Most hurtful comments

Divedriven

That kind of playground meanness suggests that you encountered insecure, self-centered, immature, bullies. The hope is that when the pain they have caused others is visited upon them, that their atrophied hearts are softened and that they weep for forgiveness. I hope you will see their cruelty as testimony to how much the world needs the kind of compassion you were showing the stray animals of Mexico.

penrbrown

Thanks for all the kind words everyone. I am so sorry to hear how common it is to have people feel the need to put others down, and for all those who have been hurt by those words. I have had a lot of other comments just fall by thee waist side, not sure why these ones stuck, I think it is more about the lack of respect for another person than the actual words. I am working on my self, everyday, in some way, to be a better person. I am always mindful of how I speak to others, because you never know what anyone is going through, your words, if they are kind, can turn a bad day into a good one, and if your words if cruel, hurtful, or even just plain rude can push a fragile person over the edge.

Good thing we're stronger than that isn't it. We got this!

michellebergamo

Seriously, why don't people mind their own business?!

It can be so hurtful. There are things that stick in my memory from SO long ago. It's amazing what an impact these words can have.

When I was real young (maybe 8) a friend's brother asked straight out, "Why are you so fat?"

In college, once while running, a passerby in a car yelled "Better run faster!" - FU, dude. I'm trying to exercise and get healthy here, way to stomp on me.

A client (old woman, 80s) at work I hadn't seen in several months said "Wow, you must have had a REALLY GOOD summer, you've put on a lot of weight"

And I've gotten the old standard many times : "You have such a beautiful face!" - Just face?

AliciaStinger

I can't believe how awful people are. It's sad. I've also been called "fat" and "pudgy." Even as a kid. I was told I was too fat to do ballet by a rec council ballet teacher! I was called "chunky" by my sewing instructor when I was 8. I've had other kids call me names throughout my life. My ex-boyfriend used to make fun of me for my size and lack of strength, then tell me I was crazy for dieting and exercising. It's hurtful, and it's mean! We'd never instruct our kids to say things like that! I'm sorry that you've been so hurt. It's difficult to let comments like that "roll off," like so many people will tell you to do. Those people are ignorant, and they don't define who you are. You are a beautiful, intelligent, kind woman. Thanks for having the courage to share your hurts with us. There are good people out there who support you on your journey to be HEALTHY and happy!

Sadly, people do instruct their children to say such things, by setting the example that it's okay, or by laughing when their child does it to someone else. Since these people are so selfish, the only thing that affects them is when someone says it to their child.

I'm sorry to anyone who has had to endure hurtful comments from others. Tell them off. Find their flaws and point them out loudly. Don't start a fistfight, but don't let it slide by when you have a chance to turn it around and leave feeling proud of yourself.

luthien86

Men who make negative comments about women are one of the worst kind of beings, like you somehow owe it to them to look a certain way.

romojo1921

Usually people who make hurtful comments are miserable people. They'll make those types of comments to people who they think won't call them on it, not just people who they view as overweight. Just keep in mind that they get by with it, but they never get away with it. They eventually get it back in some way. Don't focus on the negative. Just keep on logging your meals and exercise on MFP and YOU stay positive.

Phany04

Urg! People can be so mean. A coworker laughed at me and made a comment which I couldn't hear very well about my body... All because I bent down to pick up a napkin from a box to give to her. I was being nice with her and she didn't even appreciated it. I hurt me still.

I also had two adults male yell at me "go to the gym" from a car.

fatladysings72

"Fat people"- We are the most courageous, hard working people on the planet. It's just that not all of us have realized it yet. If we have come to this site and joined, then the awakening has begun. No one can take your courage, strength and determination from us except us. We make our bodies work the hardest to burn calories, we make our muscles lug around lots of weight, we function in everday life keeping up with people half our size, we endure painful insults and guilt and continue to go out and dance, continue to breathe, continue to love! We are truly amazing people and capeable of so much more. Once we learn to love ourselves, that fat comes off. What a treasure! That is something none of those people will ever know.

