Guys that are a 3 trying to be with girls that are an 8...

MinMin97

Frankly, I think women WAYYY underestimate their own attractiveness, falling into the TRAP of comparing yourself to another person.
AND, women very often WAYYYY overdo the effort to be attractive.
It's not necessary to do much to be very attractive to the opposite sex.
In fact, I think it is important to make an effort to keep one's sexuality where it should be....THERE, but...PRIVATE!

OP..you already ARE attractive.

ldrosophila

Dating world sucks! Those dating sites are so lame it's like a friggin job interview, but it's really the only ways now-a-days to meet a single man. I wouldnt worry too much about these guys would you really want to be with someone that shallow anyways. Id rather find guy who didnt have a concept of a number system but had a concept of something in something else like science or art.

I think a lot of times guys do get turned off if a ton of pressue is put on them toO not saying I know anything about your dating experience, but in my experience if you keep a certain aloof-ness but are still fun they will call back. I always find you let them make that first move keep them waiting and a little in suspense and it works like a fish to a net.

RunDoozer

Kinda girl I start talking to near last call... Only time low self-esteem is attractive.

ldrosophila

Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him.

THIS IS THE TRUTH

yo_andi

I've never had this problem.

Then again, I'm not a jerk.

BiscuitsNDavy

Every one is a 10 to someone.

Good luck.

ShreddedTweet

Confidence is attractive, talent is attractive, intelligence is attractive. Assigning numbers to levels of physical attraction is ridiculous because if a super-hot man is stupid, boring and unkind he'll quickly turn into an ugly person ( or as you say it, a 3).

VorJoshigan

I love Steve Buscemi

Yeah, this is what disturbed me most about this post. Why the Buscemi hate? I ain't sayin' I'd do him, but damn!

ItsCasey

First, let's get the obvious out of the way: men and women are not what they used to be, in terms of mental and emotional stability.

Back in the day, a man your age had already matured enough to know what he was doing with his life, and that was mostly out of necessity. When his education was complete (be it high school, college, or vocational training), he had to get a job and start supporting himself so that he could find a wife and start a family. No self-respecting woman would give a man without a future the time of day back then. And women were pretty single-minded in their pursuit of a career or marriage (and eventually both).

These days, men and women are content to just be boyfriend and girlfriend forever while they live in their childhood bedrooms, supported by their mom and/or dad. They think and behave like they are still teenagers because their lives have not drastically altered from when they WERE teenagers. They don't know what it is to have adult responsibilities, so they they don't see the appeal in finding someone who can help them manage those responsibilities, even if it's just with emotional suppoprt. So the only thing that matters is looks. That's why a guy who doesn't have much to offer thinks he can win over a beautiful woman.

And frankly, it's why women sit around wracking their brains trying to figure out why, despite being at least moderately attractive, well-educated, and gainfully employed, they can't find a man who is husband material. If you have all those things and you still feel like your life isn't complete because you can't find a man, then you are, in effect, admitting that you aren't good enough. Desperation has a smell, and this attitude of "I have so much going for me, yet men are never interested," smells like desperation.

jackpotclown

Actually, if you turn it around, why would girls who are an 8-10 want to be with a guy who is a 3 (in your book)? There's an answer for that too.....because she knows what she has and that 3 will do his best to make her happy in every which way possible (as opposed to a better looking guy who treats her like dirt)....so to answer your question, it's because there's a market for that kind of thing.....and enough movies to support the "delusion" \m/

Songbird1104

Some women find a man attractive if he is stable and able to support her financially. I dated cute jerks and they did nothing for me. I decided on a mature older guy who was college educated, motivated and treated me like a princess. I have no regrets. He has supported me emotionaly, financially and put me through college without me having to work. I say that overrates looks on every level, I am a big fan of security. If it was all about passion I would still be with my cheating ex. Also a great personality can bump your number ten fold in my opinion. That's not to say you don't have to be attracted to your significant other on some level, but good character just enhances appeal.

