Online Relationships...

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  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I am still very close friends with my recent ex-girlfriend, who is from California (now going to school in Iowa City). We met on DeviantART, a social networking site for young aspiring (read: crappy) artists, and became friends, talking on AIM as often as we could. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers and began to text, and talked on the phone and Skype. When I asked her out, I didn't even know what she looked like except for a few old photos on her Facebook. We met in person for the first time about a month after we officially started dating, and only saw each other for a few weeks out of the three years we were together. We moved in together, finally, last year, but sadly there were already issues between us driving us apart. It had nothing to do with living together. I ended it after two months of living with her, and moved back home, and now we remain friends, but nothing more.

    Online relationships, whether friendships or relationships, are in my experience the most intellectually intimate relationships a person can have. I knew my girlfriend inside and out. I knew exactly what she liked and didn't like, I knew her past, her regrets, her secrets, and her triumphs. I knew about her family and friends just through what she told me, and I knew about where she went to school and the area she lived in. And she knew all those same things about me in return. We developed an affection for each other that ran deeper than anything I have ever experienced, or will ever experience. It was almost unhealthy at times, but we were head over heels for each other. I got angry any time someone questioned the validity of our relationship, because to us, we were as close as close could be.

    On the shallower end of the spectrum, I have met up with a handful of guys for blind dates that I initially chatted with either on OkCupid or Craigslist. None of them went anywhere, but for the most part they were all positive experiences. Certainly more positive than the handful of guys that I met at parties in various places.

    I dislike the stigma against online relationships, as if meeting someone from the other side of a computer screen is somehow less valid than meeting a total stranger at a bar or meeting someone through a friend or relative. You still don't know who those people are, and yet it's more socially acceptable? That is baffling to me. If anything, I think that developing a relationship online can be a lot safer than doing a bar crawl on a Friday night, and less embarrassing than joining one of those hideous "singles clubs" that still exist. Just be smart, don't give out too much personal info too fast, and realize that people act differently in person than they do online, no matter how long or short you've talked to them.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
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    Oh also, a girl I used to be friends with met her husband online, and they dated for six years before becoming engaged-- and she got him to move over to the USA from London, England to be with her! :P
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    I met my boyfriend on this Site actually..... Who knew =)
    He is the most Amazing thing since Ice cream & Pop Tarts! True Story! :heart:

    Someone say ice cream and Pop Tarts?!
  • lilRicki
    lilRicki Posts: 4,555 Member
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    I met my man online, and we're going on 6 years. I have a really good friend that's all embarrassed because he's on POF. I just cleared my throat and said "you know Dave and I met online right?" he forgot, seems like we've been together forever. I just chuckled. My BF met her man on ICQ back in the day, they've been together for 11 years. I have no shame telling people where I met the man I am to marry.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
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    People are silly. Yes, we have to be careful about who we interact with and meet off the internet (but isn't that true of any place?), but it's 2013 and a lot of people do that now. I actually met my husband online.
  • agreenmess
    agreenmess Posts: 94
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    I meet my boyfriend of 6 years online, I went over to England to see him after a week (circumstances made it that way) he asked me out the day after, we did a long distance relationship for a year till he had finished Uni and on his last day he packed up all his belongings and moved over here, we have been together since and I wouldnt change it for the world. Sappy **** is he's my soul mate and I'm his and I know when we are ready well get married and have kids. It shouldn't matter that you meet him online, I think meeting someone online and getting to know them properly (as alot of times writing online can take away alot of barriers that you would still have face to face) is alot better than "meeting" someone who is blind stinking drunk in a nightclub where you carn't even hear youself talk. Just my 2p's
  • Going4Lean
    Going4Lean Posts: 1,077 Member
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    so what advice can you ladies give on how to meet my future b/f- husband online ?
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I guess there is still a stigma attached to relationships that started online, and I suspect the reason is that there is always the possibility that the person you think you are talking to could be someone totally different than who they claim to be. But once you have met in person and you've spent a lot of time together, met each other's family and friends, etc., that becomes a non-issue.