jgirlredzz

Here is my comment. It is terrible that people have said hurtful things to you. And it would be nice if you could just "not let it bother you." However, since you posted it here, I know that it did, and there is no way to think yourself out of the hurt feelings you have from the things that people have said.
So what is important is to feel these hurt feelings (and all the hurt feelings that have been stuffed down) and let them out.
What I have learned as a part of my journey is that suppressed feelings are a big part of what has led me to using food as a comfort.
So, here is what I suggest--it has worked wonders for me. Get a space to yourself, let anyone who might be close by (like family members) that you need some time to let off some steam, and to please not interrupt you--better yet, send them out for the afternoon.
Then make sure your space is well equipped with pillows, dish towels, other unbreakable objects.
Sit and say a prayer to what ever Higher Power you believe in and ask for guidance and protection as you work to let go of pain and rage that has been stored in your body. Then let your mind wander and allow yourself to remember the hurtful comments and then, instead of running from the feelings, open yourself up to feeling them. Welcome the feelings and name them, allow all the feelings to come through with tears, anger and rage. Let the feelings run through your body and let your body respond how it feels good--hitting pillows, using a dish rag to "beat" against a table top, cry scream etc. until you are done.
Your Spirit will let you know when it is time to stop, and you will. Then close with a prayer of thanks and journal anything that you learned from the process. Notice how you feel afterward--lighter and happier? Depressed and heavier?
Know that this is not a "one and done" process, but that repressed sadness and anger is finite--we often think that if we let open the door to our pain that it will swallow us up and we will never recover--the opposite is true. When we let ourselves express our feelings, we are truly letting them go, and there is no power left.
So instead of not letting the oink guy get to you (he already has gotten to you) allow the feelings to be felt and then be done with them. Otherwise "oink" guy has power that he doesn't deserve. (What a jerk by the way)

I am holding you in Love and Light.

aw111100

People that feel the need to be rude or disrespectful to others really need to take a good look at their lives and see what they are compensating for. Just because they are unhappy people they do not have the right to be rude. Unfortunately people think they do. Jerks. That is a very sweet and kind thing that you do for the animals. I am currently studying veterinary medicine to be a technician and I think that is amazing. The world needs more people like you. I have not had anyone be rude to me about my weight lately but when I was younger I was at a pizza place with some friends and a lady walked by our table and asked me if I should be really eating pizza and suggested the salad bar. I just said I appreciate the suggestion and kept eating my pizza. My friends on the other hand had a few choice words for her and they let her have it. I chose not to say anything even thou it hurt, because I didn't want to cause a scene. I felt comfortable with my friends to eat the pizza but needless to say I felt insecure after that. The old saying sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt, is bull crap. Words can hurt worse in my opinion, but we just have to look past their stupidity and keep on moving forward.

Anthonydaman

Most people are horrible, but you aren't Lisa. Chin up, anyone who takes time to care for a stray animal is a winner in my book

coderedjulia

I remember working at a local deli, and one of the 5 managers working there was younger than me. She made every attempt to humiliate me and pick on me when I did nothing but work my butt off. She wrote me up for something I don't remember no reason probably, and she was just a complete stuck up you know what. Well, one time she was talking about my weight behind my back, and calling me names. She said this to another manager who wasn't amused. The other manager told the GM and she almost got fired. She was in tears. It doesn't pay off to be mean to other people as you can see.

zagrath769

I hate the fact that I am even dignifying their ignorance, but it hurt.

Wow....what horrible horrible things to say. I can't believe there are such bad people in this world. Oh -- and thank you for helping the animals. I have 6 cats and a dog....all rescues. I have been involved with rescue for 12 years and I love it. Animals are the best - they don't judge and they love you no matter what.

somemansdream

My sister and I are both big women but we still like to go out dancing about once a year together. In Texas it gets really hot so I wore a tank top with a shirt over it but not buttoned. Walked into a bar and there was a group of girls there with a couple of guys. One smarted off, "ohhh who do they think they are??" talking about me and my sister. I looked at my sister and said, "wow! skinny chicks so insecure they got to make comments about us looking hot"....my sister dragged me out of the bar before a fight evolved lol.

Monica_has_a_goal

I have been stared at, but I personally don't break down nor turn away..

I guess I have THIS LOOK on my face that says.. "yeah, say it.. I DARE YOU TO SAY IT!"

But I grew up in LA, California.. We learn really quick not to back down or other people take advantage of your civility.

All I have to say is if anyone hurts you.. take back that power and make it positive! Lose the weight and continue to be beautiful..

both inside and out! :flowerforyou:

ChristineS_51

You may be overweight, but you are working on that and WILL be fit and at your desired goal one day - being here is evidence of that. :flowerforyou:

But those rude people - will always be nasty rude and bitter people. :mad:

It says more about them than it does you. You sound like a wonderful caring person who thinks of others, don't let these nasty comments hurt you.