^^ Yes! I dated cute jerks, too, but they were just that: jerks. My husband doesn't have a perfect body, but his character is unimpeachable, his morals and beliefs match mine in every way, his personality is strong and firm, his sense of humor cracks me up, he is extremely intelligent, his principles and values are honorable and respectable, and he is supportive, encouraging, loving, and loyal. He may not have the body of Gerard Butler (drool), but does Gerard Butler have those other qualifications?

TavistockToad

Better to marry a man who loves you more than you love him.

wow, i think you're actually serious...

Mailboxhead1

I think the biggest issue here is that she was referring to dating sites if I read it correctly, and I don't think the situation she's describing afflicts only men. Yeah, personality match is ultimately more important than attraction, but how much of a persons actual makeup are you getting from a quick blurb on the internet. There are hundreds of people on these sites in any given area, and most people on them are there because they're too busy to read every profile they come across, so the quickest way to start paring down is by picture after filtering out obviously incompatible traits like smokers for example. All of the morally outraged people here who thinks it's reprehensible to judge others by looks are being disingenuous- you know you consciously or subconsciously notice others' appearances. I don't know about the hard and fast assigning people to number ratings process, but I'll be honest that I'm not likely to spend a lot of time courting someone I'm not at all attracted to.

I think the issue on these sites is that users see so many "available" people, and it raises their expectations of what's possible for them. Or maybe I'm just disgruntled because I can't get a response from girls who I would think are in a similar "league" to me either.

gkwatra

I think her initial frustration was she is seeing a double standard. It's easy to have the attitude that guys don't have to work as hard at looking good as girls do - it's just expected that women have to bust their butts to stay fit and men don't - which, when you look at it that way, is unfair. But, as stated from the responses, it is all in the beholder. And, yes, the whole number-rating thing is juvenile. No one deserves to be rated like a side of beef.

rockangel8907

I'll take the one that makes my belly do a little flip flop when i see him.

no number for that.

it just is.

Yes! One of my favorite sex and the city quotes "some people are settling down, some and just settling, and others refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies".

julesxo

I went to school with several guys like this, I couldn't even be friends with them because there was just too much stupid.

30 years old, butt ugly with no personality to make up for it and live in Mommy's basement writing sh1tty software. They expect some hot girl to go out with them despite their atrocious looks and inflated ego, and turn down girls who are decent and nice.

Best part: they wonder why they are single.

jrreeder

Why rate someone period?! Quit thinking of yourself as a "lower number" and have the confidence of a "higher number". Don't look at what everyone else has and concentrate on what you want. That girl who is a 10 and dating a 3 sees that 3 as a 10. Just because someone isn't your cup of tea doesn't mean that it's not that womans dream. Everyday think of yourself as a 10 and go out being the best you!

chelseabuns88

Relationships are so much more complicated than these meaningless physical ratings..

This is the problem with dating websites, obviously people who are deemed to be more typically physically attractive are going to hook more fish, your photo is your bait.. doesn't mean they don't get thrown back after a little inspection. Anyone can write a fancy blurb about their amazing personality/achievements... it's not until you really start getting to know someone that you find true attraction.. personality and compatibility outweighs looks.

If someone you consider to be a '3' is content waiting for a girl who is a '9', so be it. If physical attraction is all that matters to them and if they are able to find a partner who appreciates their personal attributes in return, what's the problem?

WIChelle

Whew this makes me glad I am not in the dating pool because I am baffled. My hubby is smoking hot. It never ever occurred to me he was out of my league because he is likely better looking than I am . I just thought he was, hot, irresistible , made my heart beat fast . I decided I was very interested walked up and went for it. Thank heavens he was also the sweetest guy ever so I've had 22 happy years. I think I might be too old or something because I don't get the whole ranking thing. It never would have stopped me from approaching someone i was interested in.

ZombieChaser

Guys... ain't nobody got time for that.