Most hurtful comments

darkheart

Sorry to hear that happened to you

When I was younger my mom and dad would address me as "fatty" (in their native language) and my younger sister "mouse" (again, in their language) because she was so skinny. I never really thought twice about it; I thought well, yeah, I'm chunkier than her so whatever, but now that I look at it, I wasn't even that fat when I was younger! I definitely went through a fat phase when I was in my early teens, grew into my weight, and again right after I turned 21 (go figure), but even now at 116 lbs, I still never feel thin! I have to tell myself to snap out of it! There were comments from my mom that "oh you're too big for that outfit; it wouldn't look good on you" or "you were cuter when you were younger" that I heard as a teen, but I thought "eh, she's right", ya know? I didn't really think she was saying anything wrong.

I guess some hurtful comments stick subconsciously, especially if you've been subjected to them at a young age. Don't get me wrong, I don't sit around crying about how my parents said I was fat all the time; I didn't even mind it at the time (at least when I was really young), but I now realize that maybe there was some long-term self-image damage there?

cardio_fiend

They are insecure and thats why they feel the need to make ignorant comments. forget them. You are beautiful on the outside as well as the inside.Keep doing what your doing. feel free to add me.

I agree with this statement. Very incredibly hurtful and mean words were spoken to you. Stay strong.

Sorry that happened to you

Soloflyergirl2

With constant television viewing on websites, etc., everyone ELSE thinks they are stand up comedians.... and they are not..... so ... you need an arsenal of Come backs."..... You don't have to be rude... but you have to say something then and there to make the person who insulted you feel like two cents.... You can cry later ... but not in front of the insulter........ For example...... to the guy who noticed how much you ate... you can turn to his wife and say.... Looks like he's concerned about everyone being satisfied.... Where's your doggy bag???? ha.... Or...... if someone does the oink oink sound..... find out where they work.... and send a recording with a message to his/her boss that says.... Employee of the month.... oinked at me today.... Is that a company policy??? .... Whatever you do or say... it has to be legal..... and not hurt you later in some way....... Or ... you can give the opposite reaction to what they expect.... If they expect you to cry... Laugh in their faces..... Do it... Do NOT give anyone YOUR power..... You are in control..... You are strong.... Don't you know the weak areas of men???? ... When you return a comment that hits one of those... they, and everything else about them... shrinks...
:flowerforyou:

JadeZaragoza

Wow, what a douche, thank God he's no longer your anything:)

krisiepoo

I was running and a bunch of kids starting yelling insults at me and one said that he couldn't believe fat people could run then they all started laughing. It sucks, but I just had to pretend I didn't hear them

M_Ogaidi

Are people mental? How mean. You are beautiful and cupcakes are delicious for parties! You go, girl!

MizTerry

Projection, darling. Only people who have some sort of insecurity need to make others feel bad. But then again, no one can make you feel bad without your consent.

Excellent quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Every girl should be able to quote it in her sleep.

MariaHammer750

It really makes me feel so sad to read your entry because I know how much that hurts and to hear stories of the ignorance in this world is equally sad. I have encountered people like this as well. After a few months of counseling, I have gotten enough courage to speak up when people say things like that to me. I was in Sizzler recently and I am a quite large person and I was with my sister who is also very large size. We were standing in line waiting to pay and go in and 2 men were ahead of us. They whispered to each other and started laughing then 1 of them turned to us and asked if we were married and then jabbed his friend in the ribs and said to him"there you go buddy" and was laughing when he said it. I think what people like this are counting on is that we will be too embarrased to say anything and will just walk away leaving them laughing, but I was feeling empowered so I said to him, "Now why would you ask a question like that to a perfect stranger?" Then it was him who became embarrased and his face turned red and he answered that he guessed he was being thoughtless and I agreed with him that it was thoughtless. It did stop both of them from snickering, in fact, they didn't look our way again.

PikaKnight

Someone on the subway last week asked if I was pregnant (I am SURE it was to be nice and offer a seat) but I am not. I'd just like to offer this tip to the world: unless a woman is IN LABOR.. do not ask.

You know what anyone should do if someone asks them that for the lolz?

Go, "Why yes and..." *stop suddenly, widen your eyes in surprise and panic and then say* "Oh..my..god..I think my water just broke!"

And when they get the look of absolute terror on their face go, "Pssyyyccchhh. That's what you get for assuming. Have a good day."

D00zerk39

I just don't understand people sometimes. Growing up I was always a chunkster, so insults being thrown my way from other kids was not unheard of. Being an adult I thought it would change a bit, but I was very wrong. Adults can be worse! I hate being at the gym, actively working out, and people are still giving me the stink eye. Really? If I was anywhere else they'd be wondering why I'm not at a gym. You'd think they'd be saying "Way to go lady! You're at the right place and we support you!" (In a perfect world.) Both of my sisters are the picture of health, so being with them at the gym can be a bear sometimes. I think they don't understand it from my perspective, but they still manage to be supportive. All I can do is focus on my reasons for being there:
- live healthier
- boost my self esteem
- fit into a cute red dress that's been living in my closet for far too long (and not paying rent)

"For everyone else" is not on my list, and it never will be...