    I met my boyfriend on MFP. Most of the important people in our lives know how we met, but we have not told some people (like grandparents) because they wouldn't understand. They didn't grow up with the Internet. They typically married their high school sweethearts at a very young age, and that was that. Because it worked for them, they think it works for everyone, and they simply don't see why anyone would "need" to meet someone online.

    I actually much prefer meeting someone online to being fixed up by a mutual friend. The last time I was fixed up, multiple people swore to me that the guy was awesome and that we were perfect for each other. So I let my guard down, and there were tons of things about him that would've been major red flags to me if I'd met him online, but because other people vouched for him, I ignored the signs. He turned out to be exactly the jerk I thought he was initially. I will never make that mistake again.
  • ejoy319
    ejoy319 Posts: 104
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    I met my boyfriend on this Site actually..... Who knew =)
    He is the most Amazing thing since Ice cream & Pop Tarts! True Story! :heart:



    Me too :love:
  • rachietuk
    rachietuk Posts: 308 Member
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    I met my husband online. I am from UK, he is from USA.
    A year to the day we met face to face we married, that was nearly 6 years ago.

    As long as you are safe and happy, do not worry what other people think.
    Good luck
  • Maribel_1986
    Maribel_1986 Posts: 457 Member
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    I met my boyfriend oline in November of 2011... 1 year and 2 months later we are still happy :)

    and we are honest to our family and friends about how we met. As long as you are happy with him that's all that matters :)
  • Kelly_Runs_NC
    Kelly_Runs_NC Posts: 474 Member
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    Moved from VA to NC, joined Match, met my wife within the first month. We talked for several weeks, dated for a few months, got engaged and married after being together just over a year. Together almost 10 years now and married almost 9. 2 awesome kids. If it works for you, do it and don't be ashamed. Without the net I would have missed out on the best 10 years of my life.

    Awesome story!!!
  • Luvmesumkenny
    Luvmesumkenny Posts: 779 Member
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    I met my boyfriend on this Site actually..... Who knew =)
    He is the most Amazing thing since Ice cream & Pop Tarts! True Story! :heart:

    Someone say ice cream and Pop Tarts?!

    HI BABY!!!! XOXOX
  • laural007
    laural007 Posts: 251 Member
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    I'm dating a wonderful man I met on the internet and not by your typical dating website. We met playing online poker. We have been together for year now. We have taken things extremelly slow because we wanted to get to know each other. We have finally agreed that enough time has passed and I'm flying down in May to go visit him. He is my best friend and we talk every day, several times a day. If things go well with our visit (and I have no doubts it wont) he will move down in the late summer/fall. He will get his own apartment so that we can "date" before we move in together. He lives in Kentucky and I live in New Mexico. I'm very hesitant about talking about our "relationship" because of the fact that we haven't met face to face but I know in my heart he is the man for me.
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
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    I met my boyfriend on mfp. He is freaking awesome. :love:
  • sleibo87
    sleibo87 Posts: 403 Member
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    I met my husband on a dating website! We talked online then the phone then webcam just to make sure we were who we said we were, before we met. 7 years later we have been married 4 years and are very very happy. Some people are just closed minded. A guy i met at the bar or out with friends could rob me too!
  • ShannonECTD
    ShannonECTD Posts: 203 Member
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    I met my husband online. Been together for almost 5 years and married for almost 3 :)
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
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    I've noticed there's still a bit of a stigma with my parents' generation, but most people in their 20s and 30s seem to regard it as normal as meeting someone in a bar nowadays.

    I met my boyfriend of three years on World of Warcraft. I didn't sign up to meet anyone; I really do enjoy gaming. :) We were just friends for a year or so, and then we started talking more and more. We enjoyed playing together, so I'd always log on after work, and we'd stay up late doing a bunch of random stuff either together or with our guild. He started emailing me outside of the game, and then we started talking on Ventrilo (like Skype, but without the video).

    Eventually, I flew from MI to NM to visit him. We started dating in January 2010, and he moved here in June 2011.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    I actually think every date I have been on since my divorce, I met them online. I am not into the whole bar/club scene. So there is really nowhere that I go to meet new people. And on top of that, I am a single parent without a lot of time. Nothing has worked out, but I have stayed friends with a few of them.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    Craigslist...hey either way You pay for it right? Just kidding......:wink:

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