I don't know how you would feel about having a ready made comeback - maybe say

"I may be fat but I'm not a rude and insensitive (***insert word/curse word of choice here***). I am working on MY problem - are you working on yours?" :laugh:

GinaAnnGrilli

So Sorry to hear that. I had a similar experience when I started power walking/jogging. My co-worker and I are built about the same and had the same weight loss goals so we started jogging around her neighborhood which borders along a main street. One day some me in a truck were cattle calling and yelling rude offensive and degrading comments. Really, I was initially upset, but this only helped to push me harder towards my goal. Now I jog in more secluded areas because I like the nature views, but also my ipod and ear buds help so all I will hear is rockin tunes to encourage me along. BE STRONG. KNOW YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND NEVER EVER DENY YOURSELF THE POWER TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. We all hit bumps here and there but those are just learning experiences. Bless you for sharing! Sunshine and smiles to you!

gayle4882

I don't think I've ever told anyone this story. When I was in the fourth grade I overheard my aunt talking to my mother. She said " You better do something about your daughter. She's getting fat. It's only going to get worse if you don't do something about it now". She went on to sing the praises of her two beautiful slender daughters. My cousins. She pointed out their tiny waist lines and slender hips. I looked down at my pudgy bell and chunky thighs and cried. I had a lot of stress in my young life and food was my compfort. I didn't say anything to my mother. She was very kind and suportive to me but the comment stayed with me my entire life. It was so damaging. I think it was a pivitol momment for my self esteem going forward and really definded me for the first 25 years of my life.
I learned so much from those words as grew I older. Words cause damage. They scar and hurt people. And it's real!

Fast forward 49 years- That Aunt is 75lbs overweight herself and in poor health. Her two daughter are obese as well. I my self managed to lose my "baby fat" by the time I turned 18. Today I weigh a slender 147lbs And wear a size 4 jeans. My weight crept up on me when I was in my 40's and I had to drop 30lbs. It was tough but I did it!! I often wonder if I should tell my aunt how much her comments hurt me.

KittyViolet

Ooo Mama absolutely LOVED to let her baby girl know how much an utter f***ing disappointment she was, from the day she was born. Yes, that little girl would be me. My dad would try to protect me when he could, but we as humans tend to focus on the negative. At first, she'd try to get me to eat more because apparently half a steak, a potato, and maybe a 1/4 cup of corn is too little for an EIGHT-YEAR OLD, so I got into the habit of eating a lot. On came the weight and then when puberty, BOOM. That was it. It was flubber city from there on. And of course, my mother noticed so then she changed gears and she'd harass me for eating too much. And then she fell into a health nut phase where she'd try and force me to eat all manner of oddball "detox" and "weight loss" recipes from the magickal internet, where everything is true! I stopped eating at the table at some point, and holed up in my room for meals at home. I just wanted her goddamn incessant nagging about food to stop. Gym class was another favorite topic to pick on me about. "Why are you only getting 70% in Gym class? Why aren't you trying harder? Why don't you like sports? That's how you lose weight!" And then there were multivitamins and supplements. "They're good for you! You don't eat enough! You NEED these pills!"

Oh, and now that the weight is gone and I ENJOY exercising? Yeah, she calls me anorexic in every other conversation we have. THANKS, FEMALE PARENTAL UNIT. Your support is f***ing fantastic!

I also had a rumor spread through my hometown that I was pregnant. I carried most of my weight in my midsection, and truth be told, I did look a few months pregnant. Apparently someone saw me chilling out in a bikini and decided that my name shouldn't be under the radar anymore. That is a big reason why I don't associate with a lot of the townies. Everybody knows everybody else's business, or so they think. It didn't bug me too much considering what I went through at home. It's not like I knew who started it.

And finally, one big moment I can remember when I was working for my family as a waitress. An old family friend came in to say hello. I hadn't seen him in years. He immediately recognized me, and the first words out of his mouth were "My, you've really filled out!" I'm pretty sure I had to pick my jaw up off the floor. I think he realized he made a huuuge mistake when he saw my face. It took every ounce of willpower to NOT beat him senseless with the tip jar!

KittyViolet

I don't think I've ever told anyone this story. When I was in the fourth grade I overheard my aunt talking to my mother. She said " You better do something about your daughter. She's getting fat. It's only going to get worse if you don't do something about it now". She went on to sing the praises of her two beautiful slender daughters. My cousins. She pointed out their tiny waist lines and slender hips. I looked down at my pudgy bell and chunky thighs and cried. I had a lot of stress in my young life and food was my compfort. I didn't say anything to my mother. She was very kind and suportive to me but the comment stayed with me my entire life. It was so damaging. I think was a pivitol momment for my self esteem going forward and really definded me for the first 25 years of my life.
I learned so much from those words as grew I older. Words cause damage. They scar and hurt people. And it's real!

Fast forward 49 years- That Aunt is 75lbs overweight herself and in poor health. Her two daughter are obese as well. I my self managed to lose my "baby fat" by the time I turned 18. Today I weigh a slender 147lbs And wear a size 4 jeans. My weight crept up on my when I was in my 40's and I had to drop 30lbs. It was tough but I did it!! I often wonder if I should tell my aunt how much her comments hurt me.

DO IT. But then again, I'm a colossal b**** and I relish in the utter jealousy of my former "superior" peers. Like my ex-boyfriends for example!