Jennvandemark

I am so sorry those people did have a good upbringing to know right from wrong.

My bad experience happened at a military club on base. It was a girls night out and they had a comedy show going on. Sitting having drinks with the girls enjoying the night and the comedian singles me out of the crowd and begins to fat bash me in front of the whole club. I smiled to act like it didn't bother me but after the show I cried in the bathroom and then got a taxi home. Sad part hubby was deployed at the time so I went home and cried with chips, cookies and ice cream. Now if that happen to me know I would have ripped that man a new one. Still that man fat bashing me in no way prompted me to lose weight that came 10 years later. Look at me still remember that night like it was yesterday.

ambermadore

People are very ignorant. And usually when someone is making fun of someone else, it's because they feel insecure about themselves and it makes them feel better to pick on someone else instead of someone picking on them. Or maybe they're just plain ol' jerks. Either way, the best remedy for this is to learn to love yourself. I tell everyone to do that BEFORE they start losing weight because no matter how much weight you lose, and how much you physically change, you'll NEVER be happy with your results if you don't love yourself first. People put so much pressure on how they look, but life is about WAY more than what we look like. It's the loving people in our lives, our personalities, our jobs, our hobbies, our talents, etc that make us the person we are. I hope you learn that you are gorgeous (I love your profile picture) and you have a lot to offer. Hope you begin to feel better soon.

Cynclancurrie

I grew up in the sixties and my extended family began harassing me about my weight when I was about seven. Soon it became my life's goal to be thin. I starved myself as often as I could and ended up developing bulimia and binging, plus suicide attempts and horrifically low self image. Over the last fifty years I have won national awards for my painting and writing, I graduated first in my class at a private school (which I attended on an academic scholarship), magna cum laude, and I began to cut myself so ferociously that I can never wear short sleeves or shorts above the knee. Please PLEASE throw away those comments and love yourself and all the goodness in the world and yourself. If I could go back in time and relearn how meaningless weight really is, and how many small-minded, cruel people exist and have to be cut away from you like dead wood ... you are BEAUTIFUL.

sheclimbsrocks

You should have given him a cupcake. To the back of the head!

xHeraclesx

hmm.. at least it was a stranger- the one time I did get in the best shape of my life, my wife never complimented me. One night I asked her if she was happy about a 50lb fat loss and getting back in shape. She said " Sure, even if you look funny with no *kitten*" . I dont understand the resentment, and shes a pretty and fit woman so I dont get it. I think people are just mean sometimes.

gypsyrose64

Walking behind a slender woman toting 3 young ones, my husband (at the time) says "she's had 3 little kids back-to-back, so what YOUR excuse again?!" ..... I gained 50 x 2 pregnancies and it never came off.

Rude comments from strangers are bad enough, but it's a dagger to the heart when it's someone you know.

Sorry that happened to you. Don't give stupid people a second thought!

Stacyplus5

hmm.. at least it was a stranger- the one time I did get in the best shape of my life, my wife never complimented me. One night I asked her if she was happy about a 50lb fat loss and getting back in shape. She said " Sure, even if you look funny with no *kitten*" . I dont understand the resentment, and shes a pretty and fit woman so I dont get it. I think people are just mean sometimes.

I think sometimes spouses start feeling insecure when we start losing weight and getting in shape, I recently ran into a guy I havent seen in about 6 months he said wow your getting the single woman body, this maybe why my hubby is so clingy lately,

MariaHammer750

I remember when I joined the gym once and these 2 guys walking by commented, "here come the New Years resolutions".

NRSPAM

I was crossing the road with my somewhat new boyfriend and his cousin. We were just leaving a tattoo shop where I was getting a tattoo on my ankle. I was trying to be tough and not ask for a break during the whole thing. So I sat in this chair for about 2-3 hours, with only 1 smoke break. When we were done, my foot was asleep as we were crossing the road n these two girls in a car, waiting to go, yelled "get out of the way fat a@#!" Of course I told them off...being me, but still! It didn't necessarily hurt, but it was really embarrassing, since I was with two guys, and still in a new relationship. I guess it didn't really hurt, because I'm pretty used to it, though. I've been fat since I was about 10 years old, and was always picked on growing up. Didn't have many friends growing up, since I was the "fat kid." One thing that really killed me, is that there was a group of boys who always used to pick on me and call me fat, and they had this one kid they were friends with who was really huge! Way bigger than me. He was chineese, and literally looked like a sumo wrestler, in elementary school. I thought he was nice and all, but I was like, why the hell are you always picking on me, and I never hear you say anything to him? They just said, leave him alone! I was like, what the hell??? Not that I wanted him to get picked on...I just didn't get it.

Lifting_Knitter

I've never gotten the fat comments but I have gotten the ugly comments so I feel your pain. :flowerforyou: a flower and a *hug* for you.