marriage or friendship?

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  • Jenrosa28
    Jenrosa28 Posts: 732 Member
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    friendship
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    Marriage is only good if it's to the right person.
  • lna_1981
    lna_1981 Posts: 696 Member
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    Marriage is only good if it's to the right person.

    This is true, but it also goes to say that marriage is great work on both parties. It can be fun and rewarding but effort needs to made by both parties. Don't worry so much about not being married yet as to finding that someone that you can't live without. Relationships go thru stages too ...you won't always be in that lovey mushy stage, you get comfy with your partner. Love isnt always a feeling , it is a choice.

    I wish you all the best and just let life happen
  • _BlueGreyGreen_
    _BlueGreyGreen_ Posts: 943 Member
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    Marriage is only good if it's to the right person.

    This is true, but it also goes to say that marriage is great work on both parties. It can be fun and rewarding but effort needs to made by both parties. Don't worry so much about not being married yet as to finding that someone that you can't live without. Relationships go thru stages too ...you won't always be in that lovey mushy stage, you get comfy with your partner. Love isnt always a feeling , it is a choice.

    I wish you all the best and just let life happen

    Well said!
  • Go_Mizzou99
    Go_Mizzou99 Posts: 2,628 Member
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    Love is not what you see in the movies.

    After 28 years I can honestly say that I love my wife very much. I can't imagine my life without her.

    But!!!

    We do not gaze into each others eyes and sigh deeply and rip our clothes off and have a good shagging (like in the movies)...sometimes we skip the first two steps.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
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    When I find her I choose marriage.
  • I_need_moar_musclez
    I_need_moar_musclez Posts: 499 Member
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    40 years old, never been married, will never be married. I've seen too many husbands and wives screw each other over and too many damaged children to ever take that risk.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,793 Member
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    Marriage or Friendship? They are not mutually exclusive.

    Marriage AND Friendship !!
  • MissyI30
    MissyI30 Posts: 382 Member
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    Do you mean I am still young to marry?
    What is an ideal age?

    I don't think there is an idea age for marrying. I do think you need to be mentally prepared for marriage. If you think your going to go into it just to later regret not having enough time alone not enough time to party ect then you probably shouldn't get married. Marry someone only if you truly love them only if you are ready to be faithful and trustworthy and are really ready to spend the rest of your entire life together. You have to be able to commit to another person. Marriage has a lot to do with trust. Without it you have nothing. The marriage ceremony and the certificate are just that a ceremony and a piece of paper. To me marriage is all about having enough love for another person that you would literally do anything for them. Never go into it thinking well if it doesn't work then I gave it my best shot. It's not something to take lightly because you are dealing with people's trust, heart ect. I always took it as a full on commitment and if you are ready to fully commit and give it you're all. Then I say go for it no matter what age.
  • laynerich15
    laynerich15 Posts: 1,918 Member
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    Seven
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    Meh. I like being married. Most of the time.
  • 365andstillalive
    365andstillalive Posts: 663 Member
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    Honestly, just based on your responses you're not ready for a marriage, in part because you don't seem to understand what one means. Marriage isn't meant to "subtract" from your life; if you're worried about losing your ability to hang out in a bar with the guys, find a girl who's cool to do that or who doesn't mind you going; worried about losing your personal time? set boundaries, don't move in together right away, ensure you still have separate habits, hobbies and friend groups.

    When you marry someone, it's like making them your official partner. You make a commitment to make each others lives fuller; to bring laughter, joy, sadness, new opportunities, and in many way to be co-dependent, whether that's sharing the bills, caring for a child or just having someone to love and support you through the challenges of life.

    You seem very focused on your age and concerned about the quality of women you'll find now that you're "getting older". Don't marry someone because of that.

    I'm 21, my boyfriend whom I've been living with for 1.5 years, is 30. Age isn't the taboo factor it used to be, so if you decide you want a younger woman, I'm sure you can find one. But again, age is a silly qualifier that should likely fall way down the list somewhere below personality and sexual attraction.

    For now, my advice would be to date (that's how you meet that special someone to marry, should you and they so choose) and judge people on their worth to you; do you have things in common? do they make your life better, worse, or are you indifferent to them? I think once you find someone you really care about and have a strong relationship with them, you'll be in a much better position to decide if marriage is right for you.

    While I've been living with my guy for a while now and he's told me many a time that he wants to marry me, we're both on the same page about the fact that really that doesn't need to happen right now. It will happen eventually, because I do believe in marriage as an institution and see it as that culminating commitment to be with someone forever and my guy sees it the same way. But realistically, I just graduated university, I've got debt that I consider to be my own only, I'm trying to enter a career field that might involve travelling etc.

    As you can see, just a few factors go into a marriage and whether it's right for you. Do what makes you happy; and please marry someone you're friends with, they really should not be separate things.
  • icu814me2
    icu814me2 Posts: 212 Member
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    I think BOTH is optimal. :laugh: :drinker:

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