestyles, and want similar things for the future. You have similar ways of handling money (if you don't, you're going to be fighting about it for your entire marriage!). He is supportive of your hopes and dreams, and you are supportive of his. You have known him long enough to have had time to observe his behavior in a variety of settings, and admire his character. His actions match his words (does he say he loves you but then screams and yells at you? If so, maybe think twice!). How does his father treat his mother? Remember, that is his role model for marriage!

    Yeah, that heart-pumping attraction has to be there, too. But don't let it sway you from looking at the issues of compatibility! Just because someone makes your heart throb doesn't mean he would make a wise marriage choice.

    Good luck!
    He will make you want to be a better person. You will feel like you are getting the better end of the deal (not in a selfish way). You will want to negotiate rather than fight. You will know without doubt that they love you. You won't even wonder if they would ever cheat on you. You won't be able to picture a life without them.
    It's cheesy but I saw something that said "don't marry a man unless you'd be proud to have a son exactly like him" and I realized this was true. I would've hated to have had a son like my ex but would love to have ones like my boyfriend.

    ^ This, along with, would you be proud of this person parenting your child, being an influence in your child's life? Even if you don't want kids, I feel this is a good question to ask yourself.

    Its so frustrating, I know, to hear people say "you just know it"....but, in reality, you really do "just know it".
    If anybody has to "change" to make it work..... then he is definitely NOT the one. Just my two cents' worth
    When you don't wonder what else is out there...
    The short answer is, you just know. There's no attempts to try to convince yourself of it.